Are you afraid of death?
My friend once asked this question. To this, I answered undoubtfully, nahh…
To my surprises, there are quite a number of friends answered yes. Not afraid of the process of the suffering leading to it, but afraid to lose everything, and again, uncommon, not to material, wealth or physical existence but afraid of losing what they had gained all their life; knowledge, memories, experiences.
To me, I never think that far. I’m not afraid because once I kaput, that’s it, that’s all, shouldn’t be a burden to me at all. From a very little time I spent thinking about it, I thought if I kaput, it would be mostly by accident. Don’t know why I thought so, perhaps of my true desire to be able to enjoy life until the end. I don’t want to be weakened or driven down by sickness or to count my days off when I know it would be, I hope not.
Somehow, to put aside all the choooooi of thinking about it, maybe I would prefer if it happens when I do something that I love. Nothing to extreme, at least maybe I would have been more prepared. Maybe.
Not long ago, I never took a second look of something called insurance. Blah blah blah.., that is my impression. A talkative unstoppable annoying fellow trying to talk you into buying something that you don’t need. I’m still right about it, although I detour my impression a little bit. The agent I have now has become one of my friend, seems like not all of them are annoying, and if there are some, they are doing it for the sake of work. No harm, as long as they don’t hard sell or force sell to people who are not able to defend themselves, like senior citizens. Really, sometimes, they are far too nice and can’t persistently say no. I curse all time-share company in this world because at least on two different occasions, they tried to harass my parents. Hard selling shouldn’t exists in any strategic marketing plan at all, it undignified and low. I have learned how to piss these people back, but for many others, it can simply ruin their day or separate them from their hard-earned money outside their willingness. Damn hard-sell. Drop dead.
Back to subject, insurance is maybe not something that I always need. It’s also for something your loved-ones might need. But that depends on what kind. For those claimable after death, it’s obvious. But I have come to realize that I do need those like hospitalization, partial accident and even diving accident insurance to ease the burden of cost in case something unwanted occurs.
For almost every trip that I take, I always buy travel insurance. Putting aside my important datas to be discovered and emergency contact if needed. We even put our DAN tag on our BCDs, those who know, knows.
Kaput, I think I’m still not afraid of my own, but selfishthetically (yes this is not a word) speaking, I fear more for others. Forever, since young, I always afraid. If in car or plane with someone I care about, I can’t even sleep in peace unless I knock myself with pills. I’m almost always scared, always afraid, when I drift into sleep I would always wake up feeling that the car or plane hit something or drop from mid air. Selfishthetically, because, if I’m alone, even if the plane was rocking or the car was swerving, I might not be as scared.
I fear for others safety because I’m damn selfish, I admit. I afraid if I lose them, the suffering of remembering, the memories, the experience, the knowledge of them.
So I think I can relate to what my friend said about fearing of death, in much much more selfish way.
- It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done easily as lying down.
- Woody Allen
The one who goes is happier,
Than those he leaves behind.
- Edward Pollock
