Breaking up and broken hearted is never easy.
One of my friends is trying to avoid or prepare for that. But I guess one can never be prepared if they care about the relationship and the other person.
As a friend, I suppose to offer words of comfort, encouragement and approval. I can do the first two, but for the third one I can’t.
When a person shares the story about their relationship, they are looking at it from ONE perspective. He was confused about why she changes so sudden, why she treats him that way and why women are so mean. Nobody can judge what and who is right or wrong because nobody is in the same shoes with the couple. I’m not him, I’m not her. But perhaps I can also give them another point of view, something a sad person can’t see, something I might be able to share.
My friend is a cheerful person, but these two months he has been a skywatcher. Quiet, sad and instead of disturbing me watching the sky he joined me. That is unusual, that is like I suddenly fond to watch people throwing up.
The problem he has in his relationship is coincidentally similar with mine in the past. Actually, many many relationships have similar problem like this. The difference is I’m on the other side of the fence. It’s not easy to tell a friend, to play devil’s advocate that I’ve been in similar position with a person on the edge of his hatred. But I guess as a real friend, I’m not there only to agree with his point of view if I can offer some other reasons that he might need but not able to see. He’ll be the one who decides.
But, thank God, good men are from Mars, they are more reasonable and objective (I don’t read the book, I think that’s what the book is talking about?!). So he can see my points really well and can connect to it good. What matter is, it probably can gives him some way to band-aid the relationship, remedy or if everything else fails, hopefully it can be something to take note in the future.
Maybe the most difficult things in the world for a human to handle is relationship. It can make or break a person, it can leave everlasting scar, it can put smile on your face, it can be strong, it can be fragile, it has to withstand enormous amount of doubts, jealousy, uncertainty, temptations and challenges.
But still many people gamble and willing to suffer for that.
So it should be something worth it.
.
Love is the wisdom of the fools and the folly of the wise.
- Samuel Johnson
Quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side.
- Francois, Duc De La Rochefoucauld
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.
- The Talmud
We live in feelings, not in figures on a sundial. We should count time in heartbeats.
- Aristotle
Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods.
- Plato
No man is born hating another person.. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
- Nelson Mandela
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Nightmares
If I had nightmare, normally it’s something similar. I can categorize them into few types.
1. The one with the public toilet.
In my dream I would need to pee real bad. There are always a lot of toilets. But the toilets are those built with basic materials, like cement screed or mosaic, the one used in olden days, and worse, the toilet either have no doors, no walls, have way too big windows or dirty. It would get me frustrated searching for the right one. And sometimes when I found it, there are another problem. For example, I would find one in the corner, it looks private but then I realize it doesn’t have wall on the back.
It would be my restless dream.
Maybe to connect it to my real life, I had experiences dealing with all kind of toilets before.
Stone toilet or wooden toilet, yeah, we still can find it in my hometown until now. So the ‘toilet bowl’ would be something endless you can’t see the bottom. The squatting parts are either made of two planks of wood or two blocks of stones.
Toilet built above the sea where fish are gathering below, it’s common in Thousand Islands. Went there few times for social work, lucky, they have normal toilet for us. I still can’t imagine how is it feels like looking at hungry fish below. Argh.
Toilet built with plastic sheets with half a meter high. I used that. Please notice my writing is trembling.
Toilet with no door. I can understand when I saw this kind in village chief’s house in Thousand Island. The only house with private toilet, yet no privacy. But I found it in an cottage in Malang, East Java. Holding a towel facing the door while trying to shower is one task too many. Door is good. Door is good!
Toilet with mess. This is so argh. It normally happen in the mountain posts. Before people went up to climd, or in natural holiday destination, sometimes there are toilets, with mess from previous users. Argh. I’m not proud to say I managed to hold it back. Back. Back. Back.
And here it comes. Natural toilet. No matter how I love nature, I still can’t do this one. So if we go for expedition and mountaineering in the jungle or mountain, one thing is confirm. No toilet. What we, eh, they do is using the big rusty knife, called golok or parang in Indonesia, they dig holes and do business and bury it back. That for big business. Small business can go just anywhere. What I do, I have a very big secret. Great one. I have to believe it and wonderfully it works. During the expedition, I will carry stone in my pocket. Solid stone. Small one will do. Some people tell me it will prevent you from feeling wanting to ‘do’. Ha.. longer expedition, I would carry bigger stone. Kekeke.
