Monday, December 17, 2007

My Grown-Up Christmas List

what can I say.. I still like these lyrics the most,
it's still the same wish,.



do you remember me?
i sat upon your knee
i wrote to you with childhood fantasies
well I'm all grown up now
can you still help somehow?
i'm not a child but my heart still can dream

so here's my lifeful wish
my grown up Christmas List
not for myself
but for a world in need

no more lives torn apart
that wars will never start
and time will heal our hearts
every man will have a friend
that right will always win
and love will never end
this is my grown up Christmas List

why does this illusion call the innocence of you?
maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

this is my grown up Christmas list
this is my only lifelong wish



Simplified version by Michael Bubble

How To Be Greeny...

There are maybe not many things better than having a good cold long shower in the afternoon. Shioook.

I wish people can still do that in the future. Too bad there are a lot of good things that might disappear, as everybody starts to take note.

I have contributed to the waste of resources but I have some defense, ugh..? My defense is I have been feeling guilty of it for a long time, since not many people are really care about it or make it into a Hollywood movie. Not to throw plastic bag away is one of my pathetic way, use it for rubbish or if not, fold it and keep it for another use. It’s quite tedious, because it piles up. We didn’t cook everyday and not cooking is definitely one of the ways not to use many plastic bags.
The other thing is the water. Having long bath also makes me feel guilty, although I don’t do it too often and I tried to use water economically when washing dishes etc.
But I’m really guilty in consuming energy for air conditioning, it can get bloody hot here and aircon is my ultimate friend at night, another main reason is also because my bedroom is located so close to opposite block that there’s really not privacy at all even for ..uh…nose digging for example. But we use friendly temperature that so called can help electricity aka energy, for selfish purpose of course, pay less for bill.

Food waste, it’s scary to know maybe food source like seafood will vanish in short time. Blame the documentary channel; we kept stumbling through tuna hunting program that lead to the fear of their extinction. It’s really not pretty to see those big fish being caught on the net and then whacked and dragged to the boat by big metal hooks. It sucks, but on the other hand, Japanese food is also our favorite food.
It’s indeed hard to imagine the comparison of number of fish caught and consumed everyday with the number they are in the ocean. So far, big school of fish are not common sight except in well-known national park. Naturally it’s correct that big fish and schooling fish like sardine and tuna are mostly found in open sea, but even so, it’s depleting real fast. Maybe in the future, I won’t see dolphin following the big boat in the open sea anymore, or flying fish accompany the journey.

Chinese culture is quite horrible. Shark fin is for festive and celebration and social status. Turtle soup and egg is good food. Napoleon Wrasse lips is expensive delicacy. Dried sea horse or even Tiger testicle are believed to have miracle sexual effects.

Back then, sometimes we had shark fin soup for New Year reunion dinner, but since everybody, actually me, started roaming around, we missed a couple of reunion dinner. When we finally get back to gather again on New Year, we have left out the dish. I’m not really sure why, but I don’t think it’s because of my nagging also. Or is it? Actually I didn’t nag, sometime ago I just declared like a stubborn old lady that I don’t want to eat shark’s fin anymore. It’s horrible to see how the fishermen slaughter the shark to get its fins. They catch the shark, pull them half out of the water, slash dorsal, pectoral, tail or whatever fins and throw them back to water. I also saw the gory picture of a diving site with the reef, full of dead finless sharks. Some of them had their stomach open, with their dead shark babies inside, finless too. Documentary.

It’s kind of funny actually when I told my dad not to buy shark’s fin again. It’s not easy to explain things that I saw on paper on TV to parents, sometime language barrier (I don’t know all vocabularies from my mother tongue) but it might not really difficult also once they believe that I’m not just another annoying preacher. But my dad first reaction was, Why? We eat sharks, because shark is bad, shark is mean and like to eat people. So I have to explain again that actually bla bla that is what the bloody writer of Jaws tried to put and succeeded. Having been roaming the jungles for almost three decades, maybe he has seen more animals than what I’ve seen in documentary, so perhaps it’s easier for him to believe me.

But I guess it’s not so easy to help the environment, at least for the time being.
At the very least, everybody has started to talk about this global warming thingy without being associated with church member standing on the front door or talking to you in the public and try to spoon fed some believes to bystanders.
Shops has taken action also, although I’m still fail to see how serious they are. Big shops are selling recycle bag for shopping purpose. But the things is, it’s sold at a price. How difficult is it for the people to choose between going home with free plastic bag than have to pay for the bag.. Even if they charge for the plastic bag, they have more purpose on the marketing side rather than for environment. If only they can distribute the bag for free, to avoid recycle bag opportunists, they can give it for free maybe if you buy certain amount of things or do it some other ways. The company can advertise on the bag and everybody carrying it around will help the marketing! Two flies at one go?

It’s also quite dilemmatic to do something good. For example, we like to use kitchen towel for cleaning the messy table after dinner. Spray, wipe and throw. But then it’s a waste of paper although that is exactly the purpose of kitchen towel, but if we use the washable cloth, we also contribute waste as detergent and we also use more water to wash the cloth! Hm?
Also, sometimes there are still a lot of weird methods to do things against wasting unnecessary resources. For example, some of my lecturers demand us to do our assignment one page for each paper, instead of front and back, or skip a line for every line written in the exam. Some stupid variety shows are wasting food for game. Some streets are really really ‘overlighted’ that it burns our scalps. Some goverment demands money from others to take care of their own forests..And so on, and so on..

Perhaps, as long as everything is done and consumed moderately, I think we shouldn’t lose sleep over it? Enjoy cold looooong shower once in a while?
Like they say, we can keep trying, one paper at a time, one can at a time, one knowledge at a time, one action at a time, one tree at a time.

Just hope that for those with stronger power can do more or do less..



Who reaches with clumsy hand for a rose must not complain if the thorns scratch.
- Heinrich Heine

The sun will set without your assistance.
- The Talmud

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
- Anonymous

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.
- Robert Orben

Our task must be to free ourselves...by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.
- Albert Einstein

Man masters nature not by force but by understanding.
- Anonymous

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

It's Raining!

This few days (or weeks?) have been rainy. Small continuous rain, sometimes it stops for a while, to fool you to walk across the lengthy traffic light without umbrella or to happily put all the laundry, shoes etc out and in a minute it will buzz buzz buzz rain, make us like ayam dikejar monyet or wet like tikus kecebur got.

Back then, this kind of rain is a bless for children. It’s not hard enough to make parents yelled at you and not mild enough to make it less enjoyable. Playing in the rain, where had it gone? Children used to gain new friends in the rain. Kids from neighborhood, kids they had never talk to when it’s dry. When the rain stop, they would say, See you in the next rain! Because they don’t recognize each other when there is no rain.

Got sick? Nahhhh.. sick is not a popular word at all, unless some other kids throw brick at you, there is no sickness in our dictionary. Kid's immune system was actually very amazing compare to now. I remember we liked to visit our aunt, whose place is only at the next block. Her house was special because she has this private ‘river’. She would do laundry or washing dish and for us, kids, we used it for swimming pool.

Actually, the river is horrible, it’s more like a gutter, maybe a 3-5 meter wide water body that flow don’t know to where. Even then, I thought it was scary. Because we can’t see the bottom, who said bottom, we can’t even see our own leg. The water was brownish although it was not dirty, or so we thought. There are millions of snails on the ‘river’ walls. I think it’s golden snail, that has the pinkish egg. So that is our swimming pool.

There was an empty plot in front of our house also. Me and my brother liked to roam there. It was full with various plants, insect and small animals. There were even eels as big as us caught between our house and the ‘jungle’. We had one rambutan tree which was very huge and we could enjoy rambutan every season. Too bad it grew too big we had to bring it down. I remember my dad, my uncles, neighbors and a lot of people gathered at my house just to pull it down. It was sad day though, I liked the rambutan tree, the rambutan, although I didn’t like the ants that live in that tree and the big bee nest that hanging in there. I didn’t remember how they got rid of the bee nest.

But it was my fun childhood, we ddin’t have many things that anything was precious to us. We had to wait long and hard for a toy, but we treasure them that we kept them until we grew up. We learned to be creative to play with things that is actually not toys at all, like playing in the nature, hiding place, river, tree or playing in the rain. As the result, the children are healthy, happy, creative and brave. I really think so. We hardly found any body went home crying to their parents. Anything we have to settle ourselves. Like when we got bad marks at school, we had to crack our head to find a corporative adults to sign them for us, or we hid it until it was rotten inside the tree hole. That was me and my big brother time, look at the bright side, we didn’t think to go as far as to forge the signatures. But my younger brother could do that.

The kids may be dirty and naughty, but I think that is what a childhood should be.
It’s uneasy to see how kids nowadays have to many things on their disposal they don’t appreciate them anymore. They get bored with toys after a week; get new one, and the toys piled up in the house so fast. Every time I go to the toy store or any store that sell a bit of toys, on the checkout line we hardly see kids without new toys. And maybe worse of all, kids or parents forget that there is a world outside malls and computer games.

Although at least there is a new type of attraction, I forget what it is, it’s on the tip of my tongue, arghh! It’s those animation game that kids can play on the floor, step on moving frog or chasing after stuff. I think it’s good, kids should be jumping and laughing, not crying and screaming. Now there is also many games that involve physical exercise, one of the example is Nintendo Wii. There is another type that is better when you can actually jogging virtually and jumping across the barriers or kicking the butt of the virtual guys etc.
It’s something we could do for free but if indoor is the limit, than that is the substitute?

At least now, I like the weather. I always like it rainy and windy in the city, it’s cooling and beautiful. I would prefer bright sunny days in the beach, but in the city, this is my time of the year. Yeppie!



There are three ways to get something do get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
- Monta Crane

The wildest colts can make the best horses.
- Plutarch, Greece

If you want to see what children do, you must stop giving them things.
- Norman Douglas

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Bantal Asik

Gue dapet hadiah bantal asik ang gue pengenin dari dulu. Hehehe…

Ini gambarnya biar gak terlalu radikal gue kasih sensor ala komik Jepang. Hehehe..

Ini bantal plus guling paling asik buat cuaca dingin seperti sekarang ini. Cuman setbacknya bantal guling gue kudu gak kepake..

Iklan dikit neh..

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Hearts

Breaking up and broken hearted is never easy.

One of my friends is trying to avoid or prepare for that. But I guess one can never be prepared if they care about the relationship and the other person.
As a friend, I suppose to offer words of comfort, encouragement and approval. I can do the first two, but for the third one I can’t.

When a person shares the story about their relationship, they are looking at it from ONE perspective. He was confused about why she changes so sudden, why she treats him that way and why women are so mean. Nobody can judge what and who is right or wrong because nobody is in the same shoes with the couple. I’m not him, I’m not her. But perhaps I can also give them another point of view, something a sad person can’t see, something I might be able to share.

My friend is a cheerful person, but these two months he has been a skywatcher. Quiet, sad and instead of disturbing me watching the sky he joined me. That is unusual, that is like I suddenly fond to watch people throwing up.

The problem he has in his relationship is coincidentally similar with mine in the past. Actually, many many relationships have similar problem like this. The difference is I’m on the other side of the fence. It’s not easy to tell a friend, to play devil’s advocate that I’ve been in similar position with a person on the edge of his hatred. But I guess as a real friend, I’m not there only to agree with his point of view if I can offer some other reasons that he might need but not able to see. He’ll be the one who decides.

But, thank God, good men are from Mars, they are more reasonable and objective (I don’t read the book, I think that’s what the book is talking about?!). So he can see my points really well and can connect to it good. What matter is, it probably can gives him some way to band-aid the relationship, remedy or if everything else fails, hopefully it can be something to take note in the future.

Maybe the most difficult things in the world for a human to handle is relationship. It can make or break a person, it can leave everlasting scar, it can put smile on your face, it can be strong, it can be fragile, it has to withstand enormous amount of doubts, jealousy, uncertainty, temptations and challenges.

But still many people gamble and willing to suffer for that.
So it should be something worth it.


.

Love is the wisdom of the fools and the folly of the wise.
- Samuel Johnson

Quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side.
- Francois, Duc De La Rochefoucauld

We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.
- The Talmud

We live in feelings, not in figures on a sundial. We should count time in heartbeats.
- Aristotle

Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods.
- Plato

No man is born hating another person.. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
- Nelson Mandela

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Nightmares

If I had nightmare, normally it’s something similar. I can categorize them into few types.

1. The one with the public toilet.

In my dream I would need to pee real bad. There are always a lot of toilets. But the toilets are those built with basic materials, like cement screed or mosaic, the one used in olden days, and worse, the toilet either have no doors, no walls, have way too big windows or dirty. It would get me frustrated searching for the right one. And sometimes when I found it, there are another problem. For example, I would find one in the corner, it looks private but then I realize it doesn’t have wall on the back.
It would be my restless dream.

Maybe to connect it to my real life, I had experiences dealing with all kind of toilets before.
Stone toilet or wooden toilet, yeah, we still can find it in my hometown until now. So the ‘toilet bowl’ would be something endless you can’t see the bottom. The squatting parts are either made of two planks of wood or two blocks of stones.

Toilet built above the sea where fish are gathering below, it’s common in Thousand Islands. Went there few times for social work, lucky, they have normal toilet for us. I still can’t imagine how is it feels like looking at hungry fish below. Argh.

Toilet built with plastic sheets with half a meter high. I used that. Please notice my writing is trembling.

Toilet with no door. I can understand when I saw this kind in village chief’s house in Thousand Island. The only house with private toilet, yet no privacy. But I found it in an cottage in Malang, East Java. Holding a towel facing the door while trying to shower is one task too many. Door is good. Door is good!

Toilet with mess. This is so argh. It normally happen in the mountain posts. Before people went up to climd, or in natural holiday destination, sometimes there are toilets, with mess from previous users. Argh. I’m not proud to say I managed to hold it back. Back. Back. Back.

And here it comes. Natural toilet. No matter how I love nature, I still can’t do this one. So if we go for expedition and mountaineering in the jungle or mountain, one thing is confirm. No toilet. What we, eh, they do is using the big rusty knife, called golok or parang in Indonesia, they dig holes and do business and bury it back. That for big business. Small business can go just anywhere. What I do, I have a very big secret. Great one. I have to believe it and wonderfully it works. During the expedition, I will carry stone in my pocket. Solid stone. Small one will do. Some people tell me it will prevent you from feeling wanting to ‘do’. Ha.. longer expedition, I would carry bigger stone. Kekeke.
For small business, it’s quite easy, although we actually don’t do that often, because with activities, we perspired, even in very cold mountain.

So probably, I do have certain fear of toilets with lack privacy and basic comfort.


2. Being late. Out of time. A lot of things to prepare.

This one maybe self explanatory. I always afraid about last minute, being late and still have a lot of things to do.
When I was young, when we wanted to go picnic. I was late and the ribbon in my dress haven’t been tied yet. (Back then, we have ribbon around the waist tied on the back). My brother was making fun of me, saying they would leave me. And all of them had got in the car outside the road. My dad was tying the ribbon, but I was trying to get away and asked him to hurry because I didn’t want to be left out. W
eird, I remember the incident vividly. Kids are easily traumatized I suppose.


3. Scary fish.

Normally, there would be big water body. A pond or a tub of maybe river or lake, although hardly, sometimes sea shores. The similarity, the water would be grayish or brownish. Mucky and not clear. And there would be fish inside. Big fish, all ugly type, grey color, ridiculously big in big number, or small but in bigger number. They would crowd the water and sometimes they jump or exposed because there is not enough space or they can ‘reach’ me. And the fish would be smelly. Fishy. Some would flipping on the floor dying. Yuck.
I hate it when I dream like that. I still terrified if I look at aquarium that is not properly maintained or sad horrible fish tank in restaurant or supermarket.

Maybe it have something to do with my past too. We used to have a lot of fish in the home, or sometimes my crazy cousin put fish in the tub. Once, a one and a half meter Arwana the dragon fish, jumped out and flipped like mad. The other time, he put a lot of small fish, and when the water was full enough, the fish jumped out and flipped on the floor. Freakish. Hiy.

But my latest dream of scary fish few days ago had some improvement. Maybe because it was not the same. It was in the sea shore, brownish water. I was preparing to dive in it, but hesitated. When I put my head to peek inside the water, I see.. what to call it in English? Mas koki, the fat fish with big popping eyes and nice tail. Normally they are aquarium size but these ones are one two meter size. At least it was not so terrifying, because the number are not too much in my dream and they were swimming happily.


Those are three type of nightmares that I subscribe to. Whenever I had those dreams, I know that Here it comes again. But I panic in the dream and had restless sleep. Dodol.


But last night I had another horrible dream. I dream every night, everytime I fall asleep, so I always dream and normally I will remember. Sometimes it affects me for a while.
I dreamt I was in a nice place and sitting on the beach with my friends and my husband, looking at the nice sky and sunset. Then all of the sudden a very very high wave came to us. The water was dark brown. Everyone was shouting Tsunami..! Some ran, some stunned. We managed to go to the second storey but that was it. The highest point. Higher but far far away, was a rocky mountain. Which I still managed to think that, if only I was as fit as I used to be. Cape.


Horrible dream.



A thing is not necessarily false because it is badly expressed, nor true because it is expressed manificently.
- St Augustine of Hippo, North Africa

Agenda for today: breathe out, breath in, breathe out.
- The Buddha, India

It is within our power not to make a judgement about something, and so not disturb our mind; for nothing in itself posseses the power to form our judgements.
- Marcus Aurellius, Rome

Friday, November 16, 2007

Balik ke Masa Lalu

bawel napak tilas..

http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Singapore Zoo

Hari Minggu entah kapan, kita jalan2 ke zoo. Itulah akibatnya kalo males menulis, jadi kehilangan pegangan waktu.
Gue udah sering ke zoo ini, tapi udah agak lama sejak terakhir ke sono. Gue pernah diajakin kesono sekeluarga sama temen2 bokap sebagai turis dulu, ngajakin Hubby kesono, ngajakin sepupu gue kesono, ngajakin keluaraga Asung ke sono. Udah deh kayaknya. Sekarang ngajakin keluaraga adik gue kesono, biarpun pada prakteknya kita mencar juga karena gue ke gereja dulu. Ce e lah.

