Back then, I used to make New Year Resolution. Two times, the most, if that’s still count as ‘used to’. Because I’ve never actually fulfill it, or even looked at it, I pissed off and quitted lah! (It’s Singlish I don’t want to adopt, but after hearing and speaking and even reading about Singlish, some sentences do feel more appropriate with lah etc. Kekekeke).
So, I’d be grateful instead. I’ve led good life, maybe I’m stuck into something routine already, many times I questioned myself, why on earth I’m not as adventurous as I want to be? Sometimes I feel bored too, but actually, boring life is good life. Can you disagree with that? Boring life, in normal term, means that your life is good; we don’t have adrenalin rush of something bad happens or things like not having enough money to buy food, ‘being fired’ because you lose it with the boss etc ‘, so I’m grateful, very grateful indeed.
Although it feels that long, or too fast, BAM I am ALMOST thirty, please let me say it now that I STILL can, I hope I can recall my last ten years, at least. I have limited memory now.
1996.
Er.
Oh, maybe my highlight of this year was to join Kapa and met many new friends, friends that I liked to be with because they had seen me high and low, the shower-free and the over-done of me. I gained many good new friends and enjoyed great activities. I even went rock climbing with somebody from Boedoet. Who doesn’t know that school? They have their graffiti everywhere.
That time, everything; Endurance? Wet? Crazy? Bring it on. My body regenerated every few days and no back pain could stop me. Aha! Good ol’ days.
1997.
- And I went for quite an unforgettable journey with my Mom to visit my Dad in the middle of Borneo juggle. Before that, we stayed for a few days in hotel, my home town, and hung out with my lifelong friend. Some Satpam jerk thought we were some kind of ‘happy’ girls, because we rode motorbike and went in and out hotel. Lost my temper, lucky my peaceful friend was more sensible. I was ready to punch some nose, capable or not, I couldn’t think.
Be a co-pilot. : ) of an eight-seater plane.
Stayed in crazy house. It was a company house, the one my Dad stayed. But it was creepy, creepiest house of my lifetime. Picture these;
Mosaic and blood-maroon exterior (those mosaic Chinese like to use for tomb) with two gigantic statues. Blood maroon interior, funny smell and various dried animals hanging here and there.
House was multilevel; it had with two dark empty rooms facing living and bathroom.
Bathroom came with water tub that I couldn’t see the bottom of it.
Upper floor and bedroom with no false ceiling, we actually had to sleep with bats hanging up there, red mouthed with their fangs and tiny eyes. Some very friendly ones flew down to my pillow during midnight. I didn’t actually feel uncomfortable sleeping under the bats colony, but the dark room disturbed me more, couldn’t look at it and wouldn’t sit in front of it. After us, the family who stayed there found their daughter passed away one day sitting in the living room with eyes open looking at the dark room.
Huaah!
We were glad we forced my Dad to move out.
- Went to the gigantic Borneo jungle to see Orang Utan (hihihi) up close and personal, while surviving Malaria (?), nobody knew and I was too clueless to tell what I was having, what’s that, red spot, extreme cold and fever? I thought Oh, it’s the weather.
Being few meters away from the huge floating black crocodiles, but they were sleeping, at least, that’s what we thought. The local said, Crocodileee on the left… as casual as Kondektur said Tukang Sayur di kiri…
Anyway, they won’t eat anybody unless you fall into the water, which is unlikely because the boat side was high (half a meter, blink blink).
1998.
- If I got it right. It was the first time I came to Sinciapo. I was impressed to be somewhere foreign, but I was impressed more with the rudeness of the people that time too, and the language. My positive memory was with the MRT system, of course, compared with the one I used to take Depok-Kota. Here, we don’t need to take care of ourselves.
Unless you are super careless, there is almost no possibility for you to fall between the carriages, or position yourself in the middle of the track while the train is approaching (We actually did it for the sake of not missing the next train, few minutes away or just to be able to cross the track to reach to the opposite road (Is it Indonesian braveness, independence or stupidity? I also don’t know : ). Sometimes I just can’t help to think whether my Singaporean friends can survive riding the Jabotabek, infamous train in Indonesia or even my sworn-with-car-since-young Indonesian friends), or went back to retrieve the slipper caught in the middle of the track. (It was early Monday morning, had gone two hours worth of journey from home to hostel, only to realize that I wore Dad’s slipper when it fell from my feet while I was crossing the train track. Stu- Stu- Stu-))
- Riot in Indonesia.
I just can’t forget the way my friends made fun of the TV footage showing the looting came together with the riot. Maybe I could see the horror they had yet to see because I was super worried about my family, house and shop at home. But we were extremely lucky, except the material lost; nothing matters more than life and dignity. But to put it dramatically, I never look at human being the same way again, I came to know what they are capable of, I guess, Chinese in Indonesia also never look at life in there the same way again. It’s the scar nobody ever able to cure.
The irony is, somehow I could understand the so-called motivation, jealousy maybe in extreme way, and the lack of wisdom as the most dangerous fuel. Pasca riot, when I looked at those looters, one image, a woman with a child on her lap, sitting on the road pavement, selling her ‘catch’ on a piece of plastic sheet. I was mesmerized to see how ordinary she was, but at one moment, she turned into a beast, she might break something, she stole, she might slit a throat, she might scream murderous words. What drove her? Poverty? Jealousy? Or simply being provoked? Lack of wisdom? Or, at the peak of some anger, lack of brain? Stupidity? The thirst of blood?
Not a better thing, I saw the new hate and anger from the riot victims, I heard them cursing, crying, mourning, which was something every person with sense would do, but the dangerous thing was, they aimed their hate and anger to particular race and religion group, which is something…similar.
Somehow, in my own world of thinking, I guess our creator never suspect that when he made us with variety, with different skin and hair colors, could result to endless stupidity and conflict that lasts forever. But again, I guess, even if we all look the same, we will still find something different we can argue and kill for.
I suspect we were created with too much brain, if not, we could just run around naked, live in the burrow, mate twice a year, and kill only when we were hungry, at least, hungry for food is the better reason? Huh?
1998 was a scary year, but no year is bad as long as I still have my family together.
1999.
Final year at the University. Busy but memorable. Staying at the University, fought through the nights to finish the final assignment. Sleeping bags, pajama, emergency pantry and ‘bedroom’, our thoughtful Korean friend who brought supper for us and smoke-ridden computer to help us finish the year.
Had Christmas miracle where I actually got better GPA than what I was thought (apparently I just miscalculated). If I had known I would miss the suffering moment during the sleepless night, I would appreciate it more. But I did appreciate it, I did celebrate it. It’s tiring, crazy, exhausting, stressful, but we had same reasons to laugh.
Damn new generations who use computer for everything, you don’t know the fun you miss of making a simple mistake can cost you.
2000.
- Graduation!
Maybe it’s the first and the last time I wore those Kebaya, the traditional Indonesia clothing. You need to wear a layer of don’t know what, then sarong and the flowery external blouse. The good thing is, you don’t need stocking for that! The bad thing for me was, during midday, on the way to family photo shoot, the inner layer made me itch like crazy, it was like bitten by the mosquito on the palm, itchy but you can’t do anything, and a kilogram makeup on the face looked terrible under sunlight. I looked at my friends, who were all dressed the same, and saw the brick colored face and heavy eyelashes and purple eye contour, I was terrified and all the more, I looked the same too. But at least I was lucky enough to use my own hair for the hairstyle, rather than those who had to use the big ball of heavy wig. Freaky. But it was once in the lifetime, so okay, one day of suffering as a closure for four and a half years of memorable…youth? Mhehehe.
- Move to Batam
Although I had many considerations, from the beginning, it was a GO. I always had a feeling that I would work somewhere far away and I had that chance.
It was a blast, meeting new people, new place, a job. I guess, young spirit beats it all, I was eager and fearless to try everything. Although the negativity from friends around affected me, I had never actually feeling down or gave up, never entertained the thought of going back to Jakarta, no matter how hard the life was. I thought if I went back, I’d be taking a step backward, although it shouldn’t be that way. I’m glad I made that decision. To be honest, it was fun, although miserable, I was happy. There are not many opportunity to enjoy our heart out with many great friends with same level of craziness, and to play multiplayer war game with the supervisor, who was and is also a close friend.
- Big brother’s marriage! Strange. We were growing up fast.
I feel comfortable with my sister in-law, maybe in some ways, we are quite alike. I’m glad I don’t need to sweet talk; she is frank, independent and fun to be with. It’s good that all my sister in laws are normal girls. The first sign of abnormal girl, in my point of view, is the one who speak with fake voice, sweeten, soften and manja version. Argh, it’s just too much to bear. That voice only restricted to couple, not public, not friends.
2001.
- It might be the first time I’ve ever thought, How if I gone? What would I regret for not doing? That was because I was having quite an interesting and shitty day during my first job interview here. I had swollen ankle, as a result of failing from staircase (this staircase wouldn’t pass any safety regulation), I spoilt my umbrella (the wind blew it up and broke all the bones), so I had to run with swollen ankle in the heavy rain clutching folders, files and bags, with 20 dollar in my pocket in foreign country, and I had no idea where the interview place was, I only knew it’s across the country from the point I stood. Then when I rode the ferry back to Batam, the storm was very rough and the ferry rocked like crazy. I didn’t think of those stupido ‘near-death’ experience but at that point I made some decision that I shouldn’t delay something for the sake of proper timing of a relationship.
- Got a job here!
During all the paperwork process, we worked freelance with the boss, travel to and fro every weekend, but our life was getting better, we didn’t need to worry about how to make the ends meet and able to spend on better things, shopping (which we hardly do at all) and afforded the flight back to Jakarta for the missing @%$%*# paperwork. My lecturers came as angels to me, I remember many of them did some good effort to advice me and helped me obtain some paperwork from the university.
During the weekends, and a month, we stayed in our boss’s house. He was a great person, it’s quite unimaginable to stay at boss’s house, his wife cooked for us and they treated us like family. Our friend also helped us during the process.
Good to know, nice people are everywhere when you need them.
We officially moved our life here around August.
- 9/11, I guess it was a shock to everyone. It was sad to see crying family of victims in the TV. Words, sms-es, emails were flying around between friends asking about others who live far apart. It was a breakthrough of everything. Every time a thing happen, a revenge almost always follows, for the wrong reason, for the wrong target. That's the limit of human brain.
Educated people or not: Indonesian, American, Australian, British, Chinese, etc, we can always see the ugly and stupid side of everyone in the name of races and religions.
2002.
- The company was falling apart as it expanded too soon. From a great prosperous beginning, it turned to a disaster, with supervisor from hell, I was relieved to go out too.
Got new job, move to another house.
- Bali bombing. It was sad because it was few months apart after our visit. I had never liked Bali from the words I heard, but when I went there, I fell in love with the spirit of freedom and modest people, it reminded me somehow with Jakarta before the riot.
- First time I met my nephew when he was visiting with my brother and wife. He was the cutest, the liveliest and smartest kid for his age, 6 months, it was very very fun to have him in the house. At least, he didn’t afraid of me, which I thought most kids would.
2003.
Busy, busy, busy year.
- Getting married, officially 3 times. Registration here, Church Ceremony in Batam, and Wedding Party in Jakarta. Busy busy busy. Move to another house and went back again to Jakarta for my younger brother’s wedding. It’s amazing how words can sum up all those things.
- Crazy Sars outbreak. I was actually feeling very scared and helpless at one point of time. So, this is how fragile human being, one day you are able to drop dead just like that. We took all the precaution we could, everyone became a cleaner person and monitoring temperature became a daily must. People were aware of each other health because of the contagious dissease.
2004.
- Went for honeymooning to OZ; Melbourne, Gold Coast and Sidney. It was good to see different country and different lifestyle. Feel in love with the hospitality of the people. They were very friendly and helpful. It was a very enjoyable and best three weeks.
- After postponing it for a year, we finally took Open Water Course, gained great friends along the way; most of them become our regular dive companions until now.
- Tsunami Boxing Day 2004, it was the first time I felt so depressed about something that didn’t affect me directly. The crazy and unimaginable living situation of the survivors disturbed me the most. Lucky, the world was lending a helping hand, too bad; most of the fund went into the wrong people, the most despicable act from people who had the heart to corrupt the food and sanitation money from those struggling with lives. Idiot!
But Kudo to friends who jumped directly into the site to make sure things are delivered to the right hand, and we could have an ease of mind that we didn’t contribute to fatten the heartless pigs.
2005 & 2006, I had my brain backup-ed.
So I had good years, always, hopefully will always. : )
With all the good wish, good hope and good will, let's close this year with big smile and thanks, and:
Happy New Year 2007!
___________________________________________________________
It’s only possible to live happily ever after on day to day basis.
- Margaret Bonnano
People who say that money isn’t everything in life are usually broke.
- Malcolm Forbes
Life is extinct on other planet because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- Anonymous
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
I think that people want peace so much that one of these days the government had better get out of their way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
- Samuel Johnson
A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he’ll fear worse when he feels better.
- Anonymous
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other causes for prejudice by noon.
- George Aiken
I never believe in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
- Dick Gregory
Friday, December 29, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
My Grown Up Christmas List
Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream
So here's my lifeful wish
My grown up Christmas List
Not for myself
But for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List
May kindness rules our lives
Not just the strong survive
Sweet tears for all the thousand years on mind
This is the world I pray
We will all share some way
Help me begin by reaching out my hand
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
Why does this illusion call the innocence of you?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
No...
No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List
This is the prayer that I will keep
This is my grown up Christmas list
Christmas list
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream
So here's my lifeful wish
My grown up Christmas List
Not for myself
But for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List
May kindness rules our lives
Not just the strong survive
Sweet tears for all the thousand years on mind
This is the world I pray
We will all share some way
Help me begin by reaching out my hand
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
Why does this illusion call the innocence of you?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
No...
No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List
This is the prayer that I will keep
This is my grown up Christmas list
Christmas list
Friday, December 15, 2006
Ten Days To Christmas
Kumaha nih, udah tanggal segini masih gak berasa-berasa Natal juga. Benernya dimana-mana udah banyak rame-ramean hiasan Natal, dan di mall maupun di radio udah banyak lagu Natal. Pohon Natal gue yang cekingpun udah mengundara.
Kadang2 kalau lagi lewat di mall dari dan menuju kantor begitu denger lagu Natal biasanya meresap bentar, tapi entah kenapa, gue jadi agak lupa, apa yang yang bikin Natal kayak Natal selaen lagunya?
Mungkin dari dulu gitu-gitu aja kali ya : )
Natal disini., pernah kita lewatin dengan jalan-jalan di Orchard yang penuh dengan orang dari ujung ke ujung. Bagusnya sih banyak choir grup disana-sini dan mereka rata-rata bagus, gak asiknya itu ramenya dengan orang-orang. Tapi rata-rata semua orang heppi, make gelang2an glow in the dark, topi dengan tanduk rusa raksasa atau topi Santa, nyembur-nyemburin busa kalengan dan pita warna warni kemana-mana, kenal maupun gak kenal. Pemborosan sih, tapi sekali-sekali, mungkin jangan terlalu dipikirin, biarpun besoknya harus melihat orang membersihkan jalan seinci demi seinci dari warna-warna yang nempel di pavement. Seminggu kemudian, Tahun Baru, lebih meriah lagi, karena notabene, semua orang merayakan Tahun Baru. Biarpun keramaian pas Natal juga terdiri dari beribu-ribu orang non-Kristen yang ikut merayakan.
Pernah juga kita merayakan Tahun Baru dengan temen-temen nyelam yang baru nemu di tahun pertama kita mulai hobi itu, rame-rame ngumpul di restoran club dekat pantai, dan gue inget banget waktu itu tertarik dengan ide merasakan pergantian tahun didalam air. Untungnya kita belom memenuhi persyaratan buat nyelam malam, jadi kita cuman nonton. Soalnya kacau juga jadinya. Jadi serombongan penyelam (yang bayar buat melakukannya) bawa-bawa papan yang ada tulisan glow in the dark HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005.
Bayangin aja diving di dekat pier dengan, mungkin zero visibility, akhirnya keleng beleng ada yang kelihatannya terpisah dengan groupnya dan pas mereka nongol di ujung lainnya pier, tulisannya tinggal H PY E EAR 2 0 , udah itu nongolnya kecepetan, jadinya mereka ikutan countdown dengan muka udah disurface. Gak berapa lama, keplak keplak cepyak cepyak ada satu manusia kodok laen manjat ke atas pier dengan satu kaki kodoknya ilang dibawah air. Apes. Apes. Finsnya sama persis dengan gue punya, hmm, mungkin bisa gue pake buat cadangan kalo nemu, tapi ogah banget suruh gue nyilem di air butek gitu. Kekeke.
Gue inget pula waktu itu sambil countdown, gak berenti-berenti melihat ke horizon, ngeliat ombak yang lebih gede dari biasanya, karena bagaimanapun, itu cuma beberapa hari dari tsunami Boxing Day. Waktu itu kita juga belom nyadar segitu banyaknya korban jiwa dan kesengsaraan.
Ngomong-ngomong soal kesengsaraan manusia, gue baru kelar habis baca buku berjudul Emergency Sex, karya Kenneth Cain, Heidi Postlewait dan Andrew Thomson. Ketiga-tiganya adalah volunteer dari United Nation dan mereka pernah bertugas di Cambodia, Somalia, Haiti, Rwanda dan beberapa tempat lagi. Dan buku ini adalah jurnal mereka.
Dari situ gue baru tau, seperti apa kehidupan mereka di kancah perang. Dari berleha-leha makan gaji buta dan seks bebas sampai ketika mereka harus berkecimpung diantara mayat-mayat membusuk dan menyaksikan kebrutalan perang. Bukunya jelas, jujur dan banyak menceritakan kenyataan-kenyataan mengerikan yang terjadi pada manusia yang bikin gue, membayangkan aja sulit. Waktu tidur ditengah buku, mau gak mau, gue termimpi-mimpi juga, mengingat, gue memang tukang mimpi.
Herannya buku itu gue gali dari tumpukan Book Sale, yang terbuang dan didiskon habis-habisan. Gue pernah melihat buku tentang topik serupa tapi mereka begitu cepat turun dari display utama sehingga susah buat nyarinya lagi. Waktu milih buku ini aja gue tertarik dengan tulisannya yang lumayan besar dan pacing yang kelihatannya gak berat, maklum, mata udah kecapean ngeliat computer, baca buku inipun eksklusif hanya untuk dirumah, soalnya, judulnya mungkin bikin orang-orang di MRT mengernyitkan muka dan berpikir gue cewek ngebet yang baca buku jorok.
