Brain's Backup

Previous Dioramas

2012-01-28T16:40:00.001+08:00

http://miscellaneousmiscellaneous.blogspot.com/2012/01/previous-dioramas.html

The Making of Hobby Classroom

2012-01-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

Check it at:

http://miscellaneousmiscellaneous.blogspot.com/2012/01/hobby-classroom.html

RANT: Previously I want to put the whole post here, but after re-editing that particular post for many times, I swear it off. One typo edit can cause me whole repeat on editing.

After I done with the whole post, I went back to add something, the whole spacing messed up again all all the titles are deleted. What is up blogspot.. I'm losing faith..

annoying glitch that make posting something take at least 5 times longer than it should be!

Bike Course Tale

2011-12-30T14:06:00.003+08:00

Celebrating one year of getting the license: 22 December 2010....!!!

Many nice places in Singapore are not public transport friendly. Nice places to me means natural parks, beaches, somewhere quieter, less people, and of course, they are all almost always located far away from main transport line.
I would also like to find my own secret spots if I have chance and facility to explore.

Singapore public transport is, well, as much as it’s in higher standard than other countries in the region (although not always) it’s sometimes unreliable, especially busses. When you count on it daily it becomes big fat annoying problem.

Other mode of transportation is expensive, especially car. If you could buy it, it would be difficult to maintain; petrol, road tax, insurance, parking, electronic road pricing system, all add up to a lot of expenses, not to mention that car is not always the most convenient mode of transportation. In my previous work place, my colleague would park his car one station away from the workplace, then take mrt. Tell me what is wrong with that. Everything! You fork up money to buy car, yet instead of getting the convenience, you have to take public transport to avoid higher parking charges. Isn’t it less troublesome to take mrt all the way? Maybe so, maybe not.

Public transportation like bus and mrt are not necessary cheaper than riding a bike. Without calculating the cost of the bike, of course, the daily and other expenses will add up cheaper when I ride bike than taking bus and mrt.

Overall, the time that I save. A lot. And time is good. For hobbies, for rest, for any other more useful things. So I decided to take up bike license. If in Indonesia learning how to ride a bike is simply try to ride and there you go, in here, it actually bloody bloody tedious. Bloody!

I know that Singapore learning system is different and I know that it’s going to be tedious, yet I didn’t expect it to be that horrendous.

After registration (money):

1. Plethora of theory classes.Theory class schedules are not abundant so it kinds of affecting the schedule, especially because you have to attend previous class before the next, so it’s impossible to do concurrently. I had to attend 7 theory classes in total if not wrong, and each had to be book one month or at least two weeks before since I only have time after works or weekends.

2. Theory evaluation, practices and test.To take the theory test, you need to pass theory evaluation. To pass evaluation, you better take multiple practices. Theory test only available once a month, with limited seatings. Once you miss, gotta get another booking. Theory test is valid up to one year (or half?? -à rotten memory, sorry). So once you are eligible for test, it’s better to get it done soon.

3. Practical subjects.I think in total there are 16 subjects to take. After passing the previous one, then you can take the next one. Included are three assessments where they will mark you with points, just like practical test.

4. Practical test with Traffic Police (TP).Can only book one month in advance. No sooner, but can be later. This is the final step that will decide whether you’ll get the license, or not.

This system of gradual passing of subjects or classes and limited availability affect a lot in the schedule. It drags the whole process, especially when you are stuck in one subject. It can be maddening.

THE PRACTICALS

The practical subjects are killer for me. I never handle any motorized vehicle before, unless you count dodgem and go kart. I’m especially good with dodgem (fondly known as boom-boom-car) and with that, it certainly not a good experience to rely with.

For practical courses, the required attires are: long pants, long sleeve, helm liner (if you are using center’s helmet, which I did) and glove (since I don’t have other glove, I was using my diving glove).On top of that we would need to put in number tag, tag color is divided according to the subject. So basically you will know who attend which classes.

Waiting area before the course was annoying part. Sometimes they didn’t on the TV, so there was nothing to do. Since I don’t like to carry handphone in my pocket, I had to leave it in the locker. Sometimes I would meet familiar people who happened to share same classes in the part, but most probably everyone would sit by themselves. It could also be nail biting moment if you were nervous about the subjects, which I almost always did.

Each session lasts about 100 minutes.

The subjects:

1.01. Introduction, first gear, clutch, bike handling, mini circuit.
Surprisingly, I didn’t have any problem for my first subject. Everything went smoothly. It’s my first time handling bike. The center is using street bike imported from Indonesia, Honda brand. It’s heavier and bulkier than moped/bebek. I was learning manual gear.

So first lesson, first gear, clutch control break. We were introduced to the bike feature, and tried not to ride to the wall covered with tyres. On the machine, half clutch, throttle, clutch-in, brake before you touch the tyre wall which was a mere three four meters in front of you. After a few times, we rode around the mini circuit, practicing the method in longer distance. We had a very kanchiong (nervous) classmate, he felt down two times, once in front of me, luckily I remembered where my brake was.

1.02. Up to third gear handling, mini circuit.
Starting with this subject, I already having difficulties. Somehow it was the time when I encountered a rude instructor who almost yelled at everyone.We needed to learn to switch to third gear, ride and brake smoothly and properly. The main obstacle was the mini circuit. It’s so mini that it was frightening to ride in third gear. The circuit’s four bends was so close to each other.

So from the starting point I had to maintain half clutch and constant speed so I could change gear while negotiating bend, by the time I finished the bend I had to change to second gear before another bend, same thing with third gear. Because the track was too short the speed was not enough for third gear to go smoothly. Just after the third gear we have to break. That was the beginning of my nightmare.

It’s not easy to control two hands and two legs doing different things at the same time. Left right, clutch, break, gear, which oneee is which again???? When the speed was not fast enough, but had to change to higher gear, the bike would wobble, or if the gear was high but we couldn’t go fast because of bend, the bike would stall and wobble too.

I hate the mini circuit wholeheartedly. I think it’s life threatening. If you got the outer circle of the circuit, it’s more manageable, but if you got inner circle, which I always got, the space you had and the distances was cut short significantly. With additional of 1.01 students who rode as nervous as you around the circuit, it’s mess.

On the session where I passed this subject, third try, the instructor let me go out to the main circuit. Main circuit was much bigger, but there were cars also. However, it was much better to learn in main circuit, at least you have more sufficient distances and space to do all the gear changing and to maintain the speed needed. I felt so relieved when finally went out from mini circuit.

Overall. Yucky. Yucky. Yucky. 1.02 (since beginning) was the official moment where I began to feel a lot of stress. (Yes, THAT early)

1.03. Up to fifth gear, negotiate bend, low speed control, main circuit.
Another challenge to ride up to fifth gear in short distance then drop to third gear and negotiate the bend. We had to do it properly according to instructor’s requirement. The sequence of action have to be right, step by step. Otherwise you fail.

So, technically speaking..
- Ride to third gear, make turn at the bend
- Pick up speed and change to 4th gear then fifth gear, all in probably less than 30 meter
- Then press the hand break and step on foot break little bit, clutch in, drop the gear to 4th, then 3rd
- Release clutch, release hand break, release foot break
- Negotiate the bend
- Press hand break + step on foot break a bit, clutch in, drop to 2nd & 1st gear
- Break.

By this time, you would have reached cone marking where we were supposed to do low speed control, useful for proceeding smoothly during jam or red light queue. The distance of the first cone was probably 4 meter, second was merely 2 meter.On the throttle, half clutch, ride, off throttle, break while clutch in, all in very short distance and time. It’s challenging not to get wobbly and unstable, but this low speed control proved to be very valuable in the rest of the course and also in real life outside the road.

2.01.Slope, breaking and starting on slope, turning.
The slope looked quite intimidating and I kept thinking that it must be difficult not to slide back down. I was wrong, it’s quite easy not to slide down, however, starting off the slope without wobbling is the main challenge, and also when negotiating down the slope, again, there are a lot of technical steps that is very rigid by sequence which I always hate.

We needed to kick up to gear two before going up the slope with very short distance to do so after a bend (seriously, if the circuit was bigger, I guess it would be much more easier to learn), then brake, clutch in, kick down to first gear, keep the rear break, switch to right signal, check blind spot, on throttle, half clutch , release foot brake, move, release clutch, change signal to left, minimum pressure on front brake and brake at the end of the slope, clutch in, check blind spot, all in five meter during the slope. Bloody busy.I think this subject was the first time I fell. Nothing to do with the slope though.

It was rainy day and I happened to wear a very slippery Converse shoe (excuses), I rode in the road approaching the slope, when a car suddenly appeared from top of the slope and went down very fast. I didn’t know if it could brake on time, anyway, they were learning also, and if they couldn’t brake it would hit me by the time I passed by the slope, so I braked. I must have used too much of front brake that the front part of the bike spun to the left. It was about to fall, so I stuck out my left leg to hold it, but damn, I slipped, (yah in slow motion it might be comical) so the bike fell with me and I knocked my lips on the mirror. Hurt, not so much. Embarrass, hell yes, lucky no one was around except the stupid car, I took the pleasure looking at the driver being scolded by the instructor next to him.

Me, however, looked like Angelina Jolie for a while.

2.02. Slope, lane changing, signals, turning, traffic, main circuit.
Similar with previous subject but now we have to take more complicated route and learned line changing. All the blind spots, head turns, mirror checkings, body languages, traffic judgement, right turning, left turning properly (not as easy as it sounds).

3.01. Ride through and hanging on 20cm width elevated narrow plank more than 6 seconds, and zig-zaging through rows of orange cones (pylon slalom) in less than 6 seconds in 2nd gear.

Narrow plank was my nightmare at first try. I barely made it though the course without getting off the plank. We were supposed to use low speed control and hang on the plank as long as we could. Once you wobble, it’s not easy to recover the direction, if you off the plank, that is immediate failure in the test. Magically, I managed to do pylon slalom well.

Anyway, my first lesson for this combined subject still failed like chicken failed to fly. However, after I got good instructor who could explain very well and got the grasp, plank didn’t scare me anymore, I didn’t care how loud the throttle sounded, I just controlled it with the clutch, eye line proved to be very important, look front and more likely I’d be able to maintain straight line, but human nature, sometimes I always wanted to look down to see whether my tyre is off the plank, and then it was off the plank because of that.

While my plank improved, my pylon slalom was becoming a disaster. Once I got too fast or too slow passing by the first cone, I knew that it wouldn’t be smooth, got nervous and ended up trying to avoid hitting the cones and fell down. After a while anytime I was about to hit the orange cone, I would just hit it (It was soft and would bend under the bike) instead of avoiding it and skid myself.

I had good amount of falling down during this lesson, however, I could pick up my heavy bike (heavy!) very quickly, rode off and pretend nothing happened while collecting my dignity. Good thing about cone, once you get the first one right, it’s not difficult to get the rest right as the momentum would be there, as long as you dare enough to maintain the speed and confident, and not thinking about falling. Easy to say. I found that once I think about falling (basically when my bike is wobbling and difficult to control, I found that 60% I would fall). It happened quite frequently in early lesson but as my skin thickened, falling didn’t scare me and it actually helped me not to fall. Euh.. confusing??

3.02.Emergency break.
E-break could be a very annoying subject. First, all we did was just to ride through the circuit, queued and then did the E-break process in I think 30-40 meter track. Repeat. We basically spent more time in queuing than the lesson itself. Second, the first instructor I got was awfully picky and if I have to be bitter for one subject, this was it. I got everything right, brake on time, correct position, not exceeding the red line, yet he failed me because I didn’t look in front long enough half the time. Urgh, I guessed he made it his goal to fail someone on that subject and chose me from the other six guys. Bleh.

The technical, we started with first gear, in less than twenty meter we had to change it to second and then third gear and reached the 30kph before we reached the cone marking. We had to keep glancing on the speedometer to achieve and maintain 30 kph. (only 30-35 was acceptable. It’s very easy to reach 40-50 if I didn’t monitor frequently) After that, we quickly closed the throttle, and breakkkkkk. The break had to be done in certain manner that it was not too fast or too slow, then clutched in time to prevent engine off. It was okay if the engine died after the E-break. (although some instructor mis-informed the student about this). After the bike stopped (before the red line), right foot down, kick the gear multiple times to first gear, left foot down, right foot up, clutch in, signal, blind spot, then moved off while (!) maintain the eyeline in front!

Sidenote: the training bike is equipped with indicators in front of the bike that would indicate front brake being pressed/footbrake being pressed/light up when bike reach 30kph. So the instructors KNOW what you are doing.

As rigid as the posture we needed to get it right at the end of the E-break, it was actually even more rigid. After doing everything right, the TP still marked me down as incorrect posture. I eventually found out that they demanded the right posture throughout the course. You see, it was a very short distance from the start to when we changed the gear up to the third gear. While changing to second gear, the left foot was below the gear pedal, kick it up and the left hand need to pull in the clutch. In spilt second we needed to change to third gear. In such a short time and for practicality, I sometimes forgot to put my left foot back on top of the pedal and my finger back on the handle after I changed from to first gear to second and before I change to third gear. Just like that! In real life situation, it would be much more practical if I want to pick up my speed from start to 3rd, 4th, 5th gear by not robotically placing every limbs on it correct and *template* position after every gear changing. Ridiculous.

Apparently I think the instructor think the same. I had never heard advise or complaint from instructors regarding this, only after finding this suspicious mark during TP, and proved it again on another test that I got the conclusion. Nuts.

Ohya..since E-break had good casualties in the past for students to potentially screw up and endanger ourselves, we were required to wear back the elbow and knee guard we discarded since 1.03, and for every starting briefing, the instructor would picturing all the horrible scenarios about broken leg, ankle, broken collar bone, hitting tree and flying rider through the fence that..well. .. I don’t know, it's good to be careful, but it was not a good motivator for a start.

4.01.Negotiating figure eight (S course) in less than 11 seconds, and crank course less than 6 seconds.

This was the most nightmarish subject for me. It was basically the course where I stuck the longest and a course that first made me think riding was not meant to be. It’s funny enough that on the first lesson I got good grasp that eventhough I failed, I was quite sure I was very close in getting it next time. However, it was not the case and it got worse overtime. The first half of the figure eight was the hardest, the pressure of getting it fast enough was tremendous, it was unnerving to navigate through the curvy narrow course with very little room and short distance while maintaining certain speed.

It’s hardest to maintain the bike stability because the speed might not be fast enough for second gear, once it was unstable, it's very easy to fall. If first half was good, second half normally go well, just need to apply the necessary rigid technicality of blind spot, signal, postures etc. Needless to say, changing bike every time really took its toll. Adjusting the bike everytime was a good challenge. One bike rear’s brake is deeper than the other, or the gear or everything else. Eventually first half of the lesson would be unstable and the other half was not enough to score me a pass. Horrible-horrible subject. With the most fall and blue black. Nightmare! Uh!

Eventhough there were few other external reasons, I blame myself for doing this subject horribly. The more I was scared or entertaining the thought of falling, the more I will fall. The pressure also played a lot in making me nervous. Other trainee bikes queuing in the line behind, many instructors for different classes around. Uh.

But to be fair, it seemed quite a common nightmare subject. As bad as I was, there were some who were worse than me, including those who took 2A (higher class for 200-400cc) who encountered a fall everytime they tried the circuit, or those who made even worse falls than me like straying outside the circuit and of course, there was an instructor who fell to. Well, not to be mean (but I am) it’s actually nice to see some reminder for them about how we might feel under pressure. Too bad, the instructor who fell was the one who was actually nice and fair to the student, not those obnoxious ones.

4.02. Overall circuit evaluation and pillion.
This is the first overall evaluation for the whole circuit and the first test to feel how it’s like to have a person sitting behind as a pillion. It was definitely different, the balance is affected, the throttle power needed to be added so much more and there is somebody who would be twice as scared as you for every move you make. Haha. My first pillion tryout ended well, surprisingly, I got a nice lady as a partner and she had more difficulty with engine stalled few times and she couldn’t manage kick start. She was nervous and the whole bike was shaking during the S course but amazingly she managed to go through it.

5.01. First assessment of overall circuit with pass points. I think it’s 24 points?
This is basically the same with before and after subject. Subject 4.02 didn’t have scoring and 5.02 with 18 points passing scoring implementation, everything else is the same. Note: pillion riding was just for us to experience it, it didn’t count into the scorings.

Side story, this is the subject when I encountered a super annoying guy who was also a trainee. What is a line when a guy crossing the line or making impolite passes? Same thing with what is the line when you feel someone being racist towards you or give inappropriate remarks? The answer is there is no clear line, no clear boundary, it can be different in different situation and with different people, it's hard to justify, but you KNOW it when it’s being crossed.

As often, I was the only female in the class. It’s not uncommon and totally fine with me. Anyway, going to class was not a good time for me, tired after work, worried about the course, it’s a stressful chore and hassle, every time. So, I’m not in good mood to start with.

We were in the class of six, it was 5.01 subject, where we had to go through the whole circuit and practiced every skill. At first I didn't pay attention, until after sometime I noticed this guy, whose bike was in front of me, separated by one or two bikes. Everytime the bike stopped, he would turn around, in fix position that would make owl and chiropractor happy, and stared. I am not exaggerating anything, because not only me, the two bikes in between us were wondering why this guy looked behind in that manner until they also turned around to check. Scaling Jakarta’s road for years, I’ve known too well and ignore this kind of idiocy. But ignore to ignore, it was getting very annoying especially the queue was super slow, I decided to stare him down, although I think my ugly stare could kill and I normally won, he didn’t bulge and even started to wink etc. I gave him a fist, and he conceded, at least I thought, or it was his turn to do the plank. The guy behind me also noticed and said, what the hell he thinks he is doing, staring at people like that?

Apparently, after the plank, we queued again for E-break and there he started again, I gave him another fist and stared until I won, but again, at least I thought. Somehow one bike in between us change queuing lane and I ended up right behind him. He had the nerve to ask me why I was angry, which I managed to tell him calmly that it’s staring that way is annoying. Then he started with all those BS that maybe he thinks will work, (well, probably for young naiveté craved for attention and compassion kind of girl and if the guy is a bloody hybrid of the most handsome guy in the world with plethora of charisma, maybe, only maybe, it wouldn’t come across as poorly written jackassy bullshit drama pick-up lines), told me that because I’m attractive, he wants to know me better, wants to be friend, so on and so forth, all those sort of crap etc etc. Seriously, is it high school? How old did he think I am, my high school classmate can tell how much I would be impressed with this kind of elephant shit. Or maybe it was the way of speaking and his attitude that was offensive. Anyway, I tried to take it easy and told him I just found the staring offensive and annoying, so please don’t do that again. After that, I knew I shouldn’t acknowledge his existence at all, because he then blabbed about anything on the planet, repeat with additional of asking various particulars, various coffee or dinner appointment. He was either obnoxious clueless or freaking obnoxious clueless or effing obnoxious clueless with dead nerves thinking he was charming. Seriously, I think I’m not an easily offended person but his attitude really offended me, I think this guy very young and probably think every woman can be easily manipulated by mushy words and unintelligent face, and he probably read my ready-to-punch face as interested with him.

So I just pretended that he was dead and I’m deaf and blind, unfortunately we stuck in the same line for every circuit.

Anyway, I got my revenge. I knew I did my lesson poorly I would not pass, not to blame others but myself, however, I was really pissed and had too bad mood to concentrate on my lesson thanks to this idiot.

Near the end of the lesson, we needed to do pillion practice, and as suspected, the instructor paired me to him, because he was the smallest size from the rest of the guy. I was thinking of telling the instructor but didn’t want to make mount out of molehill. Another guy who was apparently noticed asked me whether I’m okay with that. See, this is how a guy supposes to behave. I told him I’d be fine. We started off with me as the rider, I swear I was angry enough that I didn’t mind to ride the bike to the wall to send him flying if I really couldn’t take it.

Anger comes a lot with bravery I guess, I rode everything, even the S course with high speed because I didn’t care, it must be quite scary because he started to get pale faced, stopped talking thrash and started to ask me to ride carefully. Magically, I survived the S course, crank course, and I was the only one who didn’t drop from the plank with pillion. How nice is that? Even though the riding was not good because it was wobbling and unstable, which made it even more sweeter because it frightened the idiot so much and you know what, he started apologized if he made me angry while I was speeding up towards the pylon slalom and turned nice for the rest of the circuit, saying he didn’t mean to be impolite and sorry if I’m offended, etc etc.

Anyway, I don’t want stupid things to get in my mind, so it’s fine with me, and I was happy he didn’t dare to speak much to me anymore when the class was dismissed. I was still pissed because I didn’t pass, but everyone else also failed except two students.

5.02. Second assessment of overall circuit, pass points.This one with scoring “exam”, exceed 18 points, fail.
There are few miracles that I had during my course and this was one of it. It was the first time I was being guided with this instructor (later on I nominate him as the nicest instructor). We went through first trial for the whole circuit, then it came to the time where the instructor would do the scoring as if we were in the real TP test.

Everything is still fresh in my mind, started from parking area, passed by pedestrian crossing, signal, mirror, bla bla, change lanes bla bla, slope, S course less than 11 seconds, crank course less than 6 seconds, narrow plank more than 6 seconds, pylon slalom less than 6 seconds, E-brake, and then some.

I thought I was doing okay, but also thought I might not meet the requirements of some of the timing and it would be hard not to exceed 18 point. When I rode back to the bike parking point as the last trainee, the instructor caught up with me and asked whether I had passed the theory class exam. (Note: the 5.02 passing mark is only applicable for a month, together with passing theory exam, you would then eligible to book for Traffic Police test. The timing of the theory exam is very far and between, there were many cases that student needed to repeat their 5.02 because it would have exceed one month before they managed to clear the theory exam). I told him I passed the theory quite sometimes ago. He nodded, smiled and gestured me to continue riding back.

There were two ideas running in my mind, maybe he was just asking to find out the student’s progression, or maybe, maybe I pass? On the first try, for the part that matter? It must be snowing! Anyway, it was not snowing and I really passed. Icing on the cake, the instructor actually complimented me on my riding that day (it WAS a miracle day) and I actually passed with much lower point than 18. I think it’s 8 or 12? I don’t have the assessment letter because I had to exchange it with my PDL (Provisional Driving License) that would make me eligible to go out and ride on the road under provision of an instructor.

6.01. General riding and bike handling on public road. Staggered formations.
It was the first lesson when we went outside in the public road. We had to sit down through a long briefing for how we were going to conduct ourselves in the road and the road regulation for new rider like me, especially with Singapore road regulation that is slightly different.

We were all going to move in staggered position, to improve visibility of the group and to make us less likely to be cut by other road users. There would be one instructor in front and one behind. We would ride around and be assessed with our general riding. It was quite nice riding outside where the instructor would bring us further around, getting us familiarized with the riding instead of being restricted with all the rules inside the circuit.

At first I was quite worried about passing the subjects before the test, which was around one month after I booked. It’s the requirement and the test would be fortified if you don’t clear all subjects. One month sounds like a lot of time, but with hectic working life, training schedules, and of course, whether it’s easy for me to pass every subjects and assessments, I had reason to worry. Luckily, I didn’t need to. The rest of the course actually went smoothly for me, I only stumbled a bit in the U-turn.

7.01. General riding and bike handling on public road, U-turn, test route.
We would do the test route in public road and learned to do proper U-turn. After long briefing about the test route, we practiced U-turn in the mini circuit. U-turn is difficult! At least the one they required. By the time we positioned ourselves to do the U-turn, we should never ever drop our right foot (anyway, all along the riding, dropping right foot almost means immediate failure. Why??? How would I know? There is no logical reason that I would understand except maybe they want to implement proper riding habit while we are learning). After practicing it over and over, it was quite easy not to let your right foot down in the circuit and road, but for U-turn, somehow it’s not, because by the time we turned to the right and stopped, we basically leaning to the right. With the posture and the weight of the bike, and sometimes unavoided abrupt stop, it’s quite easy to drop the right foot accidentally to support everything. Also, one more important thing, the U-turn shall not take more than one lane, not even touching the first road line, it shouldn’t be wide turn, you shouldn’t wobble. Making U-turn in one lane is not easy at all, and while trying hard to do so, a lot of thing can go wrong.

Again, there is nothing wrong in making wide U-turn in real life, two lanes or three if you may, as long as make it safe and wait for the road to clear. Again, the logic is to make you learn the proper way while you are obligated to. After the long briefing and practice in the mini circuit, we only had so little time to try the test route, about 2 rounds or three rounds the most.

Starting off, we would have to watch the traffic before turning left. There were a lot of side road where we needed to remember: turn head, check blind spots, bla bla, signal, and more often than not, because the side roads are basically the entry points for the building around we had to watch out for cars and made necessary signaling and decisive about how to react. After that we would go the filter road, and again, made judgment about when to go, turning to 70kph road (we had to hit 70kph, too slow would make you collect handsome points) and do multiple line changings before we hit the traffic light, proceeded, made U-turn to the junction again, turn right and went through a road with plethora side roads and pedestrian crossings, before riding to another road and back to the center.

8.01. Overall assessment for test route.
We would do overall test route consisting on circuit and road. I think it’s more likely to fail in the circuit because of many immediate failure spots and points, but the road is also very intimidating because of the unknown factors like traffics and pedestrians. I thought I was definitely needed to repeat, but again, to my surprise, I passed.

The instructors stayed to give us some tips for the test. Some suggested to come early on the test day, some said drink coca cola, some suggested to take a couple of self practices to prepare ourselves better. Basically, all the suggestions lead to one thing, controlling the nerves.

Not-so compulsory additional subjects:

Self-Practice (SP): After 5.02 (if remember correctly) we were eligible to take self-practice, the cheapest and the most fun subjects of all. It’s basically renting the bike and having fun on our own, without instructors, but restricted in the circuit. It’s nice because I could make use of my time efficiently. The crowd on the circuit depends of what classes were conducted on that day. I liked to practice plank and cone, or changed to S course when the crowds was not there. It’s nice to have the whole S course to myself where I could go round and round and round even multiple times without stopping when no one was around. Everything seems nicer without the pressure of people, and seems much easier too.

Revision Circuit (RC): Going around the circuit with an instructor who would observe and guide you. As many fellow trainees agree, this is basically just an expensive Self Practice. My first RC was good, with a very proper instructor. He was very serious and gave great feedbacks for every student, properly recording our timings and diligently conducting the whole circuit trains. That was why I had good impression on RC on the first try. I took second RC before the test, and I got this jackass lazy instructor who had more fun hitting and attaching himself to a young female trainee (hey, hey, no jealousy here, I swear) he basically abandoned the rest of the class. So the rest of us just practiced ourselves, he wasn’t even there for us at the end of the lesson to give a wrap-up, such a crap. Considering RC cost a lot more than SP, I didn’t take another RC anymore based of this experience. Apparently, everyone else that I happened to know along the way agreed with me.

Road Revision (RR): The only way to practice the test route outside the circuit. Two RRs were required for every repeating tests. We would have our own going around for two rounds in circuit, then went out to the road with instructors. When there were many students, we could only get two rounds maximum, on very good days, we could get four rounds. When we had subject out in the road, we would have few queuing points to wait for other students because we only have two instructors for one class that could consists up to 8 students. The longest queuing point is the junction after making U-turn.

100 minutes seems like a long time for riding, but for course, not so much. Getting ready, briefing, queuing on the course took a lot of time.

Getting ready as in putting up all gears, choosing the bike and dragging it out from the parking area, and queue at the starting point until other students in the same class were all ready and the starting point is cleared for your turn to move to the circuit, this can take approx 10 minutes.

Briefing, on big milestone of the course, especially those with a lot to do with routes and technicality like 2.02, 5.01, 6.01, 7.01, 8.01 can take as long as 20 minutes. For other subjects the briefings are much shorter in the beginning, however, there were a lot of short briefs along the course, while we were practicing new techniques and skills.

Queuing for the course can take forever, especially all classes happened to flock in the same area. 4.02 and above, the classes basically went around the circuit, together with bigger bike classes, sometimes the queue was overwhelming and took bloody lots of precious time.There is why, for me, the net time I had for one lesson seems like not enough. By the time I was familiar with my bike and finally get the hang on it at difficult subjects, it was almost time to finish.

THE INSTRUCTORS

Instructors played a lot of role in the course. Most of the instructors are kind and fair, but there were also few who were not professional and not capable of teaching. I mentioned the ‘hiao’ instructor and very serious and proper instructor before.

The one who was the kindest to my opinion was my 5.02 instructor who I would then encountered many times for the rest of my course. He taught well, fair and cracked good jokes to lighten the stress of the students, and always encouraged the student, he also had good method of teaching. I feel bad because he was confident that I could pass my test the first time and I didn’t. And when I did, he was not there for me to say thanks. What I could do is to write nice feedback for him to the center because I think he is really good and the type of instructor that really helps students to learn faster and better. I was lucky to encounter few of this kind of instructors.

There was another instructor who was also very kind, but too bad he couldn’t teach very well that it’s not easy to grasp the best method for certain skill. At first, I always happy to get him as instructor, because he was not intimidating or generous with scolding, but then, I really didn’t do well under his teaching because I didn’t really understand what did I do wrong.

There were quite a lot of capable instructors who can pinpoint the weaknesses and how to countered that, including one and only female instructor who was very sharp and had great teaching method but not intimidating. She was much braver than most of her male colleagues, she dared to hold my bike in front of her with the engine on to show me how is the right way to control throttle, clutch and balance for the plank, while my previous instructor only told me ‘control your clutch and break if you don’t want to fall…use both to manage your speed and balance..’, nothing wrong with advice, but clutch and brake that time for me is like relativity and centrifugal force theory for primary school kids, what the hell were they again?? Anyway, I don’t think, ever, I would have the bravery to hold a student bike down with engine on and let them practice the throttle and clutch. Would I ever. No. No. No. If you think this female instructor is burly with muscle and square jaw, nope, she looks just like a very common long-haired girl whose like to do shopping and cooking.

There was one instructor whom I remember for the wise words, he looked young, looks almost like those Ahbeng who would just chillax and I never thought wise words would came out from him.

So it was the time when I started to feel very stupid of needing to repeat my subjects. It was my first try on that 2.02 subject, in the class that actually consisted of two, three and four times repeaters (2.02 might seems like a very easy subject, but the failing number is high because this is the start of every factor of riding comes into play. Still very rookie, it’s very easy to wobble, right leg down, unstable, engine stall, shaky turn, unsmooth line changing, abrupt stopping and low speed control, with that many factors and implementing ‘strict proper riding’, it’s very easy to fall below requirement to pass).

Anyway, without aiming on anyone, the instructor said that he understood many of the students felt discouraged after failing multiple times. He told us we shouldn’t worry about that, he himself needed six tries to pass Traffic Police test (more than me, yoohoooo!), and the record for failing this subject so far was…. Nineteen times. WHOA.. Anyway, regardless of how many times we try, it’s more important to think that every failure actually helps to shape you as better and safer future rider. Just count it as investment for yourself, think of it as additional practices and don’t stress too much on anything else. Which I think is very good advice.

Another type of instructors, quite a lot, are intimidating ones. They liked to yell and scold the students, which is not the best way to learn, for me. It’s intimidating and putting so much pressures that instead of doing well, everything became a mess. They also sometimes had irritating way of talking like a teacher talking to school children. However, to give credit while credits are due, they are normally very good rider who walk the talk, athough, yah, it’s not so impressive to be a very good rider among new students. Anyway, I found that the two most intimidating instructors I had, turned out to be very nice when I got them again further in the course. Maybe I got them in bad day, or maybe earlier classes are really frustrating because we rode like horse tries to cycle. They were actually encouraging and always gave me helpful advices even though I was not in their class, when they happened to station on certain circuit. One of them was the one who finally passed me for my most hellish subject, the S course and taught me to ride while smiling. It sound like crazy advice but smiling might actually enlighten the mood and stress so there was less pressure. It did help to grin like siao under the helmet sometimes.