Sebenarnya dari zoo-zoo yang pernah gue kunjungin, Siangpore Zoo gue masukin sebagai paling bagus. Walapun banyak pengalaman unik di zoo lain juga. Waktu kecil, gue gak gitu inget kayak apa, zoo di Pontianak, kedengerannya kok butut ya, tapi gue inget ada beruangnya yang berdiri2 minta makan. Selaen itu gue cuman inget banyak pohon, tapi kayaknyaberuangnya itu tinggalnya di kandang beton, jadi bukan imitasi dari alam. Kebon Binatang Safari yang beken, kayaknya mendingan, tapi gue juga agak lupa soalnya udah lama, kayaknya singanya pada malas dan molor, trus perutnya kempes. Kayaknya sih konsepnya bagus, binatangnya boleh berkeliaran, tapi gue lupa. Kebon binatang di Balarat, Victoria merupakan tempat yang gue sukai. Kebon binatangnya kecil, waktu itu kita perginya udah satu jam sebelom tutup, jadi dikasih makanan kangguru gratis dua bungkus, bukan buat gue. Itu kayaknya kebun binatang khusus satwa Australi, jadi ada koala, emu, Tasmania dan tentunya kangguru. Kanggurunya berkeliaran bebas dan cuek. Cuma begitu gue keluarin makanannya, agak horror sih, satu2 mulai berloncatan dateng. Ngeliat kangguru loncat gludung2 ke arah loe, cukup serem lho! Dari segala arah dan tau2 mereka udah ngerubungin. Ini kangguru coklat. Ada yang narik2 celana ada yang berdiri, tapi pada sabar gue kasih2, pertama2 panik juga diantara mereka, ada kali 30-40 biji, tapi lama2 kayaknya makanannya kurang. Mereka lucu, ada yang kecil tapi berani, dia gaplok kangguru gedean yang mau nyolong makanan dia. Di Currumbin, Brisbane ada kebon bintang ada beken juga. Yang ada parakeet berkeliaran bebas, burung warna warni yang suka nangkring ditopi dan tangan dan bahu. Selaen itu ada pula kangguru bebas, kali ini kangguru abu2, mukanya lebih jutek.
Di entah namanya Taronga atau apa, Bangkok, zoonya ada gajahnya yang bisa ngangkat orang dengan sekali sentak. Tapi sayangnya sepertinya kurang binatangwi. Ada beruang madu yang minum susu berpotret bareng turis, tapi waktu beruangnya udah gak mau minum, tetap dipaksa. Kandang harimau juga salah satu pembatasnya dari kaca. Jadi harimaunya sebel dan galak. Mereka meraung2 waktu kitanya nempelin muka kekaca, apa karena kita lebih jelek dan gak berbulu..?

Jadi Singapore Zoo, mereka berusaha membuat semuanya alami. Walaupun bagaimanapun tetap imitasi, tapi gue bisa bilang mereka berusaha. Binatang2 bukan ditaruh dikandang, tapi di alam yang dibatasi parit. Ada aviary bebas buat serangga dan binatang2 lucu laen. Ada taman2 sayuran dan animal farm yang ada kuda poni dsb. Monyetnya juga banyak, banyak banget malah, berjenis2 dari hanuman monyet dufan yang jorok (dia garuk2 gituan didepan kaca) ampe monyet kecil mungil keriput yang berisik dan gibbon yang lebih berisik lagi. Gibbon tuh ternyata berisik lho! Ada pula orang utan yag pake kaen, hahahha!

Gue lagi malesn gubek2 fotonya, tapi begitu nemu, gue update deh dipost ini.

Ke zoo ini worth it, binatangnya banyak, dari berubu2 monyet ampe flamingo dan beruang kutub juga ada. Macan putih, timon dan pumba sampe lutung kasarung. Selaen itu ada pertunjukan2 tapi kemaren gak ngikutin soalnya gempor, capek dan puanuas..

Thursday, October 18, 2007

One Day in the Class

When different people say the same thing about us, it’s time to introspect.. is it?

Not necessary!

On the same week some time ago, I have been called destroyer by my colleagues and classmates. But no lah, they are just too blur to see the real nice me. Keke..

Anyway, I find it funny that my classmates are always surprise with my jokes. It’s common that when I play I used a bit of stunt and sound effect, but for them, they call me crazy and violent. For example, using &%#@$& on sms to curse on assignments is just too normal, we can find it in children comic. But they say I speak vulgarity. Since then, anything I did, like play pin stabbing on the announcement board, giving virtual elbow punch etc, or simply say it’s freaking hot in class, they will pick on me. Don’t get me wrong, we had fun and laugh. But I protest because when somebody else did that, they will say I influence them, or even when somebody else uses four word language, they are okay with it! What a double standard, they just say that my face just doesn’t match with what I do and what I say, I should just sit nicely, wear flowery skirt and knitting.

Tuesday, I was attacked badly. The things is, the night before when we walked back home with some friend, we accompanied our Japanese friend to her office to put in some file because the office is spooky at ten. So while waiting for her, we started to find anything interesting to do. The office wall is made of those textured wallpaper, so while my friend was talking, I virtually, v-i-r-t-u-a-l-l-y bumped my friend’s head and dragged along the wall. Just for fun. I did it all the time! It’s a new thing to them, so they were amused, but soon, they found it fun too, I’m sure..!

So when we met again on Tuesday night, it was raining hard. She was late. So I told her that she actually could call me so I could pick her up in the junction with umbrella. When it looked like she had this sparkling in her eye that there is a friend so nice to her (uhuk…croak..croak..) I suddenly remember that when I was nice the last time, she said it was not me. So I banged her head again to the wall, dragged and now the wall had some hanging frame so it was not a smooth ride, even for virtual one. Ha..

As usual, she would tell the whole class about what I did to her, and this time, the class was very big, together with my other friends from other class, and the worst, the lecturer also played along.

It was almost like an intervention! The lecturer pretended to give me advice, then my friend said it was all started since the particular module that everyone finds it hellish, then everyone pretended to give me advices too. At one point I really think they were not pretending anymore..Argh…

Then the lecturer said there are ways to control your anger management, one of it by blogging (huh), the highest number of whinny blogging is about mother in law and sister in law. My other friend was interested, sister in law..!

Why? You have sister-in-law-to-be you want to kill?

Yes, indeed I do.

Then why don’t you hire her? The lecturer pointed to me.

And before I could say anything. My Japanese friend turned to me and asked surprisingly, Are you a hitman?

And the worse thing is, she really believes that. She is such a honest person.

A day before, when the lecturer gave a remark that Do not drop your soap in the prison.

Somebody has to explain it for her.

Lucky, I could find my way out of the class before I needed to hear the vivid explanation.



_______________________________________________________________


If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson




.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Fuel Station

Yesterday I was talking to my Japanese friend. She said something very cute, but made me think. She was very excited to go back to her hometown soon for holiday, and she told me that going back to Japan is her fuel, she needs to refill her energy every half a year or less. Then she told me that going diving must be my fuel, which indeed, I totally agree.

I guess every one has it. Whether it’s favorite place or favorite things to do, human needs refill. In my Uni time, I don’t really have special place to refill, because I studied in wonderful place. There are few lakes that I could patron; one with a lot of life, water lily, tadpoles and beautiful sight. One for activities like kayaking or rubber boating. One for morning jogging track along the reservoir. There are numerous natural places that we could go. Walking among the giant trees and beautiful fallen leaves, lying down on the nice smelling grass, relaxing while listening to the music of bamboo trees, or climb the big trees, the trees are really climbing friendly, they have big sequential barks you can hold on too, and there are normally very spacey area on the top that can fit two or three people.

I was so lucky to stay in my fuel station back then. Sometimes I went for the additional super turbo refilling by joining my group activities. Staying in Indo is generous fuel filling too, especially during uni time where we have groups with various activities we can go to with the low lowest of budget. Few hours drive and we can get to almost anywhere special. Nice beaches, developed tourist beaches or beautiful remote untouched ones. Nice mountain, nice beautiful cliff or nice lakes and waterfalls.

Even though my fuel station has changed its shape, it still has the same concept, as long as it’s natural, I can get it. It’s only more difficult and far now, I need more effort and sacrification to go it.

What is you fuel station?



Man’s heart, away from nature, becomes hard.
- Chief Standing Bear, Ponca Nation


Under cherry blossom there are no strangers.
- Issa, Japan


The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein



.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ha.. & Go...

Ha! Apparently being an unemployed is not easy and not relaxing also.. There are many things I need to settle, using up the advantage that I can go anywhere during office hours. So officially, after one week of freedom, I still haven’t enjoyed myself much. Wake up early and sleep late. Still the same.. ha…

Since my brother has officially settled down with his family here, lucky him, he has many advantages with us being around, unlike me back then when I had to roam this concrete jungle cluelessly. I paid a official visit to his family. His baby daughter Nadia is reputable for rejecting strangers and OAKKKK… even Mom and Dad need few days to approach her. For me, I always think that kids will be scared of me, although it’s not proven so from my bigbro’s children, I still don’t have the confidence. Normally if I see cute stranger’s kids I will make faces and sometime the kids will return and mimic my expression, sometimes they laugh but sometimes they hide with horror or give ‘almost cry’ faces, lucky I always escape on time.

Fortunately, Nadia didn’t scared of me, she even asked me to carry her by waving her arm toward me, she also read newspaper with me. Ten months old, but I guess she can understand when I read the newspaper for her. At least it looked like she understood..! One thing great, I think she is like me, hehe.. she wants to eat everything. When her grandma gave her apple, she chewed it religiously, but then we decided the skin is too hard for her, so the grandma took it away from her and wanted to peel out the skin in the kitchen. When Nadia saw the grandma disappear with her food, she turned around and found the source, fruits on the plate, in front of my nose. Alarmed, I took the plate and before I knew she was already next to me and trying to reach for the plate. Didn’t have the chance to stand, I had to raise my hand holding the plate higher. She was furious, she grabbed my shirt, my shoulder and stood up (she can’t walk yet) and also tried to reach to my hand. I was panic, I put the plate on the floor as far as my hand could stretch, she quickly changed strategy and crawled toward it. Lucky her mom came with the apple otherwise there would be crawling competition which I never win when I tried to do it against babies..