Hoh.
Setelah baca buku itu, gue milih2 buku laen dari rak, tapi mau gak mau gue kepengaruh dan jadi males baca buku fiksi. Karena, fiksi itu ternyata gak segila kenyataan, dan fiksi udah jarang menipu gue, jadi gue baca deh buku yang udah lama gue beli yang gak pernah gue baca karena keriting dan tulisannya kecil-kecil, Schindler’s List. Tahun lalu gue beli VCDnya dan nonton lagi, tapi banyak hal yang ternyata tidak begitu gue mengerti.
Scarlet toddler. Semua pasti ingat kalo pernah nonton filemnya/baca bukunya.
Ngomong-ngomong soal fiksi, gue dibeliin tumpukan, dan gue maksud tumpukan, buku poket Gober bebek. Lebih dari 50 buku dibeliin Asung, si koko gendut yang gak begitu gendut lagi dan dibawain bokap melewati Hang Nadim Batam dan Ferry Singapura. Setelah baca segitu banyak tentang keluarga bebek, banyak juga gue temui kalo mereka kadang-kadang nasty abis. Terutama si Gober pelit, gue sebel ama orang pelit, ceritanya banyak yang lucu tapi ada beberapa pula yang saking pelitnya bikin sebel juga! Di satu cerita, demi mendapatkan jalur kereta, dia bekerjasama dengan Untung dan mereka memfitnah Donal biar masuk penjara. Gila juga kan, buku anak-anak, kok kesennya fitnah wajar-wajar aja. Trus tentang Agus Angsa, yang bener-bener malas, ampe malas yang bikin sebel. Ha. Kebanyakan diserep bacanya kali’.
Anyway, Christmas is coming. I’m feeling it. : )
Yang penting buat Christmas bukan hari H-nya, mungkin juga bukan perayaannya, tapi mungkin, spiritnya?
Btw, gue punya ponakan baru, baru minggu lalu, dan katanya bapaknya udah kurusan tiga kilo. Hehehhehehehe.
____________________________________________________________________________________
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
- Bernard Manning
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
- Patrick Murray
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- Tom Clancy
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!"
- Milton Berle
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
- Phyllis Diller
Kadang2 kalau lagi lewat di mall dari dan menuju kantor begitu denger lagu Natal biasanya meresap bentar, tapi entah kenapa, gue jadi agak lupa, apa yang yang bikin Natal kayak Natal selaen lagunya?
Mungkin dari dulu gitu-gitu aja kali ya : )
Natal disini., pernah kita lewatin dengan jalan-jalan di Orchard yang penuh dengan orang dari ujung ke ujung. Bagusnya sih banyak choir grup disana-sini dan mereka rata-rata bagus, gak asiknya itu ramenya dengan orang-orang. Tapi rata-rata semua orang heppi, make gelang2an glow in the dark, topi dengan tanduk rusa raksasa atau topi Santa, nyembur-nyemburin busa kalengan dan pita warna warni kemana-mana, kenal maupun gak kenal. Pemborosan sih, tapi sekali-sekali, mungkin jangan terlalu dipikirin, biarpun besoknya harus melihat orang membersihkan jalan seinci demi seinci dari warna-warna yang nempel di pavement. Seminggu kemudian, Tahun Baru, lebih meriah lagi, karena notabene, semua orang merayakan Tahun Baru. Biarpun keramaian pas Natal juga terdiri dari beribu-ribu orang non-Kristen yang ikut merayakan.
Pernah juga kita merayakan Tahun Baru dengan temen-temen nyelam yang baru nemu di tahun pertama kita mulai hobi itu, rame-rame ngumpul di restoran club dekat pantai, dan gue inget banget waktu itu tertarik dengan ide merasakan pergantian tahun didalam air. Untungnya kita belom memenuhi persyaratan buat nyelam malam, jadi kita cuman nonton. Soalnya kacau juga jadinya. Jadi serombongan penyelam (yang bayar buat melakukannya) bawa-bawa papan yang ada tulisan glow in the dark HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005.
Bayangin aja diving di dekat pier dengan, mungkin zero visibility, akhirnya keleng beleng ada yang kelihatannya terpisah dengan groupnya dan pas mereka nongol di ujung lainnya pier, tulisannya tinggal H PY E EAR 2 0 , udah itu nongolnya kecepetan, jadinya mereka ikutan countdown dengan muka udah disurface. Gak berapa lama, keplak keplak cepyak cepyak ada satu manusia kodok laen manjat ke atas pier dengan satu kaki kodoknya ilang dibawah air. Apes. Apes. Finsnya sama persis dengan gue punya, hmm, mungkin bisa gue pake buat cadangan kalo nemu, tapi ogah banget suruh gue nyilem di air butek gitu. Kekeke.
Gue inget pula waktu itu sambil countdown, gak berenti-berenti melihat ke horizon, ngeliat ombak yang lebih gede dari biasanya, karena bagaimanapun, itu cuma beberapa hari dari tsunami Boxing Day. Waktu itu kita juga belom nyadar segitu banyaknya korban jiwa dan kesengsaraan.
Ngomong-ngomong soal kesengsaraan manusia, gue baru kelar habis baca buku berjudul Emergency Sex, karya Kenneth Cain, Heidi Postlewait dan Andrew Thomson. Ketiga-tiganya adalah volunteer dari United Nation dan mereka pernah bertugas di Cambodia, Somalia, Haiti, Rwanda dan beberapa tempat lagi. Dan buku ini adalah jurnal mereka.
Dari situ gue baru tau, seperti apa kehidupan mereka di kancah perang. Dari berleha-leha makan gaji buta dan seks bebas sampai ketika mereka harus berkecimpung diantara mayat-mayat membusuk dan menyaksikan kebrutalan perang. Bukunya jelas, jujur dan banyak menceritakan kenyataan-kenyataan mengerikan yang terjadi pada manusia yang bikin gue, membayangkan aja sulit. Waktu tidur ditengah buku, mau gak mau, gue termimpi-mimpi juga, mengingat, gue memang tukang mimpi.
Herannya buku itu gue gali dari tumpukan Book Sale, yang terbuang dan didiskon habis-habisan. Gue pernah melihat buku tentang topik serupa tapi mereka begitu cepat turun dari display utama sehingga susah buat nyarinya lagi. Waktu milih buku ini aja gue tertarik dengan tulisannya yang lumayan besar dan pacing yang kelihatannya gak berat, maklum, mata udah kecapean ngeliat computer, baca buku inipun eksklusif hanya untuk dirumah, soalnya, judulnya mungkin bikin orang-orang di MRT mengernyitkan muka dan berpikir gue cewek ngebet yang baca buku jorok.
Hoh.
Setelah baca buku itu, gue milih2 buku laen dari rak, tapi mau gak mau gue kepengaruh dan jadi males baca buku fiksi. Karena, fiksi itu ternyata gak segila kenyataan, dan fiksi udah jarang menipu gue, jadi gue baca deh buku yang udah lama gue beli yang gak pernah gue baca karena keriting dan tulisannya kecil-kecil, Schindler’s List. Tahun lalu gue beli VCDnya dan nonton lagi, tapi banyak hal yang ternyata tidak begitu gue mengerti.
Scarlet toddler. Semua pasti ingat kalo pernah nonton filemnya/baca bukunya.
Ngomong-ngomong soal fiksi, gue dibeliin tumpukan, dan gue maksud tumpukan, buku poket Gober bebek. Lebih dari 50 buku dibeliin Asung, si koko gendut yang gak begitu gendut lagi dan dibawain bokap melewati Hang Nadim Batam dan Ferry Singapura. Setelah baca segitu banyak tentang keluarga bebek, banyak juga gue temui kalo mereka kadang-kadang nasty abis. Terutama si Gober pelit, gue sebel ama orang pelit, ceritanya banyak yang lucu tapi ada beberapa pula yang saking pelitnya bikin sebel juga! Di satu cerita, demi mendapatkan jalur kereta, dia bekerjasama dengan Untung dan mereka memfitnah Donal biar masuk penjara. Gila juga kan, buku anak-anak, kok kesennya fitnah wajar-wajar aja. Trus tentang Agus Angsa, yang bener-bener malas, ampe malas yang bikin sebel. Ha. Kebanyakan diserep bacanya kali’.
Anyway, Christmas is coming. I’m feeling it. : )
Yang penting buat Christmas bukan hari H-nya, mungkin juga bukan perayaannya, tapi mungkin, spiritnya?
Btw, gue punya ponakan baru, baru minggu lalu, dan katanya bapaknya udah kurusan tiga kilo. Hehehhehehehe.
____________________________________________________________________________________
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
- Bernard Manning
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
- Patrick Murray
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- Tom Clancy
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!"
- Milton Berle
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
- Phyllis Diller
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Surga Ada Di Kaki Orang Tua
On yesterday newspaper, there was an article that caught my eyes. I have seen similar a topic not so long ago in another newspaper.
It’s story about an elderly in China who committed arson. He is seventy, and the reason that made him do it is very pitiful, he just want to go to the prison, where he could get food and shelter. He was just release from five-year prison term for the same act, with the same reason.
The news followed by some statistic fact that although this case is extreme, it is a fact that many elderly, specifically in China, doesn’t have anybody to take care or provide for them, their children moved to big town to find a better life and leave them.
As I said, not so long ago, there were some articles in the news paper about elderly suicides rate her in Singapore. The reasons, they are lonely, they children don’t care about them and sometimes they feel they have become a burden and the children don’t treat them well. It’s quite common that some elderly passed away alone in their flat and not to be found until days or weeks after, because children hardly visit them.
It’s indeed a very very sad reality that is growing in modern society.
Long gone the days when children feel obligated to take care of their parents and respect and even fear of them. Long gone also the day when mother in law is a living hell.
Look around me and my family, sometimes I feel sad to see my parents and my mother in law’s effort to make them ‘needed.’ Of course, they don’t have to do that because they have filial children and even in-laws. But read between the lines, they can’t help to think that they have to contribute something, by being helpful and always being there when we need them for fear of being rejected like others.
It’s heartbreaking to oversee their fear. At these age, when they are supposed to enjoy life, they never stop caring and worrying about us. Something I keep telling them that they need to enjoy life and their hardwork and they don’t need to save for us anymore as we can take care of ourselves. I can see my dad’s target is being postponed years by years, from making sure all of us have good education, married, and now, they are worrying about our children.
Maybe most of the people never realized how much effort a parent puts into their children. From the moment the mother carries them, goes through the pain of labor, cry and worried when the children are hurt, wait by the bed when the children are sick and forgive them when they are rude and ungrateful, sacrifice their own pleasures and needs for the children, give them time, love and everything.
And some of the angels still end up on the street. : ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ”
I received this one long time ago, unknown writer, original in Indonesian. It makes me think really hard, and shed some hurt and shameful tears.
---
Ketika aku sudah tua, bukan lagi aku yang semula
Mengertilah, bersabarlah terhadap aku
Ketika pakaianku terciprat sup, ketika aku lupa bagaimana mengikat sepatu,
Ingatlah bahaimana dahulu aku mengajarimu.
Ketika aku berulang-ulang berkata-kata tentang sesuatu yang telah bosan kau dengar, bersabarlah mendengarkan, jangan memutuskan pembicaraanku.
Ketika kau kecil, aku harus selalu mengulang cerita yang telah beribu-ribu kali kuceritakan agar kau tidur.
Ketika aku memerlukanmu untuk memandikanku, jangan marah padaku.
Ingatkah sewaktu kecil aku harus memakai segala cara untuk membujukmu mandi?
Ketika aku tak paham sedikitpun tentang teknologi dan hal-hal baru, jangan mengejekku.
Pikirkan bagaimana dahulu aku begitu sabar menjawab setiap “mengapa” darimu.
Ketika aku tak dapat berjalan, ulurkan tanganmu yang masih kuat untuk memapahku.
Seperti aku memapahmu saat kau belajar berjalan waktu kau masih kecil.
Ketika aku melupakan pembicaraan kita, berilah aku waktu untuk mengingat.
Sebenarnya bagiku, apa yang dibicarakan tidak penting, asalkan kau disamping mendengarkan, aku sudah sangat puas.
Ketika kau memandang aku yang sudah mulau menua, janganlah berduka.
Mengertilah aku, dukung aku, sepeti aku menghadapimu ketika kamu belajar menjalani kehidupan.
Waktu itu aku memberi petunjuk bagaimana menjalani kehidupan ini, sekarang temanilah aku menjalankan sisa hidupku.
Beri aku cinta dan kesabaran, aku akan memberikan senyum penuh rasa syukur.
Dalam senyum ini terdapat cintaku yang tak terhingga untukmu.
Ayah dan Ibu
---
When I’m old, and not the person I used to be,
Please understand and be patient with me.
When my clothes are being tainted by soup, and I forget hoe to tie my shoelaces,
Please remember how I used to teach you those things.
When I keep saying and repeating the same stories,
Please listen to them patiently, don’t shut me down.
When you were little, I repeated the fairy tales a thousand times so you could sleep.
When you need you to bathe me, don’t be angry with me.
Remember I had to use everyway I could to make you shower when you were small.
When I don’t understand a single bit about technology and new things, don’t laugh at me.
Think about how patient I used to answer every ‘Why’ from you.
When I can’t walk, show me your hand and reach out for me,
Think about how I used to hold you when you learned to walk.
When I forget about our conversations, give me time to remember.
Actually the conversations are not important to me, but having you listening by my side.
When you see me growing old, don’t be sad.
Understand me, support me, as what I used to do when you started to learn about life.
Back then, I showed you how to face life, now accompany me to go through the rest of mine.
Give me love and patience, I will give you thankful smile,
Smile that carry my unlimited love for you.
Mom And Dad.
It’s story about an elderly in China who committed arson. He is seventy, and the reason that made him do it is very pitiful, he just want to go to the prison, where he could get food and shelter. He was just release from five-year prison term for the same act, with the same reason.
The news followed by some statistic fact that although this case is extreme, it is a fact that many elderly, specifically in China, doesn’t have anybody to take care or provide for them, their children moved to big town to find a better life and leave them.
As I said, not so long ago, there were some articles in the news paper about elderly suicides rate her in Singapore. The reasons, they are lonely, they children don’t care about them and sometimes they feel they have become a burden and the children don’t treat them well. It’s quite common that some elderly passed away alone in their flat and not to be found until days or weeks after, because children hardly visit them.
It’s indeed a very very sad reality that is growing in modern society.
Long gone the days when children feel obligated to take care of their parents and respect and even fear of them. Long gone also the day when mother in law is a living hell.
Look around me and my family, sometimes I feel sad to see my parents and my mother in law’s effort to make them ‘needed.’ Of course, they don’t have to do that because they have filial children and even in-laws. But read between the lines, they can’t help to think that they have to contribute something, by being helpful and always being there when we need them for fear of being rejected like others.
It’s heartbreaking to oversee their fear. At these age, when they are supposed to enjoy life, they never stop caring and worrying about us. Something I keep telling them that they need to enjoy life and their hardwork and they don’t need to save for us anymore as we can take care of ourselves. I can see my dad’s target is being postponed years by years, from making sure all of us have good education, married, and now, they are worrying about our children.
Maybe most of the people never realized how much effort a parent puts into their children. From the moment the mother carries them, goes through the pain of labor, cry and worried when the children are hurt, wait by the bed when the children are sick and forgive them when they are rude and ungrateful, sacrifice their own pleasures and needs for the children, give them time, love and everything.
And some of the angels still end up on the street. : ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ”
I received this one long time ago, unknown writer, original in Indonesian. It makes me think really hard, and shed some hurt and shameful tears.
---
Ketika aku sudah tua, bukan lagi aku yang semula
Mengertilah, bersabarlah terhadap aku
Ketika pakaianku terciprat sup, ketika aku lupa bagaimana mengikat sepatu,
Ingatlah bahaimana dahulu aku mengajarimu.
Ketika aku berulang-ulang berkata-kata tentang sesuatu yang telah bosan kau dengar, bersabarlah mendengarkan, jangan memutuskan pembicaraanku.
Ketika kau kecil, aku harus selalu mengulang cerita yang telah beribu-ribu kali kuceritakan agar kau tidur.
Ketika aku memerlukanmu untuk memandikanku, jangan marah padaku.
Ingatkah sewaktu kecil aku harus memakai segala cara untuk membujukmu mandi?
Ketika aku tak paham sedikitpun tentang teknologi dan hal-hal baru, jangan mengejekku.
Pikirkan bagaimana dahulu aku begitu sabar menjawab setiap “mengapa” darimu.
Ketika aku tak dapat berjalan, ulurkan tanganmu yang masih kuat untuk memapahku.
Seperti aku memapahmu saat kau belajar berjalan waktu kau masih kecil.
Ketika aku melupakan pembicaraan kita, berilah aku waktu untuk mengingat.
Sebenarnya bagiku, apa yang dibicarakan tidak penting, asalkan kau disamping mendengarkan, aku sudah sangat puas.
Ketika kau memandang aku yang sudah mulau menua, janganlah berduka.
Mengertilah aku, dukung aku, sepeti aku menghadapimu ketika kamu belajar menjalani kehidupan.
Waktu itu aku memberi petunjuk bagaimana menjalani kehidupan ini, sekarang temanilah aku menjalankan sisa hidupku.
Beri aku cinta dan kesabaran, aku akan memberikan senyum penuh rasa syukur.
Dalam senyum ini terdapat cintaku yang tak terhingga untukmu.
Ayah dan Ibu
---
When I’m old, and not the person I used to be,
Please understand and be patient with me.
When my clothes are being tainted by soup, and I forget hoe to tie my shoelaces,
Please remember how I used to teach you those things.
When I keep saying and repeating the same stories,
Please listen to them patiently, don’t shut me down.
When you were little, I repeated the fairy tales a thousand times so you could sleep.
When you need you to bathe me, don’t be angry with me.
Remember I had to use everyway I could to make you shower when you were small.
When I don’t understand a single bit about technology and new things, don’t laugh at me.
Think about how patient I used to answer every ‘Why’ from you.
When I can’t walk, show me your hand and reach out for me,
Think about how I used to hold you when you learned to walk.
When I forget about our conversations, give me time to remember.
Actually the conversations are not important to me, but having you listening by my side.
When you see me growing old, don’t be sad.
Understand me, support me, as what I used to do when you started to learn about life.
Back then, I showed you how to face life, now accompany me to go through the rest of mine.
Give me love and patience, I will give you thankful smile,
Smile that carry my unlimited love for you.
