Yah, it has been so long since I write without any purpose, ex.journal.
Reason being, I don't have time to idle in my work, not the kind of idleness that I can dedicate my thought to write something. At home, there are always something better to do, even if that means drop dead on the bed just to relax all the strain muscles and to be fair, fats.
I have bit and pieces of thought that I write in the bus, but it needs work to edit it also. Excuses..excuses...
Anyway, okay, to celebrate my third day being completely alone in office, I'll write something.
Yah, if you are aware about the chronological of my messy life, I've just gone to trip my three monkeys from my department. Afterwards, they are not working. Repeat, they are not working. Either going for another overseas trip, MC or courses. These three days I'm completely alone. Yah, it's quiet, but quite shiokkk (Sgp term for asyyyiiiik) that I can sit anyhow I want, or pick my nose or sing (without voice, my department is empty, not other department, I'm not ready to be shot with anasthetic bullet for elephant yet).
I had this offer since sometimes ago to go home with a colleague from different department. She drives, and stays just opposite my block. Long time ago, I declined because I didn't know her well, I would never want to trouble someone especially if I don't know them well. I'm painstakingly phai seh (uh oh..term for gak enakan ;p). She doesn't drive every day and there was one period of time she doesn't drive at all. Anyway, recently, she drives again and offers me to join her, together with other collagues. All those who stay nearby who happened to be inside the loop are all young girls. Well, they are younger than me, but they thought I'm their age.. ;p, until up to the time they can't figure out how come the whole time I am in Singapore I'm already working (I'm here for 8 years.. if they thought I'm their age, that means I come to singapore with high school certificate only..anyway..that gives way. Before they 're really confused, I told them how bloody old I am, I don't hide ages).
It also happens that they all belong to the category of more girly girls.
Last week, I agreed to accept this colleague's kindness and joined her car. It's nice to have friends outside department, as in more than work related. It's just that, I feel a bit like an alien and didn't know how to really fit into girly girl friends loop.
I couldn't really get all gigly and being nice to each other, and if you are aware, females are created as supportive. Regardless how screw up you are, some friends would offer you words of encouragement and actually tell you that you're/it's not that bad. Or be happy for what you do/achieve. Although behind might not be the same with in front, majority of 'normal' female won't tell you off on the face.
I'm not so normal in this, and I happen to be friends with other not so 'normal' females, so this is not a social skill that I have, also normal female tend to get so excited in something not so exciting just because they are being nice.
To sum it all, I felt awkward, maybe because I actually not very close to them. I enjoy conversations with them, as they are fun and friendly, but I can't help feeling that I don't really fit into their girl circle? Anyway, another invitation comes, although I have valid excuse, I can't say I'm not relieved.
Ah well, many friends like to joke that except physical appearance, I'm not really belong to my gender. I always take it as a joke, but after hearing it coming from four, five, six different guys who don't even know each other (hence no conspiracy here) should it got me worried?
Nah... at least some of them explain to me that it's because I'm fun to be with...
sort of "brother-brother"...
so it's okay..
right?
brother?
uh...
wait a minute... !
....
P.S: In order to get going, there is no grammar, typo, proofread or spellcheck etc...it's freshly typed here.
So don't blame me if it doesn't read well, I hope it's quite alright..