Caltex Go-Kart Championship! Hubby's team is Top Six, unknown whether it's 4/5/6.
Not bad at all...!





Tuesday, October 02, 2007

SO

So, this is officially my last day at work, after spending 1/6 of my life here. There are many things I’m grateful for so I won’t say I regret about anything. I had great times, great friends and I will remember just like that. It’s also a bless that I postpone my resignation last year as I met many new wonderful friends.

One thing time can never teach me, is I’ve never been good in saying goodbye. But I learn that during my lifetime people will come, touch my life, some stay, some go. It’s sad, it’s difficult to understand, but I think that’s how it works. I will never get used to it and I don’t want to.

The only thing that never changes is change.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Two Great Advices

I’ve learned two things from my lecturers. These two things are very relevant and important in life that I still remember it while I have forgotten all the subjects I have passed. Lecturers are smart people, although not every lecturer is, but most of them are smarter than average people and some are extremely smart.

So these are the two things I want to share:
1. Always prepare to go.
One lecturer told us that we have to prepare to move on even before we settle down. He was talking about job and office. Anytime, anywhere, if you need to leave, leave. If your boss asks you to leave or if you want to leave, make sure you can grab everything in one go. Don’t drag. Don’t look back. Don’t take days to pack up your things. Nothing is forever. I think it’s a very good advice, what he means is deeper than personal physical things.

2. Be nice to your enemy.
This lecturer told us that no matter how mad he is to a person, he always comes and greets the person with a smile. He said, I don’t want to be stress by this person. Why I still greet him everyday, is so that he would be the one who feels the stress, annoyed, not me. Not only I want to see him stress, I want him to drop dead! Because he must be very upset I keep smiling at him, nothing he do can bring me down. Not only morning, at night, I still find time to greet him good night.
Mhahahaha.. I really love this one.

So to say, we really should learn from those who have been around very long.




Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly.
- Theodore Roosevelt


.

Yellow Ribbon Project

The Yellow Ribbon Project is about second chances for ex-offenders.
September is the month dedicated for social campaign Yellow Ribbon Project.



Tie a Yellow Ribbon
(Tony Orlando and Dawn)


I'm comin' home, I've done my time
Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine

If you received my letter tellin' you I'd soon be free
Then you'll know just what to do if you still want me
If you still want me

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
It's been three long years, do you still want me
If I don't see a ribbon round the old oak tree
I'll stay on the bus, forget about us, put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree

Bus driver please look for me
'Cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see
I'm really still in prison and my love she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please

Now the whole damn bus is cheerin' and I can't believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons 'round the old oak tree


Monday, September 24, 2007

Lantern Festival

On Saturday after class, me, Mom and my brother went to the Lantern Festival in Chinese Garden as mid autumn spring is almost going to the end. Since I brought Mom there three years ago, she likes it very much and it has becomes yearly visit. Hubby had been busy with his work so he rested at home and Dad went out with his friends. My youngest brother has officially moved here. This year the price goes up 50%, you see.. the tax goes up 2% only, but everything else goes up as they wish..

Anyway, it is nicer than last year, although it still doesn’t worth the price hike. The theme is underwater I suppose, and they explore quite a lot of species, including what I think as frogfish hehe…

There are new editions, wishing floating flower and wishing tree. Set aside all practical thought, we floated a flower and threw a wishing gold coin to the tree together with hundreds of other people. Good wishes and and well wishes are always needed.

There is also getai performance although we skipped it because the weather was very humid and there were human everywhere. It’s almost as cramp as Orchard Road, if not more. But everyone looked happy, so did us. Children paying with lantern and small fire work, and everyone appreciated the art of the lanterns. It's beautiful.

So it’s not bad at all.








Floating Wish




Wishing Coins







Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Last Week

I haven’t written crappy whinny long post for some time. There are too many things happening this and last month. Happy, sad, happy, sad, sad, sad…Luckily, in between crappy moments, somebody always make me smile again, hubby, good friend, lost friend, new friend, not so new friend, hidden friend.. blah blah you know what I mean.

Five months into my study, I still survive. Studying something that doesn’t related to my background and in language that I’m not academically familiar with, I was skeptical at first. But so far the result has been very very good, looks like I’m quite expert in bullshitting, I had never get so good results before in my previous school history. But I have to admit, writing blog, talking crap like this actually helps me in school, ha…at least I learn to think fast. Right or wrong, understand or not, get idea or not, just writeeee… tancap terus….yihaaaaaaaaaa..

Next week would be my last week in my current office. After working for five years here, it’s definitely not an easy decision to make. I tried to exit a year ago, I was surprised that two bosses of mine actually spent a lot of time talking me out of that idea. Fair enough, I gave it another try. But human is human, company is company, principle is principle. Wise man says, damage has been done. I’ve never looked at things the same way again.

I thought I have outgrown my stubbornness. I haven’t, although I would stand here to defend my stubbornness and why I’m being stubborn (this is how a stubborn person talks).
I wanted to stay in the company at least until I finish my study, oh I was pretty sure, I need to stay to finance my study. But I can’t close my eyes to certain things I don’t approve, and every signs of thing dropping further into the drain are very clear. The stupidest reason that I believe but maybe no one else will look at it the same way, I saw a person that I admire changes. It breaks me. I used to hold up so much respect for that person but slowly and sure, I see how the environment washes it out. And I don’t want to be like that one day.

I want to exit when it still high, I want to leave the door when everyone is still smiling and remember it as the way it is. I don’t want to lose my respect and my principle.

As I said, It was a very difficult decision. It’s like the second home to me, surgically attached. This morning when I walked to the office, I was tracing the path that I have been walking for five years plus, I don’t really remember mornings with bad mood, I remember being happy here, that’s what I’m keeping but I’m sad because it’s something so nice that I’m going to leave. But the another thing whacked my head, because it’s not nice anymore that I leave.

My mood is swinging like this for about one and a half month. One second, I was happy and jumping that I want to say bubye to all the things that makes me unhappy, the other second I was so sad when I remember the good things I have here. I had never need to visit toilet so often in my five years when the bad habit of girls is kicking. Together with other incident in family, I had no idea that I could be that sad.

But things are funny in their own way. So many people had talked to me since then. Some comes like angels in disguise, at the right time and the right place when my mood was so crappy I could only sit and did nothing. From those close friends until those I never imagined of. One guy in office bumped into me, as usual, we checked on each other. He was very surprised when he found out and he said, It’s very sad.. I’m losing another good friend..” All my time here I have mostly only exchanged hello and goodbye although he sat some cubicle away from me only about a year.

Another one I am not even sure what his name (chinese name., it's complicated!) bumped into me also, he said, "I heard you are leaving, is that true?" Then: "Aiyah...! Why all pretty girls are leaving. left those aunties...etc etc etc" Kekekekeke.... I'm not the one saying..don't puke on me!

Today, I got phone call from my best friend miles away. I was so happy to hear his voice from the phone, although we didn’t have enough time to update each other news at all except making fun and jokes on each other. But it came like a message telling me, if a person doesn’t change, regardless how far you go, you and me can be still the same.

So I’m alright, I’m actually feel very okay this week after coming back from Tioman. But as the time come near, I have flashbacks. But I have many angels surround me, so it’s fine.

To my relieve, I can still respect ‘this’ person. I come to realize something, he doesn’t want to change, but the environment tries to change him. We actually found out a year ago that we have so much things in common, we hold the same principle and same way to view life. I had my doubt for very long, but I’m glad that he still the same.

So now, facing my other challenges. How do I survive after this…?
I was very scared.
But now, I think I will survive somehow.


We do not see things as they are.
We see them as we are.
- The Talmud

Sorrow remembered sweeten present joy.
- Robert Pollok

The heart has its reason, of which the mind knows nothing.
- Blaise Pascal



.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tioman Weekend

Tioman Weekend...

http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Shoulder to Cry On

When I was a kid, everything seems remediable, everything seems answerable. Every chaos in life is almost always short lived.
I dropped coin, I got it replaced. I would still cry over it, but when thinking back, I laughed at it. If I got bullied by friend, I hit them back; they must end up apologizing or regretful. World was perfect, everything has black and white answer, right or wrong things are obvious.

Now I must say, adult world is not that fun, adult world is not as simple. So they must stop pulling out tree and destroying the sea, because there are so many adults who need those places to chill out and wind out. Nature is one of the remedy. Because sometimes in ideal world we can’t find the right answer, we can’t find the right remedy; we can’t find the right feelings to express. Sometimes the burdens are piled up above the neck and chock you up. Unlike children’s tears, adult’s are bitter. We don’t cry over spilt milk or dropped candy, but when an adult shed a tear, it accumulates from the bitterness felt inside the veins and it’s serious matter..

So don’t take out the tree, because we need it to shelter us, we need the green color to remind us of beauty, we need the fresh wind breezing through it to calm the nerve. Please reserve the sea, for we can dive down and let go the burden of the soul, for we can look out at the sky and feel the freedom of spirit in the air....

But remember, even in adult’s life, there is always a cure, and it’s always organic..
Nature and Shoulder to Cry On.




Who, save the god, can be happy all life long?
- Aeschylus

In the child happiness dances; in the man, at most, it only smiles or weeps.
- Jean Paul Richter

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
- Ingrid Bergman

Monday, August 27, 2007

Go Go-Karting

Bunch of us went go-karting on Thursday. Some for important purpose, some for fun and tryout, like me. I hesitated and had shrinking confidence at first, but the heck, I’ve tried before, it wouldn’t hurt me this time. What made me hesitate was that the cars are pro cars, so it could go fast and make me end up inside shrubs because the track was bloody short and full of twists and turns.