Mom And Dad.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Where Are All The People Come From?
I have forgotten that shopping is a very exhausting activity, well, maybe not shopping in particular, by being in the crowd.
On Sunday, we went to Sytex, quarterly computer and electronic exhibition, the main purpose was to look for camera for my Dad, the exact same camera with mine, because it’s easy to use, and it’s good and I also want to finally change it to the color that I want so my dad will have mine I will have his as usual kids are always so selfish but don’t get wrong I have asked for his approval bla bla..
But then, the original agenda has gone to the side, because there were some sales; fashions, bags etc and another exhibition called Big Boyz Toys. By the time we touched down Expo MRT, things were not looking good. There were humans, everywhere, every cm of the road, every steps of the stair! I imagined the nightmare we were going to face, and hell it was. We separated at first, me and mil went to the sales, while Hubby and Willy went to the Sytex, when I wanted to catch up with them, it was very hard to reunite. Sytex was completely un-walkable, it was almost impossible to look through things, not even to purchase, and the color of the camera that I want was not available, so we went to the Big Boyz to look for the pool table cover. They had the cover in good price, but it’s heavy! I think once we put the cover on the top, it’d be tedious to remove it, especially by one person. So we looked around at other things.
There were quite a lot of cool things; big motorbike, tracking bike, Harley (not only those kind for big guy with leather jacket who need to unwind their armpit) but the whole black model with low-positioned handle, adventure tracking jeep, and for guys, mud wrestling by girls, he ho, and..motorboat! Whoa! Two boats, I guess 22 footer, with and without cover were displayed there. Three of us ended up chatting and asked for information while pretending like buyers.
Then, we sat outside at the curb, and started to dream how it would be like if we shared a boat. It’s usable for a simply getaway to the sea, to wakeboarding and we could even use it for our weekend diving trip to Malaysia. The boat came in handy with 3 years Marina membership and Course for two people, the only thing didn’t come in handy was the money of course. So if somebody happened to walk alongside the curb, they could see three dekil people drooling and looking at the brochure, if Leo was there, the drool would become a pool.
Anyway, I also can’t figure out why it was so tiring, we didn’t do much shopping and walking, but I feel like I have just climb a mountain. It’s aching all over the body, and I slept like I was being knocked out.
Crazy, crazy sinciapo. If only everyone have a boat, it won’t be this crowded on the weekend. Hik.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Everytime I stare at the moon on lonely nights, I always wonder, What the hell is that rabbit doing there?
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.
- Mark Twain
Writing is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day.
- William Allingham
On Sunday, we went to Sytex, quarterly computer and electronic exhibition, the main purpose was to look for camera for my Dad, the exact same camera with mine, because it’s easy to use, and it’s good and I also want to finally change it to the color that I want so my dad will have mine I will have his as usual kids are always so selfish but don’t get wrong I have asked for his approval bla bla..
But then, the original agenda has gone to the side, because there were some sales; fashions, bags etc and another exhibition called Big Boyz Toys. By the time we touched down Expo MRT, things were not looking good. There were humans, everywhere, every cm of the road, every steps of the stair! I imagined the nightmare we were going to face, and hell it was. We separated at first, me and mil went to the sales, while Hubby and Willy went to the Sytex, when I wanted to catch up with them, it was very hard to reunite. Sytex was completely un-walkable, it was almost impossible to look through things, not even to purchase, and the color of the camera that I want was not available, so we went to the Big Boyz to look for the pool table cover. They had the cover in good price, but it’s heavy! I think once we put the cover on the top, it’d be tedious to remove it, especially by one person. So we looked around at other things.
There were quite a lot of cool things; big motorbike, tracking bike, Harley (not only those kind for big guy with leather jacket who need to unwind their armpit) but the whole black model with low-positioned handle, adventure tracking jeep, and for guys, mud wrestling by girls, he ho, and..motorboat! Whoa! Two boats, I guess 22 footer, with and without cover were displayed there. Three of us ended up chatting and asked for information while pretending like buyers.
Then, we sat outside at the curb, and started to dream how it would be like if we shared a boat. It’s usable for a simply getaway to the sea, to wakeboarding and we could even use it for our weekend diving trip to Malaysia. The boat came in handy with 3 years Marina membership and Course for two people, the only thing didn’t come in handy was the money of course. So if somebody happened to walk alongside the curb, they could see three dekil people drooling and looking at the brochure, if Leo was there, the drool would become a pool.
Anyway, I also can’t figure out why it was so tiring, we didn’t do much shopping and walking, but I feel like I have just climb a mountain. It’s aching all over the body, and I slept like I was being knocked out.
Crazy, crazy sinciapo. If only everyone have a boat, it won’t be this crowded on the weekend. Hik.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Everytime I stare at the moon on lonely nights, I always wonder, What the hell is that rabbit doing there?
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.
- Mark Twain
Writing is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day.
- William Allingham
Monday, November 27, 2006
Marriage
Temen kerja gue minggu lalu ngimelin gue attachment berjudul ‘Did I marry the right person?’ Gue kagak gitu inget apa aja isinya. Panjang, tentang tetek bengek perkawinan dan intinya (kayaknya) adalah kita harus berusaha menerima orang yang kita nikahi apa adanya, dan jangan membandingkan.. bla bla, duh, ampun, gue bener2 lupa.
Sekilas info : Sekarang buanyuak banget hal mendetail kecil2 yang gue pikir bakal inget tapi ternyata gue lupa. Begitukah kehidupan di penghujung 20? Belom lama gue harus ganti kartu ATM karena gue lupa password yang gue pilih sendiri, padahal gue cuman sering pake 3 macem password. Selaen passwordnya, gue juga lupa jumlah digitnya..
Tapi isi attachment itu gak usah dipikirin. Setelah dikirimin, kita mulai bales2an imel, antara Gue dan Dia.
G : Nah. Complicated kan, tapi elo kan belom telat.
D : Lho! Elo kan juga belom?
Ampe disini gue bingung dikit, maksud gue dia belom telat soalnya dia masih single. Nah, maksud dia? Gue masih single juga? Setau gue gue emang belom bikin catatan sipil di Indo, dan Sertifikat kawin dari gereja belom gue ambil-ambil,... Setelah gue pikirin lebih dalem, Oh, maksudnya dia gue belom telat karena marriage gue baek2 aja. Trus ada email lagi.
D : Siapa bilang gue belom telat, kan gue udah punya cewek. Hampir sama aja.
G : Tunggu ampe loe tinggal bareng. Beda. Namanya tinggal bareng dua2nya ngeliat borok2nya masing2. Jangankan married, roommate atau housemate juga keliatan cara ngupilnya.
D : Iya sih. Loe tau sendiri gue tinggal sama dua orang cewek. Itu makanya gue gak pernah ngedate ama housemate gue, gue tau apa yang cowok mereka gak tau.
Dia pernah cerita tentang ‘Hal2 Yang Dia Tahu Yang Cowok Teman Serumahnya Aja Gak Tau’, seru kan, kepo kan, tapi jangan gue beberin disini. Intinya, tinggal serumah ama orang itu gak gampang. Bisa aja loe ketemu pasangan yang rapi jali, begitu dianya dirumah makannya pakai kaki. Orang2 yang rapi,manis, budiman, penyayang binatang, pecinta anak-anak didepan mata orang2 lain dimuka umum, bisa2 jadi kunyuk brutal yang suka banting pintu, tidur berkubang tumpukan debu, ada kucing atau anak2 nyasar ditendang keluar lewat jendela dan sakit dipantat (terjemahan pain in the ass lho) kalo soal bagi2 kewajiban didalam rumah.
Makanya diluar dari tata cara krama dsb, gue mendukung ide tinggal bareng dulu sebelom merid, tentunya kalo dua2nya orang dewasa bertanggung jawab dan tau baik buruknya tetek bengek. Dengan begitu, baru ketauan deh siap gak tinggal ama orang ini selama 50, 60, 100 taon?
Buat gue, gue dapet easy start. Gue ada pengalaman jadi housemate dulu, bahkan basic kenalnya gue dari housemate, at least, gue berasa itu plus-pointnya.
Tentunya, banyak pula cerita2 yang lebih aneh, seperti yang diceritain temen gue. Satu pasangan tinggal bareng, trus putus, tapi masih tinggal bareng, dan masing2 bawa pasangan masing2 buat tinggal bareng pula. Istilahnya, Die Lah. Aneh, aneh berat menurut gue, kecuali kalau mereka udah oke-oke aja, tapi bagaimanapun, sejarah tetap ada. Aneh dong. Aneh dehhhhh.
Ada pula, yang ini tidak jarang. Pasangan seangkatan bokap nyokap atau yang lebih tua yang udah gak klop satu sama laen milih tinggal pisah rumah/pisah kamar tapi tetap kawin. Ada yang alasannya demi anak-anak, ada juga yang alasannya tidak mau divorce. Gue jadi inget komentarnya temen gue yang lain, kalau orang2 dari generasi sebelumnya kalo sudah menikah, that’s it, mereka gak bakal mempertimbangkan untuk bercerai, mereka tabah2 aja melewati dan menghadapi semua rintangan.
Kalo dipikir2, emang bener, mungkin tidak baik kalo misalnya terjadi ketidakcocokan yang ekstrem atau pasangan yang jahat, buat pasangan satunya untuk bertahan sementara perkawinannya gak bahagia. Disisi laen, mereka mencoba segala cara untuk bertahan dan saling menerima dan banyak pula yang berhasil, dengan cara gak menyerah begitu saja kalau ada masalah, kecil maupun besar.
Gue pernah baca juga artikel dikoran disini, tentang ginian. Ada pula yang jawabnya, Kawin aja dulu, kalo gak cocok, Cerai aja, gampang.
Gampang? Temen gue yang laen mungkin bilang, Enak aja. Gampang gundulmu. Waktu dia bercerai, dia harus membagi semua barang miliknya. Bukan sesuatu yang gampang, karena semuanya sibeli buat berdua, dipakai buat berdua dan dipilih berdua. Semua barang menyimpan kenangan tertentu. Rumahnya dijual karena status rumahnya disini tidak valid lagi berhubung dia jadi single. Itu rumah yang pojokannya ada garis2 tempat mengukur tingginya sang anak, yang cat dan furniturenya dipilih berdua atau dicat berdua, dan dipakai berdua. Temen itu sampai menjadi down dan sedih walaupun dia tau divorce itu pilihannya yang bener.
Pasangan hidup itu sepertinya seseorang yang elo anggap gak bakalan berpaling, gak bakalan mengecewakan, selalu ada, selalu berbagi. Berbagi materi, berbagi hati. Makanya orang bilang The Other Half. Ketika harus berpisah, bagaimanapun juga pasti berasa tinggal setengah, mati setengah. Setidaknya untuk beberapa saat, ada yang recover dan membangun lagi setengah yang hilang, ada pula yang tidak.
Jadi, jangan pernah gampangin persoalan Kawin dan Cerai.
Apalagi dengan orang-orang yang melakukannya untuk alasan yang salah. Demi keinginan orang tua, demi mendapatkan suami kaya, demi pelarian dari single life.
Gue pernah cerita tentang temen gue yang stuck di perkawinannya dia, dia dijodohkan dan memutuskan untuk menikah demi keluar dari single life dan pekerjaannya yang stuck. Ternyata perkawinannya gak bahagia, suaminya tidak jujur soal backgroundnya dan dia juga punya ibu mertua from hell. Minggu kemaren gue telpon dia lagi, setelah sekian lama. Dia baru melahirkan anaknya yang kedua, dan semuanya makin parah. Hubungan dengan suaminya udah gak jelas, seperti dua orang asing, apalagi hubungan dengan keluarga suami yang terus menerus mencari-cari kesalahan dari pihak dia. Mau kabur, gak tau mau kemana dan anaknya sudah dua. Mau bertahan, sepertinya ketidakbahagiaan dia udah ekstrem. Gue bingung abis-abisan. Mau menolong, apa yang bisa gue lakukan? Gue disini, dia disana. Mencegah, udah gue lakukan, sebelom dia kawin, tapi tidak ada yang bisa menghakimi kalau keputusan seseorang itu baik atau buruk. Walaupun menyesal, gak ada penyesalan yang gak telat. Itulah resenya penyesalan, pahlawan kesiangan. Tengix.
D : Iya gue tau kalo merid itu lain, gak bakalan segampang pacaran. Walaupun pacaran yang serius juga susah. Dan seperti loe bilang, merid itu masalahnya bukan antara dua orang aja, tapi melibatkan keluarga, temen, pekerjaan....
*Holy Cow, banyak ya*
G : Iya sih, tapi jangan keder.
Kalo lo ketemu The Right Person, semuanya tak sesulit kelihatannya kok..
________________________________________________________________________________
Marriage is the only war when one sleeps with the enemy.
- Anonymous
What is the definition of tragedy? Marrying a man for love and the discovering that he has no money.
- Anonymous
The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.
- Cyril Connolly
We want playmates we own.
- Jules Feiffer
It’s bloody impractical : to love, honor and obey. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have to sign a contract.
- Katharine Hepburn
Sekilas info : Sekarang buanyuak banget hal mendetail kecil2 yang gue pikir bakal inget tapi ternyata gue lupa. Begitukah kehidupan di penghujung 20? Belom lama gue harus ganti kartu ATM karena gue lupa password yang gue pilih sendiri, padahal gue cuman sering pake 3 macem password. Selaen passwordnya, gue juga lupa jumlah digitnya..
Tapi isi attachment itu gak usah dipikirin. Setelah dikirimin, kita mulai bales2an imel, antara Gue dan Dia.
G : Nah. Complicated kan, tapi elo kan belom telat.
D : Lho! Elo kan juga belom?
Ampe disini gue bingung dikit, maksud gue dia belom telat soalnya dia masih single. Nah, maksud dia? Gue masih single juga? Setau gue gue emang belom bikin catatan sipil di Indo, dan Sertifikat kawin dari gereja belom gue ambil-ambil,... Setelah gue pikirin lebih dalem, Oh, maksudnya dia gue belom telat karena marriage gue baek2 aja. Trus ada email lagi.
D : Siapa bilang gue belom telat, kan gue udah punya cewek. Hampir sama aja.
G : Tunggu ampe loe tinggal bareng. Beda. Namanya tinggal bareng dua2nya ngeliat borok2nya masing2. Jangankan married, roommate atau housemate juga keliatan cara ngupilnya.
D : Iya sih. Loe tau sendiri gue tinggal sama dua orang cewek. Itu makanya gue gak pernah ngedate ama housemate gue, gue tau apa yang cowok mereka gak tau.
Dia pernah cerita tentang ‘Hal2 Yang Dia Tahu Yang Cowok Teman Serumahnya Aja Gak Tau’, seru kan, kepo kan, tapi jangan gue beberin disini. Intinya, tinggal serumah ama orang itu gak gampang. Bisa aja loe ketemu pasangan yang rapi jali, begitu dianya dirumah makannya pakai kaki. Orang2 yang rapi,manis, budiman, penyayang binatang, pecinta anak-anak didepan mata orang2 lain dimuka umum, bisa2 jadi kunyuk brutal yang suka banting pintu, tidur berkubang tumpukan debu, ada kucing atau anak2 nyasar ditendang keluar lewat jendela dan sakit dipantat (terjemahan pain in the ass lho) kalo soal bagi2 kewajiban didalam rumah.
Makanya diluar dari tata cara krama dsb, gue mendukung ide tinggal bareng dulu sebelom merid, tentunya kalo dua2nya orang dewasa bertanggung jawab dan tau baik buruknya tetek bengek. Dengan begitu, baru ketauan deh siap gak tinggal ama orang ini selama 50, 60, 100 taon?
Buat gue, gue dapet easy start. Gue ada pengalaman jadi housemate dulu, bahkan basic kenalnya gue dari housemate, at least, gue berasa itu plus-pointnya.
Tentunya, banyak pula cerita2 yang lebih aneh, seperti yang diceritain temen gue. Satu pasangan tinggal bareng, trus putus, tapi masih tinggal bareng, dan masing2 bawa pasangan masing2 buat tinggal bareng pula. Istilahnya, Die Lah. Aneh, aneh berat menurut gue, kecuali kalau mereka udah oke-oke aja, tapi bagaimanapun, sejarah tetap ada. Aneh dong. Aneh dehhhhh.
Ada pula, yang ini tidak jarang. Pasangan seangkatan bokap nyokap atau yang lebih tua yang udah gak klop satu sama laen milih tinggal pisah rumah/pisah kamar tapi tetap kawin. Ada yang alasannya demi anak-anak, ada juga yang alasannya tidak mau divorce. Gue jadi inget komentarnya temen gue yang lain, kalau orang2 dari generasi sebelumnya kalo sudah menikah, that’s it, mereka gak bakal mempertimbangkan untuk bercerai, mereka tabah2 aja melewati dan menghadapi semua rintangan.
Kalo dipikir2, emang bener, mungkin tidak baik kalo misalnya terjadi ketidakcocokan yang ekstrem atau pasangan yang jahat, buat pasangan satunya untuk bertahan sementara perkawinannya gak bahagia. Disisi laen, mereka mencoba segala cara untuk bertahan dan saling menerima dan banyak pula yang berhasil, dengan cara gak menyerah begitu saja kalau ada masalah, kecil maupun besar.
Gue pernah baca juga artikel dikoran disini, tentang ginian. Ada pula yang jawabnya, Kawin aja dulu, kalo gak cocok, Cerai aja, gampang.
Gampang? Temen gue yang laen mungkin bilang, Enak aja. Gampang gundulmu. Waktu dia bercerai, dia harus membagi semua barang miliknya. Bukan sesuatu yang gampang, karena semuanya sibeli buat berdua, dipakai buat berdua dan dipilih berdua. Semua barang menyimpan kenangan tertentu. Rumahnya dijual karena status rumahnya disini tidak valid lagi berhubung dia jadi single. Itu rumah yang pojokannya ada garis2 tempat mengukur tingginya sang anak, yang cat dan furniturenya dipilih berdua atau dicat berdua, dan dipakai berdua. Temen itu sampai menjadi down dan sedih walaupun dia tau divorce itu pilihannya yang bener.
Pasangan hidup itu sepertinya seseorang yang elo anggap gak bakalan berpaling, gak bakalan mengecewakan, selalu ada, selalu berbagi. Berbagi materi, berbagi hati. Makanya orang bilang The Other Half. Ketika harus berpisah, bagaimanapun juga pasti berasa tinggal setengah, mati setengah. Setidaknya untuk beberapa saat, ada yang recover dan membangun lagi setengah yang hilang, ada pula yang tidak.