Maybe I’m lucky that I didn’t get many bad instructors, the worst one, luckily I got him one time only, was the one who really annoyed me. I was learning S-course and with the rest of the students, we got difficulty with the subject.

Instead of focusing on teaching our weak points, he showed up by going round and round the course, many times, while hogging the course for the rest of the users. Any good lessons or points he delivered? Nooooo… other instructor would say, watch how I do it.. at this point, I’m holding my brake enough to slow down the speed but I maintain my throttle, it helps a lot to maintain the eye line to that tree while on this turning because it keeps the bike direction correctly, so on and so forth while doing the actual thing.

For this instructor, no, he just left us, then suddenly hopped on to his bike, go round and round and round, while all students queued there stupidly. He would then go to us and say,”See? It’s easy what, what are you all scared about?” Well, captain obvious. If his achievement in life is to brag about something you should be good at to people who are supposed to learn that from zero from you, then I don’t understand what is the value of his smirk and his brain.

We learned nothing nothing nothing from him, he took out too much valuable time and supposed to be charged by hogging the circuit to show off instead of letting us practicing.

But that was not the worst of all, beside not capable of teaching, while he should observing the student doing the course, he chose to act like government force survey officer and ask me many personal private questions that got nothing to do with the class at all. Completing and graduating from the course, this is the only instructor that I do not have a single positive impression and drop of respect, at all.

FUN THINGS...WAIT..NO, NOT FUN

There are many people who are talented and meant to be good rider or drivers. They have good reflexes, judgment and bravery to be natural.

I have confidence in many other activities that require physical and thinking, but I know I’m quite lousy in motoring skill. Not always, but I expected that it wouldn’t be easy, it ended up harder than I thought.

The whole procedure of getting license is stressful for me to the point that it kind of affected my life. I got nightmares from it, I was stressed out, and it really took a lot of my quality times. I was travelling a lot during year 2010, and freed myself from lesson at least one week before trips and of course, with my inability, the course stretched out for almost a year.

Maybe because I’m very lucky that I have never had hard time learning anything in school or in life, I found it’s foreign for me to have this inferior and incapable feeling, so I didn’t take it very well during the course. It’s good experience and I will forever cherish the embarrassment as something precious to learn.

The thought of quitting did come to my mind a few times, but I never gave it further consideration or think about it, because I know I will not give it a rest and there is no point of quitting if I would end up trying it again in the future, I might as well suck it up. However, I do admit that it was tough for me and I hate how it brought my spirit down so much, I hated thinking and talking about it, and it was actually scary for me to go to class. I had very low spirits especially for earlier subjects where I almost never passed on the first try, it always took me two or three tries, and for S course, five freaking times. Five! Luckily that is my record breaking tries exclusively only for this hellish course.

I don’t remember if my S course subject is before or after my Rinjani trekking, but I came back from the trip very full spirited and it lifted me up a lot. It will always be fresh in my mind about how many times I wanted to quit going to the summit but ended up reaping the most beautiful scenery by not quitting. So I went home with new courage and ready to face all the music and blue blacks that I might get.

TRAFFIC POLICE (TP) TEST

At first I don’t want to write this part, as the journal had been dragging too long (one year!!!) but it wouldn’t be complete.

TP is the scariest portion of all, scary because it’s costly, and scary because luck plays a lot. Like a classmate said, she never dropped from the plank once, but during the test, she dropped and it was immediate failure. So much for that.

Anyway, for every test, we would take turn with the bike, there is no freaking chance to ensure that you know/get used/familiarized with the bike, at all. Just pray furiously for whoever you believe that you would get reasonable bike, with normal depression for rear break, normal position of clutch biting point and normal hand break power. Other than that, count a lot on the luck, because as many bikes that I had tried there (a lot!), all bikes were different. And I had to totally change my bike more than five times because it’s not useable/got significant defect.

Imho, the whole test is designed for me to fail.Maximum points you can have: 18 points.

So there are few IMMEDIATE FAIL:

1. Fail to give way to pedestrians.
Pedestrians are king of the road. I agree with that, I’m the pedestrians myself, however I hate them with my guts during my course. And now, I really2 understand it’s nice to be gracious pedestrians.

Okay, if there is a zebra crossing, both green light for pedestrians and traffic (new for me because in here, traffic light does turn green for both pedestrian and turning vehicle), in any way, if there is a pedestrian on the road with face coming your way, you should stop and give way. Failed to stop, immediate failure. Very abrupt stopping, fail too.
If the pedestrian is a gung-ho sprinter who run from far2 away to catch the green light, and you happen not to see that, once they are stepping on the aspalt and you happen to cross the zebra, Immediate failure. Pedestrian jaywalking, breaking red light, also fail.

So, everyone, get your ass of the test route if you can’t behave like well-mannered pedestrian, because you brisk adrenalin crossing the road abruptly moment can actually cost someone a license, time and money, not to mention risking your life on the hand of nervous rider or driver.

2. Fall in any kind, any style, any cause, any position. Fail.

3. Drop from the plank. Drop. Fail. Go home. Nuff said.
On the plank less than six seconds, 4 points.
Less than five seconds, 6 points.
Less than four second, 8 points. (or 10? Or 12? Can’t remember)
Generous ah..

4. Any part of the bike touching the cone in pylon slalom. Fail!

5. Any time you ride up the curb. Fail.

6. Right foot drop. Fail.
Although this one seems to be by case basis.

7. Dangerous driving. Fail.
In any way they feel that you can endanger yourself of other road user.

8. Fail to understand instruction. Fail.
There are many queuing portions along the test route. The tester would give you instruction about when to start and if you started before the instruction, good luck.

Those are the immediate failures that I can remember.

For other things, there are four-five pages of items that are punishable with points:

- Wobbling.
4 fat points for every occasion. Wobbling means anything that looks shaky and unstable. In the beginning I like to move the bike, just a balancing style, it’s considered wobble. If you throttle and the body slightly jerked as the result, wobble. When turning and look shaky, wobble. Starting and stopping is the most generous time to be considered as wobble.

With unfamiliar bike, hell it is. Press front brake too much, clutch released too fast, wobble. When you are sure you are not, they can still say you are wobble. You just need five unfortunate glances of woobling to fail the whole course.

- Proper mirror and blind spot checking.
I resent this one a lot, fortunately I learnt the ‘proper’ way. See, you turn your head too much, not proper. Turn too little, not proper, turn too low, turn too high, not proper. Have to be the right angle. And have to show that you are checking both mirror and blind spot.Turn the head aprox 30 degree to indicate you are checking mirror, then approx 100 degree to indicate you are checking blind spot. Body posture should not be affected or it’s improper too.

Every improper checking is 4 points. And there are many many times you need to check blind spots (roughy counted 70 times if they keep track of everything but I suppose they are not THAT crazy). It would be awesome to collect 280 points base on blind spots.

One of my instructor joked that it's important to us to make sure that our helmet was turned, nevermind if our heads never turned, or if we closed our eyes.

- Improper lane changing, improper turning, incorrect postures of hands, legs, body,every one got 4 points each at least.

- Fail to signal, wrong signal, too fast/too slow signal, 4 points each. Or 2 points? I remember there is only one section that has 2 points punishment, the rest are at least 4 points. But maybe not this.

- S course more than eleven seconds, 4 points.
More than thirteen seconds, 6 points. More than fifteen seconds, 10 points. (I’m sure about the eleven seconds, but thirteen and fifteen I’m not so sure, but it’s around that.)

- Crank course.
I hardly mention this, it’s right after S course, it’s the half of Nazi symbol shape kind of course you need to go through in less than 6 second in bloody second gear. Most of the time the starting distance was too short to pick up speed that the bike would tremble like high in caffeine.More than six second, 4 points, more than seven seconds, 6 points, more than eight second, 8 points.

- Too fast on the plank.
Mentioned above. Anyway, there are many occasion where we could collect points, I can’t remember all. I guess E-break didn’t have immediate failure by many chances to get point if you cross red line or get improper posture.

- Ah ya, beating red light is 12 points, amber is 6 points. But it’s never black and white because they could also put immediate failure in consideration that you put yourself and other in danger with dangerous habit.Of course as students we would never attempt to break red or amber light, but when we were unfortunate enough that the light changed to amber while we were cruising on the green, it’s your luck. Therefore I always wished for red light. It’s easier to predict.

Damn technicality.

Anyway, I shamefully say I failed three times, finally pass on the fourth time. It was embarrassing and I thought I was very stupid. However, upon finding out, it’s actually still average.

Everytime I repeated the test, I had to take two RR as the requirement and from there I would meet all the other classmates who failed on the test. There were many who passed on first and second try, but there were also many that need five, six or more. Three and four was quite common.

I remember a girl who always dropped on the plank, I think on her sixth try, she finally managed to stay on the plank but sped it off to prevent falling. She got 8 or 10 points, but the rest of her riding was good she finally pass.

There was a guy who told me he rides everywhere in Malaysia and regular riders, but he already failed six times and still trying. He offered to coach me if I needed to. Well, he was kind, but thank you very much, I don’t feel like being coached if you still have yet passed, I did’t even feel like wanting to match the record. I’m sure his problem was technicality, he could be brilliant rider, just not by the book.

The most inspiring story was from a girl I passed the test together with. Get ready for this. She spent six years, failing 12 Traffic Police tests, broke an ankle, crushed her finger, being told to just take the MRT and stop trying by a very rude male chauvinist instructor, she finally passed. I can’t imagine the stress she went through and that is what I call determination.
Never give up regardless the odds. I think I would never able to stand through half of it. My hat really off for her, if I can’t contain my excitement on that day, I can’t imagine how she must feel. Six years! Six bloody years! Longer than getting a degree!

THE TESTING PROCCESS

The test day is on weekday, normally either Monday or Wednesday. We would need to gather very early, 7.30, to get name tag and tag number for the test. The tag number is white color with red for the number, written there ON TEST. Doesn’t help the nerve.

We would be tested based on number, the oldest would be earliest, youngest would be latest. There are normally around 60-80 people in a session, and my number never exceeded 20 because I’m considered bloody old for the class. I think I got 11, 13, 17, 19 if I remember correctly. Passing with 13, I think.
Number 1 would start first, followed by the rest.

So after getting the number, we would have chance to practice the circuit. Maybe could get around two rounds and the most is three rounds. After that we would go back to the class and sit. All this time, no one was permitted outside the class area. If they caught you in canteen or hall with number tag, immediately failure (As if they didn't have enough immediate failures). You could however by taking off the number tag.

After everyone is gathered inside the class, the instructors would give us last briefings before finally, normally around 9.30, the testers would appear, they were normally retired traffic police, mostly scary and fierce looking. I started by hating them to the guts but soon I realized the one, especially the fiercest looking one, is actually the nicest and just normal human, not scary android that ready to crush your dream. When the tests were about to start, they would be dropped in their stations, around 5 inside the circuit, I think around 8 outside in the road.

So we were lined by numbers, every ten is coordinated by one TP. They would do brief checking to make sure the one doing the test and the one registering is the same person. (Forget it, no one can take the test for you).

After that we would stand by with the allocated bike. The good things about getting small number, getting it over and done with faster instead of biting your nail waiting for the turn. The setback it, the TP are all still very alert and having high standard in the beginning, willingly to pen down every mistakes you might make.

First try, I actually thought I did quite well, but holly molly I dropped my right foot at the U-turn. Everything else was quite alright. But I failed. I’m not sure if the right foot drop caused it, one of my classmate also dropped his right foot and he failed too, but I think I made too many small technical mistakes that added to the failing points.

Second try was the worst, the very very worst. I deserved to fail so much.It started with the crank course, the bike was shaking I pulled the throttle a bit too much, I ended up running up the curb, just for split second, too bad I saw that the instructor noticed that. At that time, I wasn’t sure it was immediate failure, but I knew it was bad so I was distracted a lot when I continued.

The rest of the ride was okay, until I reached the traffic junction on the outside road. I had to turn right. Singapore traffic regulation allows right turning as the same time with the straight traffic if the road is clear. Regardless what, you should position yourself in the turning pocket and wait for your chance. (In Indo, can noooot.. I also not familiar with Indo traffic, but I know you can’t do so).

So it was green, I positioned myself, the straight traffic passed by. Then the right turned red. When the light turned red, by right I should be able to move since I was already in the pocket, but I had mind block at that very moment and actually unsure for the moment. Still procrastinating, the right arrow turned green and straighted away blinked. I made my turn but once I started the green light was on and right arrow dissappeared. I was in the middle and supposedly I could clear my turning, however, while the rest of vehicles were still stopping, there was a taxi covered by another car sped and appeared right in front of me. I was so surprised but managed to do emergency brake, however, it was very abrupt that I fell. I quickly lifted up the bike but the engine failed to start, so what I could do was just to push it as fast as I could to the side road.Other drivers were actually very patient and never horned me. I’m sure the taxi was guilty too by not properly scanning the junction before speeding from far, however, I admit I definitely I was at big fault too, eventhough I moved during my green light, I didn’t move rightaway when I was able to and probably didn’t move fast enough.

When I actually ride on the road after I got my license, I notice some similar situation on few junctions where the straight traffic is much more heavier than turning, the right arrow would sometimes appear for just split second and straightaway blinking. (It should be green first, not straightaway green-blinking I guess). For that cases, it’s quite dangerous for right turning if combined with speeding car from far who just continue with the green light cruise and doesn’t realize the traffic from the right is not clear yet.

Anyway, it was scary experience, I had to manually kicked start my bike and rode back to the center. However, all the while all I could think of was the disappointment of failing the test. Until chit chatting with the classmate, he reminded me that failing doesn’t matter as long as I was safe and sound. His words sunk into my brain and I was really really grateful that I was allright where there was so many potentials of me getting into more mess, injured or worse.

So I deserved to fail so much and even when the unfortunate incident didn’t happen, I still failed during the crank course. Another lesson learnt, it came in handy that I got used to pick up my own bike, fast. It’s heavy bike and many females couldn’t pick it up themselves. Silver lining in the cloud.

Anyway, the fierce TP that I mentioned earlier? He asked me if I was okay, advised me not to be nervous and be more careful, it’s more important to be safe and not be discouraged. And he actually smiled. When you see someone so fierce and smile, it’s nice to get the rare smile.

Third try, there is only one test that I really pissed off by failing, is this test. I felt that I did everything correctly, it was the first time I felt quite confident that I would pass. But I didn’t. Not to be a bitter failure, but I still don’t understand why.

The TP marking my paper mentioned that I failed to give way to the pedestrian on the way out of the center. But there was no pedestrian crossing. And there was no pedestrians. I was aware that eventhough there was no pedestrian crossing I always kept watch of possible passer-by. That was probably the point that I was in my most careful because the TP station is located right in front and it was the turning point to the main road. So I always made sure the road was clear before I moved out and I was sure THERE WAS NO PEDESTRIANNNNNN… unless he counted someone who was far far far far far away but that doesn’t make sense. Anyway, when one of my instructors asked me, I told them the spot and the reason, he was also confused and said,” huh? where got pedestrian there?”

So yah, I really and still think it was unfair. Huh. Crap.

Fourth try, success.
Actually I was quite surprised I passed. I didn’t do anything badly but I dropped my right foot at the U-turn. I can’t explain how I felt at that moment, I remember cursing and swearing that if this little thing is the cause for immediate failure, I don’t know how many more times I had to spend my life doing this. Apparently cursing and swearing helped override my nerve, I continued the rest of the U-turn well and accurately to the requirement that the TP only gave me 4 points for incorrect posture.

Actually I did remember one of the instructors said that, if you drop your right foot before the U-turn, which was quite common mistake, don’t be discouraged, do the rest of the U-turn well and show them that you know how to do that, and cross the finger hoping that they won’t mark it as immediate failure. I guess that was what happened to me and I felt really really grateful.

To my surprise, after I received the grading paper, I got points in S course, plank and pylon. I thought I was doing okay and all the while I never got any points on this areas in my previous tests.

For being too slow in S course, 4 points, too fast on the plank, 4 points, too slow on pylon, 4 points, and 4 points for the right foot, also additional 2 points I can’t remember what is about, all added up 18 points. Oh my holly molly. Hoooollly moooolly. I can’t believe I didn’t get points on any other areas but it just came at the right time, very very right time. I would be awfully pissed if I rode without hassle and failed because of these timing requirements.

Anyway, whatever, I feel very very grateful that I finally finished the course. Getting bigger bike license?? Maybe someday, but I don’t think I fancy bigger bike if I have to go through all this ordeal again. Anyway, I am not a bike enthusiast, as it’s a mode of transportation for me, not something fancy or stylo mylo to impress other people with. I don’t need faster bike as I hardly ride above 100 anyway. The only thing that would capture my interest is that bigger bike is more stable on the road, therefore probably safer. But my bike is also fine, it’s much more stable compared to the center’s bike.

So I’m okay. Thank you. No more bike lessons.

ALOR October-November 2011

2011-12-30T13:43:00.001+08:00

Latest journal:
http://aloroctonovember2011.blogspot.com/

Five Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed

2011-06-02T17:22:00.004+08:00

Someone I care about sent me an article, written by Bonnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying). It’s such a great article I want to share it here, word by word.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freesom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This come from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female petients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nurses deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It’s common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People who do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. This is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

This is surprisingly the common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

………………….

Artificial Babies

2011-06-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

I read an article this morning about mothers who buy dolls that resemble babies. The dolls are so well made that it looks very realistic, even the material used can be closely associated with flesh textures.

They spend good money buying the dolls, dress them in clothes, shoes, and interacting with them as if they are real babies. Some psychologists say it might be unhealthy as they might become obsessed or having difficulty of understanding what is real and what is not for long term, especially those who are doing it not for hobby, but as some kind of replacement of their lost loved ones.

I was reading the article, all the while thinking that it’s such not a good idea for a product that can affect human in so emotional way, and how cruel it is that people get attached to it because it reminded them of their lost loved ones. I think everyone can relate a lot or a bit that it’s much more difficult to move on if we are clinging to something that reminded us to the things we had that we already lost. It’s difficult the way it is, let alone looking at the reminder every day, every moment.

It could be true that time probably heals, that someday the reminders are probably there to make you smile because of the good things in memory after you get over the tears of losing them. That is the line when we already crossing over, moving on.
But what about this, can they move on? Would reality become confusing?

Then it hit me on the last paragraph. One person defended themselves saying (not in exact quote) that she is well aware of what it’s real and what is not, it’s just nice to have something like that because she feels safe that the baby will always be healthy, don’t fall sick and won’t die…

The last sentence smacked me in the head. Yes, it’s such a simple wish, such a simple dream but yet so difficult. From all human selfishness we could see around the world, genuine love is probably that one thing that saves the faith for everyone. How it is much more painful to see people you love suffer in sickness and we wish everything that is best for them.

Sniff.

Timor Leste (19-26 February 2011)

2011-05-28T00:40:00.001+08:00

I think this is the most time I took to finish one journal:

Timor Leste, click below:

http://apingpingaa-timorlestefeb2011.blogspot.com/

or find the link on the side bar.

Cheers,

Ping

Doraemon Comic

2011-05-11T16:38:00.002+08:00

I don't have the same memory quality these recent years.

I used to be good with numbers and details. During 2000, when ICQ was 'in', by only logging in few times I remembered my 8 digit number username and my friend's. I remember dates, birthday and small occasions. It was all the glory of the past.

Now, I don't even remember where I put my stuffs. The worst thing, those that I lost are the one I intended to keep it well. By the time I kept 'I chose this particular place to keep so that I won't lost it' and end up losing it. It happens so often that it becomes quite frustating to me.

And more than ever, I forgot occasions, something I never did. Some occasions can be totally swept out on my mind just like that, and I still had problem recalling them even when I was convinced that it indeed happen.

When I was in Primary three, perhaps 8 years old, I had my tonsils removed because of infection. It's a common thing and common operation, but I remember that the doctor told my parents that I might suffer forgetfulness or short term memory, temporarily.

It didn't happen, my mind was bright, up until now. He he.. I think it's too late to blame on those.
Anyway, for important good memories, I still had it clear in my mind, it's just little tiny weeny medium things, so far it didn't really bring too much negative impact in quality of my life. Although yes, sometimes I feel annoyed and think that, how if someday I forget something meaningful? I'd be sad, I don't want to forget anything I had been going through, it's part and pieces of my life, sad or happy.

So, all the while I, of course, don't get any positive impact from the questionable memories, until one day it was kind of bless in disguise. See, my favorite comic book, Doraemon, he he..they have published this new colored version lately. The stories are not as compelling as the usual series, but it's still entertaining. So everytime I happened to visit Indonesia I would buy if it's already in the market. I had 6 books so far, and yes, I had read them at least once.

But last week, when I read it again, I couldn't remember it. For all six books, I could only remember reading few stories. Ah?? But put all the questions aside, it's bless in disguise, it's as if I had new Doraemon comics, and enjoyed it as if it's the first time I read them.

Yah, regardless how small and significant, it kind of made my day. :)

Okay!

2011-04-28T14:10:00.002+08:00

I miss writing.
Or to be exact, I miss having a mood to write.
When I checked my archive, I haven't really write anything much this year, or even last year.
I have ideas, things and stories to write, but it's either the mood didn't get to me, or the things that I had are too private to share.

Anyho, let's get cracking. I plan to get started, and I have to. I'm not dead yet.

What is up with the royal wedding?
Seriously, I don't read much news nowadays, yet I couldn't seem to escape hearing something about it. Let me put it this way.
I could not care less about it.
Enough of it already. I can understand that it's big in England, but why the hell it's became a breaking news internationally, does anyone really care? Two married got married. Big deal, they are royal. Big deal. To me, they are just two ordinary people getting married, no offense, they are not even interesting characters to me. So all the hype and everything are completely waste of space, there are billion other news more deserving and important to appear in my television set. Argh.

Other thing, again, seems like we can't see summer in 2011 too. Last year, May, June and July was as rainy as those months ended with 'ember', September, November, Desember.
Now we are entering May already, and the weather is as wet as ever. Yesterday I was caught in the rain on site in the morning, thinking that my afternoon will be spared. But nooo, it was raining heavily in the afternoon too.

Why I concern about weather? I like rainy weather in the city (read:not in holiday), the days become cooling and pleasant. Rainy weather is bringingout my indoor mood to get really relax, like, writing, listening to music, play game, sleep, any relaxing activities.

However, rainy weather sometimes deprives me from doing my other favorite activities, taking pictures, cycling or doing something outdoor. On the less fun note, it also make my work more difficult if progresses are delayed because of rain. Other new reason that I have, now I'm in the mercy of weather because of my new mode of transportation, ngojek boooo.
The whole taking up of motorcycle license probably deserve its own post. Yah, now I'm at the mercy of rain, and seems like every afternoon, there is always heavy pouring rain here. Sometimes it stops on time, sometimes it's not. Since I lost my riding buddy, it's not fun to stay alone in the office waiting for the rain to subside.

What else is worth mentioning? Aiya.. mood again.
I haven't been in contact with facebook for almost three months. It seems like short time, but I dreaded to jump in. A lot of things to clear and more things to catch up. I guess I'm fine living without facebook. For me, it's like, when I'm active, I'd be active, but once I left, it's hard to drag me back. Thinking of clearing up everything numbs my nerves. I also have to finish my journal, it's been too long. Anyway, this weekend is long weekend, hopefully it gets me up and running, I mean writing.

Destination Burma & Bromo

2011-01-06T14:36:00.004+08:00

Finally got time and mood to catch up with some of my journal:

Destination Burma (October 2010)
http://apingpingaa-myanmaroct2010.blogspot.com/

Mount Bromo (November 2010)
http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Cheers..!

Who are my friends?

2010-11-08T16:24:00.000+08:00

Nowadays people who doesn’t know facebook might be considered as outdated, especially those who works in office or in front of computer most of the days.
Personally, I don’t think that they are outdated, because I still have many friends that are not active in internet, some even hardly ever touch internet.
On the other hand, they might have better lives, peaceful, rare and real. They make friends with real ‘touch’ (face to face, voice on the phone, or handwriting on the paper),
They do real thing (if they play fighting, it’s real punch, if they play game, it’s real game) and if they grow vegetable, we can actually cook and taste them.

Haven’t watched Social Network or what the movie called, but I do agree that networking bring another level in human life, although I might be one of the few who prefer real ‘touch’ but with networking, we can keep up-date with our friends, although not in so much personal level as it used to be. There are many advantages from internet, each comes with its own baggage, but consider that now we can again, keep in touch, make friends, discussing similar interest and gain knowledge, lots of knowledge.
As my good friend pointed out lately, there are many things we can learn from internet, and it’s actually indeed amazing. Show of hands from those who had learned a recipe from internet, read something useful about things you want to do, place you want to go, pets you want to keep, found something that you hardly know it exists, and just to fill up some spare time, reading something funny or something you like, the list goes on and on.

I haven’t reached Twitter level yet, it sounds like an interesting concept though. For facebook, it’s nice to see what’s up with friends, how are they, how they look like now, and whether they are the same persona after all those years I haven’t seen them. How they multiply and go on with life, I really think it’s nice.
But on the other hand, friends can get a bit tricky. Who are my friends? Is knowing someone for a while qualified as friends?

I do appreciate the concept that we can find new friends through facebooking. But most of the time, I don’t understand the friend requests. Someone can pop up from somewhere asking to be friend without something I can link too specifically. I simply don’t really want a total stranger to see what is happening in my life on personal basis. And if you genuine want to be friend, what is wrong with a start? Perhaps some effort to introduce, intention bla bla.. just like the old time concept, penpal. It would be nice to know someone bit by bit instead of pouring too much information by giving them access to your day to day life. I might be too outdated to want this, but yeah, I guess I need more than just to meet the eye to make friend. And that is not even ‘meet the eye’ ; p..

The funny ones are requests those who locked up everything in their profile and suppose that I can take a guess about who they are. I’m on the bandwagon and understand completely that people lock up their profile, me too. But if you try so hard to protect your identity, why ask random people to be your friend? One click away and they can see everything. Or they might be a ghostie, a term for fake id account to spy or gain information.
I’m sure most people have any kind of friend requests. But think about it, I want to be your friend. My online name is not even real. And that’s it. Take it or leave it. Of course I’ll leave it. Who knows you are a psychotic crazy person or worse, someone from work? ; p
This also apply from people with ‘open’ profile. Yes, they are outgoing and out to make friends. I do like the concept that “everyone is friend” or the kid’s style of friendship “friend is someone who meets your eye in the playground/who has the balloon, who run around, who wear funny costumes, well, there are many criteria for a kid to choose a friend, but it’s almost anyone who can talk or play with. I think it’s nice, in ideal world.
But in cyber or real world, exposing yourself to random strangers is never good.

Anyway, another more funny thing are those who tried to do something and it’s so awkward that it’s funny. So those friend requests came with messages like ‘Hi Aping..’ ‘Aping…’ ‘Hey Ping’
That’s it, that’s all. As if that explained more, but they gave me a chuckle nevertheless. I’d like to have new friends, perhaps someone I can click with, someone with something in common, or someone to brighten each other days, someone who has history in my life, someone who comes and drop along, or someone who make right genuine impression, but I don’t want to be just another count in your friend’s quantity without any actual personal relation. It’s pointless.

There was one winner of all though. So this guy send a request, ignore once. He sent a long message, asking how I am, telling story, which and which. At that time, I understood he got wrong person, so I pointed out to him. But he didn’t buy it, he kept insisting, reminding me of things I’m not familiar with, this and that event, who and who (it went on and on for few cycle of Q and A) until finally, one fine day, he accepted that he got the wrong person. But he still insists to be friend. Although he gave impression that he is friendly and fun, but I’d rather he finds his real Aping.

The latest one I got, is from someone with the same name, Aping, and he is a guy. What, there can’t be two Aping in facebook!
So no friend! Hahaha…

Constant Change

2010-10-26T13:53:00.003+08:00

The only thing that is constant is change.

How true, and how sad.

I always feel I belong more to group of people who are free-spirited and willing to try new things that are adventurous.
I embrace changes, for the better, for the spices in life.

However, changes also make me sad, it has especially turning me into defense mode, that I turn on, but whatever defense mode that I wear,
It doesn’t make changes easy for me.

Yes, for sure, I’d love to try many things in life. Watch live show, concert, jump from cliff, jump from aeroplane, skiing, boating, you name it, I’m willing to try if I have chance and fund. I probably can’t wait for some day when I move to a place that I really love, with sky on my head, sea after few footstep, and mountain visible from my window. But maybe those things are not changes. Those are challenges, those are dreams.

Changes to me are like more on personal relationship matter. Someone drifting away, someone moving away, people come and go. People come and go.
Is that life? We came alone and will go alone. Along the way we might be alone. Some people drops in our life, make significant influences and touch our lives, some are just passerby.

We are all living in rented time.

We're on the road
We move from place to place
And oftentimes when I'm about to call it home
We'd have to move along
Life is a constant change...

The friends we know we meet along the way
Too soon the times we share form part of yesterday
'Cause life's a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no

Clouds that move across the skies
Are changing form before our very eyes

Why couldn't we keep time from movin' on?
Hold on to all the years before this moment's gone?
Why must we live the days at such a frightening pace?

Have we outgrown our Peter Pans and wings?
We've simply grown too old for tales of knights and kings
'Cause life's a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no

-Jose Mari Chan-

Thanks for all good guys

2010-09-30T16:29:00.002+08:00

Let’s get on writing.

Most women always complain that guys are insensitive, less compassionate and mud-headed when it comes to feelings.
For me, I always thought that guys are just more collected, they are from Mars, their nerves are probably less attached to the heart,
their tear-ducts are purposely clogged, so most boys don’t cry.

Until recently, although I probably had known but never comes to full realization before, that guys are much more noble that all of that above.
It was just a simple little thing in life that showed me that.

I’m into plants and gardening for about a year plus, which is something new to me in the past and even now. I was trying to set up a very simple water tank when I stumbled into
a fish shop that had many many mini fresh water pufferfish.

Get this right, I’m terrified of fish. Call me bullshit, as I dive. I embrace underwater fish in their natural habitat, but I’m particular scared with fish that are kept at home, in a tank,
wherever I might have a chance to see them dying or suffocated by jumping out. However, this particular mini puffer attracted my attention because of their mini smily faces, their cuteness, and how they look healthy in the tank, more over I always have soft spot for them in the sea. Although hesitating, I brought up the idea of puffer tank to hubby, who then suggested me not too.

First, his excuse was it would be smelly if not well taken care of. But it shouldn’t be an issue because once I committed to something, I usually take time to make sure I’d do necessary care of them. I was slightly disappointed, but together with my own hesitation, I then told my friend who encouraged me for puffer fish tank about why I would not do it.

Then I found out another reason, the real reason, that hubby had tried to keep the very same puffers in the past. It was so hard to maintain, water temperature etc etc that the whole tank rapidly perished within a week.
My friend told me, no wonder hubby rejected the idea, beside he worried about my fear, he knew it would be very difficult, and then he had to console me if anything failed.

Then it hits me.

This is the task of every guy, well, every good guy has to be aware and brace themselves to. To always be there to console the other sex when anything going wrong.
They have to be the ones who are stronger, who can lend a shoulder to cry on, and by the same time trying to compress their own feelings or sadness.
This is merely a significant example, but the point is quite clear.
I remember how my dad and my uncles trying to console my mom when my grandpa passed away, they had to be the strong one and nursed their sorrow a little while later,
probably on their own.
Or when something bad happens that affected all, you’ll see the girls cried or whatever while the guys rarely shed a tears in front of anyone.

