When I was in primary school, with a group of friends, we used to share a dream. Since we were very close friends and often hung out together, we figured how nice it would be if all of us become neighbors.
I’ll be next to you. You’ll be next to her, and so on..
When I grow up I want to be a doctor. I’ll be teacher. I’ll be astronaut. So we can help to complete the neighborhood… we share things and walk our dogs together…
Obviously, it doesn’t happen. When we continue our education, we split up. We met new friends, stayed in new places, grew older and the dream changed…
But my next retirement uhmm..maybe not retirement, but future plan was to buy a plot of land in New Zealand, grow many horses and dogs, have tree house, have beautiful garden with beautiful lakes, overlooking to blue sky everywhere.
The dream changes again,
my current one was to live in seaside, where I can hear the sound of the wave every minute, with ocean as my swimming pool, where every turtles come under my balcony to lay eggs…. But my backyard remains the same, beautiful garden where I can grow horses and dogs. Mhahaha…
It’s not impossible, I have been there once. There was a place called Altamar in Philippine. The small resort occupied almost an island, when white sandy beach with all sort of seashells can be found. There are palms and coconut trees grow there, where they tie hammocks and swings for the best nap I had ever had. Boats are parked just like that at the seashore. Walking in directly to the water, or just take a few minutes boat rides, we could dip into the beautiful underwater paradise. Simple and modest huts are built not far away. When we walked deeper, there are slightly hilly areas, where the big house is located. It has 360 degree view, balconies, windows and rooms with beautiful natural decorations. There are decks where we could sit and there are day beds where we could relax and read. In the backyard are the huge endless field of green grass and tree with horses, ducks, chickens, monkey but too bad they didn’t have dogs and tree house. When night comes, the moon would crawl out and shine the sea, frogs and crickets would sing the lullaby.
There are no turtles coming in at night, but the place was close enough.
Dreams. How nice.
But could it be that dreams are just dreams?
I respect what older people told me, as long as they make sense. Anyway, I admire them because they have been surviving in this world, went through so many things, stand tall and mourn so many deaths, who witness all the ugliness of human being. I believe they must be very strong and obviously they know more.
In my new work place, my colleagues are much older than me. There is one who has some similarities with me; we love natures, taking photograph of wild lives, and interested art and crafts. One day we talked about retirement plan. Well, she actually has reached the age, and I learn one big thing from her.
She told me, whatever retirement ideas people are planning, it might change and it might never be come true.
Well, I’m not a really planning person. Actually I have never planned anything further than few months. I planned my whole marriage in less than ¾ of year. I didn’t plan to have boyfriend or husband before it happened..mhaha…my mind was blank and I just lived as days went by.
Now, I guess I’m better planner. At least I think ahead, although not so much that it hardly exceed few month in the future. I have my dreams but it’s just something I put as a goal one day. Working through it, haven’t really started yet. The most consistent things I have planned are holidays, travelling…
When she told me that she used to love travelling, but now she doesn’t like it anymore. I kind of don’t believe that. At least at that moment I couldn’t think of a reason why it would happen to me. I think I would always like to go places, to experience different cultures and see different people and natural wonders. But then, as a suggestion from someone else, maybe travelling is not appealing to her because she doesn’t have her travelling companions anymore.
Things might be nice, sky might be bright out there, air might be fresher, but it’s right, completely right, if I have to enjoy it alone, it would be lonely, it would be sour when I don’t have someone or people around where I can share the wonderful things I see along the way.
I guess I will still like travelling as a solitary time. But maybe, maybe, things will never be the same.
It also happens to her retirement plan, which is almost similar to mine. To stay in beautiful places, near the sea, near the nature, but with her friends only. They are half way there, the place is even already exists, but everything changes, even if she doesn’t, her friends do. And there goes the plan; it’s as easy as that.
So what I learn from that.. maybe not much different from what I’ve already known. But nevertheless, everything becomes more real, that reality exists and sucks sometimes…
I guess…I just guess…it still alright to be a mere monthly planner.,
And it’s still alright to have lifelong dream..
And it’s still alright to hold on to reality..
Because we might never have it all, yet we might have it all…
_________________________________________________________________Things are not what they seem; nor are they otherwise.
- Shurangama Sutra (700 BC)
Rather than continuing to seek the truth, simply let go of your views.
- The Bussha (563-483 BC)
A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read.
- The Talmud
The only certainty is that there is nothing certain.
- Pliny The Elder, Rome