Jadi, jangan pernah gampangin persoalan Kawin dan Cerai.
Apalagi dengan orang-orang yang melakukannya untuk alasan yang salah. Demi keinginan orang tua, demi mendapatkan suami kaya, demi pelarian dari single life.
Gue pernah cerita tentang temen gue yang stuck di perkawinannya dia, dia dijodohkan dan memutuskan untuk menikah demi keluar dari single life dan pekerjaannya yang stuck. Ternyata perkawinannya gak bahagia, suaminya tidak jujur soal backgroundnya dan dia juga punya ibu mertua from hell. Minggu kemaren gue telpon dia lagi, setelah sekian lama. Dia baru melahirkan anaknya yang kedua, dan semuanya makin parah. Hubungan dengan suaminya udah gak jelas, seperti dua orang asing, apalagi hubungan dengan keluarga suami yang terus menerus mencari-cari kesalahan dari pihak dia. Mau kabur, gak tau mau kemana dan anaknya sudah dua. Mau bertahan, sepertinya ketidakbahagiaan dia udah ekstrem. Gue bingung abis-abisan. Mau menolong, apa yang bisa gue lakukan? Gue disini, dia disana. Mencegah, udah gue lakukan, sebelom dia kawin, tapi tidak ada yang bisa menghakimi kalau keputusan seseorang itu baik atau buruk. Walaupun menyesal, gak ada penyesalan yang gak telat. Itulah resenya penyesalan, pahlawan kesiangan. Tengix.
D : Iya gue tau kalo merid itu lain, gak bakalan segampang pacaran. Walaupun pacaran yang serius juga susah. Dan seperti loe bilang, merid itu masalahnya bukan antara dua orang aja, tapi melibatkan keluarga, temen, pekerjaan....
*Holy Cow, banyak ya*
G : Iya sih, tapi jangan keder.
Kalo lo ketemu The Right Person, semuanya tak sesulit kelihatannya kok..
________________________________________________________________________________
Marriage is the only war when one sleeps with the enemy.
- Anonymous
What is the definition of tragedy? Marrying a man for love and the discovering that he has no money.
- Anonymous
The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.
- Cyril Connolly
We want playmates we own.
- Jules Feiffer
It’s bloody impractical : to love, honor and obey. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have to sign a contract.
- Katharine Hepburn
Friday, November 24, 2006
The Big Blue
I watched a movie called The Big Blue; it’s a French movie with original title Le Grand Bleu, made in 1988. The movie was not very successful in America, but it was played in French for over a year. I watched the extended version, and I have a new favorite movie.
It’s inspired by two rival-friends in free diving sport, played by Jean Reno (he is always cool) and Jean-Marc Barr. The characters in the movie are real. Both of them are depth record breaker for free diving until the competition to break record was banned.
But the movie itself is not all about some rigid competition but mix of everything. Just when you think the movie is over, it doesn’t. Just when you think you know the way it’s going, it goes another way.
It’s unique and in some sort of way made me glue to the screen and be in the same shoe with the character and it does blow me away. Watch! It’s a gem.
Last week I watch An Inconvenient Truth. Not many people know about this movie as it is not published widely here. I thought it’s a documenter, but surprise surprise, I didn’t have a hint that Al Gore is into environment. I didn’t even know how does he look but only hear his name few times related to US politic. Charismatic, well said, although I can’t help wondering why is it feel like an autobiography and campaign purpose. So, the movie gripped me but not for long, as the main purpose is almost blurred. But watch out, watching this movie make you feel like attending to a Geography class. Although, if only classes were at this quality.
Tiger And The Snow. My friend recommended this movie; we are both the fans of Roberto Benigni’s work in Life Is Beautiful. As LIB, it’s not easy to guess where the movie is going on the first part, it feels like what-the-hell-is-the-plot type of drama comedy, but when we find out what is it all about, it makes us stick to it.
Both movies have many similarities. Starting from the same casts, which I must say have very similar character in both movies, it has light-simple plot with heavy historical background. Eliminate all the errors and questions about the history, the length of Auschwitz concentration camp, that divers breath pure oxigen, and then enjoy the heart-warming movie.
To be mushy, both movies have great points for us to think about how we should live and love. : )
Malena, this is an Italy movie, with Monica Bellucci as the main cast, perfect cast imo. The story a about how a beautiful woman gets through her life during wartime. Beautiful woman, as in beautiful as a curse, in hypocritical society. It’s scary.
Alibi is funny in its own way. About a business in providing alibi for those unfaithful husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend.
I watched it sometimes ago, I thought the main character is cute, although he is not handsome, not nice small built and never smile. ?!?
Pirate of The Caribbean 2, didn’t really understand some parts because I forgot about the first installment, at times I got very piss off with the witch lady for not talking normally, at other times I laughed my head out at Captain Jack. But most of all, I watched it because of the main actor : ) Johny Deep lah! But I do like the movie.
Lake House, again, he he he he, Mass Nunu! The story is adopted from Korean movie, about two people living two years apart. Not bad. Quite romantic.
RV, starring Robie William, about how he struggled to maintain his works and family, one of them by having a road trip to (Damn, I forgot the place! The place has great sceneries) in RV, some kind of trailer.
Great actor, and not a bad comedy.
Benny and Joon, old old movie, starring, Johny Deep. Another weird character. Light movie, about how two unusual person together. Simple, predictable, but it’s nice.
Underworld and Sequence. Bah.
The Break Up, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaugh. Nice movie, the plot is simple but imo, all the guy in the world should watch it, very connectable to real life, more than people ever thought. Like the ending.
The World Fastest Indian. The feel-good movie, about Anthony Hopkins doing what he always dream about. It’s long, he talks a lot, but everybody is nice.
Click. Not a useless drama. Something to think about, but I could use some button of the remote. : )
Unfaithful. Richard Gere, Diana Keaton (?) and Oliver Martinez. Not an unique idea but the plot is not bad and Oliver Martinez is....hot.
From those all, the one I really hit the cinema was Pirate and Inconvenient Truth only. Wadaw, should spice up my night life a bit..
It’s inspired by two rival-friends in free diving sport, played by Jean Reno (he is always cool) and Jean-Marc Barr. The characters in the movie are real. Both of them are depth record breaker for free diving until the competition to break record was banned.
But the movie itself is not all about some rigid competition but mix of everything. Just when you think the movie is over, it doesn’t. Just when you think you know the way it’s going, it goes another way.
It’s unique and in some sort of way made me glue to the screen and be in the same shoe with the character and it does blow me away. Watch! It’s a gem.
Last week I watch An Inconvenient Truth. Not many people know about this movie as it is not published widely here. I thought it’s a documenter, but surprise surprise, I didn’t have a hint that Al Gore is into environment. I didn’t even know how does he look but only hear his name few times related to US politic. Charismatic, well said, although I can’t help wondering why is it feel like an autobiography and campaign purpose. So, the movie gripped me but not for long, as the main purpose is almost blurred. But watch out, watching this movie make you feel like attending to a Geography class. Although, if only classes were at this quality.
Tiger And The Snow. My friend recommended this movie; we are both the fans of Roberto Benigni’s work in Life Is Beautiful. As LIB, it’s not easy to guess where the movie is going on the first part, it feels like what-the-hell-is-the-plot type of drama comedy, but when we find out what is it all about, it makes us stick to it.
Both movies have many similarities. Starting from the same casts, which I must say have very similar character in both movies, it has light-simple plot with heavy historical background. Eliminate all the errors and questions about the history, the length of Auschwitz concentration camp, that divers breath pure oxigen, and then enjoy the heart-warming movie.
To be mushy, both movies have great points for us to think about how we should live and love. : )
Malena, this is an Italy movie, with Monica Bellucci as the main cast, perfect cast imo. The story a about how a beautiful woman gets through her life during wartime. Beautiful woman, as in beautiful as a curse, in hypocritical society. It’s scary.
Alibi is funny in its own way. About a business in providing alibi for those unfaithful husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend.
I watched it sometimes ago, I thought the main character is cute, although he is not handsome, not nice small built and never smile. ?!?
Pirate of The Caribbean 2, didn’t really understand some parts because I forgot about the first installment, at times I got very piss off with the witch lady for not talking normally, at other times I laughed my head out at Captain Jack. But most of all, I watched it because of the main actor : ) Johny Deep lah! But I do like the movie.
Lake House, again, he he he he, Mass Nunu! The story is adopted from Korean movie, about two people living two years apart. Not bad. Quite romantic.
RV, starring Robie William, about how he struggled to maintain his works and family, one of them by having a road trip to (Damn, I forgot the place! The place has great sceneries) in RV, some kind of trailer.
Great actor, and not a bad comedy.
Benny and Joon, old old movie, starring, Johny Deep. Another weird character. Light movie, about how two unusual person together. Simple, predictable, but it’s nice.
Underworld and Sequence. Bah.
The Break Up, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaugh. Nice movie, the plot is simple but imo, all the guy in the world should watch it, very connectable to real life, more than people ever thought. Like the ending.
The World Fastest Indian. The feel-good movie, about Anthony Hopkins doing what he always dream about. It’s long, he talks a lot, but everybody is nice.
Click. Not a useless drama. Something to think about, but I could use some button of the remote. : )
Unfaithful. Richard Gere, Diana Keaton (?) and Oliver Martinez. Not an unique idea but the plot is not bad and Oliver Martinez is....hot.
From those all, the one I really hit the cinema was Pirate and Inconvenient Truth only. Wadaw, should spice up my night life a bit..
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Confessions To Make
It’s mid of November, but I haven’t felt the Christmas spirit. I also haven’t heard Christmas songs being played. But shops have started to sell Christmas decorations, trees, cards etc. I do agree Christmas has been commercialized, but what isn’t in this current world? At least Christmas still has some meaning and giving, and charity work goes up during Christmas, and we have a free day from work.
So for this upcoming Christmas, and to celebrate that I have been writing my thoughts for more than a year, I want to introspect myself.
I have this guy friend, we are close since high school, and he likes to share his thoughts, his problems; something good, something fun, something sad and everything. Now that both of us have our own family, we hardly get in touch but if we happen to have a chance to talk, we still can attach bit and bits, end to end with no problem. Orang Jawa call it Nyuambungh.
One day, he shared his problem to me, after some conversation, then he told me, I’ve shared a lot of things to you. My secret etc, and I appreciate that you always listen and help me. But I realize that you hardly tell me and share me your problem? Do you have problem at all?
It struck me and I gave it a thought. Maybe he’s right, perhaps he’s right. I don’t like to share my problems, not because I want to, but because by talking about it, it reminds me more, and I thought by talking only it wouldn’t be solved, instead, it would make me down, and make my friend down by hearing it.
I thought if I keep it to myself, I’d be able to solve it by myself. But I also realize, does it mean that I’m one type of person who choose to run away from problems?
So, jokingly of course, with this friend I could never be 100% serious, I also tried to share my problem, with his help. He tried to keep me talking by asking some questions. It was embarrassing, because the problem was ugh, personal, yeah, young people, what else was our biggest problem except relationship. It wasn’t smooth, we laughed, we stuck, but we were getting better, and then I know, maybe I can’t solve the problems by talking, but at least it’s relieving to share it with someone. Along the way, we might find some brilliant ways to solve it and at the end, nothing is too heavy.
I also found more surprises along the way I learn to talk more openly. Such as, many people misread me. I cared for them but they thought I didn’t. I also amaze that I could hide my feelings very very well, sometimes too well. Too well that I only had a boyfriend when I was 20. He he he he he he..
Okay, I had to cut the crap here. These are not the things I intended to say. All I want to say is that, I used to find it horrible to write my thinking. Sometimes I was caught in horror when somebody told me they read it. I was like, Oh shit shit, did I write something bad? Something secret? Something humiliating?
My colleagues made noise when I refused to give them the link to my blog. I wrote and complained so many things about them and office. I would never, in my own will, let them read it. Then they threatened that they would try to find it by themselves. Easy, go to Friendster, search for name, fit the particular and bam. I was panic, and I banned everyone except first tier friend to access the blog. It should be nothing, but indeed I was really really panic.
When everything slowed down, I opened the connection again. So far, so safe.
I just realize that I might not want to mix up these two worlds, my work life and my real life. They are different!
But this Christmas, I want to try to open up more, (but not by giving my colleagues the link to this of course),
I will still write as if nobody will read it, because if not, maybe I won’t write anything, but I won’t restrain myself from everything.
Shiooooooooooooook…
So I share my self-introspection. Not in particular or alphabetical order.
My favorite time:
1. I love to be with my family. We eat a lot; we make fun of each other. But it is fun. I remember when I was a child; we spent time by playing cards together. And now, we like to play mahjong. Mahjong! It’s not really about gambling, but sit down together and have quality time and conversations. Those times are precious to me.
2. Spending time with my friends. Old friends, good friends are those people who keep me young, kekeke. People who can make me laugh silly and free.
3. Spending time with Hubby, myself and of course, diving, my quite new passion but something I grow so fond of that I can’t imagine giving it up. Hopefully I’ll never need to.
My stupidity:
1. It was the third year of my university. So I was in the Bank ATM and wanted to draw
200Kto pay for something. By the time the machine was processing the money, I remember I didn’t need that much, so when the money came out, I figured that it would be tedious for me to bank it in again, I better let the machine pulled it back in and reduced 0 in my balance. So I stood there, made face to the money, lewekin, nyenyenyenye, until the atm machine pulled it back. I was still laughing until I printed out the balance, and bam, my balance was 200K less! Which was close to zero?
I was panic, only 30 seconds ago the money was in front of my nose, but I made fun at it. I had to report to the bank and stated the most stupid reason, trying to make it sound not so stupid and waited for their call the whole day until the bank closed all the transactions and proved that they had 200K more in their balance. I tell you, it was a very long day.
2. A friend insisted to introduce me to a guy; I refused until one day he really came to my class. My first stupid reaction: I ran. What the hell was I thinking? I really don’t know. And it didn’t happen only once. Lucky we became friends during our other stage of life.
Similar thing happened during Junior High School, a guy who sat on the same table, we had morning and afternoon class, he put some kind of letter below the table. We became pen pal for a while, until he requested to meet. I tried to avoid the meeting, he sent me pictures, and worse, apparently he knew my cousin. When we had a family gathering, he was there. And I hid. I don’t mean anything bad; I’m just not good with strangers.
What was I thinking?
1. On my first year in University, I found that my world was opened wide all of the sudden. There was this activity called Social Work, so we signed up to do social work for so called not-civilized villages. We built generator, public toilet, donate books blablabla, I was excited to join the activity, but bam, when I asked for permission to skip class, my lecturer rejected it. Our year, we only had 60 students, and there was a task for every class, so it’d be obvious if I was missing, otherwise, I guess I wouldn’t even ask. I was so surprised that he didn’t want to understand the reason. So I started to get angry and my reasoning were made in anger. Of course he was not happy, I would have jeopardize my particular subject if not for my good friend, who is much much more sensible, and she managed to talk the lecturer to give me, us, the permission, she decided to join me that very moment. Thanks, Tina, for saving my ass and accompanied me to the beautiful island where we watched cool guys worked with shovels. Aww : )
2. See, the problem that I have is when I’m angry, I tend to forget all the risks that I take. It’s good to defend ourselves, that’s what I think, but it’s also right that we think of the consequences. There were many times that I stood up when someone tried to take advantages of my mom’s shop, myself or my girl friends. Typical, woman, and Chinese, and those assh*l* thought they could scare us to death, or when someone tried to threaten me on the street. From slamming them with words, banged table and took out their physical challenge, I only know that I was in risk of many things. Luckily, those bastards were all chicken indeed. So, I must say that we shouldn’t act carelessly, but sometimes there are not many good other way to face a problem. Temper. Temper. It makes people live shorter.
My regrets:
1. We had a German Shepard, from the moment we bought it, she has this skin disease. We didn’t know about it, and it didn’t show much, the ******* pet shop lied a big deal when we asked. She was the liveliest dog, although she was sick, her spirit was much higher than others. We wanted her to help us guard the shop.
When riot struck, she escaped those stupid villains with minor bruise, so we had to keep her in our residence. Times went by, and there were times when many of us didn’t have full time to take care of her. Many of us stayed away from home. She was okay, she was healthily, but bearing the thought that she would sick again if nobody could take care of her, we had to find a way out.
Like an answer, one of our far neighbor, came by and asked for her. He has one male German Shepard and the owner wanted a friend for him. We knew his dog was very well groomed, and he acclaimed that he knew this type of disease and how to take care of her. We believed him with all the proves lied before our eyes, so we gave the dog to him.
One day, me and my mom happened to go for a morning walk, we walked further than usual. Near the man’s house, we saw a German Shepard being tied under the tree. My first reaction when I see a dog, is trying to befriend it. So I approached it. The dog was quite distracted; she kept looking at me, my mom, and made some sound. I noticed the tattoo on her ear. That’s the tattoo for every registered dog. I couldn’t be sure it’s her, but it was too much of the coincidence. My mom asked some security guard nearby and the security guard confirmed that it’s that man’s dog, our dog.
We were angry of course. Although she didn’t look very bad, but she was skinny and sad, and they tied her out everyday, sleeping on the pavement and sheltered below the tree. For a dog whose spirit never down, she certainly had gone through too much that she lost it. I couldn’t really remember the details, my mom said when she confronted the guy, he told her that our dog always fought with his, therefore he kept it outside during daytime. Maybe the saddest part for us is that we couldn’t do anything much. I was in my University all the time, so did everyone else. We couldn’t report him for neglecting, because we couldn’t really prove it. I couldn’t sleep and I cried for days.
Maybe this is one of my very biggest regrets that I couldn’t bear to think or to talk about.
2. Again. My temper.
One of the type of person I don’t like the most is the person who smiles when his/her heart say different thing. In my opinion, that is the scariest thing on earth and I don’t want any business to do with them. Imagine, they can stab you while they are smiling.
But, on the other hand, sometimes I do envy them. When I’m angry, or I don’t like or don’t feel happy about something, I certainly can’t hide it. It shows all over my face, my behavior and the way I talk. The fact that I can’t sugar coat it make me say nasty things that hurt other people, and sometimes, my parents. Hurting my parent’s feeling, although they forgave me, and not something major, I could hardly forgive and forget myself.
Sometimes I just wish that I had the option to smile while I’m angry. It’s fake, but better than hurting the people I love.