What is worse, not being able to express your sadness, have to offer words of encouragement when they themselves need ones or have to appear strong when you are broken hearted inside?

And we sometimes thought they are the worst consoler just because they don’t know how to say the right comforting words.

Blessing to all good guys.
Thanks for being there for us.

.

Stray Puppy?

2010-08-24T13:45:00.000+08:00

Last week during my usual routine in the morning, waiting for bus in bus interchange, I saw this small black kitten lurking around, looking very puny and fragile. Navigating in between shoes, looking for something to eat on the floor, it invited many stares.
It's not an usual sight in public area, because stray animals are not really welcomed here.
If it was a stray puppy, that is even more rare.

Yes, we hardly ever seen stray dogs around residental area, but they can be found in less urban aka those places a distance away from the city. On the pros, it's probably good for the environment and hygiene as animals can sometimes be destructive and make a mess. But have you seen animal categorized as human species making mess? How do they score compared to dogs? On the cons, where does all the stray animals go?
Put for adoption, yes, euthanize, yes, cull when there is a disease outbreak, yes.

Why is it hard to find home for dogs? Because you are not suppose to keep big dogs in apartment, unless it's condominium or landed house. Why? Don't ask me.
For apartment, only small dogs are allowed. Ironically, majority of dogs for adoption found in animal shelter are big dogs, because thet are abandoned by their owners who stay in condominium and landed house. How many percent people living in apartment here? Majority, and there are many candidates to provide good home for their dogs, or big dogs. But they can't.
Every time I pay a visit to animal shelter, almost all of the dogs put up for adoption are illegal to be put in apartment.

So, there goes the hopes. For the dogs. For lives.

Menado August 2010 Journal

2010-08-17T17:20:00.000+08:00

Latest Menado Journal:

http://apingpingaa-menadoaugust2010.blogspot.com

Cheers,
Ping

Gilberrish! (Is it even correctly spelled?)

2010-08-16T16:16:00.002+08:00

Yah!
Again, I haven't been writing here although I write a lot in my thought, in my mini journal that I keep private.. because some things are just not meant for share..
But I also kinda sad to lost touch for a while because writing is not just about personal stuffs, and there are one thousand and one way to reflect what had been going on in my life or my mind or things around me in words.

Life had been a roller coaster for me this year. I can be the happiest person and lighten up one day, but the other moment, I will stare blankly in sadness about what to become.
I can be the liveliest strongest unbreakable person when my spirit was high, especially after I completed my dream journey to Rinjani summit, one of the most beautiful mountain on earth, but I could be crush down with little failure upon failing a subject in my motorcycle lesson.

For now, I can say, I am in stable condition. Hue he he...
I'm happy, although I don't know what direction I want to take.. just because I have found my foundation and the clearer sign, eventhough I haven't found the answer. Hm... apa coba...
Put it this way. I am happy for the moment it is. For every little precious moment that is rare. For every little opportunity that is granted for me.
Nobody will understand that, maybe. But one advice might be applicable to everyone.
'Cherish every moment, every single moment, as if there is no tomorrow. Because for many things, there really is no tomorrow, or nothing will ever be the same.'

Confuseddd?????? Same here!!
You think it's easy to get those wisdom above? I contemplating for a long time and even so, I'm standing on shaky ground where I can topple any time. So for once, when I'm sure, I want to write it down.

Another advice that is simple but bloody difficult to do 'Never let anything crush your spirit.'
Difficult??? You bet...

I'm so sorry if above post sounds gilberrish.. I didn't mean to write when I logged in.. and I'm still in holiday mood and screen saver. I just want to get back to writing again, as it certainly can fulfill my soul.. ta-e-lah......

I have two personal projects now, since I'm still in the mood, let me share the secret..
First I want to create a page, what is inside? Let me gather my will and hopefully I really will put my effort in this..
Second, to create a secret journal where only me or people who don't know me might read.

Sound gilberrish? Ya.. still....

Spirit!

2010-06-17T10:50:00.003+08:00

I haven't been very active in updating this blog, not that I don't have anything to write, but most of the things happening to me lately is either too private to share, I don't want to talk about it, or they belong in their own journals.

I have been putting ideas to write more often, for myself, or trying out to write more professionally as suggested by some, but this lazyness keep hovering above me. Not only that, writing actually takes a lot of time.
For blog, it's alright, but it still need significant amount of time you can steal during the day.
For journal or something more credible, sometimes I got sick of it just by editing it over and over again.

Anyway, this year has been flying very fast and it has been a good year for me. I want to make it a year when I make things happen. Really happen and go out there and realizing it, so I hope I can keep the spirit high.

Keeping spirit high is actually a very big challenge that always tempted by something else every other day. Keeping mindset positive is also another challenge harder to face the older I get. Hmm.. what an irony.. but I'm sure it happens to a lot of people. Live longer make me more skeptical.

So I write this short entry, not to fill up space, but to remind myself to keep trying.

You too!

.

Rinjani Journal

2010-06-08T10:26:00.002+08:00

Wahhhhh.. long lazy ...eh... Sabatical from writing...

But I have journal..
http://apingpingaa-rinjanimay2010.blogspot.com/

Cheers,
Ping

Alamak

2010-05-07T09:49:00.004+08:00

Have you ever stuck in a situation where you hardly had any spare time and when you have it, you wonder what you should do?

I am!

When I have spare time I can actually check my facebook, write to my forum or do other things i used to do but sometimes I just sit there with a book in my lap that I don't intend to read. Those are the things I should be doing but I can't gather my mood because what I want is just to stare blankly on the TV screen and rest.

So my intention for today and tonight is to take 10 minutes to write this blog and declare that I still exist, maybe check facebook and appreciate what my friends are doing and I desperately need to log in to my forum because there is something really important to do there. It is closing. I am very sad. And I am guilty as I haven't been active like forever. But it's still my little wonderful cyber world and it has been more than five years and these small community still remember me.. hiks..

Yah.. tonight it is!

Imagine

2010-04-09T09:01:00.002+08:00

This is one of the songs with the best lyric. In my opinion.
I was smitten with this song long time ago, and upon chance to hear it again,
this time, again, really ponder through the lyric, but I look at it a bit differently.

Average monkey. Or... average weird monkey, like me, will love to imagine a world
without countries and religions. I don't mind countries, one of the things I love to do is to learn or read about other's cultures and uniqueness.
On the other hand, I might be in the minority for thinking that the absence of religions will make the world a better place. We need to learn common sense good and bad, right or wrong to live side to side, but we shouldn't differentiate and divide ourselves the way it is happening now. After all, religions are interpreted and practiced by human, one single animal species that make the most mistakes, driven by the most greed, most capable of cruelty and violent among their own species and other species.
Yah.. I think we’ll be fine without that.

Now I ponder about another phrase in the song “Imagine no possessions”
No need for greed or hunger”
I guess in the past I didn’t really give the first sentence a long thought. (Not that I say we have to ponder through every song lyrics as way of killing time. It’s just me being me, my brain is randomly scattered that I think about random things. All the time. Many times too much for my own liking.)
If I can say confidently that religion doesn’t matter to me, I can’t say the same for possession, and I’m sure, neither do majority of everyone else.
It’s the urge to decorate my shoes with those cute buttons that are honestly not really applicable for my age (but do I look like I care if anyone think so? ;p), it’s the dream of going places and doing things, it’s the crave of Indonesian food, it’s a sadness of seeing your favorite white top with chilly stain and the possessions of those you love and care about. How would I ever let it go? How could someone can be completely detached? Detach from earthy possessions, that I’m sure can be achieved at certain level, although I’m nowhere near. But detach from emotional possessions is something I can’t even… imagine.

Ah well..
I really do respect the writer of the lyrics.
I should continue ponder his other work that has excellent writing quality also.
Another one of the most straightforward lyrics: Jealous Guy
I’m not really a fan of John Lennon or Beatles but I love these two song’s lyrics.

Paralel Universe

2010-04-01T15:22:00.003+08:00

April Foooooool!!!

Nah. Does anyone still doing prank on April Fool?
My friend said people in Hong Kong still believe so, but I don't know how updated is he.

Not because of April Fool, not because today is Thursday and tomorrow is starting of long weekend and Easter and my long awaited holiday. Or because currently I'm sitting alone in the office and I have been trying to work since morning, but thanks to me being at a milestone of work I can take a little bit of breath or thank to my sleepy eye and holiday mood I prefer to log in blogger and type something random that comes to my mind.

Paralel Universe.

Neat.

If I didn't spend too much time reading rubbish since morning, I would go around internet to read up some interesting theory about paralel universe. But since I have tired eyes (reading on screen is taxing to eyes!), screw theories and histories, I just want to bluff myself at the moment.

Have you ever wonder how it is like if you take different path on your life and where would you end at this moment?
Just like the detective book I read during childhood 'Pilih Sendiri Petualanganmu' or whatever translated 'Choose Your Own Adventure'., when you can pick what you want to do and see your ending.

Somehow I found the book suck big time. First, it is too thin to qualify as a book, second everything is random, they can anyhow make up about anything and you just leave your faith to the writers with ridiculous progress in the story. How would I know there is a freaking deadly spider behind this door, or eight-headed snake that would chew my face when I walk that way? Somethingg like that. Yah, I always end up dying in every scenario. Not fun.

Maybe it would be fun if it's indeed a quality detective story that weight your choice based on clues and riddles.. don't you think... not too difficult riddle that you might need to bang your head to but simple riddles like that Professor Layton thingy.. Layton or Clayton? Although the movie is out, it's been a while since I woke up until wee hour in the morning trying to solve his puzzles.

So.. would it be different if you take different path in life?

How if I didn't pass the test to enter my Uni? I would have met my husband earlier in my other Uni choice that he happened to be in.
How if he took the offer to study in my high school? I would have met him earlier.
How if I decline my chance to work in Batam? I wouldn't have met him.
How if we didn't suck it up to difficult lives there? I would have been somewhere in Central Kalimantan and he would have been back to Jakarta.

How if I didn't pick Architecture as first choice when trying to enrole in my Uni?
I would have been rich. I'm quite sure. Must be better than now. Architecture sucks.
Noted that. Spread the words. Tell your kids.
Hue he he he...

How if I accept that invitation? That flower? That offer? I would have married someone else.
How if I pursue my photography interest since the beginning of my interest? I might be in somewhere cool, or begging on the street?

How if my mom really had the fund to put me in ballet school? I wouldn't be as robotic as now, or I might be the most robotic ballerina wanna be ever.

How if I never pass my very-short-phase-feminim-teenage year?
Nahh. This one I would pass. Fast. Regardless what route I take.

Yah. It could be it.
Regardless what route you take, it could lead into the same thing.
A friend I know (Yalah! Otherwise why would I say friend?!) loves this movie called Sliding Door. I don't really remember the details, but something about paralel world scenario that somehow lead to...errr... different/same ending? What is my point?
Or Butterfly Effect.. (I hate Asthon Kurcher, but I like this Sci-Fi)..

Welll... Guess we never know... ?

I actually feel that this post is not complete, no ending, but somehow I feel too sleepy to continue.
Yah... being me.

.

*What if I decide to continue the story and find whole new level of theory????*

.

Kapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan??????

2010-03-17T13:57:00.003+08:00

Siapa yang sekarang sedang merasa senang dengan pekerjaannya??
Unjuk tangaaaaann...!

Kalo iya, lebih baik mandi kembang, bakar dupa atau apapun buat merasa bersyukur.
Karena pada dasarnya.., bekerja itu gak asik, jijay dan bikin frustasi. Mungkin ada saat2 dimana gua sangat menyukai pekerjaan gua, tapi kalo pada detik ini, saat ini, gua siap melancarkan bogem mentah ke siapa aja yang kasih gua alasan buat sumpek.

Ya, ya.. masih punya kerjaan, kudu bersyukur..
Iya... iya kok!! Bahkan gua mungkin termasuk yang unjuk tangan,
tapi biarlah di detik ini gua menikmati kefrustasian gua (bisa ya?)..
dan yang bikin lebih frustasi adalah kenyataan., kalau dimana pun, selama bekerja sama orang, selama berurusan dengan yang namanya orang, frustasi tetap ada biarpun levelnya beda-beda..

karena itu pas gua nemu dan mendengarkan lagu simple..
menarilah dan terus tertawa, walau dunia tak seindah surga....
tiba-tiba gua merasa digebuk dan perih dimata..

mood gua keangkat, tapi bersamaan, gua bener2 menyadari betapa pengennya gua keluar dari keadaan ini.. keadaan apapun yang bikin gua sumpek dan merasa terkekang..

mungkin istilah noraknya gua pengen berlarian dipantai, kejeduk sana sini atau kepeleset dipasir, gua gak peduli, tapi gua pengen teriak2 dan ketawa sekencang2nya dan bukannya ngumpet-ngumpet menyembunyikan perasaan dan berusaha mengontrol untuk tidak menyumpah atau menangis.

Andaikan..andaikan...?

Kapan gua berani melepas semua-semuanya dan bener2 menjadi buih2 di laut???
Ce-elahhhhhh.... edan......

....

....

tapi gua serius.

.

Cougar Love

2010-03-12T11:06:00.007+08:00

Hmmm…Tacky.
But unlike what we sometimes see in TV, cougar love is tough in Singapore. Just in few weeks, I read two articles about Cougar love goes wrong, in quite extreme ways.

Cougar is the term of older woman scoring younger or much younger man. It’s not necessary negative term, but it tends to go that direction also.

In first article, a parents of a guy, who is dating much older woman, ambush and beat her up. Confusing sentence? Let me try again, a woman was beaten up by parents of his much younger boyfriend. Better? I don’t care.
The boyfriend was furious and lodged police report against his own parents.
A lot of ugly dramas.

Second article, a guy is disowned by his parents when he had relationship and finally married older woman. He tried to ask for their consent, he tried to make peace, to no avail. The peak of all, he was chased away by his mother when he wanted to attend his father’s funeral. Despite going on his knees and tears, he was not welcome. His father’s wish on deathbed was not to let his son attend his funeral.

There are not many valid reasons flying around about why they reject ‘cougar’ that much, except she is a 'disgrace', sons are blind, and one, one, key reason, family tier would stop, the cougar might not be able to bear them grandchildren.

With all due respect to all parents, I would still say For Crying Out Loud. We are still living in ancient world, anytime, regardless how modern the technology and life has evolved. It’s not just for older generation, but actually very applicable for younger generation too, especially Asian. Give yourself a dollar, everytime you know and meet someone who view children as a way to continue your family surname (many Indonesian like me doesn’t even have surname!) , an indication of filial generation for grandchildren production, investment, for money and care on your rainy days when you are old, an must-have social status, a sure stage that everyone – diedie has to go through, an accomplishment of life.

Children are not object. They are individual. If individual are created the same, the creator might as well mass produce us. Bang bang bang… a thousand of Aping or whoever appear. When he gets bored, just release a virus and as easy as it comes, all Aping would be wipe out. Sama DNA. Same effect. Simple. No headache. When those Aping fights, they can go for hours, fighting using same method and all die together because there is no winner or loser.
Yah. It would be boring and crappy world I wouldn’t want to belong. I’ll be sick of them. Of me. Whatever.

Netizen post responses to the article, some share same thinking with me. Some says sons are not filial and disgraceful to their parents.
The sad thing is, until comes to age, those ‘cougar’ are portrayed as down to earth, nice and caring people, and it’s hard to find ladies with those quality in this modern world, you are saying? But when the number is out, Bam, they are disgraceful, slut, man eater, cougar, old hag.. That is really sad.
Not to mention that it doesn't work that way when the man is the much older one.

Parents are angel. They bring up their children until they can stand on their own. I would curse on anyone not being filial if they have angel parents and never repay their kindness when they are the ones who need us.

But it doesn’t mean that they control every aspect in the life, for future and for individual choices and decisions. They might have the reason of ‘I want the best for my children’ but what is the best? Anyone knows? And everything involves feelings are fragile. You think the sons prefer old woman if they can fall for younger and prettier one? They might question it everyday and fight but who can control feelings to be honest?

What is right for one might be wrong for others. And vice versa. Vice versa.
The world is soooo grey…, yet everyone see it as black and white.
I’d say blame Apple.

.

Bali Safari 13-21 February 2010

2010-02-27T21:14:00.002+08:00

Bali Safari Journal
13-21 February 2010

http://apingpingaa-balifebruary2010.blogspot.com/

Cheer...

Loner

2010-02-25T17:35:00.003+08:00

I am a shy person...?

Well, sometimes socializing kill me.
If I can choose I'll be going crazy if I spend one week without personal time tha none week alone without anyone.

Loner. Introvert or whatever it would be, but imho, not putting socializing as favorite activities doesn't mean one can't socialize.

In fact, beside having a blast hanging out with friends, I can hook up conversations with new friends or strangers easily, and I think I can mix myself into new environment or have new friends without much difficulty.

However, I can only limit my bandwith to certain capacity. If I have to meet friends that I'm not really close with, perhaps some relatives or newly known friends etc two days in the row, the energy really drains me. Sometimes I think I need to be around people, but many many other times I need alone time with myself or just the closest people in my life.

I prefer to eat alone rather than spending one hour with people I'm not really close to or comfortable with. Again, knowing them more is fine, I might gain new friend and I can do that, but I'm lacking of any motivation to put myself into the situation on the first place, if I can avoid it.

I declined two invitations last night to hang out with two group of new friends, one group even consists of one of my best friend wanting to introduce me to his personal friends, the others are fun people who like same activity with me. In fact, I was alone and was kind of needing something or someone to cheer me up, but yet, I chose to be a loner.

Maybe sometimes I wish I can be more outgoing, but having time alone or just being in circle of people I'm really comfortable with means more to me.

Although last night situation make me think, maybe if I'm more outgoing and just go out to hang around with them, would I gain few more good friends or would I feel miserable and uncomfortable?
From my statistic the first one is more likely to happen, maybe because when I really go out I can see that I can align with that particular people, if not I would decline forever?
Maybe next time when I have better mood. : )

I wouldn't change anything because I have been like this, well..., 33 years.
I think I just realize it more than ever.

You never know anyone or even yourself too well I think.

.

Beautiful Singapore

2010-02-03T13:41:00.004+08:00

There are many sides of Singapore main island, it takes time to explore, it takes moments to ponder.
The impression is always, big city, transportation hub, shopping center, busy roads, fast-walking city dweller, buildings, buildings, buildings.

Despite the limitation and the main characteristic, Singapore actually has many hidden places, if you care enough to explore. Places where you can see less people, places where you can say "I don't feel like I'm in Singapore."..

I have found some secret places by accidental exploration or introduced.
Some time ago, I found a nice patch of shore just next to the place I work. It's not that close, we needed to walk around 3 clicks to reach. But it's very nice, quiet, beautiful and green patch of shore overlooking the reservoir. The road is just a distance away, but we can forget the sound of traffic and feel 'out of Singapore'.

There is also lush 'forestry' quite near my house, even though it's next to the street, it's well hidden, and the amount of mosquitoes and wild macaques say so too.

Last weekend I explore east part of Singapore, where I stumbled upon hidden beach and beautiful pine forest. There are beaches where we could see people fishing, doing Kite Surfing (It's an impressive sport!), rope-boarding (I don't know what is the official name).

But the best, are still the secret bays where we can just watch the water movement on the sand, colorful sea snail, sitting under the tree and listen to bird chirping with extraordinary beautiful blue sky and vegetation along the way.

No closure for this post.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our hearts are drunk with a beauty our eyes could never see.
~ George W. Russell

Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
~ Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

100%! 100%!

2010-01-19T13:28:00.002+08:00

I take life seriously.
Perhaps too serious that sometimes I live as if there is no tomorrow.
So, end of last year I started to make resolutions again. Didn't write it down, but I carved in on my brain. Sadly, most of my resolutions are years and years old resolutions that I haven't able to fulfill because of the usual excuses; money, money, time, time. It's always money, it's always time. But I realized that there is bigger obstacle beside those two: will. The will to make it happen.
Yes, time and money always get in the way and I can't escape that, but I realize, if I really really put 100%, I probably can do it somehow. 50-60 or even 70% is not enough at all.

So hopefully this year I can fulfill the three wishes, with the resolution of putting 100% to my resolution (how confusing it is???)

Let's see. If all goes well, but mid of the year I should have crossed two out of the three things that have been my dreams for years.

Should try. For life is short. For life is always changing without waiting for you. For waiting and delaying means you waste valuable time.
Effort. Effort. Effort.

Wish me luck.

Don't Bang Computer To The Wall!!

2010-01-14T10:09:00.004+08:00

If there is one thing that can make me agitate in matter of seconds, is the failure of machinery. I have the shortest temper for this, at the worst I can almost feel my eyes popping up because suddenly my computer just refuse to do what I ask, do it differently or insisting to do the wrong thing, over and over again.

Website or internet are also my main source of wanting to break things around me. Idiotic html, persistent errors and unexplainable problems are three main things. Unexplainable problems, I don't make it up, I think they hate me back. There are times when any guys who are expert or suppose to be expert in IT scratch their head wondering why on earth the problem is occurring. For example, in my previous office, long-long time ago, my Autocad doesn't work properly if it's installed after 3d Viz. It had to be installed first, regardless what, no matter how. What logic is that??

The reason I am pissed because everyday, during lunch hour, an anti virus check or whatever will appear on our computer screen in my current office. And randomly, after checking, it would restart the computer and closing all applications without warning. The problem is, it doesn't happen often enough so I would remember not leaving anything important to save.
However yesterday, I was working on something, then there was an interruption to do something else more urgent. Combined with going out to the site and doing other things, I forgot that I might not have saved the first thing I was working, at lunch, the computer did its magic, and voila, this morning, when I tried to find the file, I can't find it everywhere! *&@#$$^@#$%@...!!

Don't...bang...computer....or..... IT...department.... to.......the.......wall......

.

Mother of All Monday

2010-01-04T13:47:00.003+08:00

Today is probably the day, where all the working people on earth, look up at the sky, and say to whoever they believe in "WHY? WHY? Why this is happening to me?"

Yah.. It is.. The dreaded Monday.
The bluest Monday. The Mother of all Mondays.
The first Monday in January.

People are coming back from holiday..and worse, all fo the sudden, all the quiet, bumbling, fun, cold, festive are all gone. Next holiday is not near the horizon (although thankfully, Chinese New Year is near here. And CNY is the longest public holiday of the year..two days..! Well, I meant to say it as sarcastic-ironic.., but living here for sometimes, I get really excited to this 'longest' public holiday).

People are coming back to office. Emails are flooding in, but not those tingling Christmas theme. It's work!
While I spent my December envying (is it a proper word?) those who went on holiday, at least for me the 'culture shock - mother of all Mondays' is not creeping me in as bad as the rest who enjoyed their December elsewhere. (Although it's bad enough, especially with the heavy rain this morning. You know what is the meaning of heavy rain???? Good sleeep!!).
So when my enviness (not a word I'm sure) is over, it's time they envy me for being quite okay waking up today. 'Lucky bastard' is the type of the look they gave me..
Kidding... a bit.. I believe some of the looks are 'Nice to see you again'
'Howdy' and some 'Arghhh, it's you again?' 'So, how did you root in office last week?'

Anyway.. I can say that my solitary for most of December had been quiet in nice way, when I have the whole room for myself, did whatever I want or picked my nose whenever I need.. I also found the keyboard clicking, phone ringing and familiar faces to be something good also.

It's nice to be in the office when we actually like one another. Lucky me?

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
- Anonymous

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
- Mark Twain

Wish You Laugh

2009-12-31T11:27:00.005+08:00

Okay, I think I rather close this year with humour instead of mockery. ;p..
And also to add to the record that is difficult for me to break... 9 posts in a month.

Wish you all good new year ahead with a lot of laughter and love!

Enjoy!

A young executive is leaving the office late one evening when he finds the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," says the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," says the young executive. He turns the machine on, puts the paper in, and hits the start button. "Thanks," says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

An elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. During desert, the man leans over and says to his wife, "Dear, there's something I have to ask you. It's always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like the rest of the kids. I must know—did he have a different father?" The wife drops her head, unable to look at her husband. "Yes," she admits. "He does." Tears well up in the old man's eyes. "Please," he says, "would you tell me who it was?" The woman pauses while mustering her courage. Then she says, "You."

A woman golfer visited a driving range and noticed the man next to her. "Pardon me, sir," she said. "You're aiming in the wrong direction, towards the golf shop." "Oy!" the man exclaimed. "Tanks for dat. Vitout you, I vouldn't know. I'm blindt." He then turns around and starts hitting out into the range. After a few minutes, he asks the lady how he is doing. "Not bad," she answers. "Most of your shots are straight and fairly long. Only a few of them are slicing." "Tanks, again," he replies. "Vitout you telling, I vouldn't know dese tings." A few shots later, he inquires again. "Do you mind I should ask a poisonal qvestion?" "Not at all," she replies. "I don't do vell vit the ladies. Am I ugly or vat?" "You're quite presentable," she replies, "I don't think that should be a problem." Smiling now, he says, "Vat a relief. I vas always afraid to ask. Again, I got to tank you." He was about to hit another ball when the lady interrupts him. "Do you mind if I give you a bit of advice?" she asks. "Vit gladness. All de help you got I vill take," he answers. "Lose the Jewish accent," she replies. "You're Chinese."

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"

The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"
"No." replied the CEO indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.

A man and his wife we re in a court for their divorce case.
The Problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.
The child Should be in my custody. "
The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"
The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...
Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

A man went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem and that he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the doctor told the man that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.

However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he were willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's trunk in the man's penis.

The man thought about it for a while. The thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or adverse effect on the elephant, the man decided to go for it. A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to use his newly renovated equipment.

As a result, he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure, he unzipped his fly and immediately his penis sprang from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his pants.

His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her face said: "That was incredible. Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering, he replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure if I can fit another roll up my arse."

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little
old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need
water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the old Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not want
to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find a lovely restaurant. It's owned by my brother and has all the ice &
cold water you need. Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he
staggered back, almost dead.

"Your fucking brother won't let me in without a tie!"

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

There once was an elderly couple who had been married for going on fifty years. Every morning, when the husband woke up, he would fart. A real bed shaker that left the wife's eyes watering. She begged him to stop, but he insisted it was a natural bodily function. He seemed to delight in her distress, and she was certain he was doing it on purpose.

Disgusted, she said to him, "One of these days, you're going to fart your guts out."

After years of enduring, she could take it no longer, and on Thanksgiving morning, after preparing the turkey, she took the giblets upstairs and slipped them under the covers, next to her still-sleeping husband's ass.

Not long after, she hears his wall-shaking flatulence, followed by an unearthly scream.

Twenty minutes later, her husband comes downstairs, white-faced and trembling.

"You were right, Dear," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out. But, by the grace of God, these two fingers, and half a jar of Vaseline, I got them back in!"

A woman went to her doctor for a followup visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my balls."

It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful curses.

On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the damn store!"

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started.."

This drunk is sitting in a bar and asks the bartender, "Where’s the bathroom at?" The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right." Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that comes out of the bathroom again. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opens the door and asks the drunk, “What’s all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away.” The drunk says, “I’m sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls.” With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, “No wonder, you’re sitting on a mop bucket!"

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him."
So then the foreman turn to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him."
The foreman is really pissed off now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells 'supplies'!"

So a guy and his wife arrives from a business trip and goes to his favorite steakhouse unaware of the mad cow outbreak in his town. The waiter sits them and says, "Our special today is duck or shrimp." The man replies, "I want a T-bone steak medium well." The waiter a bit miffed continues, "What about the mad cow?" The man looks at the waiter and says, "She can order for herself."

A duck walks into a store and asks the cashier: "Do you have any paddles?" Cashier: "No." The duck repeats: "Do you have any paddles?" Cashier: "No!" The duck asks again, "Do you have any paddles?" "NO!" the cashier shouts. Once again the duck asks "Do you have any paddles?" Fed up, the cashier shouts angrily "No! And if you ask me again, I'll nail your foot to the floor." So the duck walks out. The next day the duck goes to the store and stands in the doorway and asks "Do you have any nails?" The cashier says "no." The duck says "Good, do you have any paddles?"

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK, old-timer, time to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over." The old rooster says, "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about five inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM, he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head, "Damn it, third gay rooster I bought this month."

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes. The therapist was angry that his theory hadn’t worked with this individual, and he asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"

A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem you see, only you've got to promise not to laugh." The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In more than 20 years of being a doctor, I've never laughed at a patient." "OK, then," says the man, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is presented with the smallest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."

.

Designer Babies

2009-12-30T20:50:00.010+08:00

I want to close this year with what I do best: mencela!
What is the English word for that? Mocking? Yup, maybe.

Two or three days ago, in newspaper, I read an interesting article. This company provides sperms, what make it special is they provide sperms of celebrity look-alike. And so far, they are doing pretty well. Look-alike, mind you. And according to the article, best selling sperm is from a Ben Affleck look-alike donor. (What are they thinking?)

The even more weirder thing is that they can actually do customization.. so for example if you want Hugh Jackman chin, Tom Cruise eyes and Gerald Depardieu nose, or whatever, by all means! (I wonder how?! You mean you can decide which of that little sticky thing is actually eyes, nose?)

Anyway, I think it' quite scary to customize babies.. or designer babies, so they said. Well, it's just unnatural for my liking, where is the element of surprise, where is the cuteness of parent-children look-alike, where is the human element???

I heard before about customizing DNA so that the babies would be born healthy, well, I think that one might be a breakthrough in medical history in positive way. Who doesn't want healthy babies? Who want their babies to suffer? I've seen many suffering and pain so I guess that would be well received in respected way.

However, to design how a baby would look? Worse, with look-alike? You know what look-alike is.. look-alike can mean anything! What if the Tom Cruise look-alike is actually Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder? Hallooo... It's subjective! How many time someone says you look like some other people and you did your best to deny it? I know I did, many many times. From being flattered to WHAT?!? Get out of here!!

I mean, if you can secure the real deal, there is no point of going for look-alike. Sssshhhh..

But as I grow older, I learn there is one thing consistent.

Never say never.

Unless you really in the respective shoes, you never know what you are going to do or what you are going to feel. It's just so easy to judge from afar.

So, even though I find it ridiculous now, I never know what I would do in their position.
I guess every parents want their kids to have easier life, and honestly, people associate easy life with better looks. It might be true, proven many times. It might be not, proven many times.

But, one thing.... Ben Affleck? Come on...

.

Quizzes!!

2009-12-28T15:09:00.033+08:00

P.S: I had a handful of html, but hopefully it works fine!

Sometimes, I like to try out little quizzes like these, when I don't feel like doing anything heavy or something tasking. Everyone (admit it!) love to know more about themselves to certain extend. I think that human is so complicated that we don't even understand ourselves 100%. Some make it good like 80-90%, but most probably many fall into category of 60%, while some barely make it pass 40%. Where do I get these number? From my own undefined analysis. Mhe he he.. I'm quite sure about it though, and I believe if I'm very sure for long, it would be eventually true. Of course! Otherwise, I would change the numbers. Right..?

I used to call them silly little quizzes but I drop the 'silly' because sometimes I'm amazed with the result, especially when it says nice thing about me, of course. As the way I am, I love pop-up-less and really straight to the point quizzes without the need to sign up anything or those annoying quiz who let you answer 100 questions and tell you that you need to pay at the end of the day to know the results.