It started to get dark when we had our turn. So we positioned ourselves, four of us. The crew went around to turn on our engine, it used pull starter, and when the guy tried to on my machine, plong…the pull starter was broken. So I had to switch to the car inside while all my three companions had started moving, so unfair…. The crew gave me some tedious time also because they asked me to sit with a hard pillow on my back, just because I’m a girl, huh, but my legs are long enough…

It was quite fun driving go kart, although I can’t really forget my real talent as a bumper car driver ha…. I skidded twice because I didn’t bother to break during U turn, sometimes there was a devil in me asking me to speed and unknowingly I had the gas full but average, it was quite a decent ride lah.. went above the curb once, during the eighth minutes, it started to rain and the car skidded easily especially during one sharp U-turn. Overall, it was quite fun although the track was not well maintained, there were a lot of wild grass and sand, and I just have to grumble my late start because of failed machine.

Although it’s not good enough to relieve the burden I had in my head from problems in office, it was quite a substitute..



You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.
- Anonymous (as quoted by Arnold Bax in Farewell My Youth – 1943)

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Roller Coaster & Tea Cup



Life is like entering a theme park.
What ride do you choose?
Do you choose the scary roller coaster with numerous high supports that even visible before we enter the park, or
Do you choose Tea Cup, the colorful cups with beautiful decoration and characters?

I’d say, both are equally deadly.

Roller coaster is a ride, there are moments when you feel scared, afraid, excited, happy and at the same time wondering what you are doing.
There are path where you thought are straight, but it turns the other way around.
There are times when you are hanging upside down and even the deepest voices from your deepest throat are unable to escape.
Or when you ride up through the chain and wondering what are you going to get.
Or when you are desperately want to get out from the ride. Out. Out! And wondering whether you are going to fall or to fly.
But if you decide to take the ride, there is an end when you can look back at your picture for sale, screaming, crying, laughing, but you’ve been there, done that.

Tea Cup is a ride, when you can predict the way you are going. There are little or none turnovers or surprises. There is even the same sight you can enjoy for every lap. At some moment, you start to count how many laps you have left to go. By the end of the ride, you might end up with nauseous feeling that blur you thinking about who you are. And you can’t find your picture for sale, unless family or friends take a snap for you.

Which one is your ride?







Saturday, August 18, 2007

Menado July 2007

It's taking too long but it's finally finished..

Click:

http://apingpingaa-menadojuly2007.blogspot.com/


Cheers,
Aping :)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Kosong

P.S : Isi cerita gue cabut dulu bentar.. :)

_______________________________________________________________

I am really quite an ordinary sort of chap.
- George V, King of Great Britain & Northern Island

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.'
He said 'God beat me to it.'
- Rodney Dangerfield

We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.
- Gene Perret

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
- Anonymous

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
- Woody Allen

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

How Old Are You?

Sekali lagi gue bingung. Mungkin emang gue agak nyolot, tapi gue selalu bingung ama orang yang gak mau kasih tau atau merahasiakan umurnya.
Temen gue yang satu ini ampe menyembunyikan muka dan geleng kepala kenceng2 ampe mau copot pas gue tanya, padahal gue tanyanya udah hati2, padahal kita udah ngomongin segala hal ampe anaknya dan foto2 anaknya dsb dsb.

Emangnya kenapa ya, biar loe gak tau umur gue, loe kan bisa liat muke gue…daripada kayak gitu, kenapa gak ngaku aja? Syukur2 kalo muke loe keliatan lebih muda, feel good kan? Kalo enggak ya udah, so what? Daripada maen rahasia2an, malah ketauan nantinya.

Mumpung mood nyolot gue lagi tinggi, dan gue udah agak lama gak nyolot2an,
jujur aja nih, jujur, emangnya loe pikir monyet mana yang bener2 peduli elo umurnya segini atau segitu?

Gue emang agak kepo kalo soal umur orang, tapi bukan apa2, kalo baru kenal, gue pengen tau posisi gue. Kalo lebih tua, tentunya gue lebih respek, gak becanda yang enggak2, kalo lebih muda, gue juga harus tau diri, gak terlalu kayak bangkotan kegirangan. Itu doang. Sumpah. Sumpah. Gue gak pengen tau umur orang buat nyolot2in, lagian buat apa, kalo lebih tua, gue bakal segitu juga suatu hari, kalo lebih muda, gue udah pernah lewatin.

Tapi mungkin ya, orang merahasiakan umur karena segi sosial. Kayaknya kalo berada diantara anak2 umur dua puluhan, tiga puluh itu udah bangkotan, apalagi diantara anak belasan, bisa dijadikan nenek moyang. Tapi kan yang penting bukan dari segi angka2an…

Belom lama ini gue makan sama dua temen baru gue, cewek dua2nya, satu 18 tahun dan satu 26 tahun. Baru kali itu kita makan bareng, jadi sama sekali belom saling mengenali. Gue ditanyain umur duluan (nah, ada kan yang lebih kepo dari gue) dan menurut mereka berdua gue gak kayak 30 (hahahaha, gak kok, gak lebih tua, maksudnya lebih muda gitu… J), tebakannya agak jauh jadi sebagai manusia biasa apalagi seorang wanita yang baru merayakan ultah 30 belom lama ini, tentunya gue mesem2 aja, seneng doong!

Trus cerita2annya kasak kusuk berlanjut dan mereka tau gue merid, kaget pula gue merid umur 26. Trus yang umur 26 bilang, Aduh! 26 elo udah merid, gue gimana dong, boyfriend belom punya. Yang 18 menghiburnya, gak apa-apa lagih, elo kan masih muda, baru 26. Kalo udah tiga puluh tuh baru tua…..Eh, Ops! Oh IYA..!
Trus dia baru ingat kalo gue sebagai ambassador orang tiga puluh keatas duduk disana dan melotot.

Jadi, moral dari cerita, menurut gue itu bagus kalo dia lupa gue tiga puluh, padahal baru dibilangin, jadi orang tuh benernya gak liat umur kan? Kan?

Emang pengaruh social itu berat ya. Ada pula temen ngantor yang pas ampe hari2 terakhir sebelom cruise gak mau kasih tau tanggal lahir (buat dokumentasi, cek-in deelel) soalnya dia udah empat puluh lebih ternyata, tapi tampangnya masih kayak 37 begitu. Nah, bukannya itu bagus dia keliatan lebih muda dari aslinya? Maen rahasia2an kan bukannya jadi praktis, malah bikin orang jadi kepo dan malah jadi ketauan.

Mungkin dia khawatir juga akan pandangan orang2 karena dia masih single. Cuman ya, kalo dia takut umurnya itu jadi repellant potensial pasangan, emangnya dia gak bakal ngaku suatu hari? Kan lebih riwet gitu…?
Gue juga punya pengalaman umur jadi masalah hehehe…
Gue gak demen chatting kecuali sama temen2 yang gue tau, chatting ama stranger, ogah banget, gak tau mau ngapain. Pertama kali gue chatting di mric atau apaan gitu itu bareng2 orang sekantor lagi bosen gak ada kerjaan di Batam. Jadi caranya gini., eh, mungkin gue gak pantes ngajarin karena gue pasti lebih gak pengalaman. Kalo udah panggilan2, biasanya ditanya n a l, kalo gak salahhhhhhh, name age location. Dulu pas gue bilang 23 waktu itu, laku deh.. hahahaha.. tapi orang chatting nyebelin, waktu itu gue cuman nyoba beberapa kalimat biasanya udah mulai aneh2, jadi males.
Itu pengalaman pertama dan terakhir gue chatting di mric.

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, kadang2 kalo gue iseng gue suka maen Yahoo Games, favorit gue Pool Table atau Yahoo Pool gue gak inget. Jadi gue maen sama beberapa opponent. Yang maen game tujuannya biasanya maen doang, jadi oke2 aja. Trus satu monyet yang udah maen berapa game ama gue nanya sesuatu kayak n a l juga. En gue jawab apa adanya, waktu itu gue 28, hahaha. Kayaknya 28 itu udah bangkotan kali yah, anyway, semua orang kayaknya 13 atau 18. Dia kayaknya shock dan gak bacot2 lagi. Trus lanjutin maen poolnya. Btw, waktu maen pertama, dia komentar gg. Buat gue yang dari pedalaman sono, gue kagak ngerti artinya apa, jadi gue tanya dan dijelasin, gg itu good game. Gethoo.. mungkin dari situ ketauan pula gue ini makhluk purbakala.

Lanjutin maen, keliatan dia mulai gak niat, mungkin nyari opponent laen yang masih 18, huehhehe, anyway, gue gak peduli, gue bisa maen ama opponent laen atau computer, walaupun rese juga karena dia itu opponent yang oke, skillnya lumayan sama dan responnya cepat. Beberapa saat, mungkin habis kasak kusuk nyari yang 18 gak ada, dia balik kirim pesan. I’m sad and lonely. Huh, dasar kuprit. Emang gue siapa. Tapi karena gue baik hati, mungkin nih orang despret beneran mau bunuh diri, gue bela2in tanya. Why?
Trus dijawab, I want to have sex….

%^$^@#^ Kutu kupret bosen idup.
Tuh monyet bikin gue ogah maen online game lagi seumur2. Emang sih gak usah dipeduliin tapi males aja kalo kayak gitu. Kalo mau ngobrol yang jijay-jijay, sono ke tempat laen, ngapain loe nongol di tempat online pool? Atau cari game yang lebih banyak monyet2 happy go lucky sonohhh. Mungkin dia pikir gue bangkotan single and despret. Kalau gue bangkotan single dan despret, ngapain gue maen computer daripada gue keluar dan cari temen? Weeeee’’’’

Mungkin gue nyolot dan gagal melihat, jadi gue masih beranggapan kalau gak ada gunanya menyembunyikan umur. Menurut gue, itu malah membuat orang berpikir2, pasti orang ini bangkot, kalo enggak, buat apa..? Rugi kan kalo gitu..
Auh ah.