For small business, it’s quite easy, although we actually don’t do that often, because with activities, we perspired, even in very cold mountain.
So probably, I do have certain fear of toilets with lack privacy and basic comfort.
2. Being late. Out of time. A lot of things to prepare.
This one maybe self explanatory. I always afraid about last minute, being late and still have a lot of things to do.
When I was young, when we wanted to go picnic. I was late and the ribbon in my dress haven’t been tied yet. (Back then, we have ribbon around the waist tied on the back). My brother was making fun of me, saying they would leave me. And all of them had got in the car outside the road. My dad was tying the ribbon, but I was trying to get away and asked him to hurry because I didn’t want to be left out. W
eird, I remember the incident vividly. Kids are easily traumatized I suppose.
3. Scary fish.
Normally, there would be big water body. A pond or a tub of maybe river or lake, although hardly, sometimes sea shores. The similarity, the water would be grayish or brownish. Mucky and not clear. And there would be fish inside. Big fish, all ugly type, grey color, ridiculously big in big number, or small but in bigger number. They would crowd the water and sometimes they jump or exposed because there is not enough space or they can ‘reach’ me. And the fish would be smelly. Fishy. Some would flipping on the floor dying. Yuck.
I hate it when I dream like that. I still terrified if I look at aquarium that is not properly maintained or sad horrible fish tank in restaurant or supermarket.
Maybe it have something to do with my past too. We used to have a lot of fish in the home, or sometimes my crazy cousin put fish in the tub. Once, a one and a half meter Arwana the dragon fish, jumped out and flipped like mad. The other time, he put a lot of small fish, and when the water was full enough, the fish jumped out and flipped on the floor. Freakish. Hiy.
But my latest dream of scary fish few days ago had some improvement. Maybe because it was not the same. It was in the sea shore, brownish water. I was preparing to dive in it, but hesitated. When I put my head to peek inside the water, I see.. what to call it in English? Mas koki, the fat fish with big popping eyes and nice tail. Normally they are aquarium size but these ones are one two meter size. At least it was not so terrifying, because the number are not too much in my dream and they were swimming happily.
Those are three type of nightmares that I subscribe to. Whenever I had those dreams, I know that Here it comes again. But I panic in the dream and had restless sleep. Dodol.
But last night I had another horrible dream. I dream every night, everytime I fall asleep, so I always dream and normally I will remember. Sometimes it affects me for a while.
I dreamt I was in a nice place and sitting on the beach with my friends and my husband, looking at the nice sky and sunset. Then all of the sudden a very very high wave came to us. The water was dark brown. Everyone was shouting Tsunami..! Some ran, some stunned. We managed to go to the second storey but that was it. The highest point. Higher but far far away, was a rocky mountain. Which I still managed to think that, if only I was as fit as I used to be. Cape.
Horrible dream.
A thing is not necessarily false because it is badly expressed, nor true because it is expressed manificently.
- St Augustine of Hippo, North Africa
Agenda for today: breathe out, breath in, breathe out.
- The Buddha, India
It is within our power not to make a judgement about something, and so not disturb our mind; for nothing in itself posseses the power to form our judgements.
- Marcus Aurellius, Rome
1. The one with the public toilet.
In my dream I would need to pee real bad. There are always a lot of toilets. But the toilets are those built with basic materials, like cement screed or mosaic, the one used in olden days, and worse, the toilet either have no doors, no walls, have way too big windows or dirty. It would get me frustrated searching for the right one. And sometimes when I found it, there are another problem. For example, I would find one in the corner, it looks private but then I realize it doesn’t have wall on the back.
It would be my restless dream.
Maybe to connect it to my real life, I had experiences dealing with all kind of toilets before.
Stone toilet or wooden toilet, yeah, we still can find it in my hometown until now. So the ‘toilet bowl’ would be something endless you can’t see the bottom. The squatting parts are either made of two planks of wood or two blocks of stones.
Toilet built above the sea where fish are gathering below, it’s common in Thousand Islands. Went there few times for social work, lucky, they have normal toilet for us. I still can’t imagine how is it feels like looking at hungry fish below. Argh.
Toilet built with plastic sheets with half a meter high. I used that. Please notice my writing is trembling.
Toilet with no door. I can understand when I saw this kind in village chief’s house in Thousand Island. The only house with private toilet, yet no privacy. But I found it in an cottage in Malang, East Java. Holding a towel facing the door while trying to shower is one task too many. Door is good. Door is good!