3. Learning from stupidity no.2, I should have give people more chance to get to know me, and I to get to know them. I might not know how many chances I have passed, but luckily, many had become my good friends later in life. They deserved thumbs up to bear with my stupidity, and we can laugh about it now.
My changes:
The way I see people representing religion.
The most of the thing I questioned in the past, was why would any parents want to baptize their children since baby? Don’t they want to let them have choices?
With this, my good friends managed to convince me, that they wanted what they feel is the best for the children. I agree with this, parents are angels; they have our best interest in their heart, and indeed that’s a very valid reason. I still have my doubts, but I satisfied with that.
Along the way, I have more questions, and I realized that there are two most disturbing things:
1. A. I saw ordinary people being kind; in fact some of the genuine kindest people that I met are not educated, poor and they might not even have religion.
B. Not one, but many of the preachers say that people without religion (or sometimes specifically without being a Christian) would, harshly put, go to hell.
If I have to categorize the things above, I would categorize A as Fact, and B as Fiction.
I have a big problem about anyone who says that my Buddist parent, my friends from other religions or those nice people in the street who never hurt a fly won’t have place in God’s home and go to hell.
2. Some preachers indeed put in their point hard and clear that we should donate, donate and donate money, small money, big percentage of money or whatever to prove that we are good Christian, helping people, repay God etc etc.
What I have big problem above is that sometimes they almost condemn those who don’t do so.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, if somebody have difficulties to make the ends meet, or want to contribute with their energy, their time in helping anybody else, doesn’t it worth some mention? Should it have to be money all the time? And where does it go every time? Can I be sure that I’m helping poor people by donating? But why, when some misfortunate thing happened, we often have to recollect money before they could do something?
But after giving a thought about these two disturbing things, I found the answer, at least for myself. It’s human. It’s all in human error. When somebody is considered qualified to say something in the name of religion, like preacher, it doesn’t mean that they are right. More often, we have to think again and be selective. They make mistakes, because they are human, but the dumb thing is without knowing better, they are pulling other people to follow, and for that, it’s a big mistake to let them talk on the first place.
No matter how weird, how many times we see people do stupid things in the name of religion? Almost nothing is more violent than war in the name of religion.
How many times we read news about crazy priests or other religion leader molest, rape or corrupt? And their victims, are those people who went to them to get some help or enlightenment to be good, and those money are hard earned money spared by people who want to do good.
Don’t get me wrong; I don’t give up my Christianity. But maybe I give up on human. I only try to do what the good man teaches us to do, to be kind. Not by money, not by being a Christian.
My fears:
1. I have constant fear of something bad happens to people I care about. I almost can’t stop worrying about it, and I don’t know what I will do. It’s something beyond my ability and something that I can’t outgrow.
2. I have a very big fear that I would become somebody that I’m not. I am afraid of being tied down, giving up all my passions and dreams of life. It sound abstract, but it’s very real.
Damnit! How can this post become this serious? I feel all the pressure during the writing process, I actually feel sad, stupid, angry and scared. This is how I celebrate my one-year of writing about my life? Maybe I will give up after this heavy post!
I’m sure I still have many things, but I’ll stop now.
Maybe I add in one more thing to cheer me up, because I’m depressed at this moment!
One thing I’m glad I never give up:
During our open water class to get my first certification as diver, we went through one hell of morning. I had seasickness; I was throwing up, beside the boat, behind the boat, on the surface, inside the water. It was a nightmare. If there were lands anywhere near my sight, I would give up that very moment and celibate from the sea. Fortunately, we were far far away in the open water. Although I was dying and suffering, I had to finish the lessons. When I received my certification, there was nothing in my mind to allow my self involved again. Lucky, I have my buddy and my friend; they were my only reasons to try again. And now, it’s the passion of my life. Every moment, I dream of doing it. Apa coba.
Okay. My hardest post ever. I should be paid by hours, I might get rich. 3111 words. Holy crap.
Eh, why my boss passed by so many times?
______________________________________________________________________________
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.
- Oscar Wilde
Every religion is good that teaches man to be good.
- Thomas Paine
History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
- Edward Gibbon
If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
- Charles I
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
Never speak when you are angry. If you do you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
- Robert Lynd
Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly.
- Theodore Roosevelt
So for this upcoming Christmas, and to celebrate that I have been writing my thoughts for more than a year, I want to introspect myself.
I have this guy friend, we are close since high school, and he likes to share his thoughts, his problems; something good, something fun, something sad and everything. Now that both of us have our own family, we hardly get in touch but if we happen to have a chance to talk, we still can attach bit and bits, end to end with no problem. Orang Jawa call it Nyuambungh.
One day, he shared his problem to me, after some conversation, then he told me, I’ve shared a lot of things to you. My secret etc, and I appreciate that you always listen and help me. But I realize that you hardly tell me and share me your problem? Do you have problem at all?
It struck me and I gave it a thought. Maybe he’s right, perhaps he’s right. I don’t like to share my problems, not because I want to, but because by talking about it, it reminds me more, and I thought by talking only it wouldn’t be solved, instead, it would make me down, and make my friend down by hearing it.
I thought if I keep it to myself, I’d be able to solve it by myself. But I also realize, does it mean that I’m one type of person who choose to run away from problems?
So, jokingly of course, with this friend I could never be 100% serious, I also tried to share my problem, with his help. He tried to keep me talking by asking some questions. It was embarrassing, because the problem was ugh, personal, yeah, young people, what else was our biggest problem except relationship. It wasn’t smooth, we laughed, we stuck, but we were getting better, and then I know, maybe I can’t solve the problems by talking, but at least it’s relieving to share it with someone. Along the way, we might find some brilliant ways to solve it and at the end, nothing is too heavy.
I also found more surprises along the way I learn to talk more openly. Such as, many people misread me. I cared for them but they thought I didn’t. I also amaze that I could hide my feelings very very well, sometimes too well. Too well that I only had a boyfriend when I was 20. He he he he he he..
Okay, I had to cut the crap here. These are not the things I intended to say. All I want to say is that, I used to find it horrible to write my thinking. Sometimes I was caught in horror when somebody told me they read it. I was like, Oh shit shit, did I write something bad? Something secret? Something humiliating?
My colleagues made noise when I refused to give them the link to my blog. I wrote and complained so many things about them and office. I would never, in my own will, let them read it. Then they threatened that they would try to find it by themselves. Easy, go to Friendster, search for name, fit the particular and bam. I was panic, and I banned everyone except first tier friend to access the blog. It should be nothing, but indeed I was really really panic.
When everything slowed down, I opened the connection again. So far, so safe.
I just realize that I might not want to mix up these two worlds, my work life and my real life. They are different!
But this Christmas, I want to try to open up more, (but not by giving my colleagues the link to this of course),
I will still write as if nobody will read it, because if not, maybe I won’t write anything, but I won’t restrain myself from everything.
Shiooooooooooooook…
So I share my self-introspection. Not in particular or alphabetical order.
My favorite time:
1. I love to be with my family. We eat a lot; we make fun of each other. But it is fun. I remember when I was a child; we spent time by playing cards together. And now, we like to play mahjong. Mahjong! It’s not really about gambling, but sit down together and have quality time and conversations. Those times are precious to me.
2. Spending time with my friends. Old friends, good friends are those people who keep me young, kekeke. People who can make me laugh silly and free.
3. Spending time with Hubby, myself and of course, diving, my quite new passion but something I grow so fond of that I can’t imagine giving it up. Hopefully I’ll never need to.
My stupidity:
1. It was the third year of my university. So I was in the Bank ATM and wanted to draw
200Kto pay for something. By the time the machine was processing the money, I remember I didn’t need that much, so when the money came out, I figured that it would be tedious for me to bank it in again, I better let the machine pulled it back in and reduced 0 in my balance. So I stood there, made face to the money, lewekin, nyenyenyenye, until the atm machine pulled it back. I was still laughing until I printed out the balance, and bam, my balance was 200K less! Which was close to zero?
I was panic, only 30 seconds ago the money was in front of my nose, but I made fun at it. I had to report to the bank and stated the most stupid reason, trying to make it sound not so stupid and waited for their call the whole day until the bank closed all the transactions and proved that they had 200K more in their balance. I tell you, it was a very long day.
2. A friend insisted to introduce me to a guy; I refused until one day he really came to my class. My first stupid reaction: I ran. What the hell was I thinking? I really don’t know. And it didn’t happen only once. Lucky we became friends during our other stage of life.
Similar thing happened during Junior High School, a guy who sat on the same table, we had morning and afternoon class, he put some kind of letter below the table. We became pen pal for a while, until he requested to meet. I tried to avoid the meeting, he sent me pictures, and worse, apparently he knew my cousin. When we had a family gathering, he was there. And I hid. I don’t mean anything bad; I’m just not good with strangers.
What was I thinking?
1. On my first year in University, I found that my world was opened wide all of the sudden. There was this activity called Social Work, so we signed up to do social work for so called not-civilized villages. We built generator, public toilet, donate books blablabla, I was excited to join the activity, but bam, when I asked for permission to skip class, my lecturer rejected it. Our year, we only had 60 students, and there was a task for every class, so it’d be obvious if I was missing, otherwise, I guess I wouldn’t even ask. I was so surprised that he didn’t want to understand the reason. So I started to get angry and my reasoning were made in anger. Of course he was not happy, I would have jeopardize my particular subject if not for my good friend, who is much much more sensible, and she managed to talk the lecturer to give me, us, the permission, she decided to join me that very moment. Thanks, Tina, for saving my ass and accompanied me to the beautiful island where we watched cool guys worked with shovels. Aww : )
2. See, the problem that I have is when I’m angry, I tend to forget all the risks that I take. It’s good to defend ourselves, that’s what I think, but it’s also right that we think of the consequences. There were many times that I stood up when someone tried to take advantages of my mom’s shop, myself or my girl friends. Typical, woman, and Chinese, and those assh*l* thought they could scare us to death, or when someone tried to threaten me on the street. From slamming them with words, banged table and took out their physical challenge, I only know that I was in risk of many things. Luckily, those bastards were all chicken indeed. So, I must say that we shouldn’t act carelessly, but sometimes there are not many good other way to face a problem. Temper. Temper. It makes people live shorter.
My regrets:
1. We had a German Shepard, from the moment we bought it, she has this skin disease. We didn’t know about it, and it didn’t show much, the ******* pet shop lied a big deal when we asked. She was the liveliest dog, although she was sick, her spirit was much higher than others. We wanted her to help us guard the shop.
When riot struck, she escaped those stupid villains with minor bruise, so we had to keep her in our residence. Times went by, and there were times when many of us didn’t have full time to take care of her. Many of us stayed away from home. She was okay, she was healthily, but bearing the thought that she would sick again if nobody could take care of her, we had to find a way out.
Like an answer, one of our far neighbor, came by and asked for her. He has one male German Shepard and the owner wanted a friend for him. We knew his dog was very well groomed, and he acclaimed that he knew this type of disease and how to take care of her. We believed him with all the proves lied before our eyes, so we gave the dog to him.
One day, me and my mom happened to go for a morning walk, we walked further than usual. Near the man’s house, we saw a German Shepard being tied under the tree. My first reaction when I see a dog, is trying to befriend it. So I approached it. The dog was quite distracted; she kept looking at me, my mom, and made some sound. I noticed the tattoo on her ear. That’s the tattoo for every registered dog. I couldn’t be sure it’s her, but it was too much of the coincidence. My mom asked some security guard nearby and the security guard confirmed that it’s that man’s dog, our dog.
We were angry of course. Although she didn’t look very bad, but she was skinny and sad, and they tied her out everyday, sleeping on the pavement and sheltered below the tree. For a dog whose spirit never down, she certainly had gone through too much that she lost it. I couldn’t really remember the details, my mom said when she confronted the guy, he told her that our dog always fought with his, therefore he kept it outside during daytime. Maybe the saddest part for us is that we couldn’t do anything much. I was in my University all the time, so did everyone else. We couldn’t report him for neglecting, because we couldn’t really prove it. I couldn’t sleep and I cried for days.
Maybe this is one of my very biggest regrets that I couldn’t bear to think or to talk about.
2. Again. My temper.
One of the type of person I don’t like the most is the person who smiles when his/her heart say different thing. In my opinion, that is the scariest thing on earth and I don’t want any business to do with them. Imagine, they can stab you while they are smiling.
But, on the other hand, sometimes I do envy them. When I’m angry, or I don’t like or don’t feel happy about something, I certainly can’t hide it. It shows all over my face, my behavior and the way I talk. The fact that I can’t sugar coat it make me say nasty things that hurt other people, and sometimes, my parents. Hurting my parent’s feeling, although they forgave me, and not something major, I could hardly forgive and forget myself.
Sometimes I just wish that I had the option to smile while I’m angry. It’s fake, but better than hurting the people I love.
3. Learning from stupidity no.2, I should have give people more chance to get to know me, and I to get to know them. I might not know how many chances I have passed, but luckily, many had become my good friends later in life. They deserved thumbs up to bear with my stupidity, and we can laugh about it now.
My changes:
The way I see people representing religion.
The most of the thing I questioned in the past, was why would any parents want to baptize their children since baby? Don’t they want to let them have choices?
With this, my good friends managed to convince me, that they wanted what they feel is the best for the children. I agree with this, parents are angels; they have our best interest in their heart, and indeed that’s a very valid reason. I still have my doubts, but I satisfied with that.
Along the way, I have more questions, and I realized that there are two most disturbing things:
1. A. I saw ordinary people being kind; in fact some of the genuine kindest people that I met are not educated, poor and they might not even have religion.
B. Not one, but many of the preachers say that people without religion (or sometimes specifically without being a Christian) would, harshly put, go to hell.
If I have to categorize the things above, I would categorize A as Fact, and B as Fiction.
I have a big problem about anyone who says that my Buddist parent, my friends from other religions or those nice people in the street who never hurt a fly won’t have place in God’s home and go to hell.
2. Some preachers indeed put in their point hard and clear that we should donate, donate and donate money, small money, big percentage of money or whatever to prove that we are good Christian, helping people, repay God etc etc.
What I have big problem above is that sometimes they almost condemn those who don’t do so.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, if somebody have difficulties to make the ends meet, or want to contribute with their energy, their time in helping anybody else, doesn’t it worth some mention? Should it have to be money all the time? And where does it go every time? Can I be sure that I’m helping poor people by donating? But why, when some misfortunate thing happened, we often have to recollect money before they could do something?
But after giving a thought about these two disturbing things, I found the answer, at least for myself. It’s human. It’s all in human error. When somebody is considered qualified to say something in the name of religion, like preacher, it doesn’t mean that they are right. More often, we have to think again and be selective. They make mistakes, because they are human, but the dumb thing is without knowing better, they are pulling other people to follow, and for that, it’s a big mistake to let them talk on the first place.
No matter how weird, how many times we see people do stupid things in the name of religion? Almost nothing is more violent than war in the name of religion.
How many times we read news about crazy priests or other religion leader molest, rape or corrupt? And their victims, are those people who went to them to get some help or enlightenment to be good, and those money are hard earned money spared by people who want to do good.
Don’t get me wrong; I don’t give up my Christianity. But maybe I give up on human. I only try to do what the good man teaches us to do, to be kind. Not by money, not by being a Christian.
My fears:
1. I have constant fear of something bad happens to people I care about. I almost can’t stop worrying about it, and I don’t know what I will do. It’s something beyond my ability and something that I can’t outgrow.
2. I have a very big fear that I would become somebody that I’m not. I am afraid of being tied down, giving up all my passions and dreams of life. It sound abstract, but it’s very real.
Damnit! How can this post become this serious? I feel all the pressure during the writing process, I actually feel sad, stupid, angry and scared. This is how I celebrate my one-year of writing about my life? Maybe I will give up after this heavy post!
I’m sure I still have many things, but I’ll stop now.
Maybe I add in one more thing to cheer me up, because I’m depressed at this moment!
One thing I’m glad I never give up:
During our open water class to get my first certification as diver, we went through one hell of morning. I had seasickness; I was throwing up, beside the boat, behind the boat, on the surface, inside the water. It was a nightmare. If there were lands anywhere near my sight, I would give up that very moment and celibate from the sea. Fortunately, we were far far away in the open water. Although I was dying and suffering, I had to finish the lessons. When I received my certification, there was nothing in my mind to allow my self involved again. Lucky, I have my buddy and my friend; they were my only reasons to try again. And now, it’s the passion of my life. Every moment, I dream of doing it. Apa coba.
Okay. My hardest post ever. I should be paid by hours, I might get rich. 3111 words. Holy crap.
Eh, why my boss passed by so many times?
______________________________________________________________________________
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.
- Oscar Wilde
Every religion is good that teaches man to be good.
- Thomas Paine
History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
- Edward Gibbon
If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
- Charles I
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
Never speak when you are angry. If you do you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
- Robert Lynd
Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, November 13, 2006
Janji
Janji-janji memang suka menyesatkan. Kalo terlalu rajin mengobral, dibilangnya.. mengobral. Kalo terlalu pelit, dibilang sombong. Intinya, capek ati.
Dulu, gue suka bingung kalo diajakin kemana-mana sama anak Kapa. Soalnya, waktu itu gue juga termasuk anak berbakti pada orang tua yang pengen sering pulang ketemu bonyok, sodara-sodara dan doggy-doggy tercinta, udah itu gue juga harus mastiin membawa pulang hasil kuliah yang gak bikin jantungan orang tua dan gue sendiri.
Untung dan ruginya kegiatan Kapa itu, kita biasanya nyiapin jauh-jauh hari.
Untungnya : yah, jauh-jauh hari. Jadi banyak waktu buat nyiap-nyiapin, apa ya yang perlu disiapin? Misalnya sering2 lari pagi kalo mau naek gunung, biar ototnya gak jontor pas benerannya. Atau kudu pinjam barang2 yang diperlukan kalo gak punya.
Ruginya : Banyak juga. Kayak waktu itu udah senang2 rencana mau rafting, giliran udah deket, sungainya lagi kering.
Nah, karena jauh2 hari, susah buat gue buat janji kalo bisa pergi.
Makanya kalo ditanya, ikut yuk ini itu waktunya ini itu, gue gak bakalan jawab YA langsung deh, soalnya menurut gue kalo bilang ikut, mustinya harus ikut, dan pada waktu ditanya gue bingung dong gue benernya bisa ikut gak sih? Tugas2 banyak, presentasi sana sini, ujian sini situ, site visit ini itu, banyak yang gak bisa diprediksi begitu jauh.
Makanya gue suka bilang liat dulu. Cuman, kadang2 ada pula yang bilang, kok diajak apa-apa gak mau?
Cheee..., mungkin itu gara2 gue sering ngomongnya enggak tau dulu pertama2, makanya rekor tanggapan negatif gue banyak. Kalau gue pergi juga, gak dianulir tuh rekornya.
Terakhir-terakhir, gue sempat belajar jurus baru, bilang iya dulu, giliran gak bisa, baru ngasih alasan, atau sekalian bilang enggak. Setidaknya, jangan digantungin dulu deh, biar waktu berpikirnya bisa obyektif, gue mau milih yang mana, antara:
- Pulang ke rumah, berkumpul ama sodara-sodara yang bawel, melewati perjalanan minimal 8 jam pulang pergi Depok-Tangerang-Jakarta, makan debu dan menghadapi monyet2 genit bosan hidup dijalan?
+ Demi suasana kekeluargaan, makanan rumah dan channel Teve yang cuman diperebutkan diantara 4 monyet dibandingkan 30 monyet di kos-kosan?
- Ikut kegiatan Kapa, masuk rimba belantara, manggul 20 kilo, atau manjat2 kayak monyet di tebing, atau basah2an disungai butek, gak mandi beberapa hari dan berdesak-desakan ditenda dengan orang laen atau bahkan sleeping bag yang sama? (kadang2 ada resikonya punya sleeping bag gede dan temen yang ngaku kecil : ).
+ Demi suasana fun, crazy, and free? Dan cinta-cinta lokasi yang bikin hidup kuliah penuh dengan bumbu-bumbu manis pedes asam asin? : )
- Mengerjakan tugas kuliah atau belajar buat ujian?
- Demi masa depan? B*l* s*it.
Selaen janji-janji kayak gituan, gue juga paling bingung kalo berjanji sama orang yang gak gitu deket, jarang ketemu dan gak ada sama-samanya.
Gue liat orang sini setidaknya, kalo misah atau ketemu temen yang jarang2, ngomongnya Keep In Touch ya! Kedengerannya niat gitu, tapi herannya dua2nya gak pernah tukeran nomor telepon. Giliran gue tanya, bilangnya itu basa-basi, gak niat, tapi sama2 mau bersikap friendly. Hm, mungkin bener juga.
Suatu hari, pas lagi makan, gue gak sengaja ngeliatin orang yang ngeliatin gue. Setelah beberapa lama, gue berhasil inget namanya, trus kita chit chat bentar. Dia itu bekas temen kerja dikantor lama. Karena lagi bareng temen2 laen, kita juga saling berpesan ‘Keep in Touch’, cuman gue merasa berdosa juga, kok kayaknya BS banget ngomong gitu doang, jadi kita tukeran nomor telepon. Masalahnya, dia tuh bener2 gak deket, bahkan susah kalo mau dibilang temen. Kita cuman sempat ngobrol beberapa kalimat selama kerja bareng setahun. Dan taulah, kalo orang gak kenal ngobrolnya apa.
A: Tinggal dimana?
B: Disini.
A: Oh.
~ Diem ~
A: Gue punya temen tinggal deket situ.
B: Ohya? Bagian mana?
A: Disitu.
B: Oh.
~ Diem ~
A&B : Cuaca bagus ya..
Emang sih, banyak pula orang baru kenal yang ngobrolnya nyambung. Tapi sama yang ini, bener2 enggak. Makanya gue kaget juga ketika dia telpon besoknya dan besoknya lagi ngajakin kita makan malem bareng. Emang sih waktu itu kebetulan kita juga lagi gak sempet, cuman sebenarnya juga berasa bingung juga, kalo ketemu, mau ngapain? Apa dia sekedar respect janji buat keep in touch dan dia juga sebenarnya ogah?
Begitulah begitulah.
Senen - nguantuk beruat!
____________________________________________________________________________________
Personally I like short words and vulgar fractions.
- Sir Winston Churchill
If I Promise to miss you ... Will you go away?
- Anonymous
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
- Beau Brummel
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns.
I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
- Tommy Cooper
Dulu, gue suka bingung kalo diajakin kemana-mana sama anak Kapa. Soalnya, waktu itu gue juga termasuk anak berbakti pada orang tua yang pengen sering pulang ketemu bonyok, sodara-sodara dan doggy-doggy tercinta, udah itu gue juga harus mastiin membawa pulang hasil kuliah yang gak bikin jantungan orang tua dan gue sendiri.
Untung dan ruginya kegiatan Kapa itu, kita biasanya nyiapin jauh-jauh hari.
Untungnya : yah, jauh-jauh hari. Jadi banyak waktu buat nyiap-nyiapin, apa ya yang perlu disiapin? Misalnya sering2 lari pagi kalo mau naek gunung, biar ototnya gak jontor pas benerannya. Atau kudu pinjam barang2 yang diperlukan kalo gak punya.
Ruginya : Banyak juga. Kayak waktu itu udah senang2 rencana mau rafting, giliran udah deket, sungainya lagi kering.
Nah, karena jauh2 hari, susah buat gue buat janji kalo bisa pergi.
Makanya kalo ditanya, ikut yuk ini itu waktunya ini itu, gue gak bakalan jawab YA langsung deh, soalnya menurut gue kalo bilang ikut, mustinya harus ikut, dan pada waktu ditanya gue bingung dong gue benernya bisa ikut gak sih? Tugas2 banyak, presentasi sana sini, ujian sini situ, site visit ini itu, banyak yang gak bisa diprediksi begitu jauh.
Makanya gue suka bilang liat dulu. Cuman, kadang2 ada pula yang bilang, kok diajak apa-apa gak mau?
Cheee..., mungkin itu gara2 gue sering ngomongnya enggak tau dulu pertama2, makanya rekor tanggapan negatif gue banyak. Kalau gue pergi juga, gak dianulir tuh rekornya.
Terakhir-terakhir, gue sempat belajar jurus baru, bilang iya dulu, giliran gak bisa, baru ngasih alasan, atau sekalian bilang enggak. Setidaknya, jangan digantungin dulu deh, biar waktu berpikirnya bisa obyektif, gue mau milih yang mana, antara:
- Pulang ke rumah, berkumpul ama sodara-sodara yang bawel, melewati perjalanan minimal 8 jam pulang pergi Depok-Tangerang-Jakarta, makan debu dan menghadapi monyet2 genit bosan hidup dijalan?
+ Demi suasana kekeluargaan, makanan rumah dan channel Teve yang cuman diperebutkan diantara 4 monyet dibandingkan 30 monyet di kos-kosan?
- Ikut kegiatan Kapa, masuk rimba belantara, manggul 20 kilo, atau manjat2 kayak monyet di tebing, atau basah2an disungai butek, gak mandi beberapa hari dan berdesak-desakan ditenda dengan orang laen atau bahkan sleeping bag yang sama? (kadang2 ada resikonya punya sleeping bag gede dan temen yang ngaku kecil : ).
+ Demi suasana fun, crazy, and free? Dan cinta-cinta lokasi yang bikin hidup kuliah penuh dengan bumbu-bumbu manis pedes asam asin? : )
- Mengerjakan tugas kuliah atau belajar buat ujian?
- Demi masa depan? B*l* s*it.
Selaen janji-janji kayak gituan, gue juga paling bingung kalo berjanji sama orang yang gak gitu deket, jarang ketemu dan gak ada sama-samanya.
Gue liat orang sini setidaknya, kalo misah atau ketemu temen yang jarang2, ngomongnya Keep In Touch ya! Kedengerannya niat gitu, tapi herannya dua2nya gak pernah tukeran nomor telepon. Giliran gue tanya, bilangnya itu basa-basi, gak niat, tapi sama2 mau bersikap friendly. Hm, mungkin bener juga.
Suatu hari, pas lagi makan, gue gak sengaja ngeliatin orang yang ngeliatin gue. Setelah beberapa lama, gue berhasil inget namanya, trus kita chit chat bentar. Dia itu bekas temen kerja dikantor lama. Karena lagi bareng temen2 laen, kita juga saling berpesan ‘Keep in Touch’, cuman gue merasa berdosa juga, kok kayaknya BS banget ngomong gitu doang, jadi kita tukeran nomor telepon. Masalahnya, dia tuh bener2 gak deket, bahkan susah kalo mau dibilang temen. Kita cuman sempat ngobrol beberapa kalimat selama kerja bareng setahun. Dan taulah, kalo orang gak kenal ngobrolnya apa.
A: Tinggal dimana?
B: Disini.
A: Oh.
~ Diem ~
A: Gue punya temen tinggal deket situ.
B: Ohya? Bagian mana?
A: Disitu.
B: Oh.
~ Diem ~
A&B : Cuaca bagus ya..
Emang sih, banyak pula orang baru kenal yang ngobrolnya nyambung. Tapi sama yang ini, bener2 enggak. Makanya gue kaget juga ketika dia telpon besoknya dan besoknya lagi ngajakin kita makan malem bareng. Emang sih waktu itu kebetulan kita juga lagi gak sempet, cuman sebenarnya juga berasa bingung juga, kalo ketemu, mau ngapain? Apa dia sekedar respect janji buat keep in touch dan dia juga sebenarnya ogah?
Begitulah begitulah.
Senen - nguantuk beruat!
____________________________________________________________________________________
Personally I like short words and vulgar fractions.
- Sir Winston Churchill
If I Promise to miss you ... Will you go away?
- Anonymous
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
- Beau Brummel
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns.
I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
- Tommy Cooper
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Been A While
Been a while.
Last week I read news posted in scuba forum, about Fish. Yes, if the world is going on like this, 50 years from now there will be no fish in the ocean. I thought it must have been some useless post from some Greenpeacer thingy, then I heard it from the radio, and from the news in TV.
When we dive, we see school of fish from time to time, although only in good dive sites we can see thick school and cloud or fish soup. I remember I thought, there are so many fish, but there are also so many human. How could it be enough for all? Fish have their own problem, their own food chain, and human came in as the top in the food chain from small number, until now, when the fishing industry has become easy and modern.
Some dive spot, like the ones in West Malaysia, we could see deserted sea. Not many fish and the whole area sometimes just like being washed away. No color, no life, and I admit, one time, I got bored with the dive.
It’s amazing how human can put so much destruction. Everyone have a part. Even divers, who actually have to care about the environment for their leisure, contribute good deal of destructions. New divers, irresponsible divers, stupid divers, touch coral and marine life as they want it, or kicking their fins everywhere their want and harass animal. People poaching and using bomb or cyanide to harvest fish, or fisherman who cut fins from shark. Of course that goes on, consumers, buyers, traders, nobody can say they don’t play a part.
I always feel that I live in the wrong time. I graduated from my major Architecture, and all of sudden all the jobs related were difficult to find. They said, a year ago or so it was a very good and easy profession, that’s what I heard when I went into the Uni too.
Not only that, many things, I’m always too late.
At work, they say, previous years, we have this and that amount of bonus. It was a good year. But it never be good year in present.
So does diving industry. I have heard many many times, when the local just look at the cloud and say, Last time, we could see this and that type of fish here, but now there are no more.
I come to wonder, why am I always too late? Can’t the fish or the industry or the good things wait for me? *I can’t out grown my self here!*
But then again, it’s not only good thing that I miss. Every generation, every body, feel something is too much or missing from their time. How many times have you heard your friends or yourself say that the generation now is very much different from us. Kids are spoilt, they use handphone since they start talking, they can afford fast food for all their meals, and parents go making scene at school when their children are being bitten by mosquito.
While us, coins inside the camera film bottle is our asset to communications, between friends, lovers, letter and paper. Nobody really worried if we fall or come back home with bruises and blue black patch. We’d be lucky enough not to get extra helping.
But then again, just when we thought we are the tougher generation, our elders step in and say that we are spoilt. At their times, communication means See you in ten years, or when the pony express manage to deliver my letter through the Indian valley and cowboy robber. They come home with broken leg after falling down from a tree, and were told to fill the water tank from the river 2 kilometers from home.
Maybe, there never is a good perfect timing for everyone.
I might be lucky enough to see this type of fish occasionally now, while in the past, divers can see it anytime. How about future? Maybe my grandchildren won’t know what is fish.
But I still always think we are living in uncertain time, in the worst time of the earth. Human is destroying machine in every aspects. When war, pollution and destruction have taken toll and human are being punished from the impacts.
It’s the time when everything is almost gone but still there, so human start to think that instead of destroying, they have to conserve. So, hopefully, the future is when the turning back happens, when human and nature really take care of each other.
So it should be better world, shouldn’t it?
I do hope that we are living in the worst time. It’s both optimistic and pessimistic.
Or is it true what the old saying says, Earth start with no human, and end with no human too?
Because they destroy each other and destroy everything else.
___________________________________________________________________________________
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
- Douglas Adams
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.
- Lynda Montgomery
- Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
- The fact that man knows right from the wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain
Last week I read news posted in scuba forum, about Fish. Yes, if the world is going on like this, 50 years from now there will be no fish in the ocean. I thought it must have been some useless post from some Greenpeacer thingy, then I heard it from the radio, and from the news in TV.
When we dive, we see school of fish from time to time, although only in good dive sites we can see thick school and cloud or fish soup. I remember I thought, there are so many fish, but there are also so many human. How could it be enough for all? Fish have their own problem, their own food chain, and human came in as the top in the food chain from small number, until now, when the fishing industry has become easy and modern.
Some dive spot, like the ones in West Malaysia, we could see deserted sea. Not many fish and the whole area sometimes just like being washed away. No color, no life, and I admit, one time, I got bored with the dive.
It’s amazing how human can put so much destruction. Everyone have a part. Even divers, who actually have to care about the environment for their leisure, contribute good deal of destructions. New divers, irresponsible divers, stupid divers, touch coral and marine life as they want it, or kicking their fins everywhere their want and harass animal. People poaching and using bomb or cyanide to harvest fish, or fisherman who cut fins from shark. Of course that goes on, consumers, buyers, traders, nobody can say they don’t play a part.
I always feel that I live in the wrong time. I graduated from my major Architecture, and all of sudden all the jobs related were difficult to find. They said, a year ago or so it was a very good and easy profession, that’s what I heard when I went into the Uni too.
Not only that, many things, I’m always too late.
At work, they say, previous years, we have this and that amount of bonus. It was a good year. But it never be good year in present.
So does diving industry. I have heard many many times, when the local just look at the cloud and say, Last time, we could see this and that type of fish here, but now there are no more.
I come to wonder, why am I always too late? Can’t the fish or the industry or the good things wait for me? *I can’t out grown my self here!*
But then again, it’s not only good thing that I miss. Every generation, every body, feel something is too much or missing from their time. How many times have you heard your friends or yourself say that the generation now is very much different from us. Kids are spoilt, they use handphone since they start talking, they can afford fast food for all their meals, and parents go making scene at school when their children are being bitten by mosquito.
While us, coins inside the camera film bottle is our asset to communications, between friends, lovers, letter and paper. Nobody really worried if we fall or come back home with bruises and blue black patch. We’d be lucky enough not to get extra helping.
But then again, just when we thought we are the tougher generation, our elders step in and say that we are spoilt. At their times, communication means See you in ten years, or when the pony express manage to deliver my letter through the Indian valley and cowboy robber. They come home with broken leg after falling down from a tree, and were told to fill the water tank from the river 2 kilometers from home.
Maybe, there never is a good perfect timing for everyone.
I might be lucky enough to see this type of fish occasionally now, while in the past, divers can see it anytime. How about future? Maybe my grandchildren won’t know what is fish.
But I still always think we are living in uncertain time, in the worst time of the earth. Human is destroying machine in every aspects. When war, pollution and destruction have taken toll and human are being punished from the impacts.
It’s the time when everything is almost gone but still there, so human start to think that instead of destroying, they have to conserve. So, hopefully, the future is when the turning back happens, when human and nature really take care of each other.
So it should be better world, shouldn’t it?
I do hope that we are living in the worst time. It’s both optimistic and pessimistic.
Or is it true what the old saying says, Earth start with no human, and end with no human too?
Because they destroy each other and destroy everything else.
___________________________________________________________________________________
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
- Douglas Adams
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.
- Lynda Montgomery
- Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
- The fact that man knows right from the wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain
Komodo-Land of The Fork Tongue
Click here
http://apingpingaa-komodo oct2006.blogspot.com
or there links on the right --------------------------->
my story and picture about Komodo Island.
Took me weeks to prepare, finally I gave up!
Have to post!
:)
http://apingpingaa-komodo oct2006.blogspot.com
or there links on the right --------------------------->
my story and picture about Komodo Island.
Took me weeks to prepare, finally I gave up!
Have to post!
:)
Monday, October 09, 2006
Gabra
Weekend has passed again. I bailed out my last weekend to prepare for my trip, and went to Genting Highlands with my parents.
The thing is, my mother in law had moved in with us, because Hubby is her only family and he has to support her. She is a kind person, I just need sometime to get used to her presence. I do hope it works well.
Last week was just not my week. I had to face big decisions about some things and accepting news about some other things too. All major problems. Sigh. Pret. To be hyperbolic, bled me dry. Ha! Now I don’t want to think about it a second more.
So, at least, a short getaway can do wonder when it comes on time.
Okay, one and a half day of shopping and relaxing, I had a bit of on and off moment on the journey back alone. From the non-existent seat, I bought a coach ticket, but on my seat number, the chair was gone. Physically gone, so I went through bus changing etc, met fellow passenger whose hobby was to go to restroom only when everyone were ready inside the couch, and another bus changing because the previous bus dumped us, and the last, first time experience catching city bus from the border line when the clock hit midnight. Gabra.
So I have only three nights left to buy things I want to buy for my trip. From the list I made, the things are indeed divided into three main areas, so it’s pretty much decide what would be our programs.
At this moment, I am exhausted and really really looking forward to the holiday.
Hopefully I’ll come back recharged.
Thursdayyyyy, are we there yeeeet…!
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
- David Letterman
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
- Murphy’s Law
I always get the better when I argue alone.
- Oliver Goldsmith
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Jimmy Carter
The thing is, my mother in law had moved in with us, because Hubby is her only family and he has to support her. She is a kind person, I just need sometime to get used to her presence. I do hope it works well.
Last week was just not my week. I had to face big decisions about some things and accepting news about some other things too. All major problems. Sigh. Pret. To be hyperbolic, bled me dry. Ha! Now I don’t want to think about it a second more.
So, at least, a short getaway can do wonder when it comes on time.
Okay, one and a half day of shopping and relaxing, I had a bit of on and off moment on the journey back alone. From the non-existent seat, I bought a coach ticket, but on my seat number, the chair was gone. Physically gone, so I went through bus changing etc, met fellow passenger whose hobby was to go to restroom only when everyone were ready inside the couch, and another bus changing because the previous bus dumped us, and the last, first time experience catching city bus from the border line when the clock hit midnight. Gabra.
So I have only three nights left to buy things I want to buy for my trip. From the list I made, the things are indeed divided into three main areas, so it’s pretty much decide what would be our programs.
At this moment, I am exhausted and really really looking forward to the holiday.
Hopefully I’ll come back recharged.
Thursdayyyyy, are we there yeeeet…!
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
- David Letterman
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
- Murphy’s Law
I always get the better when I argue alone.
- Oliver Goldsmith
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Jimmy Carter
Friday, October 06, 2006
Fishy Cleaner
(P.S: There are some problem with the image uploading, so I use links)
When I read a dive journey from Scuba Forum I visit frequently, I caught a story of cleaner fish. The writer was told by the Dive Master to observe a purple fish dancing on the reef; apparently it was a cleaner fish doing advertising for its service.
I was interested to find out more, so I went for some quick Google Search and found very fascinating stories about this species of fish.
I knew about cleaner fish and cleaner shrimp before, but I always associate cleaner fish only with remora, those bigger black and white stripe or grey fish with fat head, they are mostly found attached to big fish like sharks, turtles and…., divers.
Many times during the dives, this remora would try to attach itself to our back, tank, thigh and I saw it trying to get inside my friend’s short when he was diving with short and shirt. Of course we chased the molester away.
Remora:
http://i12.tinypic.com/43gmrud.jpg
Because I’m curious about the purple color the writer mentioned, from the search I found out that cleaner fish actually consist of many species of fish.
Other cleaner's pictures:
Cleaner shrimp on Angelfish:
http://i12.tinypic.com/2hwnok8.jpg
Purple and Yellow cleaner between clients:
http://i12.tinypic.com/4cvm8p5.jpg
Black and White Stripe:
http://i12.tinypic.com/30cvsyh.jpg
Black and Yellow cleaner fish:
http://i12.tinypic.com/4c3hkex.jpg
Fangblenny (the fake!)
http://i12.tinypic.com/2m7x285.jpg
This yellow and black stripe fish, adult size are less than 10 cm, I liked to observed them from a very close range because I thought they are fangblenny, the type of goby I like to see. In Asia Water, we can see this type of cleaner almost everywhere, I sometime spent few minutes only to look at the face of that fish, as I was trying to find the fangblenny smile, cleaner fish doesn’t smile, but fangblenny yes, because actually, my favorite fangblenny is a nasty nasty type of fish, I’ll explain later.
For diving, we have season about where, when and what to see in some particular diving spot. For example, in Bali, we have to pay more to specially visit Manta Point, because we want to see manta ray. And why? Because Manta Point is the cleaning station for manta ray so we are most likely to find them there. Also, when we do weekend dives in West Malaysia, during the ‘almost monsoon’ period, actually around now, October, some divers had reported that they saw manta, which is very rare, because it’s their cleaning season.
Now I understand fully what is cleaning season. I always thought that it’s the time when water is rich with plankton, therefore manta comes. But seems like it has more to it.
So, back to cleaner fish.
Cleaner fish provide cleaning service to their client (fish). They usually do their advertising and the client will come to try their service or the client will purposely look for cleaner fish when they feel they need some shower.
For the statistic, one cleaner fish can clean up to 2500 client per day and eat about 1200 parasites per day. Seems to me that fish are not very hygienic species, they can get a lot of parasites on the skin, some species seek for cleaner about 150 times a day and if they can’t find cleaner, they can have five times the number of parasites within short period of time and growing.
For client who needs the salon service, they will position themselves weirdly, like hovering with their head down and stand still, then the cleaner will come and inspect them. For cleaner who want some client, they will do some dancing movement or approach the client and touch them to let them know that “Don’t eat me, I want to clean you.”
So that is mostly the business going on.
But there are many funny facts that keep me smiling and enjoy my ..ehm..research.
If there are many clients at the same time, the clients would have to queue, bigger and stronger client will try to cut queue by chasing others away. But of course, the cleaner will decide which one it wants to serve first. They usually pick those most infected fish = more food, or more tasty fish, or they can pick the client they familiar with.
Yes, they recognize.
I said more tasty, that is for cheater cleaner.
Cheat is when the cleaner, instead of picking the parasites, they bite the client skin. Apparently, it’s tastier. The consequences, the client will not use this particular cleaner service anymore, and to punish them, they will chase the cleaner. I would borrow one researcher saying, Imagine that you chase you hairdresser around the block because they cut your ear.
But cleaner fish don’t anyhow cheat, because they actually care about their reputation and image. Some experiments conclude that cleaners do a much better job when there are other clients around, because the clients observe the work quality of the cleaner, and that’s how they decide which cleaner they allow to service them.
The clients can cheat too, it’s obvious, by eating the cleaner, anyway, they are fish also. But client also don’t anyhow cheat, because they need the service. So this familiarity, reputation and mutual relationship amazed me a lot.
The rule not to eat cleaner also apply for carnivore fish, they even open their mouth for the cleaner fish or shrimp to clean, a very risky game for the cleaner, isn’t it? When they fish the cleaning is done, they jerk their body to let the cleaner know it’s time to leave.
Cleaner fish do a much better job when they serve picky or ‘overseas’ customer, which is very real if we associate it with human being. There are so called resident fish who stay on the same reef (therefore they only have access to one saloon) and commuter fish who move, travel and have access to many cleaning station. And amazingly enough, they recognize good service and they will come back if they found one.
When I thought I have read everything amusing, I found this.
It seems that some fish discover this idea that cleaner fish are considered safe from predator, and they want that privileges too, but they can’t do the cleaning to be one. So, what they do is quite nasty, they mimic as cleaner species; the prominent one is this fangblenny I told you about. Not only fish, I was even fooled until now. (Okay, okay, I know what comparison that I made).
Because of their similar physical appearance, fangblenny fool the fish to think that they are cleaner and provide cleaning service. When the fish approach them to be cleaned, they bite the tasty skin of the fish and run to their nest, commonly they stay inside small holes in the coral. They get easy food.
But because of this nasty habit of Fangblenny, the cleaner fish of the same appearance tend to have less clients and get eaten more often than other cleaner species. Huh. Look what my favorite fish has done.
No wonder when I tried to look at this cleaner, they were friendly enough not to run away and twice, they tried to clean my mask and my gloves.
Clean divers? Yes, they do too, I saw pictures about cleaner shrimp working on diver’s teeth and nails, but they don’t like neoprene, material used for wetsuit, except remora, the molester (!)
________________________________________________________________________
When turkey mate they think of swans.
- Johnny Carson
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cat look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
Mankins differs from the animals only by a little-and most people throw that away.
- Confucius
Animals have these advantages over man…they have no theologians to instruct them,…their funeral cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
- Voltaire
When I read a dive journey from Scuba Forum I visit frequently, I caught a story of cleaner fish. The writer was told by the Dive Master to observe a purple fish dancing on the reef; apparently it was a cleaner fish doing advertising for its service.
I was interested to find out more, so I went for some quick Google Search and found very fascinating stories about this species of fish.
I knew about cleaner fish and cleaner shrimp before, but I always associate cleaner fish only with remora, those bigger black and white stripe or grey fish with fat head, they are mostly found attached to big fish like sharks, turtles and…., divers.
Many times during the dives, this remora would try to attach itself to our back, tank, thigh and I saw it trying to get inside my friend’s short when he was diving with short and shirt. Of course we chased the molester away.
Remora:
http://i12.tinypic.com/43gmrud.jpg
Because I’m curious about the purple color the writer mentioned, from the search I found out that cleaner fish actually consist of many species of fish.
Other cleaner's pictures:
Cleaner shrimp on Angelfish:
http://i12.tinypic.com/2hwnok8.jpg
Purple and Yellow cleaner between clients:
http://i12.tinypic.com/4cvm8p5.jpg
Black and White Stripe:
http://i12.tinypic.com/30cvsyh.jpg
Black and Yellow cleaner fish:
http://i12.tinypic.com/4c3hkex.jpg
Fangblenny (the fake!)
http://i12.tinypic.com/2m7x285.jpg
This yellow and black stripe fish, adult size are less than 10 cm, I liked to observed them from a very close range because I thought they are fangblenny, the type of goby I like to see. In Asia Water, we can see this type of cleaner almost everywhere, I sometime spent few minutes only to look at the face of that fish, as I was trying to find the fangblenny smile, cleaner fish doesn’t smile, but fangblenny yes, because actually, my favorite fangblenny is a nasty nasty type of fish, I’ll explain later.
For diving, we have season about where, when and what to see in some particular diving spot. For example, in Bali, we have to pay more to specially visit Manta Point, because we want to see manta ray. And why? Because Manta Point is the cleaning station for manta ray so we are most likely to find them there. Also, when we do weekend dives in West Malaysia, during the ‘almost monsoon’ period, actually around now, October, some divers had reported that they saw manta, which is very rare, because it’s their cleaning season.
Now I understand fully what is cleaning season. I always thought that it’s the time when water is rich with plankton, therefore manta comes. But seems like it has more to it.
So, back to cleaner fish.
Cleaner fish provide cleaning service to their client (fish). They usually do their advertising and the client will come to try their service or the client will purposely look for cleaner fish when they feel they need some shower.
For the statistic, one cleaner fish can clean up to 2500 client per day and eat about 1200 parasites per day. Seems to me that fish are not very hygienic species, they can get a lot of parasites on the skin, some species seek for cleaner about 150 times a day and if they can’t find cleaner, they can have five times the number of parasites within short period of time and growing.
For client who needs the salon service, they will position themselves weirdly, like hovering with their head down and stand still, then the cleaner will come and inspect them. For cleaner who want some client, they will do some dancing movement or approach the client and touch them to let them know that “Don’t eat me, I want to clean you.”
So that is mostly the business going on.
But there are many funny facts that keep me smiling and enjoy my ..ehm..research.
If there are many clients at the same time, the clients would have to queue, bigger and stronger client will try to cut queue by chasing others away. But of course, the cleaner will decide which one it wants to serve first. They usually pick those most infected fish = more food, or more tasty fish, or they can pick the client they familiar with.
Yes, they recognize.
I said more tasty, that is for cheater cleaner.
Cheat is when the cleaner, instead of picking the parasites, they bite the client skin. Apparently, it’s tastier. The consequences, the client will not use this particular cleaner service anymore, and to punish them, they will chase the cleaner. I would borrow one researcher saying, Imagine that you chase you hairdresser around the block because they cut your ear.
But cleaner fish don’t anyhow cheat, because they actually care about their reputation and image. Some experiments conclude that cleaners do a much better job when there are other clients around, because the clients observe the work quality of the cleaner, and that’s how they decide which cleaner they allow to service them.
The clients can cheat too, it’s obvious, by eating the cleaner, anyway, they are fish also. But client also don’t anyhow cheat, because they need the service. So this familiarity, reputation and mutual relationship amazed me a lot.
The rule not to eat cleaner also apply for carnivore fish, they even open their mouth for the cleaner fish or shrimp to clean, a very risky game for the cleaner, isn’t it? When they fish the cleaning is done, they jerk their body to let the cleaner know it’s time to leave.
Cleaner fish do a much better job when they serve picky or ‘overseas’ customer, which is very real if we associate it with human being. There are so called resident fish who stay on the same reef (therefore they only have access to one saloon) and commuter fish who move, travel and have access to many cleaning station. And amazingly enough, they recognize good service and they will come back if they found one.
When I thought I have read everything amusing, I found this.
It seems that some fish discover this idea that cleaner fish are considered safe from predator, and they want that privileges too, but they can’t do the cleaning to be one. So, what they do is quite nasty, they mimic as cleaner species; the prominent one is this fangblenny I told you about. Not only fish, I was even fooled until now. (Okay, okay, I know what comparison that I made).
Because of their similar physical appearance, fangblenny fool the fish to think that they are cleaner and provide cleaning service. When the fish approach them to be cleaned, they bite the tasty skin of the fish and run to their nest, commonly they stay inside small holes in the coral. They get easy food.
But because of this nasty habit of Fangblenny, the cleaner fish of the same appearance tend to have less clients and get eaten more often than other cleaner species. Huh. Look what my favorite fish has done.
No wonder when I tried to look at this cleaner, they were friendly enough not to run away and twice, they tried to clean my mask and my gloves.
Clean divers? Yes, they do too, I saw pictures about cleaner shrimp working on diver’s teeth and nails, but they don’t like neoprene, material used for wetsuit, except remora, the molester (!)
________________________________________________________________________
When turkey mate they think of swans.
- Johnny Carson
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cat look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
Mankins differs from the animals only by a little-and most people throw that away.
- Confucius
Animals have these advantages over man…they have no theologians to instruct them,…their funeral cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
- Voltaire
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Huayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
There have been many many twists playing through my life these two weeks.
It kind of drive me half crazy.
How can I write?
It kind of drive me half crazy.
How can I write?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Long Time No See
Karena banyak repot dan kocar-kacir, udah lama gue gak nulis deh.
Banyak juga kejadian2 kecil2 ciprit2 selama dua tiga minggu ini ampe yang besar, sedih dan heppie.
Kejadian kecil ciprit itu contohnya gue kepeleset, dan kepeleset lagi, baik ditengah pasar dimana yang ngeliat ibu-ibu dan bapak-bapak yang gue kagak peduli apa kata mereka, sampe di lobby kantor dimana yang ngeliat adalah orang2 muda. Untungnya berbekal dunia persilatan, gue gak ampe nyium lantai tapi agak2 split aja. :) Agak doang kok. Pernah juga sekali terpeleset dengan memalukan, soalnya kalo jalan, gue suka masukin tangan ke saku dan maen2in isi saku, maksudnya koin gitu, dan pas lagi maen2, gue kepeleset dan koinnya berhamburan semua, apesnya, kejadiannya di lobby gedung kantor dan kebetulan ada kunyuk sekantor lagi lewat.
Malu banget, sejak itu, …gue maen2 koin kalo kelihatan gak licin aja. Dan benernya gue heran, kok jarang ada makhluk laen yang kepeleset, bahkan banyak nenek-nenek lincah disaat hujan, dari segala cara, segala sepatu, tetap aja gue dimusuhin lantai becek.
Kejadian besar yang menyedihkan adalah paman ketiga gue dari pihak bokap meninggal dunia. Tapi yang sedih bokap, gue gak begitu sering ketemu. Emang lagi banyak kejadian2 gak beruntung diantara kerabat2 gue.
Makanya, makanya, hidup itu rapuh. Mari senang2 selagi sehat. : )
Kejadian besar yang heppie ya ada lagi yang merid dikeluarga, kali ini keluarga Hubby. So, gue harus berhadapan dengan ‘gerombolan keluarga’ yang masih agak asing.
Gue liat, cewek kalo merid, termasuk gue, pasti end up nangis. Kenapa yah? Katanya heppie…terutama pas pendeta, pastor, dukun atau siapapun yang ngawinin bilang itu saatnya berterima kasih dan bilang bye bye sama orang tua. E…enak aja, kapanpun kan mereka tetap orang tua, makanya kita mewek. Lagian rese amat.
Tapi kayaknya, biarpun bukan kawinan gue, gue masih agak2 terharu biru, biar kata itu kawinan orang, orang tua orang dsb dsb. Kayaknya gue kasihan sama yang namanya orang tua. Udah capek2 ngebesarin, trus kawin dan punya keluarga sendiri, sementara kita encok-encok… Tapi begitulah. Begitulah?
Kejadian heppie laen tentunya ngumpul2 sama keluarga lagi, keluarga kita yang membengkak dengan mantu2 dan anak-anak kecil jadi makin rame, ponakan gue yang pertama udah gede, empat tahun dan udah bongsor. Pagi2 gue ikut nganterin ke sekolah dan melihat berbagai kegiatan. Dari baris berbaris, nyanyi-nyanyi, loncat2 sampai anak2besar yang menunggangi anak yang lebih kecil, tapi begitu anak kecilnya marah, yang besar nangis. Idih. : ) Yang pasti, begitu semuanya diberendengin, lucu2 banget dengan seragamnya. Hmm..
Selain itu, bonusnya, gue juga ketemu temen2 kuliah. Semuanya masih sama2 aja, rame dan jail, senang sekali ketemuan setelah sekian lama. Friends keep us young. : ) Seandainya saja bisa ngumpul lebih sering.
Sedih juga gak sempat ketemu temen2 SMA, padahal temen baek gue lagi di Jakarta, cuman setelah gue bebas dari kawinan, dianya diluar Jakarta. Karena keterbatasan waktu menelpon dan kurangnya sarana prasarana, gue gak sempat nelponin mereka. Habis gimana, rata2 udah punya anak dan gue baru bisa nelpon malam2 buta-buta…
Tentu saja, di Jakarta gue banyak icip2 makanan yang gue kangenin. Dan sempet pula gue ke pasar2an walau bukan pasar beneran. Rada aneh, gue enjoy jalan2 ke pasar dari dulu, buat liat-liat atau buat beli-beli.
Buat minggu2 kedepan, gue akan siap-siap dan beli2 keperluan buat perjalanan ke Pulau Komodo, yang bakal jadi perjalanan paling aneh, paling terpencil, paling unik, paling kacau dan mungkin perjalanan panjang terakhir buat sementara. Duh.
Let’s have fun with Bumper Stickers:
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
I may be fat, but you're ugly – And I can diet.
i souport publik edekasion
I’m Just Driving This Way To Piss You Off.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Lord, please save me from your followers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
Banyak juga kejadian2 kecil2 ciprit2 selama dua tiga minggu ini ampe yang besar, sedih dan heppie.
Kejadian kecil ciprit itu contohnya gue kepeleset, dan kepeleset lagi, baik ditengah pasar dimana yang ngeliat ibu-ibu dan bapak-bapak yang gue kagak peduli apa kata mereka, sampe di lobby kantor dimana yang ngeliat adalah orang2 muda. Untungnya berbekal dunia persilatan, gue gak ampe nyium lantai tapi agak2 split aja. :) Agak doang kok. Pernah juga sekali terpeleset dengan memalukan, soalnya kalo jalan, gue suka masukin tangan ke saku dan maen2in isi saku, maksudnya koin gitu, dan pas lagi maen2, gue kepeleset dan koinnya berhamburan semua, apesnya, kejadiannya di lobby gedung kantor dan kebetulan ada kunyuk sekantor lagi lewat.
Malu banget, sejak itu, …gue maen2 koin kalo kelihatan gak licin aja. Dan benernya gue heran, kok jarang ada makhluk laen yang kepeleset, bahkan banyak nenek-nenek lincah disaat hujan, dari segala cara, segala sepatu, tetap aja gue dimusuhin lantai becek.
Kejadian besar yang menyedihkan adalah paman ketiga gue dari pihak bokap meninggal dunia. Tapi yang sedih bokap, gue gak begitu sering ketemu. Emang lagi banyak kejadian2 gak beruntung diantara kerabat2 gue.
Makanya, makanya, hidup itu rapuh. Mari senang2 selagi sehat. : )
Kejadian besar yang heppie ya ada lagi yang merid dikeluarga, kali ini keluarga Hubby. So, gue harus berhadapan dengan ‘gerombolan keluarga’ yang masih agak asing.
Gue liat, cewek kalo merid, termasuk gue, pasti end up nangis. Kenapa yah? Katanya heppie…terutama pas pendeta, pastor, dukun atau siapapun yang ngawinin bilang itu saatnya berterima kasih dan bilang bye bye sama orang tua. E…enak aja, kapanpun kan mereka tetap orang tua, makanya kita mewek. Lagian rese amat.
Tapi kayaknya, biarpun bukan kawinan gue, gue masih agak2 terharu biru, biar kata itu kawinan orang, orang tua orang dsb dsb. Kayaknya gue kasihan sama yang namanya orang tua. Udah capek2 ngebesarin, trus kawin dan punya keluarga sendiri, sementara kita encok-encok… Tapi begitulah. Begitulah?
Kejadian heppie laen tentunya ngumpul2 sama keluarga lagi, keluarga kita yang membengkak dengan mantu2 dan anak-anak kecil jadi makin rame, ponakan gue yang pertama udah gede, empat tahun dan udah bongsor. Pagi2 gue ikut nganterin ke sekolah dan melihat berbagai kegiatan. Dari baris berbaris, nyanyi-nyanyi, loncat2 sampai anak2besar yang menunggangi anak yang lebih kecil, tapi begitu anak kecilnya marah, yang besar nangis. Idih. : ) Yang pasti, begitu semuanya diberendengin, lucu2 banget dengan seragamnya. Hmm..
Selain itu, bonusnya, gue juga ketemu temen2 kuliah. Semuanya masih sama2 aja, rame dan jail, senang sekali ketemuan setelah sekian lama. Friends keep us young. : ) Seandainya saja bisa ngumpul lebih sering.
Sedih juga gak sempat ketemu temen2 SMA, padahal temen baek gue lagi di Jakarta, cuman setelah gue bebas dari kawinan, dianya diluar Jakarta. Karena keterbatasan waktu menelpon dan kurangnya sarana prasarana, gue gak sempat nelponin mereka. Habis gimana, rata2 udah punya anak dan gue baru bisa nelpon malam2 buta-buta…
Tentu saja, di Jakarta gue banyak icip2 makanan yang gue kangenin. Dan sempet pula gue ke pasar2an walau bukan pasar beneran. Rada aneh, gue enjoy jalan2 ke pasar dari dulu, buat liat-liat atau buat beli-beli.
Buat minggu2 kedepan, gue akan siap-siap dan beli2 keperluan buat perjalanan ke Pulau Komodo, yang bakal jadi perjalanan paling aneh, paling terpencil, paling unik, paling kacau dan mungkin perjalanan panjang terakhir buat sementara. Duh.
Let’s have fun with Bumper Stickers:
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
I may be fat, but you're ugly – And I can diet.
i souport publik edekasion
I’m Just Driving This Way To Piss You Off.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Lord, please save me from your followers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
A Remembrance
The day I heard the news about Steve Irwin from radio, I was quite surprised. It was a regrettable accident and hopefully no one should exploit it to respect himself and family..
Although some call him crazy because of the way he took the risks involving wildlife, imo, he definitely knew what he did. He loved and lived for the nature and contributed a great deal to it, he will be missed by wildlife community.
And what else is more fulfilling than die doing what you love to do and be remembered by the world?
____________________________________________________________________________
It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives.
Samuel Johnson
Although some call him crazy because of the way he took the risks involving wildlife, imo, he definitely knew what he did. He loved and lived for the nature and contributed a great deal to it, he will be missed by wildlife community.
And what else is more fulfilling than die doing what you love to do and be remembered by the world?
____________________________________________________________________________
It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives.
Samuel Johnson
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Be A Man, Man!
Along the century, since the time of Dinasty Chong Ching Chang, men always complain that they don’t understand woman.
They don’t understand why ‘I’m OK’ means the opposite, why whatever their size they would ask ‘Am I fat?’, why every men should have a little bit of mind reading psychic instead of perfectly working ear etc etc etc…
To put aside all the –sometimes- unfair accusation, personally, I also find men are also difficult to understand. Some say, they say, reading a man’s mind is like reading a book, loud and clear, OK means OK, promise means promise, deer means deer, fat means fat. Lucky, most of the men I know are inside that category, but some are fall outside the space into the black hole and they never fail to amuse me – mostly in negative way.
Nobody needs to jump into self-defense here, if you disagree, just think that you fall into the better category. Sometimes when a group of male friends do some ladies bashing, maybe about girlfriend, typical women, bla blah blah, after all the awful gender accusation, when I protest, they only need to say, Not you, you are in another category. Then I don’t have much to say, what can I say? It’s better to accept that I’m not what they are talking about or if I talk more, I’d fall into one of the accusation, cerewet. Anyway, I am easy to please. : )
But, but when I also try to defend others, like I said many of my friends don’t do that either ..etc, they’d say either you are a group of rare breed or you are alien in disguise. Ah.
So, these are my accusations that men are not as cool as they think, other than Hubby of course, hehehe…, but this is limited to my..ops..29 years experience, enough lah!
1. Same as woman, man gossips.
Some men, when they feel comfortable, do talk about other people. Their favorite topic is surprise, surprise, other men. They are picky about men that doesn’t belong to their category (such as what woman do), manly men (or so they think) would pick on girly man, Casanova or men with attitude.
Beside that, they can gossip about other things too, like people’s behavior in public, unpleasant colleagues just like women, so they are human.
The difference is, if you gossiped with a woman, you can see that she would try to add in some fuel to the fire, or spice to the food, so if you gossip or complain to a woman, you’d get additional help.
If you gossiped with a man, they would give the same examples or experiences but they hardly help you cook.
The pro, gossiping with a woman will reduce your guilt if you despising someone, because they make you feel you are really right by supporting you. Gossiping with a man will make you feel that the situation is not as bad as you think.
2. What they like, and what they don’t like, sometimes men can be very confusing. Like woman, they have mood swing. You can see a woman happy and cheery but when something happen, she would be the most unpleasant creature on earth; it can be a matter of seconds. I know at least I’m capable of that. Two days ago, I was happy and smiley and ready to give teddy bear to anyone, then my computer refused to do what it supposes to do. Once, twice, and the forth time I’m ready to throw it away – to someone – whoever that pass my table and be friendly.
Or when PMS struck, everything is wrong, everyone is ugly, every kid is deserve to be in cage, nothing is funny and life is suck. But when the culprit finally arrives, Hey, beautiful weather, what a cute kid with their tiny shoes etc etc.
# Maybe we are Hulk #.
Eits, men are the same. But maybe, not so obvious. I found that something that doesn’t offend them one time, can offend them another time, so it’s quite difficult to guess what is ok and not ok sometimes. I just offended a friend yesterday, by saying what was popping to my mind without thinking. To my surprise it offended him and it made me feel very bad. But the good thing is, for most of the man, they are very very good in forgive and forget, one thing that women never able to compete. So when I expressed my regret, he was accepting it warmly, not only that but he could also look back and blamed his own mood. This is one of the things that makes me feel that become a friend to men are much more easy. It can be, very, very tiring to be friend with female when one mistake can destroy the friendship easily. Lucky, most of my female friends have enough testosterone level to balance and become great ones.
3. If women are sensitive, sometimes too sensitive, some men can be *******ly sensitive.
At least I have two colleagues who can be my pain in the ass. I don’t even know when or how I offended them in the past, it seems like they are scared of me and take extra effort and precaution when talking to me and after what they need to do with me is done, they run away. When I tried to think back about the things I might have done, I can’t find anything except I was being honest or maybe, I talked in a bit rush manner (I was in the rush) so I didn’t really pay attention to what they asked. But FGS, the question that the asked was a yes or no question, what was I suppose to do, write a story to answer it? Or give a huge smile and asking how their day while my computer is crashing? It’s ridiculous. I can't even think of a woman who would feel offended by something like that.
Amppuuuun. Ampuuuun. Ampuuuun. I’m really really scared with this breed of man.
4. If women can be whiny. Have you ever met whiny man?
I had one colleague like that, and although sometimes he could be quite entertaining, some other time all I wanted is to scream and pushed his head to the wall, Shut Upppp Shut Upppp Shut UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!. Dogol.
One of the examples to this kind is Jerry Seinfeld character, he is SO whiny!
Maybe most women, including me, are still traditional and like to think that men are suppose to be someone to lean on when things go the wrong way. We still hope that they are the rational ones and handle thing with hands rather than mouth.
Allow us to have that mouth part, please. :D
5. If cerewet is associated with women only,...
I might consider marching in the street.
I have three male colleagues who fall in this category (I start to think, why I can find all male samples in my office alone?).
One is a fun type of cerewet. He likes to visit everyone and could talk at least half an hour. He could talk about anything, from discount shops in Hongkong to why doggy like to lick their thing.
Two is a cerewet preacher. A good preacher is the one who knows how to make fun and criticize of his/herself too or his own beliefs and never look down on other's. But good preacher is very very rare, let’s say from ten over years I attend church, I’m impressed with two, TWO preachers only. Seminaries are different kind of preachers, many of them have charm and interesting, but when they start to promote something, that’s the end of it.
Okay, just like women, men can preach about anything. If aunties are highly avoided in family occasions, so do uncles.
My colleague in this type wanted to give me a private one-to-one church to save me from burning in hell when I happened to say, in between lunch meal, that I’m not a very devoted Christian from Every-Sunday-go-to-Church department. Lucky I was able to spot this type very well and ran like (hell).
The third type is the talkative one, whether anybody interested or not. Whether you body language rejects him or not, or even go away hand sign, as long as he can see you, he talks. If one is unlucky enough to say no, like yesterday, I saw my other colleague had to endure his ears while this breed talked for hours while he only said Uh Ah Hah with Kill Me Please look, until, finally, big boss came in and for the first time, she was a savior.
So, for all the men in the world. The remark that all men are heartless, can’t be trust, gatelan, cheater (ask broken-hearted women please) is enough.
Don’t take our women-associated negative expertise away please. ;p
_______________________________________________________________________________
Age and wedlock lames man and beast.
- William Camden
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
- Oscar Wilde
I’m not denying that women are foolish : God Almighty made them to match the men.
- George Eliot, Mary Ann Evans
To be wise and love. Exceeds man’s might.
- William Shakespeare
You asked me if I knew woman. Well, one of the thing I do not know about them is what they talk about while the men are talking. I must find out sometime.
- Edward Franklin Albee
You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be fond of them to love them. Otherwise they’re simply unbearable.
- Marguerite Duras
Some ladies smoke too much and some ladies drink too much and some ladies pray too much. But all ladies think that they weigh too much.
- Ogden Nash
One of the things being in politics has taught me is that men are not a reasoned or reasonable sex.
- Margaret Hilda Thatcher
A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain.
- Oscar Wilde
They don’t understand why ‘I’m OK’ means the opposite, why whatever their size they would ask ‘Am I fat?’, why every men should have a little bit of mind reading psychic instead of perfectly working ear etc etc etc…
To put aside all the –sometimes- unfair accusation, personally, I also find men are also difficult to understand. Some say, they say, reading a man’s mind is like reading a book, loud and clear, OK means OK, promise means promise, deer means deer, fat means fat. Lucky, most of the men I know are inside that category, but some are fall outside the space into the black hole and they never fail to amuse me – mostly in negative way.
Nobody needs to jump into self-defense here, if you disagree, just think that you fall into the better category. Sometimes when a group of male friends do some ladies bashing, maybe about girlfriend, typical women, bla blah blah, after all the awful gender accusation, when I protest, they only need to say, Not you, you are in another category. Then I don’t have much to say, what can I say? It’s better to accept that I’m not what they are talking about or if I talk more, I’d fall into one of the accusation, cerewet. Anyway, I am easy to please. : )
But, but when I also try to defend others, like I said many of my friends don’t do that either ..etc, they’d say either you are a group of rare breed or you are alien in disguise. Ah.
So, these are my accusations that men are not as cool as they think, other than Hubby of course, hehehe…, but this is limited to my..ops..29 years experience, enough lah!
1. Same as woman, man gossips.
Some men, when they feel comfortable, do talk about other people. Their favorite topic is surprise, surprise, other men. They are picky about men that doesn’t belong to their category (such as what woman do), manly men (or so they think) would pick on girly man, Casanova or men with attitude.
Beside that, they can gossip about other things too, like people’s behavior in public, unpleasant colleagues just like women, so they are human.
The difference is, if you gossiped with a woman, you can see that she would try to add in some fuel to the fire, or spice to the food, so if you gossip or complain to a woman, you’d get additional help.
If you gossiped with a man, they would give the same examples or experiences but they hardly help you cook.
The pro, gossiping with a woman will reduce your guilt if you despising someone, because they make you feel you are really right by supporting you. Gossiping with a man will make you feel that the situation is not as bad as you think.
2. What they like, and what they don’t like, sometimes men can be very confusing. Like woman, they have mood swing. You can see a woman happy and cheery but when something happen, she would be the most unpleasant creature on earth; it can be a matter of seconds. I know at least I’m capable of that. Two days ago, I was happy and smiley and ready to give teddy bear to anyone, then my computer refused to do what it supposes to do. Once, twice, and the forth time I’m ready to throw it away – to someone – whoever that pass my table and be friendly.
Or when PMS struck, everything is wrong, everyone is ugly, every kid is deserve to be in cage, nothing is funny and life is suck. But when the culprit finally arrives, Hey, beautiful weather, what a cute kid with their tiny shoes etc etc.
# Maybe we are Hulk #.
Eits, men are the same. But maybe, not so obvious. I found that something that doesn’t offend them one time, can offend them another time, so it’s quite difficult to guess what is ok and not ok sometimes. I just offended a friend yesterday, by saying what was popping to my mind without thinking. To my surprise it offended him and it made me feel very bad. But the good thing is, for most of the man, they are very very good in forgive and forget, one thing that women never able to compete. So when I expressed my regret, he was accepting it warmly, not only that but he could also look back and blamed his own mood. This is one of the things that makes me feel that become a friend to men are much more easy. It can be, very, very tiring to be friend with female when one mistake can destroy the friendship easily. Lucky, most of my female friends have enough testosterone level to balance and become great ones.
3. If women are sensitive, sometimes too sensitive, some men can be *******ly sensitive.
At least I have two colleagues who can be my pain in the ass. I don’t even know when or how I offended them in the past, it seems like they are scared of me and take extra effort and precaution when talking to me and after what they need to do with me is done, they run away. When I tried to think back about the things I might have done, I can’t find anything except I was being honest or maybe, I talked in a bit rush manner (I was in the rush) so I didn’t really pay attention to what they asked. But FGS, the question that the asked was a yes or no question, what was I suppose to do, write a story to answer it? Or give a huge smile and asking how their day while my computer is crashing? It’s ridiculous. I can't even think of a woman who would feel offended by something like that.
Amppuuuun. Ampuuuun. Ampuuuun. I’m really really scared with this breed of man.
4. If women can be whiny. Have you ever met whiny man?
I had one colleague like that, and although sometimes he could be quite entertaining, some other time all I wanted is to scream and pushed his head to the wall, Shut Upppp Shut Upppp Shut UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!. Dogol.
One of the examples to this kind is Jerry Seinfeld character, he is SO whiny!
Maybe most women, including me, are still traditional and like to think that men are suppose to be someone to lean on when things go the wrong way. We still hope that they are the rational ones and handle thing with hands rather than mouth.
Allow us to have that mouth part, please. :D
5. If cerewet is associated with women only,...
I might consider marching in the street.
I have three male colleagues who fall in this category (I start to think, why I can find all male samples in my office alone?).
One is a fun type of cerewet. He likes to visit everyone and could talk at least half an hour. He could talk about anything, from discount shops in Hongkong to why doggy like to lick their thing.
Two is a cerewet preacher. A good preacher is the one who knows how to make fun and criticize of his/herself too or his own beliefs and never look down on other's. But good preacher is very very rare, let’s say from ten over years I attend church, I’m impressed with two, TWO preachers only. Seminaries are different kind of preachers, many of them have charm and interesting, but when they start to promote something, that’s the end of it.
Okay, just like women, men can preach about anything. If aunties are highly avoided in family occasions, so do uncles.
My colleague in this type wanted to give me a private one-to-one church to save me from burning in hell when I happened to say, in between lunch meal, that I’m not a very devoted Christian from Every-Sunday-go-to-Church department. Lucky I was able to spot this type very well and ran like (hell).
The third type is the talkative one, whether anybody interested or not. Whether you body language rejects him or not, or even go away hand sign, as long as he can see you, he talks. If one is unlucky enough to say no, like yesterday, I saw my other colleague had to endure his ears while this breed talked for hours while he only said Uh Ah Hah with Kill Me Please look, until, finally, big boss came in and for the first time, she was a savior.
So, for all the men in the world. The remark that all men are heartless, can’t be trust, gatelan, cheater (ask broken-hearted women please) is enough.
Don’t take our women-associated negative expertise away please. ;p
_______________________________________________________________________________
Age and wedlock lames man and beast.
- William Camden
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
- Oscar Wilde
I’m not denying that women are foolish : God Almighty made them to match the men.
- George Eliot, Mary Ann Evans
To be wise and love. Exceeds man’s might.
- William Shakespeare
You asked me if I knew woman. Well, one of the thing I do not know about them is what they talk about while the men are talking. I must find out sometime.
- Edward Franklin Albee
You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be fond of them to love them. Otherwise they’re simply unbearable.
- Marguerite Duras
Some ladies smoke too much and some ladies drink too much and some ladies pray too much. But all ladies think that they weigh too much.
- Ogden Nash
One of the things being in politics has taught me is that men are not a reasoned or reasonable sex.
- Margaret Hilda Thatcher
A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain.
- Oscar Wilde
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