Post gue yang sekarang begitu, mungkin aja pas gue 40 nanti gue ngakunya 18…?
Monyet mana yang tau...


_________________________________________________________________


When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
- George Burns.

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain. (Hmmmmmm...!)
- Chinese Proverb

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot

An actress I knew – when I filmed with her, I was thirty-one and she was thirty six. Today, I am forty and she’s still only thirty-seven.
- Tony Curtis

I absolutely refuse to reveal my age. Why am I - a car?
- Cyndie Lauper

Youth is a religion from which one always ends up being converted.
- Andre Malraux

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re abroad there’s nothing you can do.
- Golda Meir

Old age is an incurable disease.
- Seneca


.

Monday, July 23, 2007

LET'S!

LET'S!


As munch as I want to start this week with happy posting. I got to say, life is indeed sucks. Sucks and unfair and cruel. I’m not speaking for my behalf; I have a great one and always remind myself to treasure it, especially when I see it from another person’s eyes.

Meeting new friends has opened my eyes wider.
It’s amazing to meet different kind of people in the world. Come from different background, different life style and different story.
I have a lot of friends with similar life background with me, we study, we play. Ordinary life and ordinary family. To think of it, it’s actually a very great thing to be grateful to. As a student, we don’t need to worry about our education in the past, how to make the ends meet, although we were not rich, we were okay.

The very first encounter maybe is with this guy who came from a broken home and had been independent since he was young. Under many circumstances, because he was working with us and we considered him as family, he stayed with us. He is very nice, he is very kind, but perhaps from personality or shaped from his background, he had a terrible temper. I’ve known him since he was 25 and I was 12, and I always regarded him as a brother. Little did I know, and I was naïve too, that he meant something more. So when my guy friends visited me at home, just ordinary visit from classmates, he was so agitated that he returned me back all my pictures which I don’t know how he got hold of them and announced that he wanted to break up. Huh? When did we actually become couple at the first place? He quitted working and disappeared for a few days. I was worried, I was sad, but I kind of very pissed off. It was too childish for my thinking even though I was only 17. Hypothetically put, even if I was his girlfriend, so what? Is that mean I can’t talk to other guys as long as I live?
But it was a breakthrough, I was glad it happened because it made me realize how was my position and I thought that should be the end. But sadly, no. He only gave up another five years later.

Another encounter with other side of life is from a guy who called me often during my Uni time. He got my number from my friend I guess, although I’m not sure why my friend would disclose it to a stranger. He asked whether he could be my phone pal, he called me on weekends when I was at home. I came to know that he was kind of ‘gangster’, he became homeless one time and another, dropped out because he had conflict with school, get involved in fights and whatever thing unfamiliar with my ears etc. I was maybe kind of his place to tell his tale, and I don’t know why it has to be like that. The good thing was, we were only phone pal. I don’t know how he is now.

I met this kid, kid, hehehe..two years younger than me when we were going to Rock Climbing Expedition trip in Bandung. We opened up this activity to public, and this kid from Boedoet joined us. See, for my school which so called ordinary respectable school producing students who listen to teachers and do home work regularly, or even between my Uni friends, many of us came from ‘proper’ school. Boedoet is a very famous school for their graffiti; they decorated the landscape of Jakarta with their school name with colorful spray paints, everywhere, under the bridge, on the wall, whatever walls. Anyone in my generation should know Boedoet and their reputation in getting involved in school fights or gang fights.
However, this kid, I don’t know whether because he respected my organization or respected my friends who most of them were males had these very garang faces, or maybe because he indeed a good kid, or maybe actually Boedoet was different with my imagination, he was none I thought a Boedoet-an would be. He was nice, a very gentlemen person and an excellent rock climber. So, we should never judge I guess.

I also felt detached from my ‘proper’ school background when Hubby had reunion with his high school friend. So four of us, with the wife and me, shared stories of the past. And three of them were actually the trouble makers in school. From fighting with principal to whatever thing I could imagine, I enjoyed the stories but was wondering how fun it was if I had done the same. Mhaha…the craziest thing I did was marching into the administration office and demanded an explanation about some costs that we had paid but we had never received and kicked out the foundation of teacher’s tent when we went out for camping trip, but it was nothing. I felt like a nerdest kind of nerd listening to their stories.

When I worked in Batam, I met more people who had gone through crazier life than me, One went by himself to other side of Java while he was a teenager, hitchhiking along the way and survived by washing dishes to get food.
When I actived in my cyber writing community, I found more shocking and crazy reality that life is bad, life is tough. What you see in movie, reality sometimes can be worse and unimaginable.

Now I meet new friends in class, and I’m fascinated with some of their story of life and workplace. One just shared another story that makes me really sad and thinking hard. He once had a very high profile job, but then he had to give it up because he had some medical condition, which is actually completely acceptable for him to continue his job. But it seemed like it’s so easy for people to abandon fellow human just because of some condition, his license to fly was revoked. He had to turn over his life, let go his education, passion and dreams for a cause that shouldn’t be valid.

So I said, life is cruel and unfair. Human are narrow-minded and selfish.

I also learned this from another friend whose everyday life is to deal with unfortunate and abused children.

If you need more, read everyday’s newspaper. It’s maddening.

I got to say, I am a grateful person, but I haven’t felt this grateful for so long.

So, I should dedicate this for friends of mine who are always looking up and unhappy about themselves, their job and their life. Because countless, countless time we disregard ourselves and forget about what we have and what we should feel grateful for.

They say, the good way to make a person grateful with what they have, is to take it away from them. But don’t let be that way, because it really sucks.




Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard


Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.
- Adrienne Gusoff.

Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
- Hector Berlioz

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
- Mark Twain



.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Happy Kakis

Hai, I’ve been neglecting twinging for a while.
It has been crazy time full of medical treatment for me, although in fact, I’m very okay.
I’ve visited Chiropractic four times, and there is still one more visit to go to treat my back pain, I prefer to say it is caused by sport injury. He…
I went to dentist to do scaling and end up tooth filing for three teeth and two more to go, minor but not minor for the pocket.
I visit general doctor twice in a week, different reason. But nothing serious, just cautious and prevention.
Dooh!

It’s also crazy time because every hefty bill is coming, income tax, insurance, insurance, insurance.

To add to the whole pain, and to kill the pain also, I’m counting down to visit Menado again. Seven days eighteen hours and thirty three minutes to go. This time we decide to go for a short tiny trip to ease up the stress from work and to cure the withdrawal cause of lack of sea water.

It was also hectic week for my Microsoft Office and my brain cell; I got a week full of stress preparing for my exam and another week to type my assignment, printed out two hours ago. It’s damn difficult because : I hate the subject, it’s too idealistic that it made me sad. But it’s over, for now. Tonight, another subject. I also do some typing and revision to be able to send a writing work for a competition. From the encouragements of friends, and especially, my good friend Lisa who always update me and inform me everytime there is a writing competition, but I always ignore it because I’m lazy. Now I decide to write, eh, no, I dug up my old dusty files, two years ago, when I active in writing, picked a work that is quite okay and decided to try. To write new stories, I have no idea and mood to start.

Anyway I have few happy friends. We decided, if any of us ever get sad, we will eat ice cream or chocolate as punishment, but the one who is sad would have to pay. So, for the sake of wallet, there is no other choice than to be always happy..


__________________________________________________________________

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
- Steven Wright

I can handle pain until it hurts.
- Anonymous

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No'.
- Woody Allen

To avoid delay, please have all your symptoms ready.
- Anonymous - Notice in an English doctor's waiting room.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
- Groucho Marx

Monday, July 09, 2007

Weekend Sto-

Monday is here again. But lately, Monday doesn’t taste that bad. It’s still bluish, but it’s better shade of blue. Apa coba..

Friday night I had outing with colleagues. Since Hubby also played RC with his friends, I joined the outing. Anyway, feel bad to decline some offer again.
During my years working here, I hardly joined any activities involved people from works. Let it be outings, parties, company functions formal or informal etc. And actually, I hardly go out for nightlife. The closest I have been too was joining Diver’s Night, usually held at Hard Rock Café, the last time I went I swore I wouldn’t want to go again, because it’s too crowded and not fun. We couldn’t find a place to sit and when we wanted to have dinner upstair as regular customer, HRC insisted that anyone came in registered as part of Diver’s Night are to stay at the dance floor. It’s ridiculous; we wanted to sit, to eat, what’s the diff? Unless we wanted to sit for free, unless there’s an entrance fee we didn’t pay. Some rules are plain idiocy related.
The other time when we had similar function, it was held in a pub nearby other pubs (which doesn’t?), it was terrible. The place stunk with alcohol smell and smoke. The pool table was not better than mine. So we escaped to the outdoor and drank coke.

So when my colleague said that the place is different, there is live music with cozy environment. It’s a non-smoking lounge; anyway, smoking has been banned by government. It sounded like good idea, I enjoy good live music and cozy environment, somewhere to relax and socialize.
It was not a bad night; the music was quite good although the place was a bit cramp. I felt quite out of place because other group dressed differently, I guess many people hung out there in order to find potential company. But we just sat down, relaxed and enjoyed.