Toilet with mess. This is so argh. It normally happen in the mountain posts. Before people went up to climd, or in natural holiday destination, sometimes there are toilets, with mess from previous users. Argh. I’m not proud to say I managed to hold it back. Back. Back. Back.
And here it comes. Natural toilet. No matter how I love nature, I still can’t do this one. So if we go for expedition and mountaineering in the jungle or mountain, one thing is confirm. No toilet. What we, eh, they do is using the big rusty knife, called golok or parang in Indonesia, they dig holes and do business and bury it back. That for big business. Small business can go just anywhere. What I do, I have a very big secret. Great one. I have to believe it and wonderfully it works. During the expedition, I will carry stone in my pocket. Solid stone. Small one will do. Some people tell me it will prevent you from feeling wanting to ‘do’. Ha.. longer expedition, I would carry bigger stone. Kekeke.
For small business, it’s quite easy, although we actually don’t do that often, because with activities, we perspired, even in very cold mountain.
So probably, I do have certain fear of toilets with lack privacy and basic comfort.
2. Being late. Out of time. A lot of things to prepare.
This one maybe self explanatory. I always afraid about last minute, being late and still have a lot of things to do.
When I was young, when we wanted to go picnic. I was late and the ribbon in my dress haven’t been tied yet. (Back then, we have ribbon around the waist tied on the back). My brother was making fun of me, saying they would leave me. And all of them had got in the car outside the road. My dad was tying the ribbon, but I was trying to get away and asked him to hurry because I didn’t want to be left out. W
eird, I remember the incident vividly. Kids are easily traumatized I suppose.
3. Scary fish.
Normally, there would be big water body. A pond or a tub of maybe river or lake, although hardly, sometimes sea shores. The similarity, the water would be grayish or brownish. Mucky and not clear. And there would be fish inside. Big fish, all ugly type, grey color, ridiculously big in big number, or small but in bigger number. They would crowd the water and sometimes they jump or exposed because there is not enough space or they can ‘reach’ me. And the fish would be smelly. Fishy. Some would flipping on the floor dying. Yuck.
I hate it when I dream like that. I still terrified if I look at aquarium that is not properly maintained or sad horrible fish tank in restaurant or supermarket.
Maybe it have something to do with my past too. We used to have a lot of fish in the home, or sometimes my crazy cousin put fish in the tub. Once, a one and a half meter Arwana the dragon fish, jumped out and flipped like mad. The other time, he put a lot of small fish, and when the water was full enough, the fish jumped out and flipped on the floor. Freakish. Hiy.
But my latest dream of scary fish few days ago had some improvement. Maybe because it was not the same. It was in the sea shore, brownish water. I was preparing to dive in it, but hesitated. When I put my head to peek inside the water, I see.. what to call it in English? Mas koki, the fat fish with big popping eyes and nice tail. Normally they are aquarium size but these ones are one two meter size. At least it was not so terrifying, because the number are not too much in my dream and they were swimming happily.
Those are three type of nightmares that I subscribe to. Whenever I had those dreams, I know that Here it comes again. But I panic in the dream and had restless sleep. Dodol.
But last night I had another horrible dream. I dream every night, everytime I fall asleep, so I always dream and normally I will remember. Sometimes it affects me for a while.
I dreamt I was in a nice place and sitting on the beach with my friends and my husband, looking at the nice sky and sunset. Then all of the sudden a very very high wave came to us. The water was dark brown. Everyone was shouting Tsunami..! Some ran, some stunned. We managed to go to the second storey but that was it. The highest point. Higher but far far away, was a rocky mountain. Which I still managed to think that, if only I was as fit as I used to be. Cape.
Horrible dream.
A thing is not necessarily false because it is badly expressed, nor true because it is expressed manificently.
- St Augustine of Hippo, North Africa
Agenda for today: breathe out, breath in, breathe out.
- The Buddha, India
It is within our power not to make a judgement about something, and so not disturb our mind; for nothing in itself posseses the power to form our judgements.
- Marcus Aurellius, Rome
Friday, November 16, 2007
Singapore Zoo
Hari Minggu entah kapan, kita jalan2 ke zoo. Itulah akibatnya kalo males menulis, jadi kehilangan pegangan waktu.
