There are good days and there are crappy days in my year of 2009.
Is it a life changing year for me? Maybe, maybe not.
I hatched big dreams, but I'm still nowhere near.
I worked hard, but I'm still nowhere near.
I made good friends, casuals and few good friends, definately worth mentioning.
I had a two weeks eye-opening trip near my hometown, in remote islands of East Kalimantan, and spent two weeks living in basic and simple life. How I love it?
Yes, I love the simple life, I love that the biggest worries that they have is the rumour of scary encounter with something supernatural. Yah, I was in remote village, it was scary to be awake through the night after I heard the story. But I meant, if that is their biggest fear and worries, they don't know how lucky they are.
Windy afternoon, when there nothing to do, they just plunged to the sea, swimming, playing, enjoying the sun or rowing a wooden boat out to the wider hugs of the blue.
Or sleeping on the wooden deck overlooking the sky.
Yah, it's so nice and peaceful. I'd love to be able to do that.. but would I?
Maybe, maybe not. I think nature brings the best of me, and peaceful life is my goal.. However at this stage, I might not be wise enough to do so, I am still too attached, I am too complicated.
Sometimes I take thing easily, laugh them off and drop it to the sea.. Other times, I learn more that life is indeed sooo complicated that it exhausts me. Everyday, I'm learning new things, I'm experiencing new things and it never fails to surprise me how everything can happens. I even find surprises in myself, about what I am capable to feel or to do.
Ah well...
Perhaps this 2009, who comes and goes like lightning speed, had either been too kind or not too kind to me. (Or maybe because I feel melancholic now in rainy cold day with the nice but sad tinkling of Silent Night-David Lanz stuffing both my ears to conceal the sound of the world --> who says I'm not romantic, Rewind again).
I wish the coming year will be easier for everyone, more hopeful and more beautiful, less war, less misery, less hunger, less disseases, less sadness, less sorrow, more love, more wisdom, more simple and everyone got to fulfill what they want to fulfill, livelong dream or childhood desire or a simple nice hot chocolate for the souls. Hm.. the music really screws my mood.
And I wish that if 2012 really be the end of the world, I got to know about it. There are 1001 things I want to do before I die. I don't afraid of dying, I just hope that I got to do what I should do before that, doesn't everyone?
Oh crap.,
Merry Christmas!
Isn't one of my favorite Christmas song always relevant?
No more lives torn apart
the wars would never start
and time would heal all hearts
every man would have a friend
the right would always win
and love would never end...
what is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth..
.