Singapore, It’s getting very boring here. Not being ungrateful, but it’s difficult now to decide where to go on weekends. Going to mall is almost the only repeatedable option and it’s getting unrepeatable because everywhere is selling the same stuffs. We used to be more adventurous, went cycling at Pulau Ubin and East Coast, but it’s slipping away from our agenda. Friend who likes to take us sailing is often not in Singapore, and we cut off all our weekend diving to save money for better overseas trip. My regular swimming complex is closed down for renovation, and we have left the Underwater Hockey activities too long to conveniently rejoin.
And the weather has been unfriendly nowadays, it’s super hot and super humid, so the idea to stay at home is much more appealing.

But we went out to catch unintended movie marathon on Saturday, and accompany Mom to go shopping on Sunday, while visiting the old church I used to go.

Lately I also have some bad habit not to finish the thing I have sta -



.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Sepatu Orang Laen Susah Dipake

Ternyata (ternyata!) susah ya yang namanya ‘menempatkan diri di sepatu orang laen’ alias mencoba merasakan apa yang dialami orang tersebut sebelom menilai atau menghakimi.

Masalah popular orang-orang seumuran gue yang masih menggantung-gantung di jembatan sekitar Tiga Puluh rata2 nyaris2 sama, Kerjaan, Kawin dan Anak.

Gue banyak menemui kalo ternyata sekarang banyak konsep baru soal kawin, gak jauh2, dari kalangan orang2 yang gue kenal.

Kawin? Ogah.
Kenapa? Ada berbagai alasan.
Ada satu yang sangat gue setujui. Ngapain kawin kalo belom ketemu orang yang cocok, atau yang sesuai dengan apa yang kita dambakan?
Sering kali gue denger, sering banget malah, kalo ada orang yang bilang,” Udahh...loe aja yang terlalu pemilih. Gak usah terlalu cerewet..bla blah..”

Tapi kenapa gak boleh cerewet? Justru menurut gue aneh juga orang yang gak cerewet kalo milih pasangan. Tuh mahluk bakalan nongol di samping loe ampe bertahun-tahun kedepan, saweran nasi, bagi2 senyum dan air mata. Kalo orangnya gak cocok, kan penderitaan seumur hidup namanya toh! Apa salahnya hati2..tul gak..
Dari orang-orang, gue dapet banyak alasan, ada yang bilang mau nyari pasangan yang gak keberatan dia berbakti sama orang tua, ada pula yang bilang mau nyari pasangan yang enak diliat dsb dsb. Alasan2nya emang ada yang sangat masuk akal, ada pula yang bisa diperdebatkan. Tapi semua itu balik ke “Mau-mau gue..yang kawin gue...”

Ada pula yang bilang, kapok. Semua cewek yang gue ketemuin ngincernya duit gue doang. Mendingan gue membujang seumur-umur. Emang sih kasihan nih merek satu kalo gak ada yang bermutu dari dia selaen duit, atau mutu2 yang ada tertutup sama duit-duitan.
Ada pula cewek yang bilang semua cowok tengik. Tapi sejauh ini gue belom pernah ketemu cewek yang give up kawin atau berniat give up kawin, sejauh ini ketemunya cowok2 melulu, sebrengsek itukah kaum kita ampe disumpahin putus seumur-umuran? Hehehe...

Alasan laen, ada yang bilang, gak butuh, ngerepotin aja, nambah2in pikiran, atau punya cewek susah maintainnya, kudu nelpon, kudu ingat tanggal2 ajaib, kudu ngeraya-rayain hari2 gak jelas, pokoknya punya cewek menuntut semua energi jiwa dan raga dan pengennya dicurahkan buat membangun karir. Kalo yang kayak gitu, gue sih mikirnya belom kaliiii..belom kena cubit Cupid beneran, kalo udah kena, kata orang2, bulanpun diambilin, gunungpun didaki, lautpun disebrangi, jantungpun ditato..

Gue selalu setuju kalo kawin jangan buru-buru., daripada menyesal, kenalin dulu tuh calon, paling oke kalo temenen dulu. Banyak yang gak setuju sih soal temenan. Padahal kan dari temenan baru bisa ketauan jabrik2nya kan., kalo orang pendekatan kan keliatan bagus2nya doangan, jadi gak gitu ketauan kualitas bajakan atau asli. Cuman itu pendapat gue yang gak pernah nganggap serius orang yang bukan-temen-langsung-pendekatan dan gak percaya sama cinta pada pandangan pertama. Huhahahaha, jadi mungkin gak valid.
Itu kali, makanya susah untuk menempatkan diri pada sepatu orang laen. Tanya gue, Cinta pada pandangan pertama? Di- Dukun -in kali’’.....

Selaen repot2 soal kawin, soal anak, orang juga pada suka gak ngerti kenapa ada yang belom siap atau nunda dulu dsb dsb. Gua aja bisa, mereka aja bisa, itu yang sering gue denger. Ingat biological clock, Kawin, terusannya ya punya anak.. Bla bla bla..,
Untungnya didunia temen2 gue banyak yang ngerti soal Belom Siap. Apa sih yang susah dimengerti? Perasaan cuman dua kata. Tapi dua kata itu perlu penjelasan panjang lebar dan cuman orang yang bisa ngerti posisi yang bersangkutan yang bisa ngerti. Jadi sekarang gue males repot2 jelasin, percuma, frekwensinya laen, prinsipnya laen, sepatunya laen.

Soal yang rese, juga soal kerjaan. Gue paling pusing kalo orang mulai komentar soal kerjaan, kenapa gue harus stuck disini, dengan gaji segini, kenapa ini, kenapa itu. Satu hal udah jelas, visi dan misi kita beda, background and keinginan beda, level comfort dan ambisi beda. Apa yang elo kejar2 dan elo suka belom tentu gue suka toh? Kalo dulu gue ladenin demi sopan santun, sekarang gue mulai sebel. Kalo katanya bermaksud baek, kok maksa? Yang gue maksud disini tuh orang2 yang agak ekstrim, bukan yang sekedar berdebat sore-sore soal masa depan dan kerjaan, tapi ama orang yang menentu2kan shoulda coulda woulda nya gue dengan semangat yang gak ada matinya gak peduli interupsi dan gak mungkin ada pendapat yang bener selaen pendapat mereka.
Gak maen-maen, gue sebel dibikin berasa bego dan gak worth it dan gak berjuang dsb dsb. Gue pernah down berat gara2 dicekokin ‘filsafat’ gitu-gituan, trus gue mikir, usia segini (ceeehh) gue gak butuh orang yang bikin gue down, perasaan hidup itu udah cukup ribet. Gue butuh temen2 yang bisa bikin gue tertawa dan merasa senang hidup, mungkin udah saatnya gue milih-milih dikit kalo gue gak pengen deket2 orang yang bikin gue down, kasarnya, ngabish-ngabishin waktu gue aja, kalo mau pidato satu arah, ke lapangan sana. Ujan-ujanan.

Doooh. Lagi sakit pinggang neh. Malu-maluin aja banyak janji ama chiropractic. Kunjungan pertama, balik2 menjadi2, merambat ke lutut segala.., encok kali ya.. huh..

Malesh nyari quote, ini satu yang gue inget dari pilem :

“Please! Don’t eat me! I have wife and children.
Eat Them.”
- Homer Simpson

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

It's Like This!

If there is unhappy crap happen, there is also happy load. Unhappy crap, happy load, there are two sides of coins.

Friday night, there was office function, D & D, Dinner and Dance. I had been absent for about three years, I think, two being I had something else, one being I was lazy..
The D & D is cruise to nowhere for 4 hours in international water.
If I forgot to mention before, now I have a lot of new friends in the office, and the more the merrier.

We were to dress up like holiday, Bermuda, flowery shirt etc, and many people showed up with the spirit. The happy thing was we could leave office early around 3 pm and went to Harbour Front, the seaport used to be called World Trade Center, where we hung out every weekend during our struggling to move our life here from Batam.

The participants this year got its record high, 86 people. Cruise sounded like good idea for a getaway, at least it’s something different.
But indeed, it’s much fun. Maybe because we had creative and quite crazy MC to get everybody motivated and played. If anyone planned to have a career as an entertainer, I have this observation to share. The easiest group to please or entertain is children. They have high spirit, eager and have genuine effort to have fun. The second group might be working adults, maybe followed with old people or teenager.
Working adult, sometime it’s very fascinating to see how they react to games and playing in group. They are willing, they are happy even with simplest games, and it’s nice to see everybody like that. So adult is just grown-up children, working adults is just stressed grown-up children.

We had fun, we laughed like mad, and I enjoyed this D & D a lot, especially when I was spared from all the games, ha! Best part J.
I also fascinated to see that many people love to be somewhere out there also, to see the sea and the horizon, although the scenery is not much compared to other places, it was a good enough substitute. And it still reminds me of their cousins, the other seas I’m longing for. It might remind everybody else about their dream places.

It’s also nice to sit down and chat with friends. We took group picture and fell everywhere when the boat rocked to left and right like crazy. Even small dive boats hardly rock like that!

Overall, I must say, my weekend survived on friends. On D & D, and in my class.
We had quite boring lecturer and boring lesson. So we were struggling to survive in the class. I was caffeine loaded so my eyes were open but my mind was flying outside. Two guy friend I knew from previous intake had taken the class before, and they knew how bad it was. Different class had different break time, so when I was in the classroom, they had their break and stood outside making funny faces, while I tried to keep my face straight not to burst out laughing.