I found this website by accident, and believe me, I can spend significant amount of 'light' time just fumbling through all those, but after that, get on with reality.
http://www.blogthings.com/

I don't really wonder about this question, but there were some occasions that make me think "Am I a flirt?" I was told before by some friends (guys!) that some guys 'misread' my signals because I was being nice to them, and to guys, being nice almost equal to I like them too in more than friendly kind of way. I would brush it aside because it's unreasonable to me for not being what I am (which is: nice --> huekkk) and if they know me well enough, they'll see. Truth to be told, I proved my point. However, I was reading woman's magazine sometime ago, and to my surprise, there are many things that considered as 'flirt' to men. Even the simplest thing that looking at them in the eye or be playful with your hair. Hah? So I was willing to know, here are the relevant tests (many because I want to be sure), as I don't want to be misunderstood no matter how slight is the possibility and I'm not exactly in the status that allow me to flirt anymore!

Quiz: Are You A Physical Flirt?
Your Physical Flirt Level: 10%

You aren't a physical flirt. If anything, you tend to be a bit cold, physically.

There's a good chance that you don't enjoy touching people... or being touched.

And while there's nothing wrong with how you are, you may be sending people the wrong message.

So give a hug or pat on the back every now and then. Even if you aren't trying to flirt, it will make you seem friendlier.

Touche! I emphasize many many times that I don't like being touched as common communications. See what this amazing little quiz does? ;p

Quiz: Are You A Natural Flirt?

You Are Not a Flirt

Flirting doesn't come easily to you, and you can't stand anything to do with it.

You just try to be as honest and real as possible. To flirt would be fake.

While there's nothing wrong with being yourself, you might benefit from being a little more assertive.

Approach someone you're interested in for a change. Try talking to someone you're into instead of only talking to those already into you!

Quiz: What Kind Of Flirty Girl Are You?

You Are a Coy Flirt!

You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts in

While you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game on

A little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they crave

And in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile

Quiz: Do Men Think You Are A Tease?

You Are Not a Tease

You definitely know how to flirt, but you usually choose not to.

You're not the type of girl who leads guys on - and men appreciate that.

Your charms and sexiness are saved for the one guy you're into...

And for that, he digs you even more!

Okay, as you see, I'm suck at flirting. It's good to know though. I'll be mermerized if the tests prove otherwise! ;p

Sometimes, when I'm in emotional ride, it frustates me to think that I'm just one of the billions who think with my heart and being controlled by my feelings. While I believe I can't really escape from being with my gender, I try, try, try very hard to control my emotions (because it's tiring being controlled by them) and I hope I'm getting better by days.

Quiz: Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?
You Follow Your Head

You're rational, collected, and logical.

Generally, it takes you quite a while to fall in love.

In fact, you've even been accused of being very picky.

While you're cool, you're not ice cold.

You just know what you want, and don't mind waiting to get it.

Well now, hairy business.
Along my live, I can count with my left hand how many times I change my hair style.
I've cut my hair boy short two times, and both times it's icking me and it grows back. Fast.

Quiz: What Length Hair Should You Have?

You Should Have Super Long Hair

You are free spirited and carefree. You are a total wild child, and no one is going to tame you!

Your hair tells people that you're an individual who doesn't care what other people think. You and your hair break all the rules.

You are a mysterious type who has many secrets. You prefer to keep to yourself.

There's a lot hiding behind that hair. Very few people truly understand what you are all about.

If I wonder how they come out with these detail analysis from only few questions, I won't get good answer. But as long as it floats my boat, it's fine.
Speaking of which, the hairstyle situation below is just as accurate! Ha ha..

Quiz: What Hairstyle Are You?

You Are a Ponytail

You are energetic, laid back, and a lot of fun. You are ready for whatever life throws at you.

Your idea of style is looking presentable. You prefer simple, well fitting, and neat clothes.

At your best, you are productive, inspiring, and full of live. You love to be active.

At your worst, you are hyperactive and frenzied. Sometimes it's hard for you to calm down.

I believe in first impression. It helps that I often get it right.
Although I tend to get the negative side first..

Quiz: What Big Cat Are You?
You Are a Lynx

You are a quiet observer of the world around you. Your wisdom comes from listening carefully.
You've always been extra sensitive and aware. And it's made it difficult for you to fit in.

You see past people's outward personas. You are able to penetrate a stranger's soul.

What you've learned about people is both beautiful and ugly. And you keep these secrets to yourself.

Some things you are certain about yourself, especially if many people told you so.

Well, it does say many times that I am a loner..
I am far from social butterfly or bee or monkey (why do they call it butterfly anyway?), I prefer to eat alone than eating with people I'm not connected well with. I prefer to spend Saturday night at home doing my own thing than going to cool party with 'cool' people I'm not connected well with.

Your Personality at 35,000 Feet Is Thoughtful and Contemplative

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking.

You don't spend much time thinking about your place in the world. You are who you are - and people can just deal with that!

Your gift is relating to other people. You don't hide from your own emotions, and you are good at drawing other people out.

You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you.

You are happy as long as you are given some personal space. It's important for you to have your own private life.

For below, easy question: Who Doesn't?

You Crave a Blissful Life

Your dream is to live a light hearted, carefree life. You don't want to be bogged down by stress.
You'd like to recapture some of the playfulness and innocence you had as a child.

You believe that life should be about celebrations and fun. The world needs more happiness.

You want to focus on the positive and stay optimistic. It's too easy to get depressed.

Below: Hell Yes!
Want me to confess something? Put me in five inch heels and see what I'll tell you!

Quiz: What Type of Woman Shoes Are You?

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl

You can't be restricted by shoes for very long

And unsurprisingly, the same goes for men

Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

While I can be pain in the ass when someone tries to take advantage/bully/push me around (it's not only me saying!), What is scarily accurate below is: I love throwing things at people!

You Are Rock

Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.

People know they can't push you around, and they respect that.

Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.

You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

You don't mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

If someone makes you mad: You're likely to throw something at them

Okay..
Crazy, mad, weird, unique, enigmatic, I have heard them all..
Perhaps what confirm the fact is... I consider those as compliment...
Ha..

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?

But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

What makes my day?
Being told that I'm not one in dozen..
but 2% of the population! Woo Hoo!

Quiz: How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men

You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

If someone asks What is My Favorite Season, I'd say Fall.

Even though I love Summer for beach and diving holiday,

I love Spring for the color and beauty,

I would love snow for the coldness, mysteries and fun.

I would love autumn leave and orange forest..

Your Soul Is Connected to the Fall

You are a somewhat sensitive soul with a tough exterior. You are street smart and wise about the world.

You have the heart of a poet, but you're not too eager to let anyone else see it.

You are very creative and deeply talented. You are still looking for the perfect outlet for your expression.

You embrace change and think the cycles of life are beautiful. You don't shrink away from the darker elements of life.

Couldn't be more agree: I take playing and relaxing very seriously!

Quiz: The Snow Test

Your Snow Test Says You're Independent

You feel like something good will happen to you in the next few months.

You don't really like to work, unless work feels like play. You only are successful when you are doing what you love.

You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing.

Your biggest worry in life is your family. You stay up at night thinking about them.

When it comes time to relax, you always go the extra mile. You take relaxing as seriously as anything else in life.

Below are those things that caught me off guard.. and hell you also have every right to be..!

I'm confident and I have been lucky. But this? I wouldn't have thought, I thought jeans, T-Shirt, pony tail, plain face, sport shoes are wayyy no indicator for sexyness?!?!
Quiz: How Sexy Are You?

You Are Very Sexy

Damn! You are one hot number. You have a lot of sex appeal.

You know you're sexy, and you're not afraid to put it all out there.

And while you're very appealing, you're careful not to be trashy or over the top.

Sexy is all about attitude. And you totally have the attitude that people love.

How You Are Sexy

You are secure in social situations, and you definitely have a confident vibe. And that's very sexy.

You know what (or who) you want, and you're not afraid to go get it. What could be sexier than that?

You accept your body as it is, and that's sexy. If you feel attractive, you are more attractive - no matter what your shape is.

You are open to all sorts of experiences, and you have a taste for the exotic. Your adventurous spirit is very sexy.

I for one who always say that men are as complicated as women. I thought it doesn't count that all my siblings are male, it doesn't count many of my best friend are male, but now I suppose it does count?..

Quiz: How Well Do You Understand Men?

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone.
You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.

Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

I don't believe love at first sight but I believe in first impression. If only I can show this to future employee or future (fill in the blank) whoever I need to impress, no?

Quiz: What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?
You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones.

Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly.

Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to.

Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic.

You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you.

Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

For those monkeys who always say that except appearance, I don't belong to my gender, it's happy day for you! I'm more masculine, it says...But wait.. scroll to read what it has to say.. it doesn't mean I'm eunuch!

Quiz: Are You Feminime or Masculine?

You Are 45% Feminine, 55% Masculine

You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides.

You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you.

You are tough but tender. Logical but emotional.

You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.

Well, depends on how you look at these things, I tried tons of them and it's fascinating that I agree with majority of it, even when the result said bad things about me.

Anyway, if these gives you fun, relax your mind, why not? By all means..!

2010

2009-12-28T11:14:00.006+08:00

I am not in the mood to workkkkkk!!!!!!!

Is it only me or is it happen to anyone in this holiday season? I hope it is, because it screws me out, kind of. I'm dreading the day of 2010 when all the works will come pouring to me.

For many reason this holiday season doesn't feel like holiday to me..
First, we are not anywhere else.
Second, almost everybody we usually hang out with or care about is not around.

These two reasons sum up everything. Well, actually, it's not that bad, it's probably just something unfamiliar after spending two-three year of Christmas somewhere else.

So, instead of feeling dull or lonely this Christmas, I have to count on my blessings.

What am I doing now? Browsing, updating my blogs and reading some craps from internet! Seems simple but it's not!
In my previous company we were so deprived from internet access that we could end up overshooting the usage, even for work, and we already restricted ourself! My work involved rendering, when I couldn't do anything else but to let the computer took time calculating and doing the work. It's boring, and torturing.
That was why I bought an ridiculous priced 'smart phone' so I could do things like writing, playing or browsing internet if I bother to look for MC.Donald. As the result, and because I'm happy with it, I'm still holding on to the phone for 5 years.
Today, some of the interfaces had gone unreadable, but it still working fine, although some days I'm not sure whether it's awake or in comma. I vow to make it through the year, and the year is ending.
So, some people just don't realize how nice it is to have technology and the cyber world in your finger tips.

The year of Indonesian free-fiscal..!
It's this year or last year? Can't recall. Anyway, all my cursing and swearing because of the paperwork proved nothing compared to my friend's visit.
Yah, I think it's ridiculous that we have to pay to go out of the country. Now that we don't have too, the flock of wanted and unwanted people may come and visit me.
Well, I am not very good in handling people whom I don't like, namely whom you hardly know but suddenly got friendly because they want free accomodation.
Luckily, it doesn't happen much yet, and it's not likely to happen again, because even if i want too, I don't have room to offer.

Okay...good things, I could meet my long time friends again when they came to visit just a week ago, and it was fun hanging out with them here, because most of the time I went back Jakarta we hardly met for more than 3 hours.
They always say, meeting you childhood/school/uni friends make you feel younger, and indeed.. remembering all the silliness we did when we were younger and the still attached silliness we have deep in our heart (well mine is still on the surface).

The new friends!
We don't really have a flock of friends here, but we have few close friends and imho, that is much much better than many2 common friends.
We also don't have fancy friends who would drag us to fancy Christmas or New Year parties but we have ordinary friends who are just like us. We had few casual dinner to celebrate end of year and I'm just being very grateful for it.
The most elaborate thing I did with them would be to watch Cirque on Ice on Christmas Eve, thanks to a new friend from a friend who gave me a free ticket.. hihihi..

The new relative!
Never realize that it would be cool to meet a long-lost relative.
He's hubby's cousin who has been staying away for all his life, he can't speak Indonesian at all. He is the same age with us. Hanging out with him for two days proven to be eye opening of how knowledgable and fun a relative can be. It's amazing that both cousins can click after hardly met each other all their life, and the one time they met before this, they only spoke sign languages.

So I guess, even when my Christmas is not spent with my family, or longing somewhere exotic or foreign country, there are blessings and love I have to be grateful for I am indeed very lucky.

Time to look ahead for the new year with new resolutions in mind.. in mind only, mind you, because then nobody can prove that I don't fulfill my resolution..!
But I'm seeing good lights in my 2010 resolutions, because it's very likely that I'll put 100% effort to fulfill it, and most importantly, I have resources like will and companions to do so..

Yay for a good year ahead!

Silent Afternoon

2009-12-23T15:47:00.012+08:00

There are good days and there are crappy days in my year of 2009.
Is it a life changing year for me? Maybe, maybe not.

I hatched big dreams, but I'm still nowhere near.
I worked hard, but I'm still nowhere near.
I made good friends, casuals and few good friends, definately worth mentioning.

I had a two weeks eye-opening trip near my hometown, in remote islands of East Kalimantan, and spent two weeks living in basic and simple life. How I love it?
Yes, I love the simple life, I love that the biggest worries that they have is the rumour of scary encounter with something supernatural. Yah, I was in remote village, it was scary to be awake through the night after I heard the story. But I meant, if that is their biggest fear and worries, they don't know how lucky they are.

Windy afternoon, when there nothing to do, they just plunged to the sea, swimming, playing, enjoying the sun or rowing a wooden boat out to the wider hugs of the blue.
Or sleeping on the wooden deck overlooking the sky.

Yah, it's so nice and peaceful. I'd love to be able to do that.. but would I?
Maybe, maybe not. I think nature brings the best of me, and peaceful life is my goal.. However at this stage, I might not be wise enough to do so, I am still too attached, I am too complicated.

Sometimes I take thing easily, laugh them off and drop it to the sea.. Other times, I learn more that life is indeed sooo complicated that it exhausts me. Everyday, I'm learning new things, I'm experiencing new things and it never fails to surprise me how everything can happens. I even find surprises in myself, about what I am capable to feel or to do.

Ah well...
Perhaps this 2009, who comes and goes like lightning speed, had either been too kind or not too kind to me. (Or maybe because I feel melancholic now in rainy cold day with the nice but sad tinkling of Silent Night-David Lanz stuffing both my ears to conceal the sound of the world --> who says I'm not romantic, Rewind again).

I wish the coming year will be easier for everyone, more hopeful and more beautiful, less war, less misery, less hunger, less disseases, less sadness, less sorrow, more love, more wisdom, more simple and everyone got to fulfill what they want to fulfill, livelong dream or childhood desire or a simple nice hot chocolate for the souls. Hm.. the music really screws my mood.

And I wish that if 2012 really be the end of the world, I got to know about it. There are 1001 things I want to do before I die. I don't afraid of dying, I just hope that I got to do what I should do before that, doesn't everyone?

Oh crap.,

Merry Christmas!

Isn't one of my favorite Christmas song always relevant?

No more lives torn apart
the wars would never start
and time would heal all hearts
every man would have a friend
the right would always win
and love would never end...

what is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth..

.

Love Actually

2009-12-18T11:38:00.008+08:00

Almost every Christmas, this movie is shown in TV. I didn't give a glance about it at first; I thought it's another predictable chick-flick. In fact, it's been months or years the DVD just sat in one corner of my house without being touched, until one fine day, when every other option were wasted but watching abandoned DVD, then I newly found Love Actually.

What is love?
From my own pathetic way of trying to understand it;
Love is the most simple yet the most complicated human feeling.
It's indescribable, unexplainable, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
It's happiness, yet always co-exists with sorrow, sadness, fear and hurt.
To sum it all, it sucks.
But it might be difficult to live without it, for it's the meaning of life.
That makes it even more sucks, isn’t it?

That is why; I give the credit to Love Actually, to able to describe it best and right to the core.
Don’t think that I’m a nutcase rewinding the DVD to find these quotes, there is website with this kind of information. Although in fact, I remember them (not exact quote of course) because it’s memorable even when I only watch it one time.

To recall few of best definitions:

- A husband played by Liam Neelson (one of my favorite actors) is in mourning. He is heartbroken, especially when he thinks that his stepson can't go through his mother's death.

There come the conversations:

Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum, or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, well, okay... right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.

I love the boy character. He will grow up to be a fine gentleman who is wise beyond his year. Agony being in love? Hell yes. What is worse than that? Not many. Not much.
Many key words: agony, no one can do anything to help, nothing you can do about it, and you never are too young or too old to be in love. Wow.. wise kid huh, old soul.

[at his wife's funeral]
Daniel: Jo and I had uh, a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of her, uh, requests - for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral - I was confident she expected me to ignore.

Keyword: pain of losing can be eased with humour?
Where are you from??? Nothing can ease the pain of losing. If humor does, it just covers it up with a little bit of patty that doesn’t sustain under the sun and rain. If someone jokes about his/her sadness, that is the sign that he/she has even greater sorrow that what they’ve shown.
Love is sadness and fear. (That makes it even more sucks).

Oh, and this is extra from the adorable dad and step-son.
[deleted scene; Daniel and Sam are discussing Sam's true love]
Daniel: Option One: ask her out.
Sam: Impossible.
Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam: She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Daniel: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam: It's a route I've considered.
Daniel: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam: Hygiene.

Keyword: Love can’t be forced. When it’s forced, it’s gross.

- A man falls in love with character played by Kiera Knightly. She is married to his best friend. He has been hiding it forever and does his best to avoid falling deeper but to no success. Forbidden love.
This is my favorite scene, the Christmas choir and it sums up painfully but perfectly touching.

(on sheet of poster board)
Mark: With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
(show pictures of beautiful supermodels)
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this.
(picture of a mummy)
Mark: Merry Christmas

Awwwww....
Keyword: Nothing you can do to control it, heart commands brain (That makes it even more sucks), and wasted heart, wasted heart, wasted heart, pain, sorrow and helplessness. (That makes it bloody sucks).

- When character played by Emma Thompson discovers that her husband played by Alan Rickman might have his heart for another woman.

Karen: Tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do?
Harry: What position is that?
Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace, and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...
Harry: Oh, Karen...
Karen: Would you wait around to find out...
Parent: Good night!
Karen: Night, night. Happy Christmas! [back to Harry]
Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
Harry: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool!
Karen: [voice breaking] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish, too!

Research says men consider his partner having sex with another person is the worst affair, set aside love.
Women consider her partner falling in love with another person is the worst affair, set aside sex.
I am a woman, men don’t really think properly. ;p

Keyword: Love commands life. It changes everything. It’s heavy, risky and often life-long investment that no one in Wall Street wants to bet their money on it.
Who, in their right mind, want to bet their life on something that doesn’t guarantee return, might collapse anytime while you are losing your own value with every second passing?
Love is worst investment, yet we are suckers (That makes it even more sucks).
And, love is happiness, fear and sadness.

- A quiet and reserved love, a character played by Laura Linney, who ‘secretly’ in love with her colleague, but dares not do anything about it.
When she finally had her chance, she has to let go, because of another love, for her sick brother who demands sacrifice and her whole attention.

Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what... two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes. Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Oh, that is... that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes, and so does Karl. Think about it, for all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss!

Keyword: Sacrifice. Agony. Understanding. Again, co-exists with sorrow, pain, sadness and hurt. Alamak.

- Lost in translation, a man played by Colin Firth falls in love with his maid, but none of them understand each other because they speak different languages.

[neither understands the other's language]
Jamie: [in English] It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

Keyword: No barrier. No control. Tell you, the heart doesn’t care what the brain says.
But the amazing thing, it can also overcome barrier, if it’s strong enough. (Okay, that makes it less suck. But unfortunately, no many are that strong to conquer challenges, so, again, that makes it even more sucks).

- Again, differences, sizes, status. Not a really significant scene compared to the rest. But I love this dialog:

[talking about her ex-boyfriend]
Natalie: He says no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.

That are many other scenes but this few had already done the movie justice.

So, that should give everyone a better idea about what this little thing called love.
Brilliant writing I suppose.

Shamelessly, I thing my definition can cover much of those areas.
Here it is again.. shamelessly..
Repeat after me!

Love is the most simple yet the most complicated human feeling.
It's indescribable, unexplainable, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
It's happiness, yet always co-exists with sorrow, sadness fear and hurt.
To sum it all, it sucks.
But it might be difficult to live without it, for it's the meaning of life.

That makes it even more sucks....

UHU!

2009-12-17T10:29:00.002+08:00

I am clumsy queen.
Even though in the free-cheap-unreliable quiz that I took said I have a balance left and right brain, I am not balanced.

I am not balanced. I tipped on flat floor, I knocked my head on visible things I could have avoided. I ended up with bleeding forehead at least on two occasions. If high heels are not good for health, for me it's life threatening.
I stuck my hand on Power Glue before. Yah, it's common, but what makes it not common, I stuck my teeth too. You know, when it's difficult to open a cap of something, what would you do..? Bite. That is what I would do. It might not be 100% clumsy, it might be 90% stupidity.
So my upper teeth and lower teeth were stuck together.

Just now I put a big tube of UHU glue on my table. If everyone close to me has come to understand that it's not safe for me to be around delicate-fragile-breakable products, no many people know that I shouldn't be near glue also. Yah, while doing something else, I accidentally (of course!) elbow the tube that the glue spilled out to the table and all over my elbow. Beside imbalance, I have thick skin, it took me awhile to realize the situation, threefore the 'all-over'.
The glue stuck to my drawing and my ruler. I saved my ruler and tried to wipe the glue with tissue, in continuity of the action, I wipe my elbow with tissue too. Again, 90% stupidity.
UHU + skin + tissue = what happen? A mess!

I had to spend 15 minutes washing off my elbow and peeling off the glue, not to mention the skins that went together with the glue. Ouch. And still, trying to restore my ruler, I scrambled the storeroom and foun 3M adhesive remover. What seemed like good idea now add 300% more damages to the ruler because instead of removing the UHU, it adds to the stickiness and ruler became opaque.

Luckily no one saw the incident, but when my colleague learned about it, he just stood there speechless or 'Anything new?' reaction.

Ha!

Gender!

2009-12-07T16:08:00.006+08:00

Yah, it has been so long since I write without any purpose, ex.journal.
Reason being, I don't have time to idle in my work, not the kind of idleness that I can dedicate my thought to write something. At home, there are always something better to do, even if that means drop dead on the bed just to relax all the strain muscles and to be fair, fats.

I have bit and pieces of thought that I write in the bus, but it needs work to edit it also. Excuses..excuses...
Anyway, okay, to celebrate my third day being completely alone in office, I'll write something.
Yah, if you are aware about the chronological of my messy life, I've just gone to trip my three monkeys from my department. Afterwards, they are not working. Repeat, they are not working. Either going for another overseas trip, MC or courses. These three days I'm completely alone. Yah, it's quiet, but quite shiokkk (Sgp term for asyyyiiiik) that I can sit anyhow I want, or pick my nose or sing (without voice, my department is empty, not other department, I'm not ready to be shot with anasthetic bullet for elephant yet).

I had this offer since sometimes ago to go home with a colleague from different department. She drives, and stays just opposite my block. Long time ago, I declined because I didn't know her well, I would never want to trouble someone especially if I don't know them well. I'm painstakingly phai seh (uh oh..term for gak enakan ;p). She doesn't drive every day and there was one period of time she doesn't drive at all. Anyway, recently, she drives again and offers me to join her, together with other collagues. All those who stay nearby who happened to be inside the loop are all young girls. Well, they are younger than me, but they thought I'm their age.. ;p, until up to the time they can't figure out how come the whole time I am in Singapore I'm already working (I'm here for 8 years.. if they thought I'm their age, that means I come to singapore with high school certificate only..anyway..that gives way. Before they 're really confused, I told them how bloody old I am, I don't hide ages).

It also happens that they all belong to the category of more girly girls.
Last week, I agreed to accept this colleague's kindness and joined her car. It's nice to have friends outside department, as in more than work related. It's just that, I feel a bit like an alien and didn't know how to really fit into girly girl friends loop.
I couldn't really get all gigly and being nice to each other, and if you are aware, females are created as supportive. Regardless how screw up you are, some friends would offer you words of encouragement and actually tell you that you're/it's not that bad. Or be happy for what you do/achieve. Although behind might not be the same with in front, majority of 'normal' female won't tell you off on the face.
I'm not so normal in this, and I happen to be friends with other not so 'normal' females, so this is not a social skill that I have, also normal female tend to get so excited in something not so exciting just because they are being nice.

To sum it all, I felt awkward, maybe because I actually not very close to them. I enjoy conversations with them, as they are fun and friendly, but I can't help feeling that I don't really fit into their girl circle? Anyway, another invitation comes, although I have valid excuse, I can't say I'm not relieved.

Ah well, many friends like to joke that except physical appearance, I'm not really belong to my gender. I always take it as a joke, but after hearing it coming from four, five, six different guys who don't even know each other (hence no conspiracy here) should it got me worried?

Nah... at least some of them explain to me that it's because I'm fun to be with...
sort of "brother-brother"...

so it's okay..
right?
brother?
uh...
wait a minute... !
....

P.S: In order to get going, there is no grammar, typo, proofread or spellcheck etc...it's freshly typed here.
So don't blame me if it doesn't read well, I hope it's quite alright..

Vietnam 27-30th November 2009

2009-12-06T23:29:00.003+08:00

South Vietnam: Hoi An & Da Nang (27-30th November 2009)

Journal on this link:
http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Cheers,
Ping

Swissotel Vertical Marathon 2009

2009-11-24T16:22:00.007+08:00

I had more than my fair share to find myself in situation where ‘Why on earth I’m doing this’ and this was one of it.
I have lived with ‘I have to try this at least once in my life’ kind of stubborn rust that is encrusted in my brain and so far, so old, it’s still there. Which explains “Here we go again”.

My current colleague was asking me whether I wanted to join Standard Chartered marathon, or half marathon. My ex-colleagues had also mentioned about joining at least StanChart 10km run, but we never made it into reality.
Half marathon is around 21 km run, full marathon is 42 km run. Just for comparison, my jogging distance is around 2-3 km, that is after I make it regular. Before that, I felt like shooting myself when I ran just a mere 1 km.

Even now, jogging 2-3 km, I kept hearing voices in my head. Stop! Stop! Give your 1000-years-old radish leg a break. Sometimes I succumb, sometimes I ignore the voices. But I tell you, it’s very worth it to listen to the voices.. he he…

So to say, running long distance is not my thing because I love sprinting. 200m is the nice distance for me. 100-400m is also good distance but that’s the max. After that I would burn down, so marathon is never ever be in my list to do. On the other hand, it encourages me to do something I might be able to, in this concrete jungle setting where I have to stuff my other hobbies into ‘one-in-a-while’ shelves.

So I found this vertical marathon, and judging from my much younger, much skinnier, much fitter favorite activities, going vertical might be more of my cup of tea. (Please read the bold text again)

So I found the info in website, 1336 steps, 73 storeys race up to the helipad of one of South East Asia tallest hotels. When the registration time opened, I signed up before I got chance to procrastinate more. Preparation.. not as much as I want to, what I did mostly is to keep fit. I did try to climb actual distance in housing block, my colleague (thanks! :) even helped me to find highest housing block ---> less than half the height but it’s just not the same. A month before the actual vertical marathon, I had rows of hectic weeks and months in office so I almost didn’t have time and mood to exercise, together with overseas trip, knee pain, leg cramp and whatever whatever, I only have one thing to hope on the day, get it done and go home. Or maybe abort. Ha… I’m serious. I was a nervous wreck, more like when I was waiting for my turn to go on stage to perform on whatever school events (forcibly of course), or in waiting room waiting for dentist while big construction works being carried out next door (with all the drilling and hanky panky sounds). It would be much better if I have a participant friend with me, but whoever I asked avoid me like a plague ;p, lucky I had hubby who accompanied me, at the same time taking ‘sport pictures’, one of the fields we haven’t got a chance to try.

He said I looked pale and I felt my hands shaking, I guess those dare-devils days were over. I might be a wreck in the stage and dentist, but I was never scared in sports and adventures. Yah..the glory of age and working life have taken their tolls....sucks.

Anyway, after long waiting for my category, we were lined up 6 by 6. I gained 3 instant friends who shared the same rows, so it eased up my nerve even to the point that I didn’t feel it at all.

We were supposed to run short distance before reaching the stairwell. From there, we would start to climb. I didn’t run fast to ‘conserve energy’, I also took one step at the time to prevent too much strain in the beginning of the race. Whether it makes or breaks my time, I would only know when I have chance to try it out again in the future.

The beginning was easy; I sped up for what I thought about 9 storey, only to Holly Molly! when I saw I only reached 3rd storey. What!?!!??? Are you kidding me??!!
A while later I started to pant, and all tunnel vision started getting into me. I have recurring low blood pressure and this is one of the early symptoms before I really need to sit or pass out. But I have recognized that without shortbreathness, it should be alright to continue.

Along the way there were some ‘casualties’, people resting on the landing connected to respective floors, some were sitting, some were lying. I was sooo tempted to join them, all I had in mind was the convenience to just pass out.

Reaching around 28th storey was a very difficult mile stone. You have wasted almost all of the instant energy and yet it’s long loooong way to go. It’s not easy to take over someone because of the space and I tend to just follow her pace. The cement staircase, the greyish surrounding colors were like never ending nightmare. Once every few landing I think there would be some medical personnels. They would cheer us up.. come on, you can do it, keep going, 30 more storeys…hurray… it’s nice of them, but okay, it didn’t really encouraging what…we were sweating like pigs and they were having fun with their legs not moving! Why would we believe what they said?! Two contestants who were friend with each other stopped every once and a while to take pictures. There was also official mid landing personnel who asked us to pose for pictures but who would.. not me, told ya, I’m dying dragging my 1000-years-old radish up.

It was like never ending, I got blank mind but kept trying to walk up. Sometimes I rest the leg for few seconds but it was too good that I had to continue before I really stopped climbing.

One girl in my row in front of me was disappearing into thin air after 3rd storey, she looked like seasonal participants and very experienced. I took over only few people including two or three men from previous category.

Finally, reaching around 67,68..whoa…few more stories left, then I realized that it took longer and longer to reach each storey. From U staircase it became square with four landings, then there were more steps…aiyoh!!!
When I saw number 73, I saw the light (hihi maybe this is how heaven light looks like. Then I saw more personnels looking down and said..Almost!!! One more staircase!

One more?!! Excuse me, I thought it’s 73!!?!! Turned out there were still half a storey out there, and about ten meters to the finish line. Someone put the medal and another hand me cool mineral waters.

For running or every hectic activity, it’s always good to walk around before sitting down. I tried, but walked for awhile, I’d rather sit down. Boi tahan. At first I sat on the parapet, which is only about 30-40 cm high (hey, I think there is no other fencing!), then decided to sit on the floor because I afraid the fatigue would make me instable and being so close to the edge was not a good idea. The helipad was quite big, it was a very windy day and the sky was gorgeous. But I didn’t have energy for visual enjoyment as much as physical rest.

Of all things that could be painful; legs, hips, I only felt pain in my jaw and got cough attack. So much that I didn’t want to talk anymore although two of my instant friends in same starting row had joined me. Jaw pain, maybe because I unconsciously girthed my teeth? I don’t know.

Anyway, we couldn’t enjoy the time; they started chasing us down because the next contestants from another category would soon reach the top. Two personnel directed me to another stairwell. “Hah???? Stairs again??” My expression must be so horrible that they both laugh out loud. Just 3 storey down, then we could take lift. Say lah. I almost fainted. ;p

Joining back hubby, soon I recovered and we just sat around while watching another categories still making their way up. Lovebird category, most are couple side by side, hand in hand, although sometimes there were girl in front leaving her mate or vise versa. We saw one guy connected with line to his girlfriend/wife. Wah..they really meant business. But it could be dangerous lei..

Anyway, results from other categories were posted on board. It was like University time when everyone gathered around pieces of paper with small prints to look for needle in the hay. I was quite sure that my timing was bad, but pleasantly surprised to see that it’s included in top twenty. Very very happy. Will do it again? I don’t know, yes, no, maybe.