Gue udah sering ke zoo ini, tapi udah agak lama sejak terakhir ke sono. Gue pernah diajakin kesono sekeluarga sama temen2 bokap sebagai turis dulu, ngajakin Hubby kesono, ngajakin sepupu gue kesono, ngajakin keluaraga Asung ke sono. Udah deh kayaknya. Sekarang ngajakin keluaraga adik gue kesono, biarpun pada prakteknya kita mencar juga karena gue ke gereja dulu. Ce e lah.
Sebenarnya dari zoo-zoo yang pernah gue kunjungin, Siangpore Zoo gue masukin sebagai paling bagus. Walapun banyak pengalaman unik di zoo lain juga. Waktu kecil, gue gak gitu inget kayak apa, zoo di Pontianak, kedengerannya kok butut ya, tapi gue inget ada beruangnya yang berdiri2 minta makan. Selaen itu gue cuman inget banyak pohon, tapi kayaknyaberuangnya itu tinggalnya di kandang beton, jadi bukan imitasi dari alam. Kebon Binatang Safari yang beken, kayaknya mendingan, tapi gue juga agak lupa soalnya udah lama, kayaknya singanya pada malas dan molor, trus perutnya kempes. Kayaknya sih konsepnya bagus, binatangnya boleh berkeliaran, tapi gue lupa. Kebon binatang di Balarat, Victoria merupakan tempat yang gue sukai. Kebon binatangnya kecil, waktu itu kita perginya udah satu jam sebelom tutup, jadi dikasih makanan kangguru gratis dua bungkus, bukan buat gue. Itu kayaknya kebun binatang khusus satwa Australi, jadi ada koala, emu, Tasmania dan tentunya kangguru. Kanggurunya berkeliaran bebas dan cuek. Cuma begitu gue keluarin makanannya, agak horror sih, satu2 mulai berloncatan dateng. Ngeliat kangguru loncat gludung2 ke arah loe, cukup serem lho! Dari segala arah dan tau2 mereka udah ngerubungin. Ini kangguru coklat. Ada yang narik2 celana ada yang berdiri, tapi pada sabar gue kasih2, pertama2 panik juga diantara mereka, ada kali 30-40 biji, tapi lama2 kayaknya makanannya kurang. Mereka lucu, ada yang kecil tapi berani, dia gaplok kangguru gedean yang mau nyolong makanan dia. Di Currumbin, Brisbane ada kebon bintang ada beken juga. Yang ada parakeet berkeliaran bebas, burung warna warni yang suka nangkring ditopi dan tangan dan bahu. Selaen itu ada pula kangguru bebas, kali ini kangguru abu2, mukanya lebih jutek.
Di entah namanya Taronga atau apa, Bangkok, zoonya ada gajahnya yang bisa ngangkat orang dengan sekali sentak. Tapi sayangnya sepertinya kurang binatangwi. Ada beruang madu yang minum susu berpotret bareng turis, tapi waktu beruangnya udah gak mau minum, tetap dipaksa. Kandang harimau juga salah satu pembatasnya dari kaca. Jadi harimaunya sebel dan galak. Mereka meraung2 waktu kitanya nempelin muka kekaca, apa karena kita lebih jelek dan gak berbulu..?
Jadi Singapore Zoo, mereka berusaha membuat semuanya alami. Walaupun bagaimanapun tetap imitasi, tapi gue bisa bilang mereka berusaha. Binatang2 bukan ditaruh dikandang, tapi di alam yang dibatasi parit. Ada aviary bebas buat serangga dan binatang2 lucu laen. Ada taman2 sayuran dan animal farm yang ada kuda poni dsb. Monyetnya juga banyak, banyak banget malah, berjenis2 dari hanuman monyet dufan yang jorok (dia garuk2 gituan didepan kaca) ampe monyet kecil mungil keriput yang berisik dan gibbon yang lebih berisik lagi. Gibbon tuh ternyata berisik lho! Ada pula orang utan yag pake kaen, hahahha!
Gue lagi malesn gubek2 fotonya, tapi begitu nemu, gue update deh dipost ini.
Ke zoo ini worth it, binatangnya banyak, dari berubu2 monyet ampe flamingo dan beruang kutub juga ada. Macan putih, timon dan pumba sampe lutung kasarung. Selaen itu ada pertunjukan2 tapi kemaren gak ngikutin soalnya gempor, capek dan puanuas..
