Times and again, it is surprising to see what guys perception of girls. Eventhough it’s not typical, but from friends and relative and others, there are some truths that guys might use to deal with ordinary girls, and there are a lot of ordinary girls out there. More than half of my friends are, some are not, some are even more ordinary. Unless you don’t believe me. Warning: It doesn’t work with all girls, but I think it works with more girls than you ever thought it would.
#1. Money is not (really) important.
This one is the most argued statement and most guys will jump on their seats. What? Then how do you explain all the suffering that we had gone through to win a girl’s heart? Sell kidney, cut toes to claim insurance to buy her stuff that she will proudly use or won’t throw away?
True. Go sell your kidney.
But the other truth is, there are a lot of girls who are not impressed with money, especially if the money is not belong to the suitor, aka daddy wealth etc. So flaunting a Ferrari or spending dad’s money only gets us pissed.
Impression: this bugger is unappreciative, dependent and proud of it. Logically, who will like this type of person? Genuinely?
Things would be different if the wealth is his own. He earns it, he has it. But mostly, guys who work up from bottom know how hard it could be and tend to be more down-to-earth and low profile. That is good. Even better if he doesn’t use it to woo a girl.
But if not belong to the two categories, girls still like hardworking ‘poorer’ guys, if not more. There is a will, there is a spirit, he gets out there and tries to support his family. It proves more.
Good and happy moment is not what money can buy.
Imagine the movie scene of dressing up, watch opera in another country, meal in another country and big diamond as a date gift, then cruise date.
It might be a dream date for some, but not necessary is. It’s like wearing a tight dress and there is no way to escape or breathe properly.
How about strolling in the beach or park with the guy who makes you laugh and feel comfortable..?
It’s personal, romantic, fun and the girl got all the attention undivided. Well?
#2. Singing in the balcony is not a really good idea.
For old movies, that is what romantic is. Showing unlimited affections in the public or sending bed of roses.
Showing affections is good, but overdoing it can works in reverse.
Most one can do is run, and fast, and wear a mask if have too.
Not too much, we want to feel special but not centre of gossip and mockery, especially when the affections are short-lived aka during the very first love blooming session only.
What happen to your bed of roses/balcony singer guy?
Oh. He passed through that phase and now just fart at home and pick me up two hours late if he remembers at all.
With fresh roses?
Nahhhh. Stinking breath.
So if it’s not you, don’t be it to impress a girl. Girls are demanding. While guys thought wooing time is the time they do their best, girls will hope that the best is the one they will keep getting. So, when the standard drops, they start to question your love.
So, better present what is real, be yourself. (If you don’t have the quality of ‘be yourself’, don’t blame me if it’s not working ;p).
Don’t over do but keep the standard. Genuine is the word.
#3. We need security
Nothing, nothing can underestimate this factor. Almost all girlfriends who look for my listening ears when they have sour relationship, this factor came up.
It’s not really the way the guy look at girl’s boob on the street, or on the teve or on the magazine, it’s not the way a guy turns his head to see beautiful women and sprains their neck. Most of girls are okay with that. Girls appreciate other’s beauty too.
But when a guy starts to show less interest, showing up later and later from the plan, forgotten about her in the group, and shows less and less appreciation to their relationship, most girls will question that and feel insecure. Who wouldn’t? It’s the dose that different. It sucks when a guy being all appreciative to woo you and then wear off as time goes by, how can you look into future if he keeps it up? Remember no #2. But above anything, non appreciative is the key for trouble to every relationship. Every. Even family and friends. Just because what you have, don’t forget to be grateful and treasure it. Human feeling is too fragile, nobody knows how many shots one can take, and even if someone can take multiple shots, the scars are there.
Insecurity is such a big factor that can drive people insane for every aspect of life. It takes away the fun of adventure, the peace of rest, the mind over body, and the logic over fear.
Don’t interpret this as calling to your girlfriend 3-4 times a day, showing up every where she is and celebrate every little things you can think of. It doesn’t work that extreme, it will kill the guy and even the girl off very fast, suffocated.
Some things will wear off the longer the relationship is, but main thing, it simply means that one have to be respectful, appreciative in relationship and never take it for granted.
But this is not easy at all.
#4. We hate fake gentleman or ungentleman.
Women are traditional creature. Regardless how bitchy and feminist we could be ;p (except a very extreme one) we still like to be treated as woman. It’s nice when we go out with a guy and they sort of protect and take care of you. From very simple thing like protecting you from the rain, putting himself on the side of the road where the car come first, offering you helping hand for some obstruction like steps, holes (honestly, we can do it. We are built almost the same and we won’t die jumping over small hole or climb some height), but it’s a very nice gesture and believe it or not, it sends us thinking of the guy higher.
We also like it when a guy takes charge. Waiving for cab, initiate to order food, make decisions and think about our safety in small or extreme way. For example, escorting you away from danger first before engaging to fight with another guy over you. Mhaha…But take note, no girls except blood thirsty one likes to see her guy or friend got beaten up or involve in anything violence, unless you are superhero who can kick ass without being hurt. Intelligent self control and cool is highly appreciated, together with logic and wisdom. Ce e lah…
These small protective and gentleman quality always win some soft spots, but warning: It has to be genuine, it really has to be genuine. We are watchful and really respect those move that goes under the radar, because it could be so genuine that the guy didn’t realize he is doing something really good. For example, pouring rain, one umbrella, classic scenario. You get to destination safe and sound, and dry. Only when you notice the guy is half drenched like a rat inside the gutter. Winning point: He takes good care of you without thinking of himself and he respects the personal distance (so he was out of the diameter of the umbrella just to avoid you being uncomfortable for getting too close). Aww…. It works the other way around with opportunist who take the chance to cuddle all over you without seeing the killing signal. Don’t share umbrella, and if you already did, kick his nuts.
The top of all and priceless is when a guy gives up something very important just to be there for you when you need him. This can’t be fake and it proves a lot. A loooot. This is kind of guy one who has the quality to be the companion of life. :")
Speaking of fake, fake gentlemen is the worst when they get caught. It’s like they treat us good, nice, and all of the qualities of making us feel impressed, flattered and protected then when we turn around, he bangs a door in front of old lady or someone else who he doesn’t have a purpose with. Or he is only good with those good looking ones. This kind is a branded male chauvinist pig that we don’t want to get involved seriously. He only treats us good when he wants us or something from us, the moment we don’t fit into the category, that is the moment he will turn his back or slam the door across our fore heads.
Point is: being fake doesn't work for long term.
This is far most a very important if not the most important point. It can hide ugly faces and other defect. Genuine smiles and gentleman deeds are really attractive.
So, for the lengthy post.
Indeed, because everytime I only have a chance to write half a point only. The post has been hanging around forever, better get it posted. When I finish, I don’t even know whether this is the topic I intend to write on the first place, and I’m sure I miss a lot of things, but the key important things are there.
Sorry for girls who don’t feel represented as ‘we’. Everybody is different, nobody is identical. Screw you, write you own. Ha…joking…
For the guys, we are not that complicated. Okay..we are.. our brain is clogged with tangled nerves and we think too much for too many little things. We can’t help it, we don’t have moustache to worry about.
But I dare to say, we are complicated in simple way, it is actually quite easy to read once you get the pattern. Hm?
Above all, these are good base but of course there other important factors, without chemistry it won't work, also, different personality attraction affect different people.
Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
- Oscar Wilde
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
- Albert Einstein
Men need rule books. Women want men to intuit what they want. And only about 2% of men can do that, and most of them are not heterosexual.
- Dennis Prager
;p
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