For years, I have faced the annoying rhythm of relatives and friends who question me or whoever victims they can find about having kids or getting married. Yah, here we go again! I wonder too! I do appreciate those who come with genuine concerns, but for those who do it for the sake of conversation, hmm, tell you what,… it’s damn boring and annoying. There are thousands and one conversation starters, and if you don’t have one, keep quiet. Shut up. Hide. Get lost. Both parties will appreciate it. Okay, maybe I have complained about this way too much in my stories, because lately I have another attack, which made me kind of pissed in another level. I hardly have extreme attacks, while some of my friends who chose not to have kids yet have face accusation of being infertile. Some who are unmarried has been thought as gay, some who chose different way of making a living have been called nuts. Compare to my story, I think they had it worse although I rate mine very offensive as well. Imagine this; I attend a wedding of a good friend. Starting of as hubby’s good friend, so I didn’t know any of his family members, except very short introductory accidental meetings long long time ago. Wedding is not my favorite occasion, beside needing to dress up, I think, sorry, wedding is the place full of insincere exchange of talks because of ‘long time no see’ ‘Hey you’ type of conversations, although it’s a good place to meet long lost relatives or friends. I usually prepare for the ‘attack’ in my family’s wedding, although most people know that I would not hesitate to ignore anyone whom I deem fit to be ignored. Anyway, out of nowhere, I got the pressure of the whole family of the groom, pestering me to have babies soon in I’d say, in very very uncomfortable way. Let’s not go into details. What the – Who are -.. Who the – What right do you— Honestly, I was pissed to my core, I still am. I think I should just sit back and see that this is what society is and why this and similar things keep happening. What is up with getting married, have kids, get this job, that job, do this, do that, because it’s ‘right’? They might have done it, find it wonderful, living in beautiful castle and trying to spread the magic. I understand that. They have their point of view, fair enough. However, one thing they forget, I’m not them. They are not me. Just because what they perceived is right for them, just because ‘been there done that’ doesn’t make me have their eyes or wear their shoes. I don’t know how many times I have the temptation to be rude and question them seriously. Really. But then again, something would never change. I always avoid debating with people whom I think would not understand something different, once the earth is flat, is flat. No point wasting time and breath. It will frustrate me and hurt others, if my mood is right; I’m capable of saying the worst thing to anyone. And I have been working on it my whole life to prevent it from happening unnecessarily. So what I do I normally just brush it away, or just give freaking standard answer. I hardly chose the later because it seems like it works as the fuel to go on and on. If I can force them to sit and probably gag them not to speak, I want to ask How well do you know me? Do you know me? Know my name, my job, be my friends don’t necessary put anyone in position to say that they know me. Do you know exactly what I think about this/that thing you are talking about? Do you know my passions, my fears, my anticipations, my principles, the way I lead my life, my struggling, my temptations, my feelings, my heart, my mind, my brain, my aspirations, my way of looking at creating a human being, my way of looking at blooming flower, starving kids, animal on the street, wrinkles on faces? Why is it you need to know me that well? Because you are trying to shove the important part of life into my throat just like that! Now you regret making ‘small’ talk? How on earth you decide or suggest what is best for me based on something you pick from what is happening on daily basis and shove it to my face and being judgmental about it? I don’t shove my principles to you. I don’t care how you live your life. I wish you happiness, depends on how happiness means to you. I accept you for being different person or having different thinking. Don’t make rules, just because that’s what most people do, doesn’t make it rule. Don’t be judgmental, you don’t know what I face or what I think. I appreciate what you think is right. Now, can you appreciate my thought? Even if I don’t tell you? How hard it is not to put your hands and words inside people life, just for the sake of passing by, is it the impression you want me to remember you? If not, BACK OFF. . |
