I have quite a lot of single guy friends, and my friend has a lot of single girl friends. So, she asked me to introduce my men (;p) to her girls. Weleh weleh.. how come it sounds so …
I never gave way to her idea, it’s too much of a hassle, what am I, a matchmaker?
If we are happy, forget the ol’ matchmaker! If we are unhappy, kill the matchmaker! Who who ha ha he ho who who…chanting…
When I was a kid, I watched a matchmaking process. Don’t know how, my aunt and my mom dragged me along. So this matchmaker lady was an old lady, she lived alone (Why didn’t she matchmake herself?) in a very dark house, with only single fluorescent light, few wooden chair and one table. I vividly remember that there was nothing else in the living room except a wall calendar…from last year (Doesn’t sound like a promising career huh?) The bride and groom in question were not there, so it’s my aunt’s relative, an unmarried lady in her mid thirty, I guess, looking for a husband, and this matchmaker knew one eligible bachelor, my aunt asked my mom to accompany her, to settle on the date of meeting etc etc..and they had to do imaginary count because there was no up to date calendar! That’s why I remember she didn’t have a real calendar! It’s a matchmaker house!
Then, we also went to the groom-to-be house. The groom was slightly younger than the bride, he had a bit of speech problem because of short tongue, I don’t know the medical term of this.
Then they met, I remember behind the door the bride complained that he didn’t look good and didn’t speak so well, but since she was thirty plus and wanted to get married asap..
The groom’s family complained that the bride was too old, but since the groom had some disadvantage and too shy to look for a bride himself..
So it was quite a happening wedding. They looked happy, more than I expect from a relationship born of an expired calendar. I remember they were still together years later, now, I don’t know.
I had been ‘matchmaker’, unofficially and accidentally. My girl friend told me that she liked this guy, but I had to keep it as a secret. Then the guy also did some sharing with me, and told me he liked this girl, but it had to be a secret too. It gave me headache all week long, how would I tell them!? And nobody was taking the real step, each of them shared me different stories.
M : She threw a pencil case at me today! She doesn’t like me.
W : I had to throw a pencil case to him today. He talked to the other girl way too much.
M : We want to study together. Can you come too?
W : Please, please. I don’t know what to do if we were alone.
So I came. They treated me like a Muppet. So they didn’t want to show their affections to each other too much, and I got all the fake attentions.
It went all aloooong with no improvement, I dropped small to huge hints, even slapped something obvious in front of their nose, sniff, they didn’t believe me. What I could do was chewing my fingernails while hearing their complicated stories. Hayah, screw them!
There was one same case with different ending. Somehow another couple settled through their courting process and got so comfortable with each other, and suddenly, they looked at me as if I was an alien.
The signs were obvious. *Get out from our sight! Hush! Hush! Bugger Off!*
See? I didn’t even want to be there on the first place if they didn’t ask me to!!!
Another type of case, a girl told me that she liked this friend, she asked my advices or whatever2 or whether I could help her. It broke my heart a bit because ehmm.. I thought I liked him too, hehe.., anyway, I didn’t take myself seriously and I helped her.
Me : What do you think about Markayam?
He : Who?
Me : Markayam.
He : Ayam who?
Me : That girl. She sits next to you for two years!
He : Oh.
Me : And?
He : Yes?
Me : So?
He : What?
Me : Markayam! Markayam! Ayam!
He : Oh. Ayam who?
So, there is no way I want to be involved again, unofficially, accidentally, forcefully. Nyah. Nyah. Nyah.
I expressed this attitude when my colleague asked me to introduce my friends to her, then she protested.
Why not? It will increase our chance to find the right person. For us, our goal is to meet as many people as we can, the rest is up to everything else. You should have help the society while you should. Remember the hungry children in Africa and endangered Rhino in Java. Whenever you reject the request, there is one fairy drop dead somewhere from the sky…
Hum.
I was wandering around a bookshop when I met this colleague next door; he used to be my lunchmate before he was moved next door and was my first friend when I first joined, so we exchanged small talk. He will be forty soon, but seriously, he doesn’t look like forty at all, I would guess thirty had I not known. He is a very shy but very nice guy, so he told me this story that his family kept pressuring him to take a Vietnamese bride.
It’s quite common in Singapore, that you can ‘buy’ a bride from Vietnam. With around 10K, you could go to the shop, choose from catalogue and they would arrange a meeting. I guess you can change you choice if you don’t like later on. Usually the girls come from Vietnam village, young, pretty, and they make very good housewife. But..
I told him not to listen to the relative; anyway, the one who kept feeding the idea owns a matchmaking agency. It’s just a funny idea to marry a stranger. Marriage can’t be forced right? So when something go wrong, the only person you can blame is yourself. Nyahoo looooe. Sapa suruh. No regret.
How could somebody marry a stranger and living together just because ‘it’s time’?
Screw people who decide ‘it’s time’. Bollock.
And, imho, it’s more romantic if someday,
Do you remember when we first met? Our beca tabrakan kebo and yours went to the gutter. Mahahahahha… You looked really funny with your face trapped inside the beca’s wheel..
Rather than,
Do you remember when we first met? I thought I miscode the catalogue number…
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Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married.
Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife.
- Bert, AGE 5
What Do Most People Do on a Date??
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, AGE 10
The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married??
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
somebody to clean up after them.
- Anita, AGE 9
It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I
don't need that kind of trouble.
- Will, AGE 7
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
- Unknown
I think - therefore I'm single.
- Wendy Liebman
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
- Carol Leifer
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen
