Breaking up and broken hearted is never easy.
One of my friends is trying to avoid or prepare for that. But I guess one can never be prepared if they care about the relationship and the other person.
As a friend, I suppose to offer words of comfort, encouragement and approval. I can do the first two, but for the third one I can’t.
When a person shares the story about their relationship, they are looking at it from ONE perspective. He was confused about why she changes so sudden, why she treats him that way and why women are so mean. Nobody can judge what and who is right or wrong because nobody is in the same shoes with the couple. I’m not him, I’m not her. But perhaps I can also give them another point of view, something a sad person can’t see, something I might be able to share.
My friend is a cheerful person, but these two months he has been a skywatcher. Quiet, sad and instead of disturbing me watching the sky he joined me. That is unusual, that is like I suddenly fond to watch people throwing up.
The problem he has in his relationship is coincidentally similar with mine in the past. Actually, many many relationships have similar problem like this. The difference is I’m on the other side of the fence. It’s not easy to tell a friend, to play devil’s advocate that I’ve been in similar position with a person on the edge of his hatred. But I guess as a real friend, I’m not there only to agree with his point of view if I can offer some other reasons that he might need but not able to see. He’ll be the one who decides.
But, thank God, good men are from Mars, they are more reasonable and objective (I don’t read the book, I think that’s what the book is talking about?!). So he can see my points really well and can connect to it good. What matter is, it probably can gives him some way to band-aid the relationship, remedy or if everything else fails, hopefully it can be something to take note in the future.
Maybe the most difficult things in the world for a human to handle is relationship. It can make or break a person, it can leave everlasting scar, it can put smile on your face, it can be strong, it can be fragile, it has to withstand enormous amount of doubts, jealousy, uncertainty, temptations and challenges.
But still many people gamble and willing to suffer for that.
So it should be something worth it.
.
Love is the wisdom of the fools and the folly of the wise.
- Samuel Johnson
Quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side.
- Francois, Duc De La Rochefoucauld
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.
- The Talmud
We live in feelings, not in figures on a sundial. We should count time in heartbeats.
- Aristotle
Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods.
- Plato
No man is born hating another person.. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
- Nelson Mandela