But certainly, I have made hubby swore that he would talk me out if I ever ever entertain the idea to join 42 km marathon just for the sake of doing it at least once in life.

Two months!

2009-11-24T16:20:00.001+08:00

So!!
No upload for almost two months!!

Dang the hectic works, spoil my mood for everything!

But it shouldn't happen again, as I would lost my backup.
Anyway, would try to track back...slowly.... for the lost two months while backing up the current!
Cross fingers!

Real Life Hero

2009-09-30T08:44:00.002+08:00

Real Life Hero

from:
http://news.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Asia/Story/A1Story20090929-170581.html

MANILA, PHILLIPINES: Teenager Muelmar Magallanes braved rampaging floods to save more than 30 people, but ended up sacrificing his life in a last trip to rescue a baby girl who was being swept away on a styrofoam box.
Yesterday, family members and the people saved by the 18-year-old construction worker hailed him as a hero, as his body lay in a coffin at a makeshift evacuation centre near their destroyed Manila riverside village.

'I am going to be forever grateful to Muelmar. He gave his life for my baby. I will never forget his sacrifice,' said Ms Menchie Penalosa, the mother of the six-month-old girl he carried to safety before being swept away himself.
Magallanes was at home last Saturday with his family when tropical storm Ketsana unleashed the heaviest rain in more than 40 years on the Philippine capital and surrounding areas.
At first the family, long used to heavy rain, paid little attention to the storm.
But Magallanes and his father decided to evacuate the family once they realised the river 800m away had burst its banks.

With the help of an older brother, Magallanes tied a string around his waist and attached it one-by-one to his three younger siblings, whom he took to higher ground. Then he came back for his parents.

But Magallanes, a strong swimmer, decided to go back for his neighbours, who where trapped on rooftops.
He ended up making many trips, and eventually saved more than 30 people from drowning, witnesses and survivors said.

Tired and shivering, Magallanes was back on higher ground with his family when he heard Ms Penalosa screaming as she and her baby were being swept away on the polystyrene box they were using in an attempt to cross the swift currents.
He dived back in after the mother and daughter, who were already a few metres away and bobbing precariously among the debris floating on the brown water.
'I didn't know that the current was so strong. In an instant, I was under water. We were going to die,' said Ms Penalosa, her eyes welling with tears and voice choking with emotion.

'Then this man came from nowhere and grabbed us. He took us to where the other neighbours were, and then he was gone,' said Ms Penalosa.
She and other witnesses said an exhausted Magallanes was simply washed away amid the torrent of water.

Neighbours found his body on Sunday, along with those of 28 others who perished in Manila's worst flooding in decades.
Standing next to his coffin, Magallanes' parents paid tribute to their son.
'He always had a good heart,' said his father, Samuel.
'We had already been saved. But he decided to go back one last time for the girl.'
His mother, Maria Luz, wept as she described her son as incredibly brave.
'He saved so many people, but ended up not being able to save himself.'

.

F1!

2009-09-28T17:01:00.001+08:00

There are reasons of why you should and shouldn’t watch F1 live.

Let me start with the bad reasons::

1. The one that top my list is the stinginess of the committee.

Last year first day of the race, there was one tiny open spot for outsiders. The next day, it was covered. Last year, outsiders can ‘peep’ the cars through the black almost solid mesh, but we could see the colors (so sad), this year, everything was opaque. Friday night, we got great spot on the corner, although we had to stand on earth or soft soil. Saturday, it was fenced!

It seems like they were trying to screw up every opportunity for the spectators to get good grip of the race. Sure, They have their own professional photographers, yadda, yadda, yadda…but consider these comparison, I would say there should be not many things to brag from them. They have private accesses, they have undisturbed location with great corners and mesh-free spot, they have their proximity and they have their gigantic lenses. Many of them were even elevated and stationed on the crane. While for the spectator, I can’t help but feel that they do everything to make the experience miserable, if you go for photography. They sealed up good spots. What used to be open overhead bridge last year, first day of the weekend, were sealed completely. Good undesignated spots that you find on Friday, they sealed or fenced it on Saturday. The fences were located are far as meters away and we were barricaded by the meshes or bunch of plastic barriers that stood higher that the podium. Yah, It’s safety, but certain things are forcedly fitted into that excuses, especially the ones they reinforced the next days. Great corners are very limited, either you have to stick there the whole day long or you can forget about occupying good spots. Fair enough. But the available places and facades were way exceed the number of people waiting to get a ‘good glimpse’, I couldn’t help but feel like outsiders who tried to steal a look without buying tickets like last year, and that is crappy!

Things to keep in mind: If you walk, spots are gone. If you late, fat hope of securing even second tier of good places. If you do, be suspicious, it’s either straight track where you can hardly get a glimpse of the cars because they are too fast, let alone capture it in camera. So I would say, screw the committee on this, not to mention restriction of the lens that we can bring in. Nothing bigger than 300mm, so to compare, the lens that the ‘legal photographers have, can swallow maybe three or four of the allowed lens comfortably. On the last day, we saw some people managed to smuggle in big lenses. They were very smart to do it on the last day, if they did on Friday or Saturday, I’m sure at the next days other than ordinary check, they would probably strip search whoever looked suspicious with camera. Anyway, actually, we also don’t have those thigh-sized-price-of-kidney lenses…

That’s the biggest complain that almost ruined my second day of the race. We went day later the day and it was hellish to secure a good sport or even a shot. Luckily our kakis managed to get us spots when there was a break in the track. We still had chances to buy food for each other. On the last day though, no one bulged from the seats. Everyone endured roaring sun and the wait to secure the spot for finals. Hell no, this was the reason we were there and good spot was everything. Who cares about the concerts and shows; the committee threw in a lot of high profile concerts during breaks, but remember, you-shall-not-leave-your-space.

So, the stinginess of the committee! Unbelievable!

2. The crowd.

It’s expectable. You can’t hope for breeze and spacious spaces for big events. But for those who were unwilling to be drown in the crowd.. Don’t come. First day I was asking myself about why on earth do I involved in another situation where I pay to suffer. But it is what it is, I won’t complain. I can’t actually imagine quiet F1, it might not have the ‘feeling’.
But ungraceful crowd is another thing.. It’s understandable that everyone tried to secure good spots, so a little bit squeezing here and there were alright, especially that we understand the frustration. But some were just pushed it too far. First day, I had to tell a guy to stand behind a fence. Yah, he had been not in my favor since beginning. He squeezed next to me without looking left and right, there were quiet a lot of room, but he couldn’t measure that 10 cm brush of backpack could actually disturb people. Then when the practice started, first time I saw the F1 cars, he stepped on the fence, leaned faaaar forward and covered just everything for me and hubby who was standing beside. One lap, two lap, third lap I told him to stopped doing that as all I could see was him. Lucky he complied and was not psychotic murderous type but yeah I was pissed also! Anyway, after a while, he gave up totally since he didn’t arm himself with earplugs and couldn’t bear the sound.

Even if we secured place and didn’t leave, it didn’t guarantee that it stayed the same. People just squeezed when the race started, in front, behind, beside, whatever. Some did it okay some just didn’t care and knocked on the lenses, while we were focusing and holding helplessly with shaky hands. Some squeezed behind, appeared out of nowhere, one was so bloody close that I couldn’t put my leg on my spot where I need to get my shot. Even when I tried to squeeze back, he didn’t bulged. There were a lot of stepping places behind him anyway. So I had to kick ‘accidentally’. He didn’t bulge. Kick twice, thrice. Nothing, or shift a bit but still couldn’t fit. Somehow I settled with very uncomfortable support on my legs for a while until I really pissed off as the guy were getting closer. I had to turned around and kicked the leg repeatedly while looking at his face straight. This is not accidental kick , I want you to move after I tolerate you taking up my space but you pushed it too far! Move! Move! Move! Moveeeeeee! Until he shifted. All I need was a bit of space for my leg where it was! Huh!

The third pissed off was a kid kept knocking on my lens and me while he squeezed in front of me during the final laps. I gave it this time as he was only a kid and he looked so enthusiast, although it’s annoying dangerous as my hand holding lens was weaker and weaker clinging desperately, not to mention that we had to balance ourselves between podium and unstable fence.

I think all my kakis also had fair shares dealing with unpleasant crowd.

3. The facilities

Probably this one is up to the readiness. Bring water, food or whatever necessary to keep you well. Drinks are overpriced, understandable, but they put it in plastic cup. It’s difficult to find place for your butt, yet you have to nurse an open cup that wouldn’t sustain the thirst. It’s plastic cup, we need galooonsss…

Anyway, that is the long 3 reasons why live might not be preferable, not to mention that you can’t watch everything, always miss important incidents but that’s expected on every live shows.

Here is the reason why you should watch it live.

I can’t really put it fair into words, so I just summarize it. It’s live, you should try it at least once in your life while you can. It’s an experience, where you can gather with buddy or friends to enjoy the events, feel the ambience and the excitement.

There are some things we could only get by watching it live. The noise, the smell of the roaring engine, the spirit of the spectators beyond the scratching sun, the waving of the proudly displayed flags of the fans, the actually speed of the cars, the escapade of deadly corners, the flying colors, and to be actually there, witness it directly face to face.. ..... oh ya........... not so., blocked by bloody mesh. : )

Bloodsuckers

2009-09-09T13:17:00.001+08:00

In the news today:

A China woman was drowned when trying to enter Singapore illegally. A speedboat from Malaysia carried two Chinese Nationals, a man and a woman, approached Pulau Ubin at night, the two then were told to alight in the water. They refused because it’s still too far from the land, but they were kicked out. The man managed to swim to the shore, arrested by the Coast Guard, the boat turned around and sped back to Johor, while the woman drown shortly after.

It happens in the world, during war, unease, Depression. Most Chinese that I know including me can say that at one point of their generation, parents, great parents or great great parents found their home now by entering other countries with all means. I personally know a friend who was a boat people himself, from Vietnam he landed in Australia. He had become a part of high class society now, which is probably, the motivation and the dreams of immigrants.

These cases don’t belong to the past. Not anymore, not always. There are still, many, people trying to enter countries they perceive can provide a better life for them. Some pay money, some pay even with their life, just like the case above. How ironic and tragic.
And worse, behind all those, there are bloodsuckers who don’t hesitate to live off from other people’s blood, sweat and tears.

They act as employment or immigrant agency and require those who are willing to pay big sum of money to get them into Singapore. Legal or illegal, some pay as much as S$3000 like the China woman, some pay S$10000 to secure a job with two years contract that might earn them less that what they fork out at the end of two years. The difference between both, one is motorized by bloodsuckers; the other is by legal bloodsuckers.

A person whom I know, works 13 hours a day 7 days a week with one day off per month, and to retrieve that day off is sort of miracle, because she often called back to work. Her contract expires soon and she says there is almost no hope she could get renewal unless she pays again. She paid S$9000 for the two years contract and earns much less that ten percent of it monthly. She needs to eat, pay rent, bills and sends money to family she left behind. I tried to help her find another job, but it seems like impossible task because everything requires either citizenship, work permit or education.

Why employee never renew her contract? I will stand corrected if someone cares to prove me wrong, because it’s easier for them to look for new people who are willing to take over the job, and they also might get big fat commission from another agent that supply the workers, using the money paid by the people they mistreats everyday, which for all we know, earned from years of hardworks and savings or family heir to pursue a dreams.

Not so long ago, in this same year, in other part of the world there are cases of people trafficking through meat chiller. Men, women, children are cramped together in inhuman temperature inside. And others. And others.

This case is just another tragic case. Soon it’ll be filed into the report, and collects dust and adds yet another statistic.
But the bloodsuckers are lurking around still, with their charismatic smiles.

Retired!

2009-08-27T10:03:00.004+08:00

One of my colleagues is in the brink of retirement next month. He is sixty plus, one of lunch companions. He holds second highest position in the office, yet he is down to earth. Every lunch time he will share his stories of life, he likes jokes and always fascinated with email forwards. Yah, we receive any kind even the crappiest type of forwards from him through office emails. So he is more to fun kind, the most optimistic person on earth that I’ve known probably.
He looks forward to his retirement as he plans to make numerous trips or just enjoy his spare time. All that me and my colleagues can do is to count how many thousand years left before our retirement age..

By right, yah, by right, human life should be defined in few stages:

First stage is when you are born and young, everyone loves you, everyone take care of you. You spend time playing ,crying, and do whatever you want. School is play, play is school. Anyone who share the same interest, do the same activities, dress the same, or just being with there with me are friends. We cry when we sad, we laugh when we are happy; we play when we are bored. We kick tantrum when we are angry.

Then goes the stage of realization that life is either more beautiful or shitty. You start to change, physically, mentally, emotionally. Suddenly friends can stab back or become enemy, suddenly hormone kicks, the other gender is not just annoying dirty kids playing and mocking on you. Suddenly you discover feelings, more feelings, discover certain things you like to do more or less. Discover the idea of what you might want to be. By right, with enough support and motivation, you go through phase of learning to be a responsible adult, learning what is right and wrong, learning the complexity of human being.

Embark into adulthood, we have to become a person who provide and support us in earlier phase in our lives. Stand on our own feet, carry others and help them going through everyday lives just like how they help you as parents, probably carry offspring and protect them the way we were protected when we were young. Things are not the same. We discover more about passion, spirit, life motivations, the beauty, the ugly, and learn to be super strong, because we need all the energy. Things are getting ore complex than ever. Sometime we have to laugh when we are sad, sometimes we have to hide the deepest feeling, smile when we are angry, or cry when we are happy and be strong when you are dying inside. Some things are inexpressible and some things are unbearable. But there we are at the strongest point in our life, I can’t say It’s the most challenging because at every point in our life, everything seems challenging depends on where we are. But this phase of life is definitely the one with the most things to do, where you are detaching and attaching, where we learn the hardest effort to stand on our own.

And then next step is when we are in the old age. Saggy skin, deteriorated health, when we no longer have all the power to do anything that we want because our bodies take turn to command us. This is supposed to be the age while what we need to do is to enjoy and relax, harvest the fruit of hard works, having all the philosophy and precious life experiences. This is what is ideal, just like what my colleagues is doing now. He has bunch of friends, activities and purposes in life that await him.

But, how rare is ideal world, even in prosperous country like here. We see elderly on the street, collecting cardboard and aluminum cans to support their life. They barely can stand straight, and their knuckle is swollen and beaten from the joint pain. People at my age have yet endure the dramatic body discomfort, but from occasionally back and joint pains I can really tell how uncomfortable and agonizing it is to work hard in that condition.

A lot of these elderly bear sad stories. Many of them sacrifice their good life to provide for their children, but yet they are abandoned where they are no longer capable and when it’s time for the kids to take care of the parents. I just read one heartbreaking story few weeks ago. An elderly couple give their son the house as the present for his marriage, the house they have live in all their life. When the ownership changes, the son sold away the house and bought private property without accommodating the parents. They have to stay with their daughter only to find out one day that she changed all the locks in order to keep them away. Now they are homeless and living on the staircase somewhere.

Good parents are angel. How can it happen..?

I guess life will never be fair.

If there is one species that nobody can really count on, is human.

I’m just feeling happy that my friend is the lucky one. Survivor of heart attack and cancer, he is standing strong to enjoy the fruitation of his hard work.

Let’s hope each of everyone is that lucky!

BACK OFF...!

2009-08-26T00:54:00.005+08:00

For years, I have faced the annoying rhythm of relatives and friends who question me or whoever victims they can find about having kids or getting married. Yah, here we go again! I wonder too!

I do appreciate those who come with genuine concerns, but for those who do it for the sake of conversation, hmm, tell you what,… it’s damn boring and annoying.

There are thousands and one conversation starters, and if you don’t have one, keep quiet. Shut up. Hide. Get lost. Both parties will appreciate it.

Okay, maybe I have complained about this way too much in my stories, because lately I have another attack, which made me kind of pissed in another level. I hardly have extreme attacks, while some of my friends who chose not to have kids yet have face accusation of being infertile. Some who are unmarried has been thought as gay, some who chose different way of making a living have been called nuts. Compare to my story, I think they had it worse although I rate mine very offensive as well.

Imagine this; I attend a wedding of a good friend. Starting of as hubby’s good friend, so I didn’t know any of his family members, except very short introductory accidental meetings long long time ago. Wedding is not my favorite occasion, beside needing to dress up, I think, sorry, wedding is the place full of insincere exchange of talks because of ‘long time no see’ ‘Hey you’ type of conversations, although it’s a good place to meet long lost relatives or friends.

I usually prepare for the ‘attack’ in my family’s wedding, although most people know that I would not hesitate to ignore anyone whom I deem fit to be ignored. Anyway, out of nowhere, I got the pressure of the whole family of the groom, pestering me to have babies soon in I’d say, in very very uncomfortable way. Let’s not go into details.

What the – Who are -.. Who the – What right do you—

Honestly, I was pissed to my core, I still am. I think I should just sit back and see that this is what society is and why this and similar things keep happening.

What is up with getting married, have kids, get this job, that job, do this, do that, because it’s ‘right’?

They might have done it, find it wonderful, living in beautiful castle and trying to spread the magic. I understand that. They have their point of view, fair enough.

However, one thing they forget, I’m not them. They are not me. Just because what they perceived is right for them, just because ‘been there done that’ doesn’t make me have their eyes or wear their shoes.

I don’t know how many times I have the temptation to be rude and question them seriously. Really. But then again, something would never change. I always avoid debating with people whom I think would not understand something different, once the earth is flat, is flat. No point wasting time and breath. It will frustrate me and hurt others, if my mood is right; I’m capable of saying the worst thing to anyone. And I have been working on it my whole life to prevent it from happening unnecessarily.

So what I do I normally just brush it away, or just give freaking standard answer. I hardly chose the later because it seems like it works as the fuel to go on and on.

If I can force them to sit and probably gag them not to speak, I want to ask How well do you know me? Do you know me? Know my name, my job, be my friends don’t necessary put anyone in position to say that they know me.

Do you know exactly what I think about this/that thing you are talking about? Do you know my passions, my fears, my anticipations, my principles, the way I lead my life, my struggling, my temptations, my feelings, my heart, my mind, my brain, my aspirations, my way of looking at creating a human being, my way of looking at blooming flower, starving kids, animal on the street, wrinkles on faces?

Why is it you need to know me that well? Because you are trying to shove the important part of life into my throat just like that! Now you regret making ‘small’ talk?

How on earth you decide or suggest what is best for me based on something you pick from what is happening on daily basis and shove it to my face and being judgmental about it?

I don’t shove my principles to you. I don’t care how you live your life. I wish you happiness, depends on how happiness means to you. I accept you for being different person or having different thinking.

Don’t make rules, just because that’s what most people do, doesn’t make it rule. Don’t be judgmental, you don’t know what I face or what I think.

I appreciate what you think is right. Now, can you appreciate my thought? Even if I don’t tell you? How hard it is not to put your hands and words inside people life, just for the sake of passing by, is it the impression you want me to remember you?

If not, BACK OFF.

Good Saturday

2009-08-24T09:38:00.002+08:00

Early morning on Saturday I went kite flying with my colleague. She was with me for about an hour, before she had to join her programmed weekly exercise on the same place, West Coast Park. I welcome invitations to spend my weekends outdoor, and I love to try new fun things.

I’ve never fly kite before. I remember during childhood, it was not my activity as well. I wanted to join my brother when he played with the neighbor, but we only had one lousy and I think borrowed kite, so I had to succumb to my gender.
Anyway, it was not easy to fly kite, especially the wind only came occasionally. In fact, I couldn’t let it up! Although as confidence recovery, my friend couldn’t fly up mine also, something was not right with the kite. To add into the technical problem faults, none of few person who played kite that day managed to get it up, except my friend. Her kite was flying; she passed it to me when she had to go.

Original plan was for me to take it down, went home or go shoe shopping, then met her up again with another friend for trekking in Bukit Timah around midday. But I decided to stay for awhile since the kite was flying happily and I enjoyed the place.

Well, it’s not a fantastic park; it’s the first time I went there because it’s not so convenient for those without private vehicle. The park is located at the coast, seaside but it’s not the horizon and beautiful sea we can see. It’s those ships and cargo from the distance. From the place I stood, which is a distance away, it looked better than Sembawang beach near my area.

While I don’t rate it high, it’s quite a nice place to compliment and as gateaway from the city. It has big patches of green grass field, playground, exercise machines to play, and paths for jogging. Families came with kids, singletons and duotones came with their dogs or for jogging. The majority of all are youngsters who came in big group to practice Frisbee and baseball. Yah, Frisbee! I didn’t know it’s a popular team sport. Although I was kind of squeezed in the center of all, I still had my patch and my peace.

I let the kite flying higher and higher until the end of the string. It’s quite steady at times, occasionally went havoc a bit, there was one time it shot back down very fast but then I managed to keep it up again. It was not windy on the ground, but on top, I swear I could almost see how happy the kite was, smiling, flying and fighting the wind with all its might. The string would disappear to the blue and made a curve to where the kite was. What can make it perfect? There should be a dog and a book to accompany me. Hubby has his own hobby; we share common interests but also give each other time to pursue our own. While his can be done in Singapore, I would have to rely on overseas trip. But I have the time alone to do other things myself or with friends.

Time flies, and suddenly my friend had already finished with her program. She was laughing at me and surprise that I was still there. Halfway through I decided to just spend my morning there, I would need to rely on my Croc to trek because I felt lazy going shopping or back home and went out again, the sissy shoe was actually not bad for trekking, as proven now and then. Although I really had to get one serious trekking shoes again for real destinations.

Indeed, there was not much time left. Leaving the park by bus, my other friend had already waited us up at the meeting point before proceeding to Bukit Timah. Three of us then climb up though the tarmac road before switching to the real tracks.

Bukit Timah track is considered easy. The vegetation is quite open and there are steps and boardwalk with very little natural tracks. The forest looks a bit dry, not misty with green patches and varieties like what we can find in others. I prefer natural track than man-made steps, but this is the closest we can get to trekking in Singapore, located at its highest peak.

Nevertheless, we spent two hours and it was a great exercise. Good Saturdays for me are spent outdoor, and I’m grateful I had my companions. : )

UP.... in another meaning

2009-08-11T16:34:00.012+08:00

Warning: Contain spoiler for ‘UP’ movie.

I never thought that this animation (that didn’t attract me at first) would be so inspiring.
Not the main story line, but it tells about something that is too late to be done.

The couple had long live dream they build since childhood, to visit a beautiful place called Paradise Fall. They dreamt to make it there or even to build a house there. Since they led simple life where it’s a struggle to make ends meet, they couldn’t really afford to go. A money bin as fund was set up and filled with spare money, titled Paradise Fall. Everyday, everytime, they would try to fill it up with whatever spare they have. However, life didn’t go smoothly, there were always obstacles and incidents that made them use the money for something else. Until they both grew older and older.

One day the husband opened his wife’s diary again. The diary she made for the adventures she was about to do and would do when she was a child. It was a diary that she showed him on the first day they met, with Paradise Fall on the first page, the obsession she shared with the husband, followed by empty pages for the other things she would do. The husband looked at the diary with mixed emotion, remembering the good time they shared, and crushed with heart broken when he saw how weak and old his wife was. He collected all his precious last wealth and went to buy tickets for their dream journey. However, the health of his wife deteriorated and soon she was bed-ridden. When she passed away, all her husband could think of was how they never made it, how they never made their dreams come true.

The whole sub story above was compacted into few minutes of silent animation, but it was very touching, I swear the whole theatre had never been that quiet, especially when it’s full of children. But it was. And I believe it was quietly well received because people can relate to it.

Just around one-two months ago, I made a “soft pact” to myself that I want to dig up my old hobbies.. I was never a person who regret the way I live my life, in fact, I’m happy with it and for everything I did and I’m not sure if I walked back, I would do it differently. However, there are some moments when I thought and wrote about the things I should have done when I was younger, coulda shoulda woulda.

Now, why should I look back and count things I should do? I can’t change the past, nobody could. What I should do is prevent my future me to look back at the time now and question what I don’t do this and that while I can.

As reality really is, obstacles are always around. I’ve done and seen how many people put back their dreams or doing what they want to do because of something else, money, time, family and fill the list of “ If I ….. , I would…… ” Sadly, most of the lists would never come true.

How many times we can have a chance to fix it? Like in Up, there is no such thing as blowing enough balloon to fly your house. I can imagine how nice it would be, although for me I might need all supply of travel sickness pills I can get without being arrested as drug dealer. Or in Bucket List, a movie starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, where they got chances to do what they wanted and never did in their lives before they met each other, in the brink of deaths.

It’s in the movie, it can be arranged, but not in ordinary lives that we are in, very unlikely I think.

I’ve seen this kind of regrets happening around. Just when attending funeral or someone passed away. It’s not rare to hear that “It’s such a pity for him/her to go so quickly. He planned to do this/that.. and now it’s too late.”

It’s real that we always have obstacles. As ordinary human being (not some filthy rich people ;p), our main problem is to live and survive, earn enough to spin the living wheel. We are tied with 7/12/14/21 days annual leave subject to approval and money subject to live expenses. There are always something more important to do, there is always something more ‘morally correct’ to do. Beside that, sometimes the obstacles come in something you can’t control.

When a friend of mine was diagnosed with Lupus, the scary incurable disease when instead of protecting, the body immune system attacks. He used to be a very sporty and active person, he was a commercial pilot and he was on top of his life. Look, career, financially well. He lost everything. He lost his license to fly, therefore his career and job, he has to rely on medication, he can’t do everything he likes to do, he can’t even exercise.

Another person got hypertension that cause him some rupture in blood vessel near the eye. As the result, he has to give up scuba diving and anything that can put pressure to the eye.
Or another friend I know who had injury on her spine and dismissed from doing anything more than light physical activities.

Imagine the scary life turner experience, or suddenly the options are no longer there. What we delay and put aside might never be retrieved back. Apparently tomorrow is not always there.

Living here, I’m sort of stuck in cold modern life when I had my lifestyle changes. From a very active outdoor person, I’m limited with the new life and work environment that sorts of confining me. Over the years, I picked up new hobbies like scuba diving, but the limitation of time and money is very significant to this sport, even if that is the only luxury item in my life. And there are oh so many things that can stop me from doing this one day. I’m glad that we are still going strong, along the way, we found other things to do in our dull weekend here and picked up photography, something rhyme with it. Photography kind of connects me back to scuba, outdoor and passion of traveling.

Traveling leads me to the past. I have just found friend here who shares the same passion of mountaineering. We did some trekking in a trip together and I realized how much I miss the world up there. Sea distracts and captives me, but I still have soft spot to go up and love the smell of the forest. Mountaineering is just the same with scuba-diving or other sports, it’s only can only be done when you are healthy, and mostly associated with being young.

We hatch plan to dig up mountaineering, for that was the past in both our lives. With great companion, it should be a great journey. I'd be very grateful if the plan can comes true. However, soft pact is kind of hatching into hard pact. Even if, unfortunately, I have to do it alone, I want to look back in the future and regret nothing. Cia yooooooo!!!!

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
- Hebbel

Never underestimate the power of passion.
- Eve Sawyer

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Jakartaaaaaaah & Depok

2009-08-05T14:53:00.001+08:00

http://places-aping.blogspot.com/2009/08/jakartaaaaah.html

Cheers,
Ping

My Wish

2009-07-20T17:19:00.004+08:00

Met with my longest best friend and traveling through memory lane around my uni, went back to airport on the last day, gave me deep deep impression.

The people I met,
the people who touched my life,
the places I visited,
the places that keep memories,
precious loved one, my family,
the road I went through,
the bitter and sweet and every little things…

They say remember life in beautiful way, remember the laughter, the good memories, the love, yah, it is,

but how can I escape from the pain of leaving everything and everyone I love behind everytime?

Sixteen years ago, when I visited one nice place in Sukabumi, I promised myself, one day, somehow, some where, I will go back to every places that I’ve been. It sounds simple that time, but now I realize, it’s not possible. To add to it, it is not the same, it’ll never be the same.
The place, the people I go with, and myself.
So, the concept of repeating good memories is simply not existent.
For all we can do is to add new ones and cherish the great ones in the past.

Looking at my parents, my brother, my niece and nephew waving at the front door, I thought of how time flies, how amazing that we can get stronger bounds, but I can’t escape the pain from thinking about their safety, their welfare, how my parents are aging, and how they always try to be there for us, for every little occasions and every little celebrations and sorrows that the children have, is there a possible way to repay them?

So, yeah, as much as I don’t want to be, as many advices against, I can’t help but feeling that every beat of happiness is every beat of pain and worries that I can’t escape.

I have great life partner, I found great friends here in my new work place, and from them I learned a lot of things, directly or indirectly. I had never met anyone like them before, who can understand and connect so well and even though they might not realize, they teach me many things about life.

I used to think how devastating it would be for me if my loved ones are being taken away from me, my hope used to be that I’m the one who leave, who gone, so that I don’t feel the pain of losing,

but I learn, from them

that their worries are to leave their love ones behind, to create grieves and sorrows and not be there for them,
it’s so different, so unselfish especially from the colleague who is younger than me.

So, I guess I’m so lucky to be surrounded by people whom I can learn and be more mature overtime…
and I wish I can inspire others in the same way.

Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
- Kevin Arnold quotes

Life is just a chance to grow a soul.
- A. Powell Davies

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Heart

2009-07-01T23:44:00.001+08:00

Human heart is the most fragile part of the whole body.

The only part that can be virtually ache when it’s physically not.
The only part that can be broken, healed, broken, healed virtually but it keeps the scars in every beats.

It can drives one crazy, mind over body, feeling over mind, emotion over mind.

Like what a song says, why there are so many broken hearts in the world?

There were and still heartache and hopeless friends with weeping heart at the end of table, phone or fingertips. There are still unsure words about how to patch the virtually aches.

Who says life is simpler when one is a child, teenagers or adults? Who say one can judge another is doing right or wrong? How much you can do when your heart control your mind, how far is the term “follow your heart” really stand?

Lost loved ones.
Fell in love.
Broken hearted.
Jealousy.
Letting go.
Someone you can’t be with.
Feelings you can't contain.
Feelings you can't fight.
Feelings you can’t express.

It’s never easy.
It’s always fragile.
No one is spared.

Kuching (25-28 June 2009)

2009-07-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

Kuching Journal!!!!!

http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Cheers,
Ping

Si Tukang Colek

2009-06-22T16:07:00.003+08:00

Ad satu jenis kategori makhluk yang ampe sekarang gua belom terbiasa, sebenarnya dua, tapi biasanya orangnya sama. The Toucher and the Mr/Mrs Too Close. Udah lama gua mengenali ciri orang ini, terkadang mereka muncul dari sejak jama dahulu kala, terkadang mereka baru nongol setelah kenal lebih dekat.

The toucher itu jenis orang yang suka sekali memegang-megang. Bukan megang apa-apan yang gak sopan, ya kalo megang yang gak sopan mungkin ada alas an buat ditendang, digaplok, dikurung, beres kali. Tapi Toucher atau Si Tukang Colek ini yang suka nyentuh2, kilik2, colek2, segala jenis yang nyebelin! Paling gak tahan kalo ngobrol2 ditoel2 atau tau2 ditoel, arghhhh!! Ngapaen seeeh!?? Grrr…! Pokoknya gua gak ngerti apa perlunya dan gua sebal kalo harus berhadapan dengan orang demikian, terutama bila terjebak di keadaan yang gak memungkinkan gue untuk kabur, seperti dikelas, di meeting, makan..

Gue juga suka kaget kalo orang ngomong dengan jarak super dekat, yang tau2 mukanya langsung ditempelin deket ke muka elo. Wtf.. kalo budeg sih mungkin, tapi tetap aja..yang lebih serem yang nyodorin mukanya dari jauh dengan gerakan cepat. Pas ngajak ngobrol orang begini, rasanya seperti kejatuhan meteor, kalo belom tau. Gua pernah lagi duduk, ada rekan kerja nanyain soal computer. Gua jawab, ternyata gak jelas, jadinya tulang punggungnya seakan-akan tiba-tiba rusak, mukanya ke-katalput sampai tinggal beberapa inci dari muka gua dan nanyain lagi. Whoaaa!! Ibu-ibu sinting. Setidaknya kao udah tau gue bisa ancang2, begitu ngeliat tulang punggung udah mulai lentur, gua langsung ber paling ke arah laen atau merem. Yang lebih gak bisa ditebak adalah yang langsung duduk disebelah dan nyengir kuda tanpa disadari., giliran nengok..whoaaa, kutu kumpret! Trus pas ngejelasin sesuatu atau kerjaan, orang kudu skoliosis (p.s tulang punggung melenggak lenggok) karena pada dasarnya tuh orang bener2 udah ambil space pribadi. Ironinya, mereka itu jago ‘menjaga jarak’, jadi kalo loe menjauh, mereka bisa konsisten., jarak 30 senti itu 30 senti, segimanapun punggung loe udah rasanya mau putus karena berbelok ke kiri. Ugh..jelas kan maksud gua?

Entah kenapa, sepertinya temen2yang akhirnya menjadi teman beneran mayoritas bukan Pencolek atau Peng-terlalu dekat. Mungkin karena gua cenderung menghindari mereka, mungkin karena urat syaraf gue pendek dan bête banget kalo dicolek-colek. Ada juga teman dekat tapi Pencolek, akhirnya gue repot-repot ngasih tau. Gak gampang lho, ngasih tau sesuatu yang berupa kritikan. Berjuta-juta jiwa tidak suka menerima kritikan. Teman gua menerimanya dengan baik dan mengerti, untuk sehari. Besoknya dia mulai mulai lagi.

Yah, kalau mau adilnya sih, gua gak bisa nyalahin kebiasaan orang, siapa tau orang ogah temenan sama gua gara-gara gue gak pernah nyolek, hehehe… tapi sebagai pembelaan diri, liat-liat dong kalo nyolek orang yang gak suka dicolek! Nyebelin tau..apalagi kalo cowok. Pengen jotos rasanya kalo udah intensity tinggi. Mungkin ini sama aja dengan orang2 yang gak suka ciri tertentu di orang laen..mungkin ada yang suka teman tukang kentut, tukang cabut2 bulu atau apapun juga…

Masalah pencolekan bukan satu2nya yang bikin gua jarang punya teman dekat pencolek. Sepertinya personalitinya berbeda atau mungkin memang tidak ada jodoh berteman. Gua juga punya teman pencolek dan tabah yang sudah mengenal dan siap gua kepret tiap kali dia lupa. Itu buat teman. Buat stranger yang baru kenal, akan ada ‘jarak aman’. Lagian ngapain sih nyolek2??? Emangnya kita sabun??

Aquarama & Admiralty Park

2009-06-07T20:54:00.009+08:00

This is it. The dread-est time of the year. It’s the peak of summer, June and July, where the winds stop blowing, no public off day, and no holiday seasons. These are the two months I dislike the most in a year.

It gets very hot and humid, when you reach the outdoor, it’s like entering a tunnel of warm air. Sometimes the rain helps; it doesn’t happen often enough, but this morning, it looks good. The sky is grey and the wind is there. Way to start a day, sleepy, but it beats hot air.
Except during holiday on the beach, I prefer cooler weather. I also like rainy weather when I’m in town, doing everyday thing although cloudy and windy is the best for city life. My favorite weather could be autumn, it must be nice to walk in the forest with all the orange leaves and cool wind.

Except for beach holiday, I admit I need summer for our photo taking hobby. It’s hot, humid, tiring, exhausting but we can’t do any outdoor photography when it’s raining!

So last Sunday we and our newly found photography kakis were going to the park nearby my house for macro photo shoot. There are seven of us now, the other three couldn’t go. The weather was harsh, we started melting even from home. It was one of the sunniest days and when we reached the park, it was at 11.30, mid of the day. Yah, we should have started earlier.
I was quite skeptical with the park, but apparently we could find a lot of macro stuff, I mean insects to shoot. So many that we already started shooting by the time we entered. For sunny area, we had to bear the heat and ended up all taned, it was a very significant tan for half a day work. We found area under the shade but it was full of mosquitoes. I don’t know what I prefer, shade under crazy sun or mosquito bites .. I think I enjoy shooting without mosquitos bites and the itch more. Except various insects, we saw birds and monkeys.

Two day before, Friday, I went to Aquarama (aquarium and pets) exhibition with my colleague. This is the first time I try my new camera for underwater subjects.

Sometimes my colleagues like to tease me about how easy it is to see marine life in aquarium without the hassle of going to the wild. Well, yes in aquarium I can see many type of marine lives I might have to spend days and trips just to catch them in the wild, like mandarin fish, harlequin shrimp. Or go to the deep in very specific location only to find purple fire goby. It sounds good but I wish I am not separated with them by the glass tank, I wish I don’t need to bend down to take the picture, bear the weight of the camera and feel the lack of water surround me and it’s so much fun to see how they ignore me in the wild instead of begging me for food. Can’t believe how much I miss going down the water again!

I’m still shaky, but uh-oh…after holding this camera, I don’t know how long I can sustain without sacrificing my money for the underwater casing. Oh.

Kindness and Regulation Freaks

2009-06-02T09:43:00.005+08:00

Singapore is launching Social Kindness Movement Campaign. it tries to teach people to be gracious and kind towards others. Kindness Campaign, teaching kindness. As weird as it sounds, kindness might not be as obvious to modern society that has strong individualism.

Singapore might be one of the safests, but it’s also cold society. Small gestures and graciousness are sometimes received as alien code of communication, with inability to reply or appreciate. If you dip into cold pool, you’ll feel the cold and your body start to adjust, that’s what happen for many of us who have been staying too long here. We might not lose it, but there are so many situations that refrain us from practicing it. It’s second skin that we try to shake off but sometimes it sticks. Phew, seems like I’m all for metaphor this morning!

So, is it worthwhile to teach kindness? Well, I’m not sure whether it can be ‘taught’, but for what I know, little kindness and good gestures do make your day and make you fell good.

Kindness is not exactly the same with gentlemaness , it’s not even a word!!! But it's not that different. Beside kindness, Singapore seriously lack of gentlemanless. I can’t speak for other countries, again, I might be here too long to know.

To relate to gentlemaness, women are demanding and selfish creature. I don’t deny that. Not that I want to speak for all women, but we are like that at certain level. ‘Certain level’ is different for everyone.
One of the solid example about why I said that is the fact that women always demand equity in gender, but they also prefer the Adam counterpart to treat them better because they are, eh, we are women.

In fact, we like gentlemen. Who doesn’t? Even guy likes gentlemen. A sort of person who treat other people with dignity and respect, esp women. In our dictionary, it’s like the sort of person who respect and protective to their female companions.
Well, it feels nice when a guy is being attentive, for example, like even during a simple meal. Small things like pulling the seat, pouring the tea or taking far far away dishes for you are very nice gestures. It can be a rarity with modern society where equity of gender is more prominent than ever. That makes it more precious.
Supportng that, women hate ungentlemen bastards the most. Well, harshly put, it doesn’t mean someone who don’t do the gentlemen things, which make up the most of society, but more for someone who does the opposite. It’s totally fine nowadays that getlemanlism is dying or given exclusive to people with better appearance, but we hate it the most when a guy breaks every rules. Cutting the queue, fighting seat in public train with elderly, pregnant woman or woman in general, brushing and pushing people aside to get to their destination are taken more seriously if the offenders are men. Female offenders, we could just frown upon them ‘seen that’ attitude, but for male offender, the reaction is mostly ‘such a bastard’.

I would personally say that gender equity can never work in every things. Male and female are different gender, perceived in different way, that are many things that don’t work in female favor, and vice versa. Life is unfairly fair. This is just one of them.

That is why it’s such a pleasant experience that I have an impressive neighbor kid, well, not really neighbor, the kid lives in the same block. Certain time of the morning, I would see the same people in the elevator. And this kid would go out of the lift, presses the button and patiently waits for all passengers to alight. I though he did it because there was a mother pushing a pram, it took time for her to get out, but apparently he does it for everyone, whoever sharing a lift or even me alone. I think it’s a very nice gesture that has become quite a rarity here, too bad not half of the people bother to say thank you.

Well, it’s never too early or too late to adapt such a behavior, that honestly, make everyday life feels better. I can collect vividly how a friend of mine was cursing for half a day before a man let the door close on her face while she was carrying bulky thins. And good gesture or ‘gentlemen’ behaviors is not exclusive to man, but for woman too. Nothing physical can differentiate the way someone can or can not do good gestures, because it’s so diverse and can be practices in many ways, many situations and opportunities.
So, as cynical as I am, let’s be kind!

P.S: By the time I post this, I’m quite pissed and amazed of what the campaign has become.

Yah, it had raised some awareness, but it also wake up the dead of ‘regulation freaks’. I can almost find in newspaper daily call from public to suggest that government emphasize the rule with punishment or fine for ‘unkindness’, for example, those who don’t give seat to needy. Holly molly, don’t we have enough regulation?! What’s up when everything is being regulated like that, I’ll take it as “whatever is not punishable, then it’s okay to do society”. Is there a sense of common sense?? Even my dogs knew when they did wrong, they’d give me ‘that’ face, they don’t need regulation to realize.

Can’t understand these people. Huh. ??? Huh.

Anyway, these control freaks don’t recognize people not giving up seat might need it desperately too, that needy might not be visible, pregnancy is not watermelon look on your face. What about women with early pregnancies. What about people who are sick, how to define? Put a stamp in their forehead?
So, my opinion, next campaign.. let’s fine and punish regulation freaks! Geez.

.

It's Over A Year!

2009-05-24T14:14:00.002+08:00

Spending five years in my previous company, I learnt something that changes me big deal. Already a skeptical person, I went down to the point where I could never be comfortable to feel attached to something (lucky I married before that ;p).
So my first few months in my current job, onto a year, I couldn’t really express how I feel with my current job. I got too cautious; I got too ready to move on and hanging on my saddle in case I need to topple my horse away. I’ve become super critical, a very different person I was, I give great effort but I detach my personal emotions, I wasn’t sure.

Well. I must say, two things have restored me since then. However, being 30+ is not the same with being 20+, look at how a fresh grad face the working world with all the ambition and dream, look at how a 30+ learn about realities. I never change, but I would never be the same. Hmmmm….cheeeeeem….

There is nothing in my dream that I would find unlikely friends I found with my current colleagues. I was always lucky to meet good colleagues, but the ones I got here are fascinating.
Me and my two immediate colleagues, we have quite an age gaps, early thirties (wave!), late twenties and early forties, with status of married, single and married with children. At a glance, we have almost nothing in common. However, come to know them well, which take a very short time, we have a loooot in common, we have good chemistry and click very well.

Who can imagine us squatting in between cubicle and cheering up the mechanical toys (for racing purpose), or we climbing up and down the cupboard to put up decorations for events? When we won the decoration competition, and had cash for afternoon ice cream break, we tried to find another way to win cash, as the ice creams are sweet.  So we arrange for running competitions with some fun task (short of amazing race concept) and we drag our boss along. He is a good sport and we actually the fastest, although we were not in first place because we lost in some tasks. It is also the coincidence that we speak the same dialect, the one that I only use at home with my family. Lately we found the new love of drawing some rubbish comics, that we passed one another to make a complete, well, messy story line.

They are people that I’m comfortable to be around with, who motivate me to come to work, and we are planning a trip together, four of us, in coming month. This is kind of unusual for me, but I’m looking forward to it. The amazing thing is, we were very spontaneous that it’s probably the quickest decision I made for planning a trip beside with hubby.

I also found that there are a lot of people sharing the same passion with me here. In the past, I was probably a weirdo in other people’s eyes. There is no one that I can talk about my passion of diving or other extreme sports. People would ask me to stay away from them, far far away if I ask them whether they are interested in doing some whatever..underwater hockey, skydive? Or go-kart, or sailing or rock climbing? Hell no. Leave me alone…But here, it’s just like common activities to many , divers, sportman, and so and so. I’m not saying that I dislike mingle with people who don’t share the same passion, but there are reason why people join organizations like sport and hobby, because it’s nice to be around those who share the same interest too. Even though no one else is active divers in my department, I can talk about fishes, names everything because animals are our interests. We also share running as past or present interest, hence the fun competition.

I was doubtful that I could run as fast as I did, but I think I did very well even though I had back and butt pain for the next three days, but it was nice to break the wind again, to run and remember when I was young (insert melancholic music here).
We also have pet fish together, we used to have tadpole tank, and it actually turned into froglet, although too bad, they mysteriously disappeared, I can’t explain that. But I’ll always remember that three of us scanning ponds to get the water plant, or searching quest to find volcanic rock for the aquarium.

Other reason I like it here are the smiles of the strangers. I probably came from alien world before, the last batch of people that I knew from my previous office, who were just merged with us, they hardly smile, they don’t even meet your eyes when you try to smile. Humph..only when they need help, they put in super sweet saccharine toxic smile,. I thought I was in crazy world, it doesn’t make sense to me. It’s either you are friendly, full stop. Or you don’t like to smile, full stop. I’m fine with both. Really. But if you only smile and suddenly so happy to see me because you need my help, it’s disgusting. Utterly disgusting.

So here, everyone smiles to everyone. Regardless you know them or not. Since we have very big number of colleagues and staffs all around, I probably haven’t even known 10% from all, yet, we always exchange smiles on greeting on the road etc etc,. I found it really nice. It doesn’t kill to say good morning, It makes the sun shine brighter , in metaphore of course, because this month is soooo hot that I wish the sun comes out less..

I also like the environment, every time I got bored; I just walk to natural setting or do a little photographic hunt in the weekends, take a walk with my colleagues, go to work or just to loosen the feet. I got to experience amazing thing that I’ve never imagine before. A bit spoiler here, but I was that surprise when I need to with elephant related work, the keeper actually brought the elephant for me, all I need to know is the height of them. Huhahahha, I can ‘t forget the look at the elephant face.

The environment, ah yes, definitely, even though is not jungleish, it’s natural setting. There is also one of the parks I can roam during midday with no one else to disturb me.

I know I’m still skeptical, but I’ve passed my first year anniversary here and I think I’ll write this to remember that I love being here now. I hope it stays that way, I really do.

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
-Anonymous

RIP my fish..

2009-05-18T11:00:00.002+08:00

Coming to work today, I found that our fighting fish had died. Sniff…
It had been quite sick in the past, but recovered very well until last week, the condition went down again. This morning I found it sinking at the bottom.

Yes, it’s just a fish. But it’s my fish, our fish, me and my colleagues take care together. This fish always happy to see me every morning when I turned on the light. It would swim up and down, left to right and look right at me. Whenever I slide my chair near the tank, she would recognize me and come happily waving her tail.

I guess.. all fish go to heaven too..

.

Mini Aspire One

2009-05-05T10:18:00.004+08:00

I want to dedicate this post for my notebook. This is my very first personal computer that is not inherited, borrowed or shared with other people.

The purchase was made because we are sick to keep changing our external hard disks, those hard disk with card readers we bring on trips to transfer and store pictures for backup or when memory cards are full. They are unreliable, break easily and on many occasions, the pictures stored inside can’t be open or damaged. In my new, not so new anymore, job, I also happen to have 25 minutes bus ride each morning and evening and I can’t read in the bus. If I don’t do anything, I would fall asleep and got giddy afterwards. Anyway, I also hardly have time to write anymore in my work, so my journal and blogs are being neglected. So except for data storing, I need this for my bus ride that come in handy to write anything. It had performed much better and hardy than I expected, it also cost much less than high-end handphone. The minor inconvenience, it doesn’t have cd-rom, hence the size.

I’m impressed because in the past, I almost always had bad records with computers. Somehow, machines always work up on me, well, I’m not the most patient person to start with, and I hate it the most when machines start to give me troubles, it irritates me to the point that I would curse and throw fists to the air or beat-up something that can’t fight back, like chair or table. Coward you say, but if I beat up something that can fight back I would have add another thing to piss me off!

Month of February, March and April, I was extremely busy with computer. I need to get my Final project done, get it over and done with. It has been more that half a year since I suppose to start. I gave myself deadline to finish it before my diving trip in March. But again, you must know, I also gave myself deadline to finish it before my September, then October, then December trip but nothing was done.

So again, this time I got the deadline I’m not really sure I want to honour. However, just a mere two weeks before the trip, I lightly talked about it and ended up with my two colleagues, placing up a bet that I wouldn’t be able to finish. So, for motivation, I work day and night hahaha..and even though I missed out quite a lot of thing, which I didn’t bother to add in anymore because I’m sick of it..I managed to hand in the project few days earlier than my deadline.

To connect it to the story, what happened was, my computer at home, inherited from hubby, died even before I started. It was one of my excuses for delayed project. We changed the hard disk, it was up and running, but few days after, it crashed again.
To add salt to the wound, my office computer also crashed, I couldn’t rely on anything but the notebook. Setback that, it was so tiny that it’ss not comfortable for working long hour with words and researches. Luckily, I could just plug in the desktop monitor, put in mouse to replace the touchpad, network cable or using wireless and speaker in home or office and it’s ready for long battles. Didn't have chance to do in office thought, except for final read-through..

Beside heavy researches and programs, It also handle my month long photo editing with big files. Amazingly, it didn’t give me any kind of trouble, which is very unlikely as long as I dealt with machine.

So, dedicate this post to my mini Aspire One….exactly almost one year age…you survive me. 
No many do.. ;p

Natural Tanninnnnnngggg

2009-05-04T11:29:00.006+08:00

P.S: I always wonder, why someone need fake tan? In tropical country?
To get it even and orange? So?
The sun is out there!!

Just after I lost my tan from my March trip, I got another dose in my work, and another one on Saturday, 25th April. The annual Dive Expo was back, this time they combine with Boat Show in Marina Keppel Bay. Asian Dive Expo (Adex) was not held in Singapore last year, but year 2006.

Costing $10 for the admission fee, we could get half price with either any Dive Certification Cards, Dan Membership card, sailing card if we have, for all water related type of cards and some certain platinum2 credit cards. Leo had gone there a day before, he was kind enough to bring us there again, with another new diver from his ex office.
The exhibition itself only opened its door at 1 o’clock, which is a lazy mistake because we started our day early. Anyway, with the harsh hot weather nowadays, opening at one means bright sunny day on top of our head.

Adex itself was not fantastic, smaller than the previous one but quite compact. There are a lot of new equipment players in the market, especially for black flotation Bcd, but the main players like Dive Rite, Halcyon, Scubapro were there to stay. I surprised that I didn’t see many, or none? Mares product, just as the time when we were looking for the bag. Our equipment are either vintage, discontinued or broken. I still can’t believe that we are that old, well, it’s quite a fast moving industry I suppose. We no longer able to find our classic Travel and Venture Wing (new version of my Travel has so much less lifting power and new version of Venture is so much uglier, with big butt), our fins classic Twinjet and Longfin Apollo has changed to ugly colorful version or shorter version quite long ago. The regulators Apex has whatever XXX version, my Mosquito and hubby’s Atom dive computers are no longer in production. We are actually happy with the fact, it means we have more unique gears, kaka. Our one and only set sets worth every cents and still are.
Replacement stuffs that we were looking for were glove and bag. We had been shopping before the trip yet we still need these two. My gloves had become ‘sailing glove’ because my thumb, index and middle fingers are peeping out . Two knuckles each. Left and right.

Anyway, the dive exhibition was not so impressive, there were less participating operators, however, it seemed like there were more variety of stuff to sale. I also notice the number of participating Indonesian destination operators were almost dominating the exhibition. Bali, Menado, Komodo, even Thousand Island. We found Timor Leste also, the brand new country that got their independence from Indonesia, is also a diving destination near Alor, Komodo, with the highlight of Dugong. Dugooog!!!

Anyway, it was nice to talk to fellow Indonesians. The surprising thing was, we met our Dive Master in Komodo back then, Made from Bali. We were quite sure he wouldn’t recognize us, it had been three years and as a DM, he must have met hundreds of divers. Surprisingly, he greeted us first by name, waw, I think that’s very nice for him to remember us. We had a short chat and he might be the person we can look for in case we want to do budget diving in Easter part of Indonesia like Wakatobi and Rajah Empat. Dream destination but budget diving. That’s is what we always live for. Great!

I ended up buying a bloody expensive book, Nudibranch Ecycopedia from Neville Coleman, the guy who is great in underwater naturalist. Personally signed and it’s not in sale in common bookstores. We could find it from Song, the guy whom we dealt for underwater housing but I might as well buy it there, although it’s heavy, but I’m happy to own it. With that, I could identify the nudibranches that we saw, including the latest bizarre hairy one. If one day I found something that can’t be identified from this book, I suppose I can name it, maybe something like Chromodoris Ping. He he he.. Why not. ;p

We didn’t find the bag we want. It’s difficult because our criterias are: big but not bulky, cheap but good, have wheel but not heavy, slim but fit two sets. Nah.! The one that we have we got it for only 70 bucks, Nike brand, bought from someone who never used it. We tortured it for almost five years and still usable but the wheels are already a bit out of direction and almost fell off. I ended up buying Akona the frog glove on sale and a small cute whaleshark soft toy.

From the diving booths, we proceeded to outdoor boat show. The weather was killing, as weird as it is, this year we had our rainy season until February, but starting April, the weather is already more unbearable than usual June, it’s hoooot, with no wind or hot-air wind, the sun was like burning the skin by piercing it, it’s even unbearable to walk barefoot for very short distance when we stepped in the boats.
We visited and entered around eight maybe ten boats. Except for sale, the boats were rented for short excursion. Some boats can amazingly fit in three bedrooms and two bathroom, recreation room, kitchen, open deck or sundeck. We were all drooling there imagining if we owned the boat, where to do giant stride, how many people we can bring in, so on and so forth.

There was one catamaran, probably forty-five footer? I’m not familiar with the sizing, had a huge master bedroom with king size bed and separate toilet and shower. It also had open sundeck in front, sunken seating with fridge and mini bar to enjoy the sea and the sky with friends. Catamaran normally comes with net in front where you can lie down. Regardless, regardless. How nice it is to have one..ha…
The cost of these luxury bat surprass the cost of a flat anytime. Not only that, the real killing parts are the maintenance and the docking fees.

We went around until our head couldn’t take the heat, then we sat down and had a ‘tea’ break. We then met up with the rest in Tcc, although we actually only know Darien, Sharon and Sharon. One of the Sharon is the owner of Fisherman Dive Operator, it’s amazing that she still remember us, 2003 is six years ago… perhaps she remembers us from the trouble we gave her that time, for postponing our Open Water Class for one year.

Darien just come back from Sipadan, staying in Sea Venture oil rig in front of Mabul, the one we always looked at and dreamt to stay, imagining doing gigantic gargantuan height giant stride directly to the sea. Ha.. Although the giant giant stride might not be possible, just below Sea Venture we could find the resident pygmy sea horse, which amazingly, still there. Or maybe other generation of pygmy sea horse. Of course. Anyway, they saw whaleshark, wow...! Sea Venture is quite close to the shore and the water should be quite shallow. How fun it would be..We haven’t got a chance to see whaleshark while scuba diving, I’d love to. I’d love to. How I love to…!

Anyway, except from that weekend and the trip, the on and off tanning happen almost every weekend. Weekend before that, taking boat trip and ‘sun tanning’ in the deck during a voluntary work and week after, hunting land photographs with hubby and friends in the park.
It’s coincidentally full of outdoor related activities together with the madness of the unusual April’s sun.

So, what is my color now? I don’t know. Some say I’m just as fair. Damn.. They can’t see under my watch, and even so, that’s only a mere gradient from all gradients..

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
- Kin Hubbard

In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
- Billy Connelly

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
D- an Spencer

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.
- Alice Hoffman

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
- George Carlin

Folks, this is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air.
- Curt Gowdy

The Emerald Color of Celebes Sea (13-27 March 2009)

2009-04-26T23:00:00.005+08:00

Look below! Or linK on The riGht..
I BlooDdy hate ThiS kind of WriTing but not toDay! I'm so HapPy to finaLly finiSh this..!!!
(It's so damn hard to write this way! Why would anyone do that?)

http://apingpingaa-celebesmarch2009.blogspot.com/

Cheers!

Penggerogotan Bangsa Kita

2009-04-02T16:00:00.005+08:00

Waduuuh, judulnya gak nahan bener. Gak biasa-biasanya...
Tenang. Tenang.. Kayaknya isinya sama aja tapi. Masih reseh kok.
Ha...
Udah lama gak ngepos, karena gak ada fasilitas.

Setiap kali pergi menyelam, gua selalu ketemu satu kenyataan yang mengecewakan, pengelolanya ternyata bule.
Sepertinya apapun sumber daya alam yang oke di Indo, pasti yang nongol bule juga.

Emang sih., kunyuk2 berambut kuning itu banyak yang mempunyai maksud baik, tapi selaen itu segala macam eksploitasi juga ada. Lagian, kenapa bukan kita, kunyuk2 negara sendiri yang melakukannya?

Sayangnya orang Indo yang peduli atau mau banyakan gak punya materi dan dukungan yang cukup. Misalnya, untuk membangun sebuah usaha diving, dibutuhkan modal gila2an. Jangankan usaha diving, mau jadi guide aja modalnya cukup gila. Menyedihkan kalau melihat usaha menyelam, yang mengelola bule atau orang asing yang kuat bayar dan insting bisnisnya gede.
Selaen memanfaatkan, memupuk kekayaan yang sering diliat terutama diusaha2 kayak tambang dan laen-laen, orang bule banyak yang mengaku melakukannya karena peduli. Emang bener, banyak yang peduli, banyak yang sayang alam, banyak yang mempunyai pengetahuan tinggi tentang pelestarian laut, tapi dilain pihak, bukan cuman mereka yang bisa peduli. Dan jumlah kepedulian yang tulus itu cukup jarang. Cukuuup jarang.

Makanya selama ini kalau udah menghubungi operator menyelam, kena bule, kita langsung gak pengen. Bukannya rasis doang, tapi banyak alasan di belakang. Pertama, kita lebih senang berurusan dengan orang Indo, mungkin karena ini industri luar dalam, hubungan orang Indo ketat di urusan selam menyelam. Keramahan mereka jelas. Mungkin karena usaha penyelaman banyakan di tempat2 terpencil yang orangnya masih tulen baik2. Ramah, dan gak cerewet.
Kedua, mengaku banget. Urusan harga. Kesamaan kewarganegaraan masih ketat gue rasakan. Harga khusus, harga special, gak pernah gagal ditawarkan. Dan harga orang Indo bisa jauh berbeda dengan harga rambut kuning, atau rambut hitam yang punya katepe laen. Kadang kala harga kita bagus banget ampe kita juga bingung bagaimana usaha mereka bisa menguntungkan. Tapi begitulah, gue salut sama setiakawanan yang begitu kental. Dilain pihak, gue gak rela menguntungin orang bule, yang ngasih harganya mencekik jiwa raga. Dan anehnya, kita disuruh bayar American Dollar atau Euro. Divingnya dimana? Indonesia. Jual beli pake apa? Rupiah. Transaksi dimana? Indonesia. Gua orang apa? Indonesia. Lha, kenapa ngotot ngecharge gue pake lembaran yang gue pegangpun gak pernah?

Ketiga, sori, tapi seperti gua bilang sering-sering, kualitas guide orang bule tidak begitu oke. Bule atau orang Asia yang sok bule. Nyelam cepat-cepat, kayak mau lomba. Napas naga bentar lagi minta naek karena udara dalam tabung habis. Dan banyak yang suka berani mati, menyelam tuh makin dalam makin asik. Makin berbahaya, makin heboh. Trus bangga. Keren2 equipment mahal2, belom bisa melayang dalam air udah bawa kamera. Trus jatuh. Hilang. Mewek. Atau kuliah panjang lebar tentang pelestarian lingkungan, gak boleh pake sarung tangan atau reef hook, merusak alam. Giliran kena arus, karang ditendang, ditabrak dan dipeluk. Jangankan karang, kepala orang laen juga disambar. Atau berenang gaya katak, tangan diayun kemana-mana. Kaki kena karang, bukannya diangkat, tapi ditendang biar bebas, padahal itu kepala gue.
Antara diving, minumnya bir. Emang bagi mereka kayak coca-cola.., tapi drink diving sama no-no nya dengan drink driving. Bisa mencelakakan diri sendiri dan orang laen. Dalam air, semua hal bisa jadi berabe. Kalo berabe, ukuran detik atau menit bisa menentukan hidup matinya orang.

Kalo nyari barang-barang kecil, atau macro, mereka juga gak bisa. Guide Indo paling jempolan, alhasil bekal sakti mencari kutu rambut, atau jarum dalam jerami, atau memeras jemuran. Pokoknya bisa. Tokcer deh. Benar. Kesaksian gue terhadap dive master Indo, mereka benar2 jempolan. Dan jarang bacot gede. Sangat jarang. Bener deh.

Karena itu, karena itu, betapa senangnya kita kalo ketemu operator lokal. Biasanya satu diantara selusin, tapi selalu ada. Yang menyedihkan kalo operator Indo yang begitu kita hubungin, ternyata udah jadi bule atau orang Singapur. Untungnya semua yang kita ikutin masih ada, masih oke, masih berjalan.

Semoga kita gak terus menerus digerogoti dan makin bisa berpijak sendiri. Semoga.

Kalo gue kedengerannya rasis sama orang bule ataupun Singapur, gua emang rasis.
Tapi perlu loe tau, gue rasis sama siapa aja, termasuk sama kaum gua sendiri.
Gua sadar betul kalo gue mau nambah nama tengah di katepe, gue cocoknya milih ‘Nyolod’.

Begitulah. Begitulah, nyet.

Song's Lyrics

2009-02-21T10:44:00.004+08:00

Thereare some songs that can make a killing with their lyrics. They might not always be great song, but the lyrics can certainly punch.

I’m sure there are some more to add, or I miss out. And sorry if my songs vocabulary is not up to date. I have been deprived from radio from more than a year now, in return of natural music of monkey swearing every morning. Not everyone gets what I mean. ;p

Most romantic.
I didn’t really pay attention to this song until I took time to listen to the lyrics. She Will Be Loved by Maroon Five probably one of the most romantic thing someone can do to another.

Always there to help her. Always belong to someone else. Drive miles and miles up your door. Spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for a girl with the broken smile. I want to make you feel beautiful. She will be loved.

Most of the complains that my gender voice out is the lack of attention of the other gender, or men who take up good thing without wanting to deal with the whole package. Man who absorbs happy times and leaves you to cry when dealing with sorrow. Or those who hanging around when you are in your best and pretty. Or when the love gone before the wind change direction. Or they take the best and leave, or they only amused when you dress up and scream high up the neck when see you in messy wake up condition.

The guy in the song does all the reverse. Of course, it’s in a song. He seeks to be with her to accompany her in the worst time, to pick up her broken pieces and make her smile and feel beautiful again, while she is not even his. It’s sort of like someone who only got the shits and loves her unconditionally. How rare would it be?

That is why I voted it as the most romantic song without all the mushy pukey words.

Most Heartbroken.
I can't make you love me - George Michael

Lack of word is what it should be. This is the most heart breaking of all the heart broken songs. The melody is so sad that you feel like poking something in the eye, it hurts. Not to mention the lyrics.

Broken hearted can be resulted from one sided love or when your loved one loves someone else or doesn’t love you, whether he/she with you. That’s the recipe for a disastrous night, so turn on the music and be miserable. Different from typical whinny why oh why type of broken heart song, this one is almost speechless.

Just hold me close, don’t patronize me. Tell me no lies. Turn off this voices inside my head. I’ll close my eyes, then I don’t see, the love you don’t feel when you’re holding me.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't...

Ah. How reality is pain. Say no more. One sentence kills it all.

Mourning song, because human are mortal.
To Where You Are - Josh Groban

I think no one can beat this.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? As my heart holds you, just one beat away. A breath away is not far from where you are.

The most male chauvinist song.
Please Release Me - Engelbert Humperdinck

This is old song that makes me roll my eyes everytime I hear it.

Please release me let me go, for I don’t love anymore. Her lips are warm while yours are cold.

Bloooothy hell.

So close yet so far.
Always like this one, it nails it.
Almost Here - Brian McFadden & Delta Goodrem

Shadows bleeding through the light, where the love once shined so bright
Love's not always black and white, haven't I always loved you?

When I need you, you’re almost here, and I know that’s not enough. When I’m with you, I’m close to tear, cause I know that you’re almost here.

The song that commands headlines in newspaper, and why history never changes.
Six Days - DJ Shadow

It has been used irrelevantly as Tokyo Drift soundtrack, the beats match, but the lyrics definitely belong to deeper world.

Leader starts to frown, it’s sword and gun day.
You never thought we'd go to war, After all the things we saw, It's April Fools' day.
You hear a whistling overhead, Are you alive or are you dead?
You feel a shaking on the ground, A billion candles burn around,Is it your birthday?

Tomorrow never comes until it’s too late.

Half going crazy song.
Anxiety - Black Eyed Pea

I really like how they put it. It’s a good frustration song when you need some voices to yell in your head.

Got my brain stuck going through the motions
Everywhere I turn its a dead end in front of me
Strange paranoia took over me, Its weighing' me down, and I can't run any longer.
Knees to the ground.

Anxiety, sane and insane rivalry, paranoia drives me to my knee.

‘If only’ song.
I Am A Rock - Simon and Garfunkel
Animal Song - Savage Garden

Being human with feelings is difficult.
How human always wish to be something else to escape from our troubles and avoid being hurt.

I want to live like animal, careless and free. I want to run to the jungle with the wind in my hair and the sand on my feet.

I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island. And the rock feels no pain. And the island never cries.

Different Christmas song.

Not mistletoe, not carol, nor present, no white snow.

So heres my lifelong wish, My grown-up christmas list.
Not for myself, But for a world in need.

No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start, and time would heal all hearts.
Everyone would have a friend, the right would always win, and love would never end.

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth.

Every coin has two sides.
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

The longer we live, the ore we find that the thing that we thought we know, might not be like what we thought.

All lyrics, sample:
ROWS and ***Flows*** of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Again, there are more to add, but i post this first.

Sticky Situation

2009-02-12T10:57:00.002+08:00

If I happen to meet someone I don’t know enough to be comfortable, I know enough to ignore, it can be quite a disaster. This morning I met up with a neighbour friendly and kind enough to exchange small talks. We were both in hurry, had to rush and said goodbye to each other after the lift hit ground floor.

If I happen to be the one in front, no problem, I would race, fast. The problem is when she is in front, says goodbye, and the races. Noisy and audible with the shoe heel clicking onto the pavement, but yet, there is not improvement in the speed compared to my three years old niece. Difficult to take over, because she is trying her best to walk fast, swinging hands and bags, strains her leg muscle and that is fast for her. I have to walk behind and find a chance to make a detour. Everything can goes well, but if for some situation that holds me up, I might meet in the intersection again and it would more devastating.

If I stuck in a place with someone I don’t want to.

Taking bus to work, there is almost certain that I’m going to meet that regular collagues or even strangers who share the same bus with me, at the same time, every day. Recognition, smile, some people are aware enough to keep their distance. But for others, it’s just a must to them to change small talk and sit beside you in the bus.

There are a lot of people growing up and think that small gesture is a must even though they might not like it. My background, my family also adopt this kind off thinking especially toward older relatives. But mom and dad must have had hard time with me, since I’m quite oblivious to that. My principal is there is no need for forced small talk or visit if there in no genuine intention. What’s that for… you feel uncomfortable, I feel uncomfortable, we are both wasting time to do what we don’t like, just because we want to be polite, or it is a tradition. Nah., cut it slack. If we both know we don’t want it, I volunteer to be the bad guy and stop the hassle. Although they might label me what and what, hey., they thank me deep in their heart.

But if your relatives and friends are genuinely want to see you or need you, than perhaps we should suck it up and give them our time if that means something for them, as long as they don’t turn into unreasonable nagging we are good for nothing type of advisor, I still think that relation is very important minus all the unnecessary annoying small talks.

Back to the sticky situation I can’t really avoid, sitting for half an hour in the bus every morning with someone who constantly talks. I dread every morning to see her in the bus terminal. We totally have nothing in common, not even for opposite change of mindset. I enjoy hearing things from different point of view, but this is not stimulating one. (Remember on of the Friends episode when Ross and Mike stuck together? But at least both of them keep quiet.)

I can even memorize how she would start the conversation ‘I’m so tired’.
It goes over and over and over again and one day I bothered myself to ask: You can’t be possibly feeling tired and say it every morning. You can say something else for a change. Anything. Sleepy. Okay. My butt is itchy. Why not. The sky is blue. Uh-uh, fair enough. I’m afraid that my bag will eat me. This could get interesting.

Just don’t say something for the sake of saying it. I don’t mind if you don’t sit beside me just because we know each other in the office. And if you don’t talk. I don’t want my first contact with outside is someone who is tired all the time and be contagious.

After awhile, a long agony while, she gets my point, I guess. So I can enjoy writing or listening to music for half an hour. I’m a loner, picky and I’m mean. I get it. But if that can get me out from sticky situation....

Three Things Always In My List

2009-02-05T10:35:00.003+08:00

I am a spiritual person. That’s what I’ve been told, together with the term I always thought I am, not religious. I started to agree with my friend. Spiritual sounds fair, it makes sense.

I don't like people using religion as the association to judge one person is good or not without looking at the person. I don't like one religion thrashing another.
I don't like than people are close minded to another belief just because they are not in the same.

If anything, along the history, religion brings more catasthropic than peace, because of human interpretation. So yah, I don't want to be too religious.
Inviting weird and accusing stares everytime I said that, make me want to hold onto it more because that is exactly the reason.

Being spiritual doesn't mean that I worship a tree or cutting chicken head to pray, spiritual according to us probably means that somebody tries to get the essence of all the good things instead of the surface or the brand it comes with, like religion. My essence of right or wrong is perceptive, yes, but again, what isn’t?

In fact, spiritual that I agree with not only skeptical about human interpretation, but also skeptical about right or wrong. Except really obvious ones, I believe not everything is created black or white, there are big areas and different shades of grey as there are always two sides of coins, there are things we don’t understand and we don’t have the capability to judge objectively if we are not in the same position. Chinese symbol called Patkwa, has deep meaning, nothing is absolute, for every white there is something black and vice versa.

Why not? What not? Can tell me when your mind has been cleared forever, can anyone say they always get by days without thinking or doing or saying something not good?

Human always find similarities or differences with others, almost everything in almost everyway, two most obvious factors, religion and races. One quote that I remember, if one day god decide to make human in one race, one religion, we would still able to find something we can start the war for.

Racist, is the most common of human characteristic nowadays and always. Maybe only less than 0.1% of human are not racist, we are all racist in certain level. Stereotyping, subjective opinions, no matter how small. Everyone is guilty. Me too.

So struggling to stand on my feet, I’m always learning to do three things:

1. Never judge: Regardless how clear I thought it would be, everything might not be what it seems. People might not understand something they don’t go through themselves. Try to see on the other person side, think of what I might have done on his/her shoes. What seems wrong could be right from another POV.

2. See the person, not his race, religion or status. Rich and reputable can be evil, poor can be kind-hearted. Anyone with any religion and race are capable of doing good or doing bad, it comes back to the person..

3. Not doing bad things. As a plus, do good things.

This list is bloody hard to do. As I said, majority of people are judgmental and racist, and naughty, and if I might add, many people close their minds to other than what they believe.

Anyway a friend sent me these good quotes from Gandhi I think is nice to ponder, whoever and whatever someone is....

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.

There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed.

It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings.

It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.

To give service to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

.

Bus Kotaaaa

2009-02-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

Terkadang kalo orang lagi apes, emang apes.
Tadi gue sok-sokan nongkrong semenit lebih dari waktu habis jam kerja, semeniiit aja. Tapi gak tahan, akhirnya gue cabut, ngibrit… sampe hamper nabrak teman kerja gue..gile…kerja sepuluh jam termasuk makan, dan hari ini lebih-lebih, karena gue nongol pagian buat jogging2an dan mandi dikantor.

Tapinya, hape ketinggalan, akhirnya gue ngebut lagi masuk kantor, gak peduli direktur masih di situ dan gedubrakan lagi keluar.

Seperempat jarak ke halte bus, ada telpon bunyi. Nah lho, untung gak ketinggalan dan heboh sendiri dikantor. Nomor Indo, kepo gua. Jadi gua angkat biarpun lari-lari. Suara gak jelas. Gua tutup.

Lari lagi. Bener aja, bis udah nunggu, untungnya ada bis laen didepannya dan ada kunyuks yang masih naek. Bukan maen, lutut tua masih harus ngebut, dan buset, telpon bunyi lagi.

Ternyata temen SMA gue, ngucapin met ultah yang salah tanggal pula. Tertutup lagi, berhasil duduk dibus, napas hampir putus, bunyi lagi. Setelah protes kenapa telponnya ditutup gue cerita kalo tadi lagi ngejar-ngejar bus.

“Haahhahaha..kok masih sama aja..ngejar-ngejar bus?? Dari dulu ampe sekarang?!! Kakakka…. Ngapain kerja dinegara orang capek-capek ternyata ngejar bus juga?!??” katanya nyolod.
Untungnya dia best friend suku Adam gua yang terlama, jadi mau gak mau gua harus terima kekunyukan beserta kenyolodan yang belom berubah.

Dari dulu nih orang kalo ngomong sering kena ke pusat rasa sakit. Kali ini meleset dikit sih, soalnya gue ternyata BARU sadar. Setelah kelar ngobrol, gue jadi senyum2 gila sendiri.

Iyah yah…kok kayaknya gak ada perbaikan nasib?? Dulu ngejar bus, sekarang ngejar bus.. Dulu ekor kuda, sekarang masih! Dari soal berpakaian, juga gak banyak berubah, gue masih punya baju Donald bebek dan doraemon… soal sepatu… masih sepatu kets..jadi dari pikiran gua kalo udah kerja tuh pake rok mini dan lipstick bulepotan… apa yang terjadi… tidak adakah perbaikan nasib (enter lagu keroncong..)

Tapi sambil jalan, gue mikir lagi.. nih teman busyuk bikin gua mikirin topik yang sama sepanjang perjalanan pulang.., sekarang kan gua bisa bayar bill sendiri (tapi dulu gak punya bill), bisa kasih makan diri sendiri, belanja diri sendiri.. dan mulai bisa membalas jasa orang tua… biarpun masih ngejar2 bus…gak apa-apalah… yang pasti gua kayaknya gak bisa nelpon sambil lari lagi..hehe…biarpun dulu gak punya henpon…

Kalo lebih dipikir2 lagi, justru ngejar bis inilah dimana gue bisa merasakan masa muda jaman doeloe…lari2 diterbang angin dilapangan..setidaknya selagi lutut tua ini masih bisa berderak….

Gak ada hubungannya:
Temen dateng dari Jakarta, bonyok dateng dari Jakarta, membuat gua jadi kangen Jakarta…sudah berapa lama gua gak pulang…dua taon….sudah berapa lama gua gak ngejar2 bus Jakarta.. Sembilan taon…buset… dan gua denger.., Jakarta sekarang keren banget.. mi tek-tek bisa ditelpon..gileeeee…holly molly…cinta deh gua..berarti gak usah nongkrong diteras ampe tukang2 lewat dan tukang2 gak perlu panjang2in leher lagi buat nungguin kita keluar… asik bener…

Coba kalo disini masih ada hal-hal icil picil gitu… kalo laper disini.. nyahoo!! Gigit tuh kaki, atau makan McD… mana ada tek..tek..tek…

Taiwan-HK : Christmas in Furry Friendly Land

2009-01-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

New addition:

Link:
http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Cheers,
Ping

Why Women Want? Read This!

2008-12-17T17:02:00.005+08:00

Times and again, it is surprising to see what guys perception of girls. Eventhough it’s not typical, but from friends and relative and others, there are some truths that guys might use to deal with ordinary girls, and there are a lot of ordinary girls out there. More than half of my friends are, some are not, some are even more ordinary. Unless you don’t believe me. Warning: It doesn’t work with all girls, but I think it works with more girls than you ever thought it would.

#1. Money is not (really) important.

This one is the most argued statement and most guys will jump on their seats. What? Then how do you explain all the suffering that we had gone through to win a girl’s heart? Sell kidney, cut toes to claim insurance to buy her stuff that she will proudly use or won’t throw away?
True. Go sell your kidney.
But the other truth is, there are a lot of girls who are not impressed with money, especially if the money is not belong to the suitor, aka daddy wealth etc. So flaunting a Ferrari or spending dad’s money only gets us pissed.
Impression: this bugger is unappreciative, dependent and proud of it. Logically, who will like this type of person? Genuinely?

Things would be different if the wealth is his own. He earns it, he has it. But mostly, guys who work up from bottom know how hard it could be and tend to be more down-to-earth and low profile. That is good. Even better if he doesn’t use it to woo a girl.

But if not belong to the two categories, girls still like hardworking ‘poorer’ guys, if not more. There is a will, there is a spirit, he gets out there and tries to support his family. It proves more.
Good and happy moment is not what money can buy.
Imagine the movie scene of dressing up, watch opera in another country, meal in another country and big diamond as a date gift, then cruise date.
It might be a dream date for some, but not necessary is. It’s like wearing a tight dress and there is no way to escape or breathe properly.

How about strolling in the beach or park with the guy who makes you laugh and feel comfortable..?

It’s personal, romantic, fun and the girl got all the attention undivided. Well?

#2. Singing in the balcony is not a really good idea.

For old movies, that is what romantic is. Showing unlimited affections in the public or sending bed of roses.

Showing affections is good, but overdoing it can works in reverse.
Most one can do is run, and fast, and wear a mask if have too.
Not too much, we want to feel special but not centre of gossip and mockery, especially when the affections are short-lived aka during the very first love blooming session only.

What happen to your bed of roses/balcony singer guy?
Oh. He passed through that phase and now just fart at home and pick me up two hours late if he remembers at all.
With fresh roses?
Nahhhh. Stinking breath.

So if it’s not you, don’t be it to impress a girl. Girls are demanding. While guys thought wooing time is the time they do their best, girls will hope that the best is the one they will keep getting. So, when the standard drops, they start to question your love.
So, better present what is real, be yourself. (If you don’t have the quality of ‘be yourself’, don’t blame me if it’s not working ;p).
Don’t over do but keep the standard. Genuine is the word.

#3. We need security

Nothing, nothing can underestimate this factor. Almost all girlfriends who look for my listening ears when they have sour relationship, this factor came up.
It’s not really the way the guy look at girl’s boob on the street, or on the teve or on the magazine, it’s not the way a guy turns his head to see beautiful women and sprains their neck. Most of girls are okay with that. Girls appreciate other’s beauty too.

But when a guy starts to show less interest, showing up later and later from the plan, forgotten about her in the group, and shows less and less appreciation to their relationship, most girls will question that and feel insecure. Who wouldn’t? It’s the dose that different. It sucks when a guy being all appreciative to woo you and then wear off as time goes by, how can you look into future if he keeps it up? Remember no #2. But above anything, non appreciative is the key for trouble to every relationship. Every. Even family and friends. Just because what you have, don’t forget to be grateful and treasure it. Human feeling is too fragile, nobody knows how many shots one can take, and even if someone can take multiple shots, the scars are there.

Insecurity is such a big factor that can drive people insane for every aspect of life. It takes away the fun of adventure, the peace of rest, the mind over body, and the logic over fear.

Don’t interpret this as calling to your girlfriend 3-4 times a day, showing up every where she is and celebrate every little things you can think of. It doesn’t work that extreme, it will kill the guy and even the girl off very fast, suffocated.

Some things will wear off the longer the relationship is, but main thing, it simply means that one have to be respectful, appreciative in relationship and never take it for granted.
But this is not easy at all.

#4. We hate fake gentleman or ungentleman.

Women are traditional creature. Regardless how bitchy and feminist we could be ;p (except a very extreme one) we still like to be treated as woman. It’s nice when we go out with a guy and they sort of protect and take care of you. From very simple thing like protecting you from the rain, putting himself on the side of the road where the car come first, offering you helping hand for some obstruction like steps, holes (honestly, we can do it. We are built almost the same and we won’t die jumping over small hole or climb some height), but it’s a very nice gesture and believe it or not, it sends us thinking of the guy higher.

We also like it when a guy takes charge. Waiving for cab, initiate to order food, make decisions and think about our safety in small or extreme way. For example, escorting you away from danger first before engaging to fight with another guy over you. Mhaha…But take note, no girls except blood thirsty one likes to see her guy or friend got beaten up or involve in anything violence, unless you are superhero who can kick ass without being hurt. Intelligent self control and cool is highly appreciated, together with logic and wisdom. Ce e lah…

These small protective and gentleman quality always win some soft spots, but warning: It has to be genuine, it really has to be genuine. We are watchful and really respect those move that goes under the radar, because it could be so genuine that the guy didn’t realize he is doing something really good. For example, pouring rain, one umbrella, classic scenario. You get to destination safe and sound, and dry. Only when you notice the guy is half drenched like a rat inside the gutter. Winning point: He takes good care of you without thinking of himself and he respects the personal distance (so he was out of the diameter of the umbrella just to avoid you being uncomfortable for getting too close). Aww…. It works the other way around with opportunist who take the chance to cuddle all over you without seeing the killing signal. Don’t share umbrella, and if you already did, kick his nuts.

The top of all and priceless is when a guy gives up something very important just to be there for you when you need him. This can’t be fake and it proves a lot. A loooot. This is kind of guy one who has the quality to be the companion of life. :")

Speaking of fake, fake gentlemen is the worst when they get caught. It’s like they treat us good, nice, and all of the qualities of making us feel impressed, flattered and protected then when we turn around, he bangs a door in front of old lady or someone else who he doesn’t have a purpose with. Or he is only good with those good looking ones. This kind is a branded male chauvinist pig that we don’t want to get involved seriously. He only treats us good when he wants us or something from us, the moment we don’t fit into the category, that is the moment he will turn his back or slam the door across our fore heads.
Point is: being fake doesn't work for long term.

This is far most a very important if not the most important point. It can hide ugly faces and other defect. Genuine smiles and gentleman deeds are really attractive.

So, for the lengthy post.
Indeed, because everytime I only have a chance to write half a point only. The post has been hanging around forever, better get it posted. When I finish, I don’t even know whether this is the topic I intend to write on the first place, and I’m sure I miss a lot of things, but the key important things are there.

Sorry for girls who don’t feel represented as ‘we’. Everybody is different, nobody is identical. Screw you, write you own. Ha…joking…
For the guys, we are not that complicated. Okay..we are.. our brain is clogged with tangled nerves and we think too much for too many little things. We can’t help it, we don’t have moustache to worry about.

But I dare to say, we are complicated in simple way, it is actually quite easy to read once you get the pattern. Hm?

Above all, these are good base but of course there other important factors, without chemistry it won't work, also, different personality attraction affect different people.

Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
- Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
- Albert Einstein

Men need rule books. Women want men to intuit what they want. And only about 2% of men can do that, and most of them are not heterosexual.
- Dennis Prager

;p

.

Christmas Is Here Again

2008-12-16T09:44:00.008+08:00

Christmas is here again…yay!
It’s my favorite time of the year although I have mix feeling for Christmas.

I love it because the weather is cooler, the city is more romantic with the raindrop and drizzling wind, essential for my survival in the city.
It’s also the time to care and share more and be grateful, especially for the wonderful family, that even we are apart and scattered everywhere, we gather our thoughts of them together.
I’ll never forget the twinkling lonely Christmas tune in the dawn of some some years ago when I had to leave home for college and realized how much I’m going to miss it again.
Christmas is also blue because it was Christmas time when I had my heart break. Ceeee e lahhhh…
But on top of that, nobody can forget the tragedy of Boxing Day 2004, it affected me more than I never thought it would ever be.

So let me lift my mug and cheers to everyone, we have to always always be grateful and enjoy our lives as if there is no tomorrow, but don’t forget to save some in case we don’t die tomorrow. Cheers! :)

Christmas in new office, I never thought it would be this fun. We put up some Christmas decoration, although it’s minimalist, this morning I added some. ;p

Can you tell which one that I added?

We also just had our Christmas race that left me and my two colleagues cramp because we laughed like mad.

HERE ARE THE CONTESTANT!

THE CHEERLEADERS!

THE SUPORTERS!

THE VENUE!

OF COURSE WE HAD TO GET RID OF THE PESTS FIRST!

THE AERIAL PHOTOGRAPHER!

AND THE WINNER IS...........

(APPLAUSE!!)

Believe us! It's fair! We reconfirm and reconfirm again ;p

Merry Christmas to you all :)

My favorite Christmas's, still the classic!

- Silent Night by David Lanz

- So This Is Christmas by John Lennon

- My Grown Up Christmas List by Michael Bubble

- The Christmas Song

- What Child Is It

- I'll be Home for Christmas

- O Holy Night

- O Little Town og Bethlehem

And some I don't even know the title...

Traveling!

2008-12-04T10:25:00.002+08:00

I always want some magical stuff from my favorite cartoon character, the round and fat and bald blue cat who doesn’t look like a cat.. One of the thing I want is the Magical Door, repeat after me with croacky voice “Pintu Kemana Sajaaaaaaaaa”.

How wonderful it would be if I have this thing. Imagine, I can just open the door and go to the best dive sites in the world that I would never able to afford without sacrificing a lot of things. I can just plung to wherever I want to be, staring at the sky above the remote mountain in Java, walking in the snow in Switzerland, canyoning trough the cliff in Tibet, sand tobogganing in Australia outback, watch African Dance ritual in, well, Africa, counting migrating penguin in Antarctica, basking with marine iguana in Galapagos (although.. hiii! Giant lizard!), have breakfast in New Zealand, lunch in Hokkaido and dinner in Yogyakarta, and so and so hell yeah!..

But now I have different thinking, I think human should endure traveling while they can, it shapes important part of our lives. Maybe it’s not so exciting to go everywhere again if what we need to do is open that door. Traveling to reach a destination is time and resource consuming, tiring, dangerous, sickening but it makes us grateful to reach the end of it. Sometimes, the traveling itself is the enjoyment and important part of the trip. We create bonds with companion, make friends, even fall in love, have exciting adventure to remember etc etc.., even movie world admit the necessity, look at movies like TransAmerica, The terminal, Titanic, Little Miss Sunshine to name a few..

Of course there are times when all we want during traveling is to drop dead in the bedroom. I have encountered at least twice. As I am not resistant with motion sickness (I think I lost a screw somewhere in my head, it affects my balance. I even got prescription with what the doctor called cure for “Nerve Imbalanced”, how crazy is that sound? But don’t shun me, it’s quite common ok…).

Yah, there are times when I spent whole day traveling in bus’s toilet. Tell me about the scenery in Twelve Apostles, now it’s not even Twelve anymore, Apollo Bay, etc etc..What I remember is throwing up in the toilet every 15 minutes, literally, I was so pissed that I just sat in the toilet. Tell me about the nice first experience of scuba dive, what I did was also throwing up leaning on the boat, on the sea surface and underwater.
Tell me about squeezing my legs and everything into cramp airline and stranded in the airport waiting for plane delay in hot weather and smelly neighbors, about the fear when being driven by someone who acted like drunkard, or plane that is not working properly just before boarding. Mugger, crappy people, insanity, bau terasi, hairy people…
There are whole load of crap.

But still, traveling is significant, it keeps us grateful when we reach destination, it gives us motivation to be able to step out foot somewhere one day one time, it keeps the quiet place quiet, exotic places exotic, great diving site great, and pretty places pretty. What is more significant?

Of course, if I’m able to bargain, I would like to eliminate the negative impact of traveling, the worry of safety of loved ones. And to get the advantage like being able to visit my family anytime now and then.

That would be ideal.

If only the world is ideal.

Doraemoooooonnnnnnn!!!

Only the traveling is good which reveals to me the value of home and enables me to enjoy it better.
- Henry David Thorea

There is a third dimension to traveling, the longing for what is beyond.
- Jan Myrdal

The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast and you miss all you are traveling for.

- Unknown

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

I would like to spend the whole of my life traveling, if I could anywhere borrow another life to spend at home.
- William Hazlitt

My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world.
- Billy Graham

Junkie!

2008-11-23T20:03:00.005+08:00

'Spring' cleaning today.
It's amazing how many junks can build up over a life time.

Real junks, rubbish, unused things, garbages, and my first skirt that stun me for almost half an hour, stunned! How could I ever fit inside that?!! Wohoo, my waist, was..WAS, incredibly small that I'm not even sure one of my tigh can go in now! What happened?? Ouch..ouch..ouch...

Other junks in the category of throw or not throw, it's not useful anymore, i don't even know if it has its use, but it's difficult to throw away. Gifts, cards, letters, toys, souvenirs, books, tools for art and craft, even bicycle we had never used anymore because it's so tedious to pull it out of the store room, assemble the wheels, looking for the pump etc.

Some small things contain a lot of stories. I had a bag full of bottles full of sands. Each bottle of sands come from different beach I had visited, housed inside decorative glass bottle, or mini bottle I got from the hotel. Every bottle had different story and place to tell. White sands, rock sand, coloured sand, fine sand, black volcanic sand to bottle full of tiny shell from a shell beach. I stop collecting them long time ago, because my friend suggest to me to collect underwater sand, which I did, once. I would only take a very small amount of it and dry it before putting it into bottle. But then again, we learned how precious is underwater macro life, how tiny are every creature, so I stop my sand collecting, under or in the shore.

I still have sea shell though, some particular beach are full of seashells, colourful and nicely shape seashell. Altamar Phillippine has a white beach like that, what i did was just park my butt somewhere on the beach and pick them around me without effort. Or laying on the hammock and let my hand drop and scoop them up. I planned to make a nice book marks for my colleagues., but then, eh.. time flies..

Some sea shells can make very nice necklace or bracellet. It's not glamourous bling bling jewelry, but it's sure one of the kind and exotic, especially if you got it from someone who made it with you in mind. : )

So, I also had this small bag of sea shell, brought it to office yesterday for my colleague who has a lot of indoor plants; air plants and water plants. He would put it in a used cookies plastic container, and decorates it with rocks (and now sea shells) and plants. It creates a nice green green environment in office.

Toys, I have hundreds of toys. From soft toys, board games, real toys to those I got from Kinder chocolate and McDonalds. Yes, I can ve victim of Happy Meals. Some of their toys are nice, like the one we built into a big ship from 4 parts. Each part is playable on its own. I just don't like the characters of McDonalds. WTC (What the crap...) a clown (yaiks!), a burglar (!), a chicken (!) and potatoo?
Nevermind, don't let me start on that.

I also have a nice big punching bag with Donald Duck faces standing in fighting position. I love all inflatable stuff (eits!), I mean chair, baloon, inflatable children pool for my nephews etc etc.

But these toys have to go, not because I don't like them but I think some kids will like them better. So I packed them all nicely in ziplog bags, and give them away. Many other things (real junk!) or hardly used stuff visited dust bin. Clothings and other useable stuff in good conditions will find way to those who need it.

In this modern time, we might be able to backup the memory with online journals and albums, thanks to that, but anyhow, everyone would always have a storeroom full of stuffs to be cleared once in a while.

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.

Junk is not, like alcohol or weed, a means to increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a kick. It is a way of life.
- William S. Burroughs

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

Lonely Planet Bluelist:The Best In Asia - Sucks!

2008-11-16T23:35:00.004+08:00

That day I was watching Lonely Planet Bluelist: The Best In Asia, it’s in Singapore, well, only main English speaking channel.

Anyway, the advertisement of that program intrigued me when I saw it, because they are using underwater footage as part of the ad. The best diving sites in the world are in Asia, all located within these three triangle: Indonesia, Phillippine and Malaysia. Their positions in the world globe, equator, current, tide etc make them the best with the most diversity and pleasant water temperature.

I didn’t purposely catch the program, when switching between channels, they were visiting Bali for diving, of course, I stopped to watch, especially when they visited Menjangan, the previous dive site we went in 2005. Menjangan is a beautiful place with beautiful underwater life, blue, colorful, pretty, they have great reef and various macro lives, and also slave boat wreck. The surface interval was also special in the land full of deer, or Menjangan in Indonesian.

However, I was very disappointed with the show. Just for your information, I didn’t start my impression objectively, because I always envy people who are being paid for travel. Argh..See, we work hard to have money to chill out and travel once in a while. They travel all the time, everything paid, and on top of that, they are being paid to do so. Why on earth..? But people always say that too much of good things are also not good. My view is, people who say so are simply jealous and try to cheer themselves up. Hm…personally I don’t mind too much of good thing, who in the right mind does?? ;p

So, I’m disspaointed with the show. It’s supposed to give viewer the impression of the dive sites. So this host went to dive in Menjangan with one of the people we actually know personally in Bali, we just met him again during our trip last month. He is the pioneer of coral reef conservation in Bali. Artificial reef, cracking down cyanide fishing and helping out fisherman who endanger their lives by diving with tyre compressor which cause poisoning and paralysis. He is quite a dominant name in Bali scuba diving industry.

The thing is, the host sounds so ‘blur’ in diving. She practically ‘swimming’ under water, saw the hands swing everywhere for buoyancy, and her commentary was like ‘this is wonderful, nice, beautiful' I guess it’s just right if audience expect more in depth comments than that, maybe something more specific about the dive site or diving instead of general comment we can use for any hot guy or hot girl or hot dog in the street.

If that can actually pass, there was another thing that is really really disappointing, she actually said ‘oxygen tank’ for the very tank that she and other divers breathed. It’s very usual that non-diver thought or make remarks that we are using oxygen tank, but it’s unacceptable for divers to say so. When we breathe oxygen, that means we are in trouble, fighting for our life or survival when we had some incident or decompression illness. There are many mixes of gases for different type of diving and depth, but in the tank for recreational diver, we breathe air, just like what we have on the land, 21% Oxygen and 79% Nitrogen. It’s just being compressed. We hope we don’t get to feel the oxygen because it literally means trouble.

So it’s bad. Come on, it’s Lonely Planet, world-class brand, millions of people actually refer to their brand for travelling etc. And you are being paid for it……!
Huhhhhh……

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
- Peter De Vries

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.
- Richard Nixon

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
- Dan Spencer

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx

Tulamben, Bali (24-29 October 2008)

2008-11-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

Tulamben, Bali (24-29 October 2008)

Link:

http://apingpingaa-balioctober2008.blogspot.com/

or click the link on the right side..