What also made me survive was almost all my classmates were more bored than me, when finally at end of the day the lecturer said, So this is it, the last page for today just ended. Then every one was happily closing the book and took deep breath. Then suddenly, the lecture said, Wait, one more thing! I was almost fainted but worse, I saw my friend who sat in front shaking like crazy. I couldn’t help but laugh for almost half an hour. Apparently, luckily, the lecturer only wanted to hand us some copies of articles.


Laugh whenever you can, it's a cheap medicine.
- Anonymous

It's Like That!

Promises,… I don’t know why I’m very obsessed with promises.
Right now, I’m in angry term with my office, because, again, they never deliver their promise.

I know, I learn that promises not always delivered, more often that it is. I used to take it a bit harder than other people, because I always wondering, why the heck someone gives promise without intention of doing what they say, or at least, don’t do it lightly, because other party might be more serious.

When I saw the pattern of people I know who likes to run away from promises, I would change my attitude toward them, honestly, to protect myself. I would consider that if his/her run from their promises, they also don’t expect me to fulfill my promise to them. For example, I wait for you here, I’ll contact you for this/that, let’s meet at two, etc, and they show up at three or four or nothing without explanation. If it happened again and again, of course I would expect that your three is four, I’d save my own ass and show up at four. Some operate that way, the other kind who happen to show up on time that day would give you hell by saying how long they wait etc etc.

I have some friends who always give me an earful for me not replying to their emails. Me and them know, the fact is the other way around. After some times, I learn that he/she is only saving his/her own face, after a while another type of excuses would come, my emails lost in space etc etc.
Honestly, I really couldn’t careless about what happen, but there is no need to give me that kind of excuse or worse, reverse the truth. I don’t care that much to correspondent with somebody who is not willing too. Anyway, most of the times, they are the starters, I just being polite.
I found that hard fact is, as I’m getting older (ha!), life is too precious.
Give chances, give a lot of chances, but there is time when we have to drop it. Cut.

What I know, I always try to trust a promise, although sometimes it comes from people I somehow know doesn’t really honor promises, I still try to give them the benefit of doubt, and at the end, I’d be disappointed again. And again.

Now, I can see something else.

I used to think that what I could do is don’t give any crap about any promise, unless it’s from someone I really trust.
But now I know, it’s quite impossible, unless I want to turn myself into something crappy like that, I don’t like to take a promise lightly, or maybe I can’t.
What I have to do, is to fence my self more, I would still believe in promises, even from crappiest person, I know I’d be hurt again, but that might be THE right area that I need to work on too. Get Hurt, Move On, Screw You, Get hurt, Move On, Screw You.

It would be good if I can smack someone on the face, or give a good kick on the butt of course, but that would be in my own ideal world.

As long as I still can turn to my other half and family for comfort and trust, I’d be fine.


___________________________________________________________________

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Simplicity of Lin Yutang

Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
- Marcus Aurelius

Monday, June 18, 2007

Father's Day

Sunday was international Father’s Day. I think the formula is 3rd Sunday of June. Indonesia doesn’t have Father’s Day, I don’t know whether it’s because Indo doesn’t care about Daddies, or because the Daddies refuse to celebrate themselves. Because I heard it’s quite well-known that Father’s Day gift or dinner occasion sometimes is billed directly to the fathers. Kekeke.

Appreciation for father or parents shouldn’t need special occasions to celebrate, although it’s also good to have special days. Explicitly said, they sacrifice their young ages to grow us. They sacrifice their hard earn money to cloth and educate us. Let it be our turn one day. Or now.
At least when the stress level of Singaporean is getting higher, they do remember to celebrate Father and Mother’s day, special dinning and restaurant would be fully packed during these two days.

Talking about stress, I saw one very stressed guy yesterday. So we were passing this building along the Orchard Road, where there was a promotion event for MasterCard or Visa. The guy promoting, talking to the mic, was advertising at first but then it was turned into swearing.
“Ladies, and Gentleman, come and try your luck on this special Father’s Day promotion. If you had Card with with MasterCard or Visa, come and throw a ball to win a prize. Every one should win; the lowest prize is a pen. Ladies and Gentleman, you should at least get a pen, the biggest prize is Ipod. In between you probably get umbrella, notepad, etc, etc..”
Then, (I guess) he approached passerby and got turned down.
“What? No time?! I don’t understand, what is wrong with you people!? It’s Sunday, time to enjoy yourself, what’s wrong by setting a side a bit of time to try this… No time no time, grmbl grundel..bla bla bla bla bla…”

I wonder whether this guy is suitable for promotion, maybe he was forced to work on Sunday, or he didn’t get any last night.
But if somebody was pissed off enough to shove it on his face: What is so appealing in joining long queue for what? For a pen? I know about Ipod, but I also know that biggest present means one in thousand or million, if it existed at all. And what is so enjoying to queue for a pen? On the contrary, everybody else is enjoying themselves because they don't need to queue for a pen! Also, people might be busy with their kids, there's no Sunday for that, and even if not so, I can think of a hundred better ways to spend the time.

I don’t have anything to do with him, so I just contribute my two cents, but the people he was scolding must had a change of mood of nice Sunday, because of nothing.

If it was me, he would get Super Sanya Tigaaaaaaaaaa I tell you..

Happy Father’s Day to all my friend who has become a father :),
Every guys playing with children is cute, remember, don’t just play, change the diaper, bath the kid, don’t act cute only, help your wife :D!

___________________________________________________________________

Becoming a father is easy enough. But being one can be rough.
- Wilhelm Busch

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
- Peter De Vries

Friday, June 15, 2007

Anxiety

I feel like I wanna smack somebody
Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain't goin' out bro
I ain't givin' into it

Anxieties bash my mind in
Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain't fallin' down bro
I won't lose control bro
Shackle and chained
My soul feels stained
I can't explain got an ich on my brain
Lately my whole aim is to maintain
And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin' out propaine
My train of thoughts more like a runaway train
I'm in a fast car drivin' in a fast lane
In the rain and I'm might just hydroplaine

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzi's
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the

The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won't give into it bro
Gotta get myself back now
God, I can't let my mind be
Tell my enemy is my own
Gots to find my inner wealth
Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can't get caught
I can't give into it now
Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions
Only I know what's upI'm filled up with pain
Tryin' to gain my sanity
Everywhere I turn its a dead end infront of me
With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety
Got me feelin' strange paranoia took over me
And its weighin' me down
And I can't run any longer, yo
Knees to the ground

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzi's
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the

The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety



Black Eyed Peas

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Kisah Koran

Dua hari yang lalu, ada koran yang nyolod isinya.

Negara Cina terkenal dengan bajakannya, kalau di Indo gue suka WAW ngeliat mall yang isinya dvd2 bajakan semua, bahkan turut bersalah membeli segepok2 kalau lagi pulang, tapi Indo itu masih bukan tandingan Cina kalau soal bajakan.
Dulu, lama yang lalu (gimana terjemahin long time ago seh?), gue dikasih liat foto kalau di Cina ada tiruannya Rochamp dan Villa Savoy bangunan karya arsitek ternama Le Corbusier (kalo gak salah ngeja lho!). Ampunan-ampunan, bangunan aja dibajak.
CD bajakan, bukan soal lagi, semua meriah tumpah ruah disana, tapi yang terakhir ini, yang bikin gue bener2 melotot, katanya di Cina sekarang banyak darah palsu / fake blood. Gak jelas gimana, pokoknya salah satu unsur darah yaitu Albumin, bisa dipalsuin, entah dibuat entah pake bahan laen. Dan tentu saja, berbahaya buat orang yang menerima donor darah, bahkan bisa fatal. Emang gila bener, dasar Cina!

Belom lagi kelar soal orang2 bermata sipit tersebut, muncul lagi cerita bangsa bermata sipit laennya (gue lagi ‘belo’ nih, jadi gak berasa kalo nyela2 sodara seperguruan), cerita tentang milliuner dari Korea Selatan, tuh konglomerat ini ceritanya mau nyariin jodoh, iklanin anak ceweknya, tapi resenya iklan itu bilang sesuatu kayak mau cariin jodoh buat putrinya yang udah terlalu tua dan terlalu pendek. Alamak, dimana-mana tuh orang kalo ngiklan yang bagus2, biar gak bagus juga dibikin bagus, biar gak ada yang bisa dibikin bagus, boong juga jadi. Namanya juga iklan, monyet mana bikin iklan yang jelek2in produknya.
Jadi gue bilang, konglomerat ini nyolod abis. Belakangnya dia bilang sih, anaknya terlalu tua dan terlalu pendek, tapi di hal-hal laen cukup oke, kenapa pula gak diiklanin yang ‘cukup oke’ itu?

Tapi gak usah khawatir soal yang terlalu tua dan terlalu pendek, toh pelamar yang ngantri banyak, itulah kekuatan duit. Mungkin juga orang nyolod ini pengen nguji kali ya, cowok2 yang bisa ‘dibeli’. Kenapa gak sekalian ada dia maen api, bener2 jelek2in anaknya, dari segi fisik, dan personalitas. Kayak, terlalu tua, terlalu pendek, terlalu girang, suka maen2 ama bom Molotov, demen bakar2, kalau marah suka ngerobek duit, kalo ngomong nyembur2 nasi, sering maenin piso, cengeng gak keru-keruan, suka gigit kuku kaki, keramas dan mandi syukur-syukur sebulan sekali.

Nah lho, mau kasih alasan apa lagi cowok-cowok matre itu selaen ngaku doyan duit? Tul gak. Tul gak.

Begitulah, Begitulah.


_________________________________________________________________

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.
- Anonymous

We all need money, but there are degress of desperation.
- Anthony Burgess

A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles.
- Edgar Watson Howe

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

- Mark Twain

.