Warning: Not suitable for male readers. Complicatedly.
Maybe anyone has been in a situation, when a friend is in relationship whirlpool. She came to me and told me how hurt she was to be with her boyfriend, how he hardly appreciated her, how he treated her in front of friends and how they spent un-quality time together. From manggut-manggut to dropping jaw I heard piece of piece of her experiences and concluded, how bloothy hell her boyfriend was.
Then of course, I started to show that I’m on her side.
“How could he?”
“You don’t deserve to be treated like that..”
Somethingggg like that.
And then, to my amazement, she would start defending him, and smoothen up her opinion about him, and gave me the clue that his boyfriend was not that bad (despite what the horror stories she told me a minute earlier), and that maybe she was exaggerating.
I don’t know how much truth was in her story, from outside, her boyfriend looked fine and they looked cool, but what do I know? When people got close together, all the ugliness and real characters came out and it’s something outsiders couldn’t see.
But if he made her that unhappy, why didn’t she tell him and why did she endure it? What is the point of unhappy relationship?
But I guess, it’s complicated. woman tends to fall into the comfort zone when they are in relationship, especially if they pass ‘year’-s.
I’ve seen many type of relationship where the girl endures the unhappiness but never have the will to talk heart to heart to her couple. Some might be exaggerating, but more are genuine. The most common problem is that the women feel that their men are not the same, don’t appreciate them the same, don’t treat them the same, don’t cherish them anymore, and because they think they have been mistreated in front of friends.
Of course, one should expect the possibility decline in amount of affections after the relationship has moved to a steadier part, but it doesn’t mean that it changes 120 degree.
The problems are not those simple teenager’s problem, the women are disappointed, when the men start to break his promise, start to put everything before her, while during courting, they would call at least once every three days, but when they are together, he doesn’t even call when she needs him the most.
Or, the most cases, men ignore their women once they are in the group of friends and enjoy himself. It sounds simple, but it happens so often. The women feel ignored, mistreated, and the worst, jealously. It really isn’t as immature as it sounds, indeed, it’s a complicated, one thing lead to another, and it builds up.
Because it sounds immature, the women don’t have the will to talk to their couple about their feelings, and when it builds, the relationship sours and the disappointment trigger another and another problems.
Or for those who talks, but the problem persists.
So I could only be silent and ready to listen.
They tend to have the idea to end the relationship, but hardly, they have courage to really do it. Most feel insecure, as they had fallen into the comfort zone, and they are not ready to leave, to be alone again, denial, and most, most of the reason, Other than these problems, he actually is a very good boyfriend.
But you are unhappy.
And it happens and happens again.
And you don’t want to talk and try to solve your problem.
Or you talk, but there is no solution.
Alas,
The poor guy maybe doesn’t even know what he did wrong.
Or he really has changed his heart out of his conscience and really treats you the way he feel.
But give him a chance to know, regardless how harsh, I guess everyone have to be honest about their feelings if they want the relationship to last, happily. Easier said than done.
And give yourself another try to understand him better though, to give in, to be in his shoes.
Try, try, but maybe there is time to give up if you sacrifice your own happiness way too much.
When nothing works out, maybe it helps to realize that maybe none of you are wrong, but you are just made from different way of thinking.
The discourage to be alone again is indeed a very sad thing. My friend endured whatever treatment her boyfriend did to her just because she tried to defend her relationship, whereas what her boyfriend wanted was just to break her up.
Or my guy friend endures his girlfriend’s unfaithfulness time and again, for, also, to defend the thin-glassed relationship.
Unworthy? Maybe. But not for them.
“I feel better now after sharing. I’m sure everything would be better.”
Then she cried.
___________________________________________________________________________________
When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies.
- William Shakespeare
Perhaps it was right to dissemble your love.
But – Why did you kick me downstairs?
- John Phillip Kemble
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies,
When love is done.
- Francis William Bourdillion
Silence in love betrays more woe
Than words, though ne’er so witty!
- Sir Walter Raleigh
Life is a glorious circle of song,
A medley of extemporania,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Rumania.
- Dorothy Rothchild Parker