Cheers,
Ping

Sepatu Butut

2008-11-09T00:37:00.003+08:00

Gue banyak sepatu butut. Sekarang sih udah mendingan, dulu saking parahnya kondisi sepatu gue ampe temen gue nawarin buangin, padahal itu sepatu kerja gue satu2nya. Sepatu itu ceritanya udah bolong bawahnya, jadi kalo nginjak aer, kebanjiran. Masalahnya gue suka banget sepatunya karena enak dipakai, dan buat dapet sepatu yang gue suka itu susah buanget. Ada pula sepatu yang lapisan dasarnya udah copot, dilem, copot lagi, dilem lagi copot lagi ampe artinya dilempar. Biasanya gue gak tega buang sepatu gue sendiri, jadi minta orang buangin.

Sepatu casual gue yang terakhir juga udah copot solnya, alias kelewer2 kayak buaya. Udah cukup banyak toko2 hardware dimall gue masukin tapi gak nemu yang namanya lem sepatu yang pake kalengan, kalo gak salah dulu gue pernah denger jualan lem sepatu kaleng ini banyak syaratnya soalnya anak-anak remaja sini suka high nyium lem gituan, murah meriah. Cuman kesel aja, gila, nyari lem sepatu kayak nyari martabak keju atau cerita fiksi. Ada toko2 hardware yang lengkap dan masih jaman dulu, tapi letaknya jauh di Lavender dimana kita kudu jalan, diantara toko2 army dan barang2 diving, buat kesananya juga kudu jalan, dan cuman Sabtu karena hari biasa udah tutup pas pulang kantor.

Akhirnya gue lem juga sepatunya pake power glue. Gua masih punya sepatu laen jadi gue gak terlalu khawatir.

Kebetulan banget, kemaren temen gue yang disini kirimin artiket tentang sumbangan, ceritanya himbauan buat menyumbangkan sepatu buat anak2 sekolah disini. Katanya masih banyak anak sekolah sini yang gak punya sepatu yang nyaman. Sementara standard siswa disini, tiap tahun mereka dapet sepatu baru, jadi mari menyumbangkan sepatu baru atau duit buat beli sepatu baru buat mereka, biar bisa membantu membangun keyakinan diri mereka.

Gue kayak…Eh…tai macam apa…(maksud gue mau ngomong, what the crap..), sementara sumbangan2 laen buat dapet dana nyekolahin anak2, beli buku, vaksinasi atau bakal buat makan dan obat2an. Harga satu sepatu sekolah bata cukup kali buat bayarin uang sekolah anak dipelosok Indonesia sekitar setengah tahun. Pokoknya habis temen gue kata2in. Sementara sepatu gue juga dodol, perasaan dulu pas sekolah sepatu gue awet ampe copot atau paling enggak bisa bertahan 5 tahun, atau dulu pas bokap gue pake plastic kresek sebagai pengganti tas, atau gue pake tas president brodol bekas punya tetangga yang kebuka dan keluar semua isi tasnya pas dilanding tangga, atau pake rok yang pinggangnya dari karet biar pas gue gedean atau lebaran masih bisa dipake. Apa-apan suruh gue nyumbang, harus sepatu baru, biar membantu keyakinan diri? Bakal jadi apa tuh anak kalo gak punya sepatu baru aja gak pede?

Haha,..pokoknya habis messengernya, dia jadi kelabakan, ha..kaget karena gue yang biasanya baek hati…(achoooo!)...tiba2 jadi kejam, salah topik sih loe…!

Sekarang biarin gue dan sepatu butut gue menyendiri. Huh ;p

If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out.
- Craig Bruce

Who will wear a shoe that hurts him, because the shoe-maker tells him 'tis well made?
- Algernon Sydney

A shoe that is too large is apt to trip one, and when too small, to pinch the feet. So it is with those whose fortune does not suit them.
- Horace

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung

So now I'm left with cigarettes, and I'm trying to scrape that off my shoe and then I'll be done.
- Diane Lane

Touristy Weekend

2008-10-22T22:57:00.003+08:00

19 & 21th September 2008

On this particular weekend, I got the privilege to borrow a company membership card which enable me to go to various attractions in Singapore for free, for a limited number of people. My colleague happened to borrow two cards, entitled to six people, and I got to use it on Friday and Sunday.

Friday night, I thought I had to skip the outing as I was helping my other colleagues preparing props for Halloween. My original plan was to stay late that night, but since almost everybody went home already, I thought I should too. (you should see my work place at night! Can’t beat my university though..) The idea of staying late without company in the workshop inside ‘jungle doing scary things with many scary stories around, well…uhm….not so appealing compared to meeting my husband, my brother and my our friends to have chili crab dinner (How could I chose the other over this one on the first place?).

That Friday night, we went to Night Safari. Brother and family split up, since my group is more into taking pictures. It’s extremely difficult to take good pictures at night without using flash. So I hung up my camera and just enjoyed seeing the animals. Hubby and friend trying t get good pictures. With the energy we got from the very complete dinner; chilly crab, barbeque sting ray, satay, briyani rice, honey chicken wings, and gigantic cup of fruit juices, staff discount can do wonder and increase buying power of course, we stayed until pass midnight, until we were kicked out from the park because they were closing.

Sunday, we met up again around 10.30 in the morning and begun our ‘tourist day’, starting from Sentosa. It was easier to go around with car, we could maximize our time to visit various destinations.

Sentosa, first stop was Butterfly and Insect kingdom. We used to think that the insects are s all dead, apparently, the butterflies are alive. There are inside a small aviary, except the usual ones we always see in the zoo, there were few other types, although it was not easy to take their pictures. For the insect it was all dead, although it’s not fascinating to see them being pinned to the wall, the variety and types are amazing, we could never see them all in the wild. At the end of the exhibit, we met one friendly keeper who let us touch and hold the gigantic stick insect and let the scorpion run through our hands and faces while he shared his knowledge about the insect conservation program we have in Singapore.

Nearby, we decide to catch 4D Magix the pirate movie., it cost sixteen bucks on usual day so we wouldn’t want to miss it. The movie was quite fun about a group of pirates, we could experience water, sounds and winds but it was definitely not worth it if we had to pay the ticket.

Third stop, we went to the luge and skyride. It was the first time I rodea luge, a small ‘vehicle where you just sit inside and pull the handle if you want to break. The vehicle is very simple, a flat surface for sitting and a handle, I think that’s about it. We got to wear helmet. The track is a sloping down with twist sand turns, like racing track. If we never break, it would go very fast because of the slope. One person in front of us was very slow. Hubby and friend overtook her, but I was stuck because of the narrow passageway cause by barrier with word “SLOW’.. Cheeee’’’ When finally clear from the passageway, I couldn’t see them already.
To be honest, I didn’t go full speed. Somehow, it was a bit scary because of other people around. It was fun though with the sliding left and right, but it was too short.

Going back we had to take the skyride, up above the tree with our feet dangling on the mid air. That was why friend’s wife skipped; she was not comfortable with the height. The only thing to watch out is when they lower down the safety bar, if not careful, it could squeeze your thigh or worse, groin,, maha… We had to run a bit when boarding and alighting, because the sky chair doesn’t stop.

Afternoon already. we proceeded to the underwater world, but dang, the dolphin show was only an hour and the place is half an hour away, it was not located next to the underwater world as we thought. So we only had limited time there. Anyway, the underwater world here is not fantastic, quite disappointing instead. The exhibit that we looked forward to, the sea dragon, was under renovation Grmbl…although nevertheless, the eagle ray, clown fish, harlequin shrimp and rhinopias made me soooo miss them in the wild.

After making a round, we proceed to the Dolphin Lagoon or Dolphin Discovery, I can’t remember which. That was the first time I see pink dolphin in person, eh, in fish. It’s the same with bottlenose dolphin, just that they have pinky patches color, it’s unique, but don’t imagine pink solid color, not like that.

Basically, for dolphin show, you’ve seen one, you’ve seen all. Maybe. Jumping, reversing, playing with ball and human interaction. But it’s nice to see the smily mammals. That’s the substitute of not being able to see them in the wild.
We took a scenic ride with cable car to Mount Faber and back. From top, we could see the development of of Sentosa Integrated Resort.

There will be greater grief because in the plan, they are going to display whale shark, like aquarium in Osaka, so I heard. But whale shark is such a big fish that need spacious space, plankton diet and.. the wild! We can’t just confine them in the aquarium. From what I heard, they have to keep replacing the whale shark in Osaka because it dies. And to fit to the tank, the put juvenile. So they keep harvesting ‘kiddy’ whale shark, who will never grow up and replenish their species in the wild. Huh..

After Sentosa, we went to have dinner in our friend’s favorite food court. It was cheap and good. Since we were so hungry, we ate a lot and couldn’t move for a while. We then proceed to Singapore Flyer passing through the F1 track, it was a week to F1. The streets were so bright it was brighter than day time.

After going around for a while to search for ticketing counter, it was frankly not easy, we went up for the ride at the flyer. It was gigantic; the capsule itself is almost the size of the bus. The structure was quite impressive. I heard it was going to be a boring ride for half an hour. But four of us were busy taking picture of the city line and the F1 track that we didn’t feel the length of the time. The skyline was nice from the top, we could see all the city light glimmering below, it was the advantage of taking the ride at night. We could see the grandstand for F1 and some activity were going on inside to prepare for the race.

Overall, it was a fruitful day. We would have to pay more than 100 bucks per person of not for the membership card my colleague lent me. It’s expensive to go around Siangpore, to enjoy its attraction. Worth it? Depends on who and whom. I would think that tourist will spend more willingly on attraction. For us, perhaps we will go to some, but not in one day or in a rush. I can think of other things better to do with over a hundred bucks, many many things ;p….

Macau-HK : The Tale of One of The Kind Fellow

2008-10-22T22:11:00.001+08:00

6-13 September 2008

http://places-aping.blogspot.com/

Cheers,
Ping

F1

2008-10-05T13:04:00.004+08:00

I have proof many times that it’s not good to play with karma. Sometimes I laugh at silliness of people but occasionally I found myself doing it. For example, I used to laugh at people who stay in my area. Well, it’s about halfway out of nowhere. From commuter wise, it’s either a choice to board earlier where there are still high possibility to get seats, or to board later, when you don’t need to stand too long to the workplace. But then, we are staying here.

The karma that I faced for the weekend that just passed, I was laughing at F1, who on earth wants to go to the town during F1 period. As you might have guessed, I did. Although I’m not as stupid as those who are going on the Sunday, the peak of the race. Hihi….

So this is the first Grand Prix that Singapore hosts, and the first night race. They erect barriers and lights along where the track would be, for few months to a year we saw the progress. Actually, just last week, we still circling around the circuit in friend’s car and took the opportunity to boast that we had been driving around the track also. It had been lighted up and it was so called three times brighter than day light, reason being to eliminate the shadow of the road as it could be dangerous for the drivers. Even so, last week, everything looked not so ready to take off last Friday. Earlier last week then they started the roadblock, and it creates ho ha and multiple jams.

Well, in here, previously, Grand Prix is not welcome excitedly by many of Singaporeans. It was maybe just a bit of shock that the government suddenly took extreme change in tourism. What used to be loathed, like when they announced about opening up casinos, and about two years ago, they announced about Grand Prix. It felt much more that they are trying to become Macau before other country in the region. Another reason is that, there were not so many fans of F1 in Singapore. Hell, I hardly ever seen racing program in TV, or never. All they are crazy about is English football, Manchester, Chelsea, Liverpool, others sports like NBA don’t have a lot of chances. Since the news was announced that Singapore was going to host F1, the excitement was only so-so, except for those diehard fans. Up to few weeks before the event, there are up and downs of rumors in the market. One rumor says that F1 was picking up, ticket bought earlier were sold wit handsome profit and the price was still climbing up. Another rumor was ticket was going down, there are still many hotels along the F1 stretch that had a lot of vacancy.

The first road block also didn’t come in favorable, it created jams and flows of complaints in newspaper. But then again, to be fair, Singaporean complaints about almost everything.

For us, we didn’t try to get involved because partly we were not aware about what can we do, the other ore valid reason is of course, the cost of the ticket can easily give us a weekend of diving or more, Bottom line, we skipped. Anyway, hubby got a free Friday ticket from a friend, so he went down to catch the practice round. He came back with surprising news, that it was not as crowded as we expected, even the train back home was quite empty, and there was a stretch of street near the ticketing booth where people can actually watch without having to get into inside the paying area.

On Saturday, we had the paintball appointment with his colleagues. But because of unclear info, we went to the wrong paintball site, then we decided to cancel the paintball and head for town for me to catch a glimpse of F1.

This time they are smart and stingy. Everywhere along the track was covered with those opaque dark cloth, even the one exposed the day before. We found a spot where we could see through a transparent sheet. Even though I agree that it’s much more clearer to watch in TV, the feeling of actually being there was completely different. The sound was so deafening, so loud and exciting, stood there for ten minutes I felt almost nauseous, for a longer period of time, earplug is highly significant for the health. I had never seen anything move as fast as the car, literally, it disappear within an eye blink, well, I actually tested that.

ON the race day itself on Sunday, we watched through TV and it was a final full of twists and turns. Ferrari mishap, and Alonso turn of luck.

Ah well, I guess I have just gain a new interest.

Hubby's Pics:

Okay..

2008-09-24T13:18:00.001+08:00

Okay….
I have been feeling guilty I haven’t been backing up my brain often lately. Thing comes and goes, drafts written and forgotten. While I had a lot of time waiting for computer rendering in my previous job, new job, I don’t have the idle time to write. So, I only write on the bus, then pile up the files but never really edit and post it. Aiii…
When I reach home all I want to do is relax…
Not only my backup is suffering, my assignment too.

Yesterday morning I threw away two Snickers bars from my chocolate box. It’s kind of pity to see because Snickers holds special place in my memory.
Back then in Batam, when snack was luxury and surviving for the next pay check was a challenge. I remember a friend of mine bought Snickers and we all shared it. It was probably the first time I taste so-called more premium chocolate and it was good. First time we were able to save, that was the thing I buy, even though I’m not a big fan of chocolate. I still mentioned nowadays, how different things are, now it’s not a life changing situation to afford a Snickers.
So, this China food scare put the Snickers for our rainy hungry afternoon snack to the bin.

Anyho, nowadays it’s difficult to tell poison to food. What is safe to consume now? Pesticide, tapeworm, madcow, madbird, boraks (sp?) , and now..plastic?
Huh….

Okay, I don’t like this subject. So I’ll stop and promise myself to backup my brain at least once a week.

We can never trust plastic infested digestive system.

Shoes!!

2008-09-03T00:20:00.000+08:00

While it’s a brisk and perhaps a monthly necessity for other girl, it’s a big task for e to find shoes. I can enjoy buying sport shoes, even slipper and unusual shoes like boot style, but when it comes to ladies shoes, I will prefer to be locked in a mall full of electronic stuff I might not understand. I can spend much more time in department store’s house ware floor than shoes and bag section. That is the most depressing section or me. Either I sip it at all or I stand there in agony looking for a gift for somebody who I know, they like ladies shoes and bad. Actually, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t, aaargh.

What is up with these two things? Ladies shoes are so uncomfortable that it comes to the point I feel that it’s changing my personality when I have to wear that. Ladies bag, urgh, useless thing that clutching uncomfortably in your shoulder, about to fall but not falling, too expensive to be put thrown anywhere on the earth or too inflexible or unable to be stuffed with things other than handphone and purse. What is a bag that can only carry handphone and purse, and you have to use your hand and hold it? It doesn’t help a thing; you might as well carry you’re the stuffs without the bag.

That’s why I never voluntarily spend time in shoe ad bag department, I don’t even give it a glance unless I really have too. A lot of guys say my husband is lucky, don’t need to put up with crazy expenses men don’t really understand about why girls keep buying shoes. For others, I actually understand that women can need a lot of shoes because there are so many types and colors of it, if they can wear it, then good for them. They look nice for those who can endure. Beauty is pain, although I can’t never subscribe on that ley alone master on that, I would have die long time ago trying. So, in my opinion, hubby has his own nightmare the time comes, when I really really have to buy shoes. Ladies shoes.

He has to be the one who alert about which potentially nice buyable shoes that fit my needs. I f it’s up to me to buy, I’ll never stop for more than two minutes to look at shoes unless it’s really nice but it’s hardly happen. Let’s say, more than half a year I already have a plan to buy a shoes, a nice ladies shoes that can be wore in parties I will have for the upcoming weddings I’ll need to attend. Now, one month to go, I still haven’t really look for any. I tried few times, but it’s like waste of time and I feel bored browsing at the shoes, tried few pairs, but it’s just not my style, so it’s difficult to get excited.

I do have few ladies shoes, to be exact, three pairs with one pair just died. One is so-called my favorite because that was the only one I wear for a few times everytime I can’t get away with casual shoes. I bought this one right after my graduation. Excited, happy to embark to work life that if we see in the movie, it’s time when girls have to use make up, wear heels, skirts and dress properly. Apparently we don’t really have too, ha…. First time I wore this shoes with skirt I felt down on the side of the Thamrin busy road on the way to interview. *%@#^$ But I got to say that I had managed to walk long way, long road in between swarm of people or quiet place with that shoes too, safely and sound. It still survives until now, in fact I just wore it again for one event four months ago, and it’s on stand by in case I’m too lazy to find new one. After all, it’s the only ladies shoes ‘wearable’.

The other one, I got it from a male friend. Out of nowhere, when I graduated, he gave me this shoes. It’s a nice champagne gold colored shoes with strings and amazingly, it fits me well. This guy managed to do the most impossible task, buying a shoe that fits me and suit my taste without I even realize how and when. Too bad, I didn’t have many chance to wear it ad sadly, I think the strings are getting fragile and probably not enough to support me anymore.

My last one, is, well, my wedding shoes which I only wore for the registration of marriage. White colored, nice design, but I think it’s not comfortable, I didn’t even wear it to the wedding dinner. It still safe and sound and untouched somewhere.
So, I do need new shoes, I really need to go out there and looking for a new one, regardless how boring ad tedious it is, hopefully the wearing part is still much more bearable than the buying.

Secretly, I do have a little wish that I can start getting used to all these ladies equipment, that are pretty but painful. Let me keep trying although the ‘try’ is not maximized at all.

Beijing Olympic 2008

2008-08-24T21:41:00.001+08:00

Few months, few weeks to few days before the Olympic begins, disaster and unfortunate events came as if they had been queuing to fall on the same time, to prevent China into fulfilling their Olympic year. Politic, disease, terrorist threat, economic, social problem, even pollution and natural disasters took their turn in significant and big scale. Few had confident that the country will be able to host the Olympic well, many cross their fingers, yet many speculate and sit back to watch whatever next controversy might be happening next.

Today, the Olympic has come to the end. Despite all the controversy and discouragement that China faces, it manages to pull out a sensational Olympic that makes Asia proud. They certainly put their weight, their resources and effort into making it a successful event.

To salute all the athlete who scarification might be beyond imagination, with the warm fulfilling heart watching with pride as they make their national anthem echoing in the stadium, Olympic should always be an event where, if all else fail, be the one events all nations celebrate and gather with peace, spirit, pride and patriotism to be part of their country and part of the world.

It should never be tainted with politic, war, hatred if, ever possible.

I always turn to the sports section first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man's failures.
~Earl Warren

If only Hitler and Mussolini could have a good game of bowls once a week at Geneva, I feel that Europe would not be as troubled as it is.
~R.G. Briscow

Are You Afraid of Death?

2008-08-13T09:18:00.002+08:00

Are you afraid of death?
My friend once asked this question. To this, I answered undoubtfully, nahh…
To my surprises, there are quite a number of friends answered yes. Not afraid of the process of the suffering leading to it, but afraid to lose everything, and again, uncommon, not to material, wealth or physical existence but afraid of losing what they had gained all their life; knowledge, memories, experiences.

To me, I never think that far. I’m not afraid because once I kaput, that’s it, that’s all, shouldn’t be a burden to me at all. From a very little time I spent thinking about it, I thought if I kaput, it would be mostly by accident. Don’t know why I thought so, perhaps of my true desire to be able to enjoy life until the end. I don’t want to be weakened or driven down by sickness or to count my days off when I know it would be, I hope not.
Somehow, to put aside all the choooooi of thinking about it, maybe I would prefer if it happens when I do something that I love. Nothing to extreme, at least maybe I would have been more prepared. Maybe.

Not long ago, I never took a second look of something called insurance. Blah blah blah.., that is my impression. A talkative unstoppable annoying fellow trying to talk you into buying something that you don’t need. I’m still right about it, although I detour my impression a little bit. The agent I have now has become one of my friend, seems like not all of them are annoying, and if there are some, they are doing it for the sake of work. No harm, as long as they don’t hard sell or force sell to people who are not able to defend themselves, like senior citizens. Really, sometimes, they are far too nice and can’t persistently say no. I curse all time-share company in this world because at least on two different occasions, they tried to harass my parents. Hard selling shouldn’t exists in any strategic marketing plan at all, it undignified and low. I have learned how to piss these people back, but for many others, it can simply ruin their day or separate them from their hard-earned money outside their willingness. Damn hard-sell. Drop dead.

Back to subject, insurance is maybe not something that I always need. It’s also for something your loved-ones might need. But that depends on what kind. For those claimable after death, it’s obvious. But I have come to realize that I do need those like hospitalization, partial accident and even diving accident insurance to ease the burden of cost in case something unwanted occurs.

For almost every trip that I take, I always buy travel insurance. Putting aside my important datas to be discovered and emergency contact if needed. We even put our DAN tag on our BCDs, those who know, knows.
Kaput, I think I’m still not afraid of my own, but selfishthetically (yes this is not a word) speaking, I fear more for others. Forever, since young, I always afraid. If in car or plane with someone I care about, I can’t even sleep in peace unless I knock myself with pills. I’m almost always scared, always afraid, when I drift into sleep I would always wake up feeling that the car or plane hit something or drop from mid air. Selfishthetically, because, if I’m alone, even if the plane was rocking or the car was swerving, I might not be as scared.

I fear for others safety because I’m damn selfish, I admit. I afraid if I lose them, the suffering of remembering, the memories, the experience, the knowledge of them.
So I think I can relate to what my friend said about fearing of death, in much much more selfish way.

- It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done easily as lying down.
- Woody Allen

The one who goes is happier,
Than those he leaves behind.
- Edward Pollock

Sunrise at East Coast

2008-08-09T23:02:00.004+08:00

This year National Day, we joined Alan and Dor for quite a different activities. To stay up all night and go around Singapore. Something we found might be interesting and different.

Started at 9.45pm Friday night, we went together to his ex-poly. The facilities there is quite mouth watering; sizeable swimming pool, tennis court, activities halls, karaoke and mahjong room,and their own bowling alleys. It’s explainable because the place closes to student at night and opens itself to members. Those facilities are all new aka they weren’t there during our friend’s study time. I think it would be really good to study with those facilities, but then again, I remember my own uni which I still prefer..! Maybe it was down to earth, but who else in the world have lakes, stadiums, gigantic jogging tracks, trees to climb, grasses to lie down to while listening to music made by the wind and the bamboo? Nahhhhh… that is still the best possible place where I like to spend my study years.

We went around the campus for a while. Around 11pm, we already reached Jurong Point although we still had some time before we caught the midnight show, first in the list of the itinerary . In some point I was wondering why I felt tired even before the program started. No need rocket scientist, I forget that it was actually suppose to be the end of my whole long day. No wonder!

We watched Journey To The Centre of The Earth, too bad, they didn’t show it in 3d here. Otherwise it should be interesting. We just sat back and enjoy the show.

Around 2am, we headed for our destination to Jurong Fishery Farm/Port. It was a market plus the port for new incoming seafood where for wholesale and individual purchases. I must say I prefer to see all those fish in the sea. They have regular fish but there are also others, I hope it’s they were accidentally caught, because there was only a few or even one or two of those; barramundi cod, napoleon wrasse (baby size), guitar shark, hammerhead (baby size). Sniff…

Other than that, it also quite heartbreaking to see hundreds of stingray piled together. I just wanted to imagine seeing the big school of them in the sea and how glorious it would be. If this is how much that people consume every day, times all the fishery in the world, soon the sea would be devastated. There might be more fish there compared to all the fish we had seen diving for four years.

Leaving earlier, we headed to Four Season 24 hours Durian Cafetaria. Although we can find durian all year long in Singapore, this is the seaon. We were half sleepy and dozed off in the bus here and there. But we woke up when we decided to try the king of all durians. We got special rate but even so, it’s still expensive. The durian was called Cat Mountain King, cost us 40 bucks. Earlier in the week, my colleague told me about this approx 50 bucks durian and I was like, what is so good about this durian to fetch the ridiculous price? So now there was the moment of truth.

The durian was very fragrant, the flesh is cream yellow color with very very thin seed. The seeds were all irregular and soft. How do I describe the taste.. it was rich, creamy and delicious. I think it deserves the reputation. Maybe it was us, but this durian behaved well, it didn’t leave our finger stink or left un comfortable taste in the mouth. Wow, I guess it just spoiled the standard of all durian for us, ever.

Leaving the durian café, we had light dimsum and ‘dawn tea’ in Hong Kong restaurant nearby. It was almost dawn around 5 am.

Reaching East Coast Park, we walked to the jetty and set our position there. Highlight of the night, sunrise! The semi dark sky and the warm sea breeze was gorgeous in the morning. Like the instant greeting from the sea, it’s how we missed it. Along the pier and the beach, there were tents and fishing poles. There were many joggers or families or friends enjoying the activities there. Nice, peaceful and romantic, I didn’t know there are actually many people here who enjoy early morning dose of fresh air.

Uncommon here, there were stars on the sky and we were hopeful for the good sunrise.

The sun rose around 6.30, we practically spent around two hours wondering around our spots, no camera for me, so our hubbies busy catching good shots while me and Dor just relaxing on the bench and enjoying the ambience. The sky was then filled with cloud and we only managed to catch the orange gloomy sky. Nevertheless, it was still beautiful sight and we had good time.

Around 7+, we went back to campus and reached home 8+.

We were happy that we managed to stay up through the night, something that we doubtfully thought we would able to do so. Well, we are all pass our sleepless night at school and we are not night owls…ha…

But not to laugh to fast, the sleepless night really took its toll on us.

Dropped to the bed near 9am..we only woke up..errr…. at 5+… in… the… afternoon…

We basically don’t know what happen, the six hours of our lives were disappeared just like that!

Poor Froggy Frog N Fish

2008-08-05T23:31:00.001+08:00

Last week, I just had D & D (Dinner & Dance) in my new company. It was time to see people I had never seen before. Problem is, it was done on Monday night, because we have to fit into the schedule of those VVIP. The venue was far far away and there was a serious threat that the allocated busses might not be enough, my new colleague offered to give me a ride. The other two from my department went earlier because they were involved in the committee/program.

It was the first time I rode motorbike in Singapore., I must say it was quite fun to see the town in different light. Old shop houses, ongoing F1 track, and places I had never seen before, and I love it when the wind hit my face, although my eyes were full with rocks. Rocks, yes, it was so big that it needed more than a few blink to get them out, but it didn’t matter.

The D & D itself was quite enjoyable, beside the prizes we got from sponsor, the MC that night was funny and entertaining. This company of mine definitely has a lot of shameless people. I mean, those good sport who were willing to’ perform’ and be fooled on stage. Hell yes, even though they didn’t have their chances on the stage, they did their own backup dancing behind. Maybe that is what animal spirit we got from the contagious working environment. What to say, when I left half an hour to midnight, the party was almost just started for some. I had to be like Cinderella to leave before midnight to catch my train. There is no taxi in my dictionary, I mean, no Singapore taxi in my dictionary, if I can prevent it with all my will. Again, my nice new friend saved the day.

I mentioned about prizes from sponsor, some prizes are quite cool like cold hard cash but to avoid ‘bribery’ it was converted into vouchers, which I’m lucky enough to get some. It was 50% chance but even so, I’m not normally ‘lucky’. But..Wohoo! $100 voucher, it must be the best lucky draw prize I ever had, and it’s considered only consolation prize. Some other prizes are short getaway trip or some electronic devices. I’m not talking about prize for the sake of talking, because of a prize, we killed four lives today. Four!

The story is, one of the prize we sort of wondering what is the wonder is, a fish tank completed with light, water filter and 8 tiny goldfish. It was given to my new colleague because the winner didn’t really fancy it. However, we were told that we can’t keep fish tank which can consume electricity yadda yadda in the office. Another option was to have hamster, but we dismissed it afraid that it would be too extreme, and anyway, I don’t want hamster. Its lifespan is really short, and when they fall sick, vet normally gave up on them because it’s too difficult to do anything major to their tiny body. It was fun but traumatic for me.

Since there is a way out to house the fish, we settled for empty tank. So, we decided on an option., to have a frog tank.

Fish freaks me out when they are dead in fish tank, especially those with significant sizes, other than that, except house lizard, I practically quite okay about everything. And it would be nice to have frog tank with nice habitat for us to share keep-up duties etc. It would sort of become mascot of our department. ;p

In front of my office there is a big pond, we can always see frog there. Everytime I take my husband or like last Saturday, take our friends to visit the zoo, we always dropped by to take macro shots of the frogs etc. We can find things like dragonfly, tortoise there also. Except that, we had other small ponds with a lot of tadpoles and fish. So after lunch, there of us minus the boss went to look for stuff we can put as the start of our Frog tank. We just set up the tank and it looked very good, so we wanted to create the landscape.

We squatted around the ponds in midday sunlight like school children to look for fish and frogs. We found a yellow ladybug, too bad it was dead.

I can’t remember how, one thing led to another, instead of just bringing two tiny water hyacinth, we also brought back a bunch of rocks, two tiny fish and two tiny tadpoles. Off they went into the tank, to cut the long story short, they were dead within three hours, except the water hyacinth and of course the rocks.

I feel really2 bad that it happened, we did think to let the water settled down first, but never did we expect that the chemical of the water could be that deadly, and we drink it every day…!

Fortunately for me, I missed the farewell because I was outside the office. When I got back, the tank was lifeless again.

Bottom of the line, …..sigh…!

Smart Card?

2008-07-24T17:03:00.001+08:00

I have one favorite little toy shop here. It sells wooden toys, mini weird toys and those puzzles like brain teaser type of toys etc.

Last time I went there, I bought a plastic key with a key hole attached to it. The point is how to make detach and attach the two parts, it’s like three dimensional puzzle, so called. Other than that, we also bought stress detector..whoa…sounds so serious. I’m a very easily amazed with ‘smart stuff’ thingy. This thing is just a card size; actually a card with a small little window to put the thumb for 10 seconds and then the color will appear. Black, red, green, blue represent Stressed, Tense, Normal and Calm. The color did come out! I got a blue so I was so happy, I don’t think I have ever been ‘calm’ before. I’m a stressful kind of restless person or so I thought. If I have problem, I can’t stop worrying until the problem is gone or the person who give me the problem is dead. Kidding…because it won’t be over, then I would worry she/he comes back to haunt me! So I think I’m not a calm person unless when I am under medication or just wake up from long afternoon nap, that’s why I try not to take afternoon nap again. It makes me feel stupid.

Anyway, flattered, I bought the card because it’s amazing. Hey, a $1.90 can read my mood…! I should put it in the office if one day I collapse on the table with one hand holding the card with black color window. Eng ing eng…
The card even have the information that sounds prof “When stressed your blood is drawn inward causing cold hands, and the card will register black”, then follow by one whole long list of how to calm your self. Sound shiokk right….

Today I confirm that the @*(^$ can only detect according to temperature of the thumb, specifically. Since office aircon blows directly on top of my head, my fingers are always cold, so I always get black color even when I feel heavenly aka calllm..
Or when I’m stressed after running here and there for a million problem, I get the blue sign.
So it’s bluff, bluff, bluff…

One day..,one day,.. all those fancy science smart product will come out accurately…