Gue udah sering ke zoo ini, tapi udah agak lama sejak terakhir ke sono. Gue pernah diajakin kesono sekeluarga sama temen2 bokap sebagai turis dulu, ngajakin Hubby kesono, ngajakin sepupu gue kesono, ngajakin keluaraga Asung ke sono. Udah deh kayaknya. Sekarang ngajakin keluaraga adik gue kesono, biarpun pada prakteknya kita mencar juga karena gue ke gereja dulu. Ce e lah.
Sebenarnya dari zoo-zoo yang pernah gue kunjungin, Siangpore Zoo gue masukin sebagai paling bagus. Walapun banyak pengalaman unik di zoo lain juga. Waktu kecil, gue gak gitu inget kayak apa, zoo di Pontianak, kedengerannya kok butut ya, tapi gue inget ada beruangnya yang berdiri2 minta makan. Selaen itu gue cuman inget banyak pohon, tapi kayaknyaberuangnya itu tinggalnya di kandang beton, jadi bukan imitasi dari alam. Kebon Binatang Safari yang beken, kayaknya mendingan, tapi gue juga agak lupa soalnya udah lama, kayaknya singanya pada malas dan molor, trus perutnya kempes. Kayaknya sih konsepnya bagus, binatangnya boleh berkeliaran, tapi gue lupa. Kebon binatang di Balarat, Victoria merupakan tempat yang gue sukai. Kebon binatangnya kecil, waktu itu kita perginya udah satu jam sebelom tutup, jadi dikasih makanan kangguru gratis dua bungkus, bukan buat gue. Itu kayaknya kebun binatang khusus satwa Australi, jadi ada koala, emu, Tasmania dan tentunya kangguru. Kanggurunya berkeliaran bebas dan cuek. Cuma begitu gue keluarin makanannya, agak horror sih, satu2 mulai berloncatan dateng. Ngeliat kangguru loncat gludung2 ke arah loe, cukup serem lho! Dari segala arah dan tau2 mereka udah ngerubungin. Ini kangguru coklat. Ada yang narik2 celana ada yang berdiri, tapi pada sabar gue kasih2, pertama2 panik juga diantara mereka, ada kali 30-40 biji, tapi lama2 kayaknya makanannya kurang. Mereka lucu, ada yang kecil tapi berani, dia gaplok kangguru gedean yang mau nyolong makanan dia. Di Currumbin, Brisbane ada kebon bintang ada beken juga. Yang ada parakeet berkeliaran bebas, burung warna warni yang suka nangkring ditopi dan tangan dan bahu. Selaen itu ada pula kangguru bebas, kali ini kangguru abu2, mukanya lebih jutek.
Di entah namanya Taronga atau apa, Bangkok, zoonya ada gajahnya yang bisa ngangkat orang dengan sekali sentak. Tapi sayangnya sepertinya kurang binatangwi. Ada beruang madu yang minum susu berpotret bareng turis, tapi waktu beruangnya udah gak mau minum, tetap dipaksa. Kandang harimau juga salah satu pembatasnya dari kaca. Jadi harimaunya sebel dan galak. Mereka meraung2 waktu kitanya nempelin muka kekaca, apa karena kita lebih jelek dan gak berbulu..?
Jadi Singapore Zoo, mereka berusaha membuat semuanya alami. Walaupun bagaimanapun tetap imitasi, tapi gue bisa bilang mereka berusaha. Binatang2 bukan ditaruh dikandang, tapi di alam yang dibatasi parit. Ada aviary bebas buat serangga dan binatang2 lucu laen. Ada taman2 sayuran dan animal farm yang ada kuda poni dsb. Monyetnya juga banyak, banyak banget malah, berjenis2 dari hanuman monyet dufan yang jorok (dia garuk2 gituan didepan kaca) ampe monyet kecil mungil keriput yang berisik dan gibbon yang lebih berisik lagi. Gibbon tuh ternyata berisik lho! Ada pula orang utan yag pake kaen, hahahha!
Gue lagi malesn gubek2 fotonya, tapi begitu nemu, gue update deh dipost ini.
Ke zoo ini worth it, binatangnya banyak, dari berubu2 monyet ampe flamingo dan beruang kutub juga ada. Macan putih, timon dan pumba sampe lutung kasarung. Selaen itu ada pertunjukan2 tapi kemaren gak ngikutin soalnya gempor, capek dan puanuas..